19. Marissa
NINETEEN
MARISSA
"Do you want me to follow you to the house?" I question Cain as we get done with the inventory. "I'm going to close early. It's been a long week."
"That it has." He yawns, stretching his arms up. "Why don't you grab clothes and spend the night? We'll sleep. Lord knows I need it."
So do I, although we've been acting like teenagers, we are most definitely not any longer. My body is screaming at the abused muscles. "If I spend the night, does that mean I get to use our big tub?"
"If that's what you want. I'll even draw you a bath."
He's never offered to do that before. As far as I know, it's not ever been a thought in his mind. "Okay, let me go grab my stuff. I'll follow you since I have to open the store tomorrow."
The look on his face says he wants to be the one to take me. He wants to be the reason I stay there with him. "I'm gonna head out. I'll see you when you get home." He leans down, kissing me on the cheek.
Home. That word has once meant the house we shared, but then that place felt as if it were a prison. A place that the two of us could use against each other. We'd argue about who was supposed to be doing the chores, or I'd purposely not make dinner because I was irritated with him. I'm not proud of it. What I've learned since then is home is what you make of it. Right now, the apartment above the shop is my home, but I miss him. That's the only part that's keeping it from being exactly what I need. "I'll see you there."
I lock up the shop and go up the stairs. Once there, I throw my bag on the bed and start packing it. I don't want to be away from him any longer than I have to. After I get everything I'm going to need, because there should still be some of my stuff there, I shoulder the bag and take the stairs two at a time.
"Cain? Where are you?" I yell as I walk in the backdoor of our house.
Even from here, I can smell the scent of his body wash. It's always given me a sense of comfort. He's used the same one since we were in high school. Cuddling up next to him, and smelling that scent? It takes me back to cold nights next to a bonfire in the middle of a field.
"Shower," he yells. "About to be done."
Going back to the bedroom, I have a seat and look around. While we were here not long ago, I didn't let myself see if he's made any kind of changes. I close my eyes and take a deep breath, before opening them back up and gazing around the room. There have been a few slight changes here and there. Gone are the quilts I had hanging beside the closet. Those have been replaced with what appears to be a high-tech bike. There are a bit more of his touches around the room, his wallet on the nightstand, which he used to leave next to the door. A couple of t-shirts are draped over the chair I used to sit in when I would read.
He comes out of the shower, towel-drying his hair, a pair of sweatpants slung low on his hips. "How was the drive over?"
"Uneventful."
When he's done with his hair, he pulls the towel down and looks over at me. "Where's your stuff?"
"Put it next to the door."
He nods, a smile spread across his face. "Good. You wanna take a bath, and then we watch some TV?"
"Yeah, I'd like that. I have a question for you first, though."
"You can ask me anything." He comes over, wrapping his arms around my waist, hauling me over to him.
"Is my stuff still here?" I whisper, scared of the answer. If it had been me, and he'd left, I'd more than likely throw it all out.
He pulls back, a look of astonishment on his face. "Yes, why wouldn't it be? I'm not throwing your shit away, no matter how mad I was at you. Actually mad is the wrong word. I was hurt that you could walk away so easily."
"It wasn't easy," I argue. "Nothing about me choosing to leave was easy, but it felt necessary."
His hand moves from my waist to my chin, cupping around to my neck, and then traveling up into my hair. "You're right, it was necessary. If you hadn't made that move, who knows where we'd be. We'd probably still be unhappy and trying to figure out how to continue to live life while we were miserable. I'm thankful you did it. It proved how much you mean to me, and I've missed the hell out of you." He drops his forehead to mine. "I love you, Ris."
I close my eyes, not wanting the tears that are pooling to fall. "I love you too, Cain. Please don't break my heart again. There won't be another chance."
"I hear you. You needed things from me that I wasn't giving you."
"And you needed the same from me. If I slip up, I want you to call me on my shit. Same with you." Reaching my hand in between us, I hold up my pinky. "Do you promise?"
He hooks his pinky with mine. "Promise. Now come on, let me draw that bath for you.
Stretching out in the bathtub is everything I remember it being. In fact, there's one memory I have that tingles at the back of my neck. One night, Cain and I'd had too much to drink. We'd spread out in the tub, and he'd taken me roughly. The only other time he's done it, besides the past few times we've been together. That night I'd gotten a glimpse of the man he can be, and I'd love that taste. It was honestly the catalyst to where we've been the past few days.
I missed this tub. It was one of the reasons I pushed to buy this house. In my apartment, there's only a shower. Tilting my head back against the edge, I close my eyes.
For a few minutes, it's quiet and peaceful, but then I can feel someone else in the room with me. Squinting one eye open, I see Cain sitting on the counter, staring at me. "Why are you sitting there like a stalker?"
He chuckles, letting his hands dangle between his knees. "Because I want to make sure you're having a good time. That's the most important thing for me."
"You know I have a good time in the tub."
A deep noise in the back of his throat answers. "That's true. You've never been one to turn down a hot bath in here."
"Never." I settle back against the edge. "How is work going?"
He raises his eyebrows, sliding off the counter to sit on the plush rug. "Do you really wanna know? I think you know what the climate is for cops."
"I always want to know. We live in a small town, but we're not immune. It would help me to know what you're dealing with. I got kicked out of the wife group chat for Willow County after I left." Admitting that is hard. It was the one thing that made me question what I'd decided to do. To be cut off from that support system I'd always had. Not only did I lose him, but I lost them, too. It was a harsh truth that I had to face head on.
"They kicked you out?"
I thought he'd known. That he'd ask them to alienate me. It had hurt more than I had anticipated. "Yeah, but I kinda understood."
"I don't." He grinds the back of his teeth together, his jaw ticking with annoyance. "You should never be taken from the group you've grown so close to because of something that happened between us. It didn't even concern them. I'm going to have a talk with Penelope," he mentions the unofficial leader of the Willow County WAGS.
"So I haven't been privy to any of the information that's been passed between all of them in the past six months. Please, catch me up."
He sighs heavily, but crosses his legs in front of him, and starts telling me everything I've missed.