Prologue
My brother, Camden, and I might’ve been twins, but we were complete opposites. I was all muscle and brawn with a fiery temper, while he was intelligent and athletic and had an irresistible charm that made him the legendary “boy next door.”
I was into the thrill of Talladega Speedway.
Camden was all about college football.
I loved motorcycles.
He was into the classics, especially our dad’s old Mustang. However, we had one thing in common—one thing that prevented us from fighting at every turn—our best friend and neighbor, Mia Richardson.
We were ten when Mia moved in next door, and from the second we laid eyes on her, we were both hooked. She was tall and slender with long, straight, jet-black hair and the bluest eyes either of us had ever seen, but it was her smile that knocked us both right on our asses.
I don’t know how it happened, but the three of us clicked in a way that didn’t make sense to anyone—not even us.
I couldn’t explain it—at least not where anyone would really understand.
Our lives were like an ultimate cheesy chick flick where the guy and girl were best friends and spent every waking moment together.
There was lots of laughing and sappy, sentimental moments and senseless teenage fighting, lighthearted makeups, and everything in between.
That was us—except it wasn’t just one guy and one girl.
It was the three of us.
Mia, Camden, and me.
We were a disaster waiting to happen, but none of us seemed to notice or care.
Mia and I shared a few intimate moments—a drunken kiss or two, an admittance of feelings while under the influence; I was always hopeful that there’d be more between us but never pushed. I figured the same thing had happened between her and Camden.
I’d seen the way she looked at him and the way he looked at her.
But we never talked about it. None of us did.
One would’ve thought our mutual affection for the same woman could’ve driven a wedge between two brothers, but for some strange reason, it didn’t.
It was as if she was the glue that held us together—until one decision destroyed everything we had.
Things started to change when we graduated high school.
Unlike Camden and Mia, I hadn’t enrolled in college or had a career mapped out for myself. In fact, I had no plan at all. On the other hand, my brother knew exactly what he wanted to do from start to finish, and I envied him for that.
I took some time to consider my options, and after a lengthy discussion with my father, he suggested that I join the military. At first, I thought he was crazy, but then I thought about Mia.
The way she looked at Camden was filled with intrigue and pride whenever he talked about becoming a lawyer. I wanted her to look at me like that. Not him.
The following day I took the ASVAB and the physical exam. When I met with the career counselor, I learned that I had scored high enough to enlist in not only the Army but every branch of the military and had various choices in careers—something I hadn’t expected after my experience in high school.
I waited until the last minute to tell Mia about my decision to join the Army, not because I was afraid she’d change my mind; I didn’t want her to worry about me during her last few days of summer break.
I was helping her put her beach bag in the back of Camden’s car when I finally said, “I got somethin’ to tell ya. ”
“Okay?” She turned to face me. “What is it?”
“I’ve decided to enlist.”
“What?”
“I’m joining the Army.”
“The Army? Where is this coming from?”
“You and Camden both have your college thing. Figure it’s time for me to have something of my own.”
“You’ve never even mentioned joining the military before.”
“Doesn’t mean I haven’t been thinking about it.”
Mia studied me for a moment like she was searching for the right words but couldn’t find them.
I had no idea what was going through that pretty little head of hers, but I knew it wasn’t good.
She was freaking out, and I had no idea what to say to set her mind at ease.
After several minutes, she finally muttered, “I want you to do what makes you happy, but I don’t like the idea of you going off to the military. ”
“What do you expect me to do, Mia? Work at the hardware store for the rest of my life?”
“I don’t see why not. You like working there.”
I shook my head. “Yeah, but it doesn’t pay shit. I’ll never be able to afford—”
I was about to say something I feared I’d regret, so I quickly clamped my mouth shut and stared down at the laces on my boots. Mia stepped closer, and the tone in her voice gutted me as she whispered, “What will I do without you around? You’re the only one who keeps me sane.”
“Oh, come on. You can still hang with Camden.” I gave her a reassuring wink. “Besides, you’ll be leaving for school in a couple of days anyway and won’t even know I’m gone.”
“That’s not true, and you know it,” she fussed. “I’ll miss you all the time, and if you’re off somewhere in the Army, I’ll never get to see you.”
“I’ll get to come home on leave ... And I’ll call, and we can write to each other.”
“You write?” she scoffed. “That’s a good one.”
“I’ll write, I promise, and you better write me back.”
“Of course, I will.” Tears filled her eyes. “What if you’re deployed and something happens to you?”
“Don’t do that. Nothing’s gonna happen to me, Mia.”
“You don’t know that. Crazy things happen all the time. I couldn’t take it if—”
Before she could finish her thought, Camden came barreling out the back door with a cooler in one hand and his sunglasses in the other. He walked up and threw his arm over Mia’s shoulder and asked, “Everything okay over here?”
“Thatcher’s just informed me that he’s decided to join the Army.”
“Oh, he finally got around to telling ya, huh?”
She whipped around to Camden with furrowed brows. “You knew and didn’t say anything?”
“Don’t go gettin’ riled up at me! It wasn’t my place to tell.” Camden took a step back with a scolding look. “Besides, this is good news. Thatch has finally found his thing.”
“So, you’re okay with this?”
“Hell, yeah.” I was surprised by the encouraging tone in my brother’s voice.
After four years at MTSU, he had plans to attend Belmont Law School.
Once he was done, he’d be well on his way to becoming some fancy-assed lawyer, so I would’ve thought he’d snub his nose at my choice of joining the military.
Thankfully, he didn’t. A proud smile crossed his face as he looked over to me and announced, “I think it’s great. ”
Stunned, Mia studied Camden for a moment, then turned her attention back to me. “Are you sure about this?”
“I wouldn’t have enlisted if I wasn’t.” I reached over and gave her one of my brotherly hugs, then said, “Those beers aren’t gonna get any colder. Now, get your ass in the car.”
We had a great time out on the lake. There was no talk of the Army or college.
It was just a day of enjoying each other’s company under the sun with a few beers and good music.
When it came time to call it a day, we loaded up and headed back to the house.
Before going home, Mia wrapped her arms around me and hugged me tightly.
Damn. Just like I knew it would—her body felt fucking incredible next to mine.
With her mouth close to my ear, she whispered, “I’m going to miss you, Thatch.”
“Gonna miss you, too.”
“Promise me you’ll write.”
“As often as I can.”
“Good.” She gave me another tight squeeze, her voice trembling like she’d started to cry. “Take care of yourself and come home safe.”
“You know I will.”
She wouldn’t even look at me as she turned and ran to her house.
The next morning, I got up early to see Mia off to college, but she was already gone.
I hated that I didn’t have a chance to give her a final goodbye, but fortunately, I didn’t have much time to dwell on it.
The following day I was off to Fort Jackson, South Carolina, for basic training.
It was only six weeks, but it was fucking hell. Thankfully, I had Mia’s letters to help me see it through. She sent one every fucking day. She’d tell me all about her day at MTSU, and I’d keep my promise and write her about my experiences at Fort Jackson.
It seemed I’d barely blinked before I was packing up my shit and moving to Fort Sill, Oklahoma. AIT was an entirely different beast. I felt like I could actually breathe for the first time in six weeks and talk to Mia and my family on the phone.
I wasn’t shy about admitting that I missed her.
Hell, I mentioned it all the fucking time, and she did the same with me.
I wanted nothing more than to see her, take her in my arms, and finally confess exactly how much she meant to me.
Unfortunately, that wasn’t going to happen—at least, not any time soon.
I was stationed too far away for my weekend passes to do me any fucking good. Mia and Camden both had classes of their own, and neither could really afford to fly out to Oklahoma for such a short visit.
I tried not to let it get to me, but fuck, I went from seeing and talking to Mia all the time to not seeing her at all, and that shit was hard.
I missed her. Hell, I even missed Camden, and that was saying something.
I continued to write, but Mia’s letters and calls became less and less frequent, and when they did come, they weren’t as personal or heartfelt as they used to be. She was pulling away.
By the time the forty weeks of AIT were finally over, and graduation was done, I was more than ready to get home. I thought it would give me a chance to see her and fix the distance that settled between us. Unfortunately, that didn’t happen.
Upon my arrival, Mom and Dad were more than ready to celebrate my arrival. Mia and Camden, on the other hand, were not. In fact, they weren’t there at all.
They both called with some lame excuses of papers that were due, sorority mixers, and other dumb shit that didn’t seem nearly as important as my being home for the first time in almost a year. I decided to let it ride, thinking that maybe they’d find a way to get home before I left.
They didn’t.
I wasn’t stupid.
I knew something was up with them.
I just hated that I was being deployed to Haiti without having the chance to talk to Mia. It just didn’t seem right. Luckily, I didn’t have time to dwell on it.
The second my unit landed in Haiti, my life descended into utter chaos and remained that way for months.
But my world stopped turning the second I got her letter.
Consumed with dread, I held it in my hands for over an hour, just staring at the damn thing. I knew in my gut that everything would change as soon as I read what was inside.
Eventually, I forced myself to rip open the envelope and pulled out the letter.
I was right.
I’d lost her.
The only woman I’d ever loved—the only woman I would ever love—was engaged to my brother.
I was hurt, angry, and everything in between. I second-guessed every decision I’d ever made up until that point. Deep down, I knew it was a waste of time and energy. There was no going back. It was done.
Mia had made her choice.
It wasn’t me.
End of story.