Chapter Eight
You Gonna Eat That?
LIAM O’CONNOR
“You gonna eat that?”
I look down at my nearly untouched plate of bacon and eggs. A knot of anxiety rests heavy in my stomach. I shouldn’t have ordered. I have zero appetite.
All my brother and I need to do is follow these idiots out of town and then I can resume my plans to get as far from Ash Hollow as possible.
I shove the plate across the table to my brother. “Help yourself.”
Bast stacks my plate on top of his and digs in. “Think they know we’re here and that’s why they’re not coming down?”
My gaze strays to the staircase in the main lobby, the only access point from their room upstairs. The clerk, an old friend who still clings to the values of small-town trust and loyalty, hadn’t hesitated to share information on the two out-of-towners.
“Probably can hear us,” I say, taking a quick sip of my coffee, the hot, bitter brew providing a distraction for my chaotic thoughts.
Bast suddenly tips his head to the side. He’s watching something out the window behind my head. “Your girl is here.”
I stiffen at his words and a low growl rolls up from my chest. “Don’t say that.” I resist the instinctual urge to turn and look for her. My wolf senses her presence, the magickal mate bond straining for connection. I have to leave soon.
“Still think you should tell Aiden,” Bast says, his tone barely hiding his anger over the situation.
“The pack needs this arrangement. I’m not about to instigate a full-blown pack war in this valley. And neither is Gen. We agreed this was best.”
“It’s fucked-up.” He lifts the napkin from his lap and wipes his mouth with a sense of finality, then puts it across his plate.
“I never said it wasn’t.”
The echo of heavy footsteps on the staircase pulls my attention away from Bast. “They must’ve been watching for her.” Swiftly, I rise from the table and step outside. Bast falls into step behind me.
Gen is at the far end of the expansive porch, pacing back and forth. Her arms are crossed over her chest, a defensive stance that speaks volumes to stormy emotions.
The rapid beat of her heart reaches my sensitive ears, signaling her distress. A distinct smell of fear, worry, and an unknown element, as slick as oil, clings to her, adding another layer of complexity to this convoluted situation.
She isn’t afraid of the two approaching men, that much is clear. She whirls on them and shoves an envelope toward one of the men, yet her gaze isn’t focused on him. Her clear blue eyes find me over his shoulders.
Her mouth parts into a soft “oh,” surprise etched on her features. She hadn’t expected to see me again. The look of pain that briefly flits through her eyes stings my wolf, a fresh wound on our shared soul.
Being here with her, seeing her, touching her, it’s a dangerous dance, each step making it harder to execute my planned departure. But there’s no choice.
I have to leave. For both of us.
“She’s sure this will do the trick without her?” The one who calls himself Jace takes the envelope, advancing on Gen with a predatory step.
A guttural snarl escapes my throat as I spring forward, positioning myself as a barrier between Gen and the unwelcome males. “Back off, asshole.”
Bast joins me, creating a united front against them, a similar intimidating growl rippling from his chest. They are sizable opponents, and while Bast and I may prefer to avoid a brawl because we were taught good manners by our mother...we would win.
The second man grabs Jace’s arm, tugging him back. “Bro, let’s go. We can’t do this. VonBrandt would lose his shit if we started something up here and so would Travis.”
Ignoring the distraction, I maintain eye contact with Jace, a primal show of dominance. “Don’t come back. You’re not welcome in these mountains.”
Bast takes an aggressive step forward, his anger mirroring my own. “Tell your alpha if they send anyone else it will be viewed as an act of war.”
“Yeah, yeah. Got it,” the other man says again, managing to finally pull Jace’s attention away.
Jace glares at me, his pride obviously wounded by our dismissal.
Fuck him.
His alpha should’ve known better. Moonbound wolves are human in most aspects, but we are extremely territorial. And these guys had grossly overstepped and disrespected every pack in the area by coming in and trying to take someone that didn’t belong to them.
Without another word, they turn and retreat.
Bast tracks their exit from the porch and into the parking lot, leaving Gen and me in a cocoon of tension-laden privacy.
With a slow, reluctant turn of my body, I face the mate I’ll never be able to claim.
Gen is looking down at the worn, wooden planks beneath her boots. Her stare is focused on something only she can see.
“You okay?” I ask, my question a somber attempt to break the uncomfortable silence.
“I’m fine.” She’s lying.
“They’re gone.” I reach out tentatively to put a hand on her arm, but she recoils as if I were a live wire, threatening to shock her. My heart constricts painfully. Fucking hell.
“Why are you here?” She rubs her hands up and down her arms. “You shouldn’t be here.”
“Aiden ordered us to follow them, to make sure they leave town for real. And then—” My voice trails off, but the words linger in the air like floating embers from a dying fire.
Her gaze, previously anchored to the ground, suddenly snaps up to meet mine. “And then what?”
“I’m leaving.” The words fall heavily from my lips.
She swallows slowly, the movement seeming to take an immense effort, and nods. Then she sucks back a sob, a pitiful gasp that sounds like it’s been torn from the bottom of her soul.
Fuck.
I step forward, the porch boards creaking at my weight. I corner her gently against the roughened wood of the porch pillar and wrap my arms around her, pulling her tight against my chest. The edges of my heart rub raw with the intensity of her pain.
She burrows her face into my chest and sobs.
“I’m sorry. I wish I could carry it for you. All of it.” I whisper the words into her hair, the sweet floral scent of her filling my senses, intoxicating me.
I take it in deeply, branding it into my memory. I know I’ll never touch her again after today. The thought is a vise around my heart, squeezing tighter and tighter.
Never see her.
Never smell her.
Her sobs eventually slow, replaced by shaky breaths that puff against my chest. I don’t know how long we stand there, lost in our embrace, but it doesn’t matter. All that matters is her. If I can give her the strength she needs to move forward from this moment, I will.
I’d give her anything. Everything.
“I’ll be gone after today. The farther away I am, the easier it will get, I promise.” The lie tastes bitter on my tongue.
She pushes back from my chest and reaches up, her small hands cupping my face. Her touch is an anchor in the storm, the calm within the chaos. It’s heaven and I stand still hoping the moment doesn’t end. Then she meets my gaze, hers ablaze with a fury I don’t expect.
“Don’t lie. What we’re giving up will not get easier. I’ll never forget the spark I feel when we touch. I’ll never forget the way you smell. The way we fit together. The way you feel like home. Aiden will never have my heart because I won’t have it to give him. It will always be yours. No matter how much time passes.”
Her words are a litany of truths, each one carving itself into my heart.
She pulls my head down, brushing her lips across mine in a ghostly caress. “Don’t lie to me or to yourself. Nothing about this situation will ever get easier.”
“If I was selfish, I would take you and run,” I whisper against her lips, my voice breaking under the crushing weight of my emotions. The nearness of her, the warmth of her body seeping into mine, is overwhelming. Every cell in my body screams at me to do just that—take her and run—but I know I can’t.
A sad, knowing smile pulls at her lips. “But you’re not. And I respect that about you. If we were selfish, so many people would suffer.” The melody of her voice is a soothing balm to the raw edges of my heart.
Everything around us seems to fade away, as if the world itself is holding its breath, caught in this moment.
I cup her face in my hands this time, my fingertips etching the contours of her face into my memory. Her skin is so soft, a cruel contrast to the angry, unpredictable storm raging within me. I lean down and bring her mouth to mine, needing to taste her, to burn this moment into my soul forever.
Nothing exists but her. I’m greedy and so incredibly selfish, but I need more of her right now. I need to remember everything about this stolen moment. I deepen the kiss.
It’s passionate and bittersweet.
The ache in my chest grows with every beat of my heart.
The sweetness of her lips and the saltiness of her tears mix together, creating a symphony of longing and sorrow. I know we’re both drowning in the weight of what we’re about to lose. We’re both reaching for memories, trying to grab remnants of a dream that can never be.
Reluctantly, I pull away, our foreheads resting against each other’s, the small space between us filled with our mingling breaths. Each exhale is laced with the pain of our impending separation.
Time resumes its cruel march forward, the world around us reasserting itself with cold reality. And no matter how much I want to stop it and stay here in this moment, I can’t.
We can’t.
A sound like a jagged knife tears through the fragile bubble we’d created, yanking us both harshly from the moment. I recognize the horn from my truck. Bast is waiting.
“Goodbye, Gen,” I say, the words choking me in my throat, sounding as broken as I feel. My chest constricts, bound by invisible chains, each breath harder than the last.
I press a tender kiss to the top of her head before turning away. My heart breaks with every step I take away from her. Each footfall echoes in my ears, a somber drumbeat marking my retreat. I force my legs to carry me onward, despite the overwhelming urge to turn back.
The air around me grows heavier. The weight of leaving her behind presses down on me painfully. I’m leaving my heart with the only woman I’ll ever love.
Climbing into the cab of the truck feels like a death sentence. My body is heavy and numb, and I slam the door behind me. Like the act will somehow block out the pain of existing in a world where I can’t be with my mate.
“Probably good you’re not going to be here for the blood moon run and then the wedding. Aiden’s pretty observant and you two are like white on rice when you’re in close proximity,” Bast says, his tone filled with the underlying tension of unspoken words.
“Yeah,” I reply, the word sounding empty and hollow even to my own ears.
“I’m really sorry, Liam. And as pissed as I am that you’re leaving, I do understand. I wish you were willing to tell Mom. You’re gonna kill her and our little brother. They’re gonna know I know something. Everyone will,” Bast continues, his words filled with a sorrow that threatens to engulf the space inside the truck.
“I’m losing a mate,” I snap, the bitterness in my voice cutting harshly. “It’s not like I won’t be able to call and talk. I just—”
“Won’t be able to ever come home,” Bast finishes for me, the finality of the statement hanging heavy in the cab.
“Yeah. That.” The crushing weight of reality settles over me like a suffocating blanket. The thought of a future without her is an empty abyss, a cruel and lonely path endlessly stretching out before me. No mate. No family.
She was right. I was lying.
This isn’t going to get easier.