Chapter 16
Frankie
“It’s important for you to set clear expectations for Corry, and if he fails to meet those expectations, there should be clear and set consequences. It helps set boundaries and provides structure, which is something both you and Corry need. It helps you both know where you stand.”
“I understand.” Corry and I had met with Dr. Archer together several times over the past few weeks.
Dr. Archer thought it would help Corry through some of the hardships that came with having PTSD.
I understood Corry’s anxiety. I had my own issues with that, but the fact that he was withdrawing and avoiding contact with others was concerning to me.
I’d brought that to Dr. Archer’s attention, along with how I was worried about the horrible state of Corry’s room and how concerned I was he might be using again.
I felt like all of it together showed his state of mind wasn’t in a good place.
I desperately wanted to make things better for Corry, so I did my best to take his advice to heart. “I can definitely work on that.”
“You are a people pleaser, Frankie. Part of that is just your nature, but some of that comes from the abuse you sustained during your marriage. You said yourself you did everything you could to appease your ex-husband in hopes that it would prevent a blowup. While it might be beneficial to others, that kind of mindset can make things very difficult for you.”
I didn’t respond. Instead, I glanced over at Corry as I his words sink in for a moment.
My son looked like he was a million miles away as Dr. Archer said, “I know you struggle with how hard your ex-husband was on your boys, and you often take it easier on them because of it. You have to remember there’s a fine line between making things easier for your kids and failing to give them the discipline they need to thrive. ”
While it wasn’t easy to hear, I knew he was right.
I always tried to make things easier for not only the boys but everyone in my life—sometimes to a fault.
I’d often sacrifice my own happiness to make things better for someone else, and that wasn’t good for anyone, especially me.
I nodded as I told him, “You’re right. I need to do better about that.
I need to set firmer rules and stick to them. ”
“I know it isn’t easy, but it will make your life much easier if you do.” His tone waivered with uncertainty as he said, “And if at all possible, those same rules and expectations should apply when he’s with his father. I know that can be difficult.”
“Very.”
“Dad should have his own rules and expectations,” Corry grumbled. “Maybe then he wouldn’t blow up on me for every stupid thing I do.”
“I agree.” I shook my head and sighed. “There’s not much I can do about that though.”
Corry glared at me as he snapped, “You could make it where I don’t have to go over there.”
“It wasn’t my choice, Corry.” I felt so helpless as I told him, “It was court- ordered.”
“Yeah, but you could make the judge change that,” Corry huffed. “I bet if he knew how Dad was always threatening to knock my teeth out of my head, he would change his mind about making me go.”
“Maybe.” I’d hoped that the anger management classes would’ve done more to help Marc with his temper.
Even though he’d hit Corry and hurt him physically, I knew the verbal abuse was just as detrimental—if not more.
It certainly had been for me. “I think it’s time to see about taking him back to court. ”
“It won’t do any good. We’re stuck with him.”
“It’s worth a try.”
“If you decide to go that route, I will be glad to attend mediation,” Dr. Archer offers. I will let them know about my concerns.”
“Okay. I’d appreciate that.”
Dr. Archer doodled on his notepad once more, then shifted his attention to me. “You mentioned you were concerned Corry was still using marijuana?”
“Yes, I am.” I turned to Corry and studied him for a moment. “But honestly, I’m not sure if he is. It’s so hard to tell. I mean, I didn’t even know he was using until I got the call from the police officer.”
Again, Dr. Archer scribbled something on his notepad as he asked, “Have you considered testing him?”
“Yes, but I’ve been a little hesitant to try it.”
“And why is that?”
“I don’t want him to feel like I don’t trust him,” I admitted.
Archer’s brows furrowed. “Can you trust him?”
“For the most part.” I glanced over at my sullen child as I explained, “But there are times when I don’t think he’s being fully honest with me, and I can’t always trust him to do what he is told.”
“Considering his situation with his friends, there’s a good chance they will ask him to use with them again.
If he’s being tested, he can use it as an excuse not to use.
” Dr. Archer turned to Corry as he told him, “You can just tell them you can’t.
That your Mom is drug testing you, and if you come up positive, you’ll be in a heap of trouble. ”
Corry didn’t respond. He just rolled his eyes and stared up at the ceiling—which I thought was a good indication that Dr. Archer was right.
His buddies were still trying to get him to use with them.
I knew it was Corry’s choice whether or not he agreed to go along with them, but I hoped the drug testing would help alleviate some of the temptation.
I looked back to Dr. Archer as I told him, “I think it’s worth a try. ”
“I definitely think so.” Archer stood as he told us, “Well, that’s about all the time we have for today. I have Corry down for next Tuesday at four.”
“Okay, great.” Corry and I stood, and as we started out of the room, I said, “Thank you for meeting with both of us today.”
“I think it went very well.”
“Me too.”
Corry didn’t say a word as we walked out of the office and headed to the car. He maintained his silence as we got in the car and started home. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah, I’m good.”
“Are you sure?”
“Um-hmm.”
While he hadn’t admitted it, I knew he was frustrated.
It was written all over his face. I’d hoped he’d open up to me a little and tell me what was on his mind, but like always, he kept it all bottled up inside.
I could’ve pushed and tried to convince him that he could talk to me, but I knew him well enough to know I needed to give him some time.
He needed a chance to think about everything we’d talked about with Archer, so I didn’t say anything to him when we got home.
I simply watched as he went into his room and closed the door, shutting me and the rest of the world out.
He stayed there for most of the night, only coming out to eat a bite of dinner.
When it came time for bed, I decided to go in and check on him.
I tapped on his door, then eased it open.
Corry was sprawled out on his bed watching videos on his phone.
As I started over to him, I said, “I just wanted to come tell you good night.”
“Night.”
I leaned down and kissed him on the forehead. “I love you, Corry Sullivan. I love you more than you could possibly know.”
“I love you, too.”
“I’m really sorry things are so hard with your father. I’d hoped they’d get easier, but maybe it is time for us to talk about taking him back to court.”
“Nah, we don’t have to do that yet.” Corry glanced up at me as he said, “I can handle Dad.”
“I know you can. I just hate you have to.” My heart ached with a feeling of helplessness.
I wanted so much to take my child’s pain away.
I wanted to make things easier for him, but sadly, that power had been taken out of my hands.
This was his journey to take, and he had to find the strength in himself to see it through.
I gave his forearm a light squeeze as I told him, “Think on it, and remember, I’m always here if you need me. ”
“I know.”
“Good. Now, get some sleep. We have to get up early in the morning.”
“Okay.” As I started out of his room, I heard him say, “Love ya, Mom.”
“Love you, too!”
While our conversation was brief at best, I felt better as I walked out of his room and closed the door.
I knew Corry and Sean had a long road ahead of them with their father, and even though I knew it wouldn’t be easy, I truly believed they would not only get through it, but they’d be better off for doing so.
There was some good in Marc. It was often difficult to see, but I wouldn’t have married him if I hadn’t seen it in him.
I certainly wouldn’t have had children with him.
I just hoped he’d let go of the hate and anger he had for me long enough to show the boys that side of him was still there.
I knew Marc was still holding on to a lot of animosity for me, but I didn’t realize how much until the following afternoon when he showed back up at the coffee shop.
We were just slowing down from the lunch rush when he came waltzing in. When he made it over to the counter, I asked, “Did Sean forget something else?”
“No.” He looked around at all the customers and grumbled, “I was hoping we’d have a minute alone.”
“Sorry. Sydney had an errand to run, so it’s just me here. What did you need?”
“We need to finish the conversation we started yesterday.”
“What conversation?”
“The one about you and your new friend.” Marc took another glance around before sitting down on one of the stools at the counter. “I’d hoped you were just going through some kind of phase, but clearly, that isn’t the case.”
“What are you talking about?”
“You know damn well what I’m talking about!” His nostrils flared as he whispered, “You and that damn biker fella.”
“I don’t see why that’s any of your business, Marc.”
“If it concerns you, then hell yes, it’s my business. You’re my wife!”
“Ex-wife, Marc.” I wasn’t sure if what he’d said was intentional or not. Not that it mattered. He was way off base, so I crossed my arms and looked him dead in the eye. “I’ve been your ex-wife for over two years now, or have you forgotten?”