11. Marissa
ELEVEN
MARISSA
My body aches when I wake up and stretch the next morning. I feel as if a mack truck hit me, but I have to be honest, and grin as I realize my husband did this. He used my body for pleasure, punished me in ways I wanted him to. There are bruises on my thighs in the shape of his fingertips, and hickies all over parts of my chest.
I never imagined the man I married could do this to me, didn't think he'd ever be able to take himself out of his own head long enough to set aside how he thinks I should be treated. It's as if I broke through an unspoken wall that Cain had erected around us. Glancing at the clock, I realize I have enough time to take a warm shower, and I need it badly. I haven't been fucked like this in way too long, scratch that, ever.
Every part of my body is tender as I get the shower ready, and then step under the warm flow of water. Where he grasped my hair in his hand and yanked, is sore too. There is a reminder along every inch of my body as the water hits it, and my muscles protest. I take an extra long time, letting the steam take away the ache I'm feeling everywhere, including between my thighs. When I run out of hot water, I step out and wrap a towel around my body.
With the palm of my hand, I wipe the moisture off the mirror and take a good look at myself. The Marissa staring back at me is different in so many ways compared to the Marissa that stared back yesterday. She didn't know what it was like for her husband to absolutely ravage her body. Didn't know what it would feel like to let all her inhibitions go and allow him the freedom to do whatever he wanted to do.
This Marissa's heart is clenching as she realized those two adults last night made no move to fix the separation between them. I hate it. The night I had with him is what I've wanted, and I'm craving it. I want to know when it's going to happen again. This Marissa is a little evil. I reach over on the counter and grab my cell phone, taking a picture in the mirror to show the badges of honor I have from last night. With a smirk, I send them to Cain.
C: I can't say I don't love the way those look on you. If you wear a shirt that's cut low enough, other men will see it, and they'll know you belong to someone. You may think you've seen women hit on me? I've seen men hit on you. Especially since you opened Enchanted Chapters.
There's a part of me that loves this jealous side of my husband.
M: I don't know what you're talking about. There aren't any men that have hit on me.
C: Oh, shut the fuck up. Every time I see you over at The Dinner Bell, there's a man asking to buy your meal. You know I'm right.
He is, but it's typically an older man who knows I'm helping their wife rediscover the sexuality they'd thought they'd lost with age and being stuck in a rut. They don't do it because they want to romance me; they do it because they're thankful.
M: They do, but it's not what you think.
C: Then why don't you have dinner with me tomorrow and explain it?
I desperately want to see him again, but I don't want to give in too easily. I want him to know I've missed him, but at the same time, I've lived my life. I've not let us being apart send me down a path of depression. I'd been worried about it at first. Even though I was the one who wanted this, it wasn't an easy decision to make. But if he's willing to put in the effort, then I will too.
M: When and where?
C: We'll talk about it when I get there.
I almost forgot he was supposed to come and help me this morning.
M: K... see you in a few.
C: I'm bringing breakfast. I may be a little later than I anticipated. Alexander Raven is heading over your way too. He's going to help me put something up until insurance comes through. It's not safe for you to have a broken window.
The fact he's thought of this warms my heart. It might be stupid of me, but here I am. We have years of history behind us, and while I was in a big hurry to force his hand, I'm more interested now in figuring out how we can move forward from here.
Quickly I get dressed, put some makeup on, and actually fix my hair. Heading downstairs, I'm ready to see the shop in the light of day. My steps falter slightly as I get to the last step. There's a truck outside the shop that I recognize as Alexander Raven's.
"Morning Marissa."
"Morning. I can't believe you're here so early." I give him a wave.
He tilts his head. "I haven't been asleep yet. Caroline has been having issues with her stomach, and none of us are getting any rest. I told Cain I would come help him with this, so I figured I'd do it before I laid down. Do they have any idea who did this?"
I shrug. "Not sure. Last night, when Cain and Wyatt showed up, the person was already gone. How much damage do you think was done?"
He puts his hands on his hips and nods toward the hole in the window. "There's nothing structural, so you have that going for you. The problem I see is that these windows are old. They might be hard to match. You haven't been here for a winter yet, have you?"
Folding my arms over my chest, I brace myself for what I'm pretty sure is about to be bad news. "No, this will be the first one."
"So, this window is single pane, which is freaking unheard of in this day and age. Your heating bill is going to be outrageous if you don't figure something out."
"Shit..." I run a hand through my hair. "What are my options?"
"Options for what?"
I turn to see Cain standing behind us. "My windows." He looks like a fucking model in a tight-fitting t-shirt and loose jeans. My gaze runs all the way down to the scuffed boots covering his feet. I bought those for him on our first anniversary, and he's never given them up. Not like the way I gave up on us.
"What's wrong with them?"
He hands me a bag. I recognize it as one of my favorite breakfast spots on the outskirts of Azure Ridge. It's owned by two sisters, and they make the best food. My stomach growls and mouth waters. I haven't had this since the last time he got it for me. I couldn't bring myself to go out there and get it for myself. It just brought out the memories, and I couldn't handle it. Although I was the one who asked for the separation, it didn't mean it didn't hurt. What I wanted more than anything was for him to realize things had to change between us. Maybe we're there now. "According to Alexander, they're single pane, and that's going to be a problem."
Tilting his head to the side, he slams his gaze toward Alex. "What do you think she should do? That's going to be hell on the heating bill, and it's never going to get warm in there."
"I was about to tell her." He raises his eyebrows at Cain, seemingly to let him know he interrupted our conversation. "If replacing all of them isn't an option, the insurance company will pay for the one that's broken. I can come by and seal them for you. There's a kit you can buy at any hardware store. It's plastic and you use a hair dryer to seal the edges. It's not going to be perfect, but it'll be better than what you have right now."
This is something I would've asked Cain's advice on previously. Now it's my responsibility, and it's not as easy as I imagined it would be to know what the right answer is. Instead, I'm questioning what I should do. There's no way I can afford to replace everything, but there's also no way I can afford the outrageous heating bill either. I'm between a rock and a hard place.
Cain, for his part, doesn't say anything. He looks over at me and patiently waits for me to give him my answer. "Can you price what it will be for me to get all brand-new windows? That way I can save for next year? I think the smart thing to do for this year is to use the plastic you were talking about."
Alex pulls his phone from his pocket and makes a note. "I'll get back to you as soon as I can with the quote." He swings his eyes over to Cain. "The plywood is in my truck, if you wanna help me get the hole sealed up."
"Yeah, no problem."
"I'm going to open the store and eat this." I hold up the bag. "Thank you again."
He smiles at me. "You're welcome."
I unlock the door and head in. Today, it feels different walking inside, as if what was my safe space yesterday isn't as safe now. I close it behind me so that I can take inventory of what it looks like in here. If it's demolished, I'll have to close for the day, and it'll break my heart. I've never had to close before, unless it was a regular non-working day. Deciding I need something on my stomach before I face whatever this is, I have a seat at the register and put the sack on the counter. Reaching in, I pull out the biscuit and open the wrapper. It's still hot, and there's a container of the homemade strawberry jelly they're famous for. Fixing the breakfast the way I like it, I sink my teeth into the food, and moan as the flavors explode on my tongue.
When I feel a gaze on me, I turn to the left, and that's when I see Cain. He's standing at the doorway, his dark eyes absolutely glowing with arousal. "Enjoying it?"
"Yes, thank you for bringing it."
He saunters over to the counter, his hips rolling. When he gets over, he leans onto the counter, his forearms a feast for my eyes. A tattoo covers the bottom of his right forearm, depicting a forest and mountains. It's where he feels the most comfortable, and where we'd spend most of our time in the summer and winter. The night he got it, I fucked his brains out because it was so hot. He bends in closer to me. "You're welcome, but I didn't count on getting hard watching you eat a biscuit today."
My cheeks warm. Where in the world has this man been hiding the entire time we've been together? This is what I wanted from him, but I could never seem to get him to understand. I open my mouth, then close it.
"Speechless?"
I nod, making a noise in the back of my throat.
"Good." He reaches forward, cupping my chin in the palm of his hand. "You've had me speechless for a good part of our relationship and marriage. It's time you feel what I've been feeling for a very long time. Let me know when it's okay to open. Alex and I will make sure your window is taken care of."
I nod, throat dry, and wonder how in the fuck I'm going to survive this man who seems to be dead set on surprising the hell outta me.