Chapter 15
LEILA
By morning, I know what I have to do.
I find Ronan in his study at eight a.m., looking like he hasn't slept either. There are dark circles under his eyes, and his hair is disheveled, like he's been running his hands through it all night. He looks up when I enter, and I can see the tension in every line of his body.
"I'll do it," I say without preamble. "I'll marry you."
The relief that washes over his face is so profound, it takes my breath away. "Leila—”
"But I have conditions,” I interrupt, before I can lose my nerve. I can feel my heart hammering against my ribs.
His expression becomes guarded. "What kind of conditions?"
"My mother has to be there. At the wedding." I take a deep breath, steeling myself. "If I'm doing this, if I'm becoming your wife, even temporarily, then she needs to meet you. She needs to know who I'm marrying."
I can see the instant resistance to the idea in his face. "That's not safe. Bringing her here, having her involved—"
"Then we don't get married." I cross my arms, trying to project a confidence I don't entirely feel. "Those are my terms, Ronan. My mother is there, or I walk away."
He studies my face for a long moment, clearly weighing the risks.
"She needs to be kept in the dark about the real reasons for this. Tell her what you want, make up whatever, but you can’t tell her about Rocco, or the threats to your safety.
She needs to know as little as possible for her own personal safety. ”
I nod quickly, although I hate the idea of lying to my mother. I’ll think of some way to explain it, though. I just can’t imagine a wedding without her there, even if it’s not a permanent marriage. "I understand that."
"And after the wedding, she goes back home with additional security. She can't stay here."
I take a deep, relieved breath. "I wouldn't ask her to."
He nods slowly. "Anything else?"
"I want to pick out my own dress. And I want to see my friend Alicia.
I want her to come with me." The words come out in a rush.
"I know you said it wasn't safe, but if we're getting married anyway, if I'm about to become your wife, then surely I can have one normal experience before my entire life changes. "
Ronan is quiet for so long that I start to think he's going to refuse. Then he surprises me.
"We can arrange something. You’ll have heavy security, of course, and the environment will be controlled.
But Leila—" His voice becomes deadly serious.
"You have to be extremely careful about what you say to her.
One slip, one mention of the real reason for this marriage, and you could put her in danger.
" He pauses. “And your life isn’t going to change forever. This is temporary. But I understand that you only get married for the first time once, even if the situation is… unconventional.” He gives me a tired smile before his expression turns serious again.
“You have to obey your security team. Do what they say at all times.”
I nod quickly. "I understand."
"Do you? Because the only reason I'm agreeing to this is that we're about to be married. Once you're my wife, the rules change. But until then, you're still vulnerable. And so is anyone connected to you. I can make this safe for you, but only if you play by the rules."
I bite my lip, feeling the responsibility that this puts on me if I want my best friend there. If I want my mother there. Every choice I make, every word I speak, could have consequences for the people I love. I’m not going to do anything that could put them in more danger.
"I'll be careful," I promise, and I mean it.
Ronan nods, his eyes never leaving mine. "You'd better be. Because if something happens to your friend because you slip up, I'll never forgive myself. And neither will you."
—
The next morning, I find myself in the back of a bulletproof SUV, surrounded by what feels like as much security as a head of state.
Finn sits in the front passenger seat, his eyes constantly scanning the streets, while two other men I don't recognize flank me in the back seat. There’s another SUV behind us, with additional security.
I ask if we can stop for Starbucks, and Finn gives me a look in the rearview mirror that quickly quells that idea entirely.
Truthfully, I knew it was a stupid request, but I’m grasping for any sense of normalcy. I’m terrified right now—tomorrow morning, Ronan’s father will want his answer about what he’s going to do with me. I know that Padraigh isn’t going to be happy to hear marry her as Ronan’s reply.
I don’t know what’s going to happen, besides the fact that Ronan is hell-bent on going through with this and believes it’s the only way to keep me safe. I don’t know what his father’s end reaction will be. All I can do is trust Ronan and hope that isn’t another mistake.
It's surreal, being out in the real world after weeks of isolation.
Boston looks the same as always—gray December sky, slushy snow on the sidewalks, people hurrying along with their heads down against the cold.
But I feel like I'm seeing it through different eyes now, hyperaware of everything that’s going on, desperate to stay out in civilization for as long as I can.
I didn’t actually need to stop for coffee, because we’re meeting Alicia at a small cafe in Cambridge before we go to the bridal shop.
I was allowed a single text to her, letting her know I was safe and to meet me there at the appointed time, and that I’d explain things then.
I didn’t know if it would be enough—I’d have been suspicious of a text like that if Alicia had gone missing—but she must have been anxious enough to see me that it worked.
I spot her through the window before we even park—dark hair, pale freckled skin, animated gestures as she talks to the barista.
She looks exactly the same as she did three weeks ago, which somehow makes me feel like a completely different person.
She hasn’t changed at all, and I feel like everything has changed for me.
"Twenty minutes," Finn says as he opens my door. "My men will be inside and outside. Don't say anything that could put your friend in danger. Nothing about Rocco, nothing about your kidnapping."
I nod, swallowing hard. "I understand."
But as I walk toward the café entrance, my heart is pounding. I'm about to see my best friend for the first time since my entire world changed, and I have no idea how to act normal around her.
Alicia spots me the moment I walk through the door. She's up and rushing toward me before I can even process her movement, wrapping me in a hug so tight it steals my breath.
"Leila! Oh my God, where have you been? I've been so worried!" She pulls back to look at me, her eyes bright with unshed tears. "You just disappeared. No one knew where you were, your mom wouldn't tell me anything except that you were safe—"
"I'm sorry," I say, and I mean it. "I couldn't contact anyone. It's complicated."
"Complicated how?" She guides me to a corner table, away from the other customers.
I see two coffees there—she must have gotten my usual order for me.
The thought makes tears prick at the corners of my eyes.
"And who are those men in suits? They’re trying to blend in, but I see them. Are you in some kind of trouble?"
I glance around and spot two of Ronan's security team positioned near the entrance, trying to look casual while clearly watching every person who comes and goes.
"I'm getting married," I say, partly because it's true and partly because I need to change the subject.
Alicia's mouth falls open, shock stealing her words for a moment before they come pouring out again. "Married? To who? When did you start dating someone? And why didn't you tell me?"
I swallow hard. "It happened very quickly. His name is Ronan, and he's… he's been taking care of me. And my mom."
Alicia frowns, her eyes narrowing. She’s not buying it, and I knew she wouldn’t.
I saw her right before Thanksgiving, and there’s no way in hell I wouldn’t have told her if I was seeing someone.
For me to disappear and reemerge with a fiancé is so out of character that I’d have to actually be an entirely different person, not just feel like one. "Taking care of you, how?"
I bite my lip, knowing I’m not doing a good job of selling this, either. "He helped with mom's medical bills. Made sure she got the best care." That much is true, at least.
"And in exchange, you're marrying him?" Her voice rises slightly, causing several people to turn and look. "Leila, that sounds like—"
"It's not like that," I interrupt, lowering my voice to encourage her to do the same. "It's not transactional. I care about him."
Is that a lie? I think of how it made me feel to see Ronan yesterday, exhausted and disheveled. How badly I feel that his Good Samaritan moment of rescuing me turned into this. How I’ve upended his life because he couldn’t leave me there. That’s caring, isn’t it?
"You care about him," Alicia repeats slowly. "After knowing him for what, a few weeks? You disappeared on us, Leila. On me and on your sick mother. I know you wouldn’t do that for a man. I know. There’s something else going on here."
I give her a despairing look. “I can’t tell you everything.
” I lower my voice. “Of course, I didn’t ditch you both for a man.
You know I wouldn’t do that. There is more, but I just can’t tell you right now.
I need you to trust me that I’m okay. That I’m not being forced into anything…
that this is the best thing for me and for Mom. ”
Alicia stares at me. “You want me to just… believe that?”
“Please.” I reach out and grab her hand. “We’ve been friends forever. Please just trust me. Mom does.”
“Does she know you’re getting married?”