Chapter 8
Frankie
There are women in this world who can be with a man and feel nothing.
No guilt. No regret. No shame. And not a single lovey, dovey feeling or even a hopeful yearning.
They literally feel nothing at all. I was NOT one of those women.
Not even close. I don’t know what I was thinking.
From that very first kiss, I’d gotten all warm and fuzzy inside, and then, the sex.
Oh my. It was truly unbelievable. It was the best sex I’d ever had.
No doubt about it. So, it was only natural that I’d have a rush of feelings—no matter how unwelcome they might be.
I wished I could’ve been stronger and kept my feelings at bay.
Maybe then, I wouldn’t have been so hurt by Roman’s cold farewell.
It was my own fault. I’d never given him any reason to believe I wanted anything more than just a one-night stand—a little romp in the coffee shop, so I shouldn’t have expected some grand gesture at the end of the night.
While it stung a little, it was the right thing to do.
Neither of us were looking for a relationship, so I needed to put on my big girl panties and suck it up.
No more of the warm, gushy feelings for Roman.
It was just a one-time fling, and it was time to put it behind me.
Unfortunately, that was easier said than done—especially with Sydney around.
As soon as she got to the coffee shop, she started hammering me with questions.
“Well, what do you think of the new do?”
“I think it looks great.” She’d spent the entire morning at the salon, and while I wasn’t a huge fan of the new red color, I wasn’t about to tell her that. “What about you? Do you like it?”
“Not as crazy about this particular shade of red as I thought I’d be, but I’m hoping it will grow on me.” She leaned back against the counter and crossed her arms with a smile. “So, how was last night?”
“It was fine.”
“Did you drink the wine I got you?”
“Yeah, I had a couple of glasses.”
“And what about the rom-com? Did you find a good one to watch?”
“No. I really didn’t have time.”
“Why not?”
“I don’t know. I was just doing other stuff.”
“Like what?” Her eyes grew wide as she gasped, “Did you try the vibrator?”
“No!” I glanced around the coffee shop to make sure no one heard her. “I didn’t use it and lower your voice. Someone might hear you.”
“There are two people in here, and they both look like they are close to eighty. I doubt either of them heard me, and even if they did, I doubt they even know what a vibrator is.” She leaned over to me as she said, “And even if they did, you have nothing to be embarrassed about. You’re a single mother with absolutely no chance of getting laid. ”
“Yes, I do!”
“Yeah, whatever. Those cobwebs are growing by the second, so it’s either use that vibrator I gave you or form an intimate relationship with your showerhead.”
“I’ll have you know I have no need for the vibrator or my showerhead. And whatever cobwebs I may or may not have had are gone.”
“What?” Her eyes narrowed. “Are you saying you’ve had sex?”
I glanced around once more, checking to see if anyone could hear as I asked, “Could you be any louder?”
“Answer the question, Frankie!”
“Yes.” I turned to start a fresh pot of coffee as I said, “I had sex.”
“What?” She stepped over to me and leaned forward with her face inches from mine. “With who?”
“It doesn’t matter who.” I turned my attention back to the coffee maker. “Now, drop it.”
“You tell me you finally had sex with someone after ump-teen years, and you just want me to leave it?”
“Yes. As a matter of fact, I do.”
“But we tell each other everything.”
I shook my head. “Not this time.”
“Oh...my...God. You banged the hot biker!” She gave me a playful shove. “You little slut! I’m so proud of you.”
“I never said he was the one I slept with.”
“You didn’t have to.” A proud smirk crossed her face as she toyed with a strand of her freshly dyed hair. “It’s written all over your face.”
“No, it is not.” My tone was harsh, almost too harsh. “Now, please, just drop it.”
“Fine.” She held her hands up in surrender. “I’ll let you have this one, but the next time I have a wild night of hot sex, I’m not telling you about it.”
“I’ll survive.” When my cell started to ring, I picked it up and groaned when I saw it was Marc calling. Worried something might be wrong, I rushed towards the office as I told Sydney, “It’s Marc. I’ll be in the office if you need me.”
“Be sure and tell Asshat I said hello.”
“Um-hmm. Sure will.” I closed my office door as I answered, “Hello?”
“Sean has basketball practice tomorrow afternoon.”
“Yeah. I’m aware and planning to pick him up as soon as it’s over.”
“Hmm.” I could almost feel the tension in his voice as he said, “Surprised you had time to make plans for your children with all you have going on.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“I saw you last night,” he snarled.
“You saw me? When?”
“Last night.” His words dripped with anger. “The boys and I were headed home from the big game, and when we came by the coffee shop, I saw you and your friend getting into your car. Looks like you found yourself a real winner, Frankie. Thank God the boys didn’t see you with garbage like that.”
Hearing him talk about Roman in such a negative way infuriated me.
I wanted to lay into him and tell him to kiss my ass, but the boys were with him.
I didn’t want my actions to make their weekend with him any more difficult than it already was.
I’d already been there. Done that. It wasn’t that long ago when Marc lost it on the boys.
The boys hadn’t wanted to go to his house for the entire weekend, so I let them tell him a little, white lie that they had a bowling party to go to that Friday night.
I knew it was wrong to let them lie, to lie myself, but they were so adamant about not wanting to go.
Marc had just gotten remarried to Lila Jo, our family hairdresser and friend, and the boys just wanted some time to adjust to things.
I couldn’t blame them. Marc had spent years trying to cover it up, but everyone knew they’d been having an affair and were horrified by the fact.
The whole thing sickened the boys, and they wanted no part of it—so I went along with the lie about bowling.
That was a mistake.
It had only been an hour or so since I’d dropped them off when I got my first message from Corry.
Corry:
It’s bad, Mom. Really bad.
Me:
Bad how?
Corry:
He found out.
Me:
What’s going on? What’s he doing?
Corry:
He’s got Sean in the back bedroom. He’s got a belt, Mom.
My blood ran cold as I read my son’s message.
I’d spanked the kids before. That wasn’t the problem.
It was Marc taking things too far. I’d been on the other end of his blown temper enough times to know that things could turn bad really fast. It’s one of the reasons why I’d never let Marc spank the kids.
He’d get mad and just grab whatever he could get his hands on to spank them with.
The last time it had been a shoe cleaning brush with an extra-long, thick handle that had belonged to my grandfather.
When Marc had picked it up to hit Corry with it, I stepped between them, refusing to let him even touch Corry with it.
That cost me. It cost me dearly, but there wasn’t anything I wouldn’t do for my boys.
That had never changed. That need to protect my children at all costs had me messaging Marc.
Me:
Do not spank Sean with that belt, Marc. If you do, I’m calling the police.
He didn’t respond which made my heart race with panic. I wasn’t sure what I should do. I wanted to rush over there and stop him but feared I’d never make it in time. Having no other choice, I called Marc. As soon as he answered, he shouted, “What!”
“Do not spank Sean with that belt, Marc!”
“Don’t tell me what I can and can’t do with my boys, Frankie! If I want to spank them, I will!”
“No! You are not to spank the boys! Not now. Not ever! It’s in the court order!”
“You can’t keep me from disciplining my kids! No one can!” he roared. “They lied to me, and now, they’re both going to pay the price for it.”
“And what do you think the judge is going to think about that? You’re almost done with your anger management classes. Clearly, they didn’t help!”
“I wouldn’t have to manage my anger if you hadn’t let them lie to me! This is on you, not me!”
“You’re right. This is my fault, Marc. Don’t take it out on the boys!”
“I will not be lied to, Frankie!”
“I understand that. It won’t happen again. I swear it! Just stop this before you take things too far.”
“These boys need to learn some fucking respect! And so do you! My weekends are my weekends! You do not get to fuck around with my days! Is that understood?”
“Yes, Marc. It’s understood.” I agreed, hoping he would settle down enough to leave the boys alone. “Now, please do not spank Sean with that belt.”
He didn’t respond. Instead, he simply hung up the phone, leaving me wondering what the hell he was going to do. I was praying silently to myself as I sent Corry another message.
Me:
I talked to you father. Let me know what happens.
Corry:
He’s so mad.
Corry:
He thinks Sean was the one who lied. I tried to tell him it was me.
Me:
It’s going to be okay, Corry.
Corry:
I should’ve stopped him. It’s my fault. I should’ve done something.
Me:
This isn’t your fault, and you did do something. You messaged me. Everything’s going to be fine.
Corry:
I gotta go. He’s coming.
I spent the next hour having no idea what was going on with Marc and the boys.
I was so torn. I desperately wanted to call the police.
I thought it was the only way I’d know for sure he wasn’t hurting them like he’d hurt me so many times.
Thankfully, after an hour or so, Corry messaged to let me know they were okay.
Marc had spanked the boys with the belt.
I was about to call the police when Corry assured me that the beating wasn’t too bad, and he hadn’t left any marks on either of them.
Once it was all over, Marc sent them to their room for the rest of the night.
While I wasn’t happy about any of it, I knew it could’ve been so much worse.
Just thinking about that day had me wanting to smooth things over with Marc as soon as possible. I didn’t want him to lose his temper, so I kept my response short and to the point. “We’re divorced, Marc. And you’re remarried. Who I’m with is none of your business.”
“I don’t give a damn who you’re fucking, Frankie. Never fucking have. Just don’t want you spreading your legs when my boys are around.”
“That’s enough, Marc.”
“I’ll decide when it’s been enough! You keep your garbage away from my boys or you’ll fucking regret it.”
“Don’t threaten me, Marc.”
“Oh, that’s not a threat, baby. That’s a fucking promise,” he growled. “I’ll take those boys so fast your head will spin.”
“There’s no court on the planet that will give you custody of those boys, Marc.”
“You’re wrong about that! I’m married. I have a good job, and I can give them the kind of security you can’t.
” I hated to admit it, but his threat worried me a little.
It worried me even more when he said, “And Corry was under your watch when he bought dope. Whatcha think the judge would say about that?”
“I’m not having this discussion with you. If you want to take me to court, take me to court, but you are no longer in control of what goes on in my life. I make my own decisions, and they have nothing to do with you. It’s time for you to do the same.”
“Remember what I said. Keep your garbage away from my kids.”
I wasn’t surprised when he hung up. It was what he did when he knew he’d made his point.
I tossed my cell phone down on my desk, and it was all I could do to keep myself from screaming.
I might’ve been divorced from him, but I would never truly be free of him or his controlling ways—and neither would my boys.