33. Mia
“Ugh,” I wiped my mouth with a wet cloth and flushed the toilet, the evidence of my sickness swirling down the bowl. Sweat beaded my brow. I shuffled back to the bedroom and flopped on the bed, my stomach roiling. I closed my eyes to gain some equilibrium, I needed to brush my teeth too, but I didn’t have the energy to stand and do it. I just wanted to sleep.
Exhaustion had been weighing me down over the past few weeks. I found myself sleeping in longer than I normally did, and the minute I rose, I retched.
I wasn’t a fucking idiot. I just chose to plead ignorance a little longer, hoping for gastroenteritis along the way.
“How are you feeling?” Millie sat on the edge of the bed, resting her hand along my cheek. “You don’t have a temperature, Mia, but I think you should see a doctor anyway. You keep vomiting.”
Her concern was sweet. I offered what passed for a smile, but felt more like a grimace. “I probably just ate something that didn’t agree with me, it’ll pass soon.” It always did. It wasn’t called ‘morning sickness’ for nothing. Like clockwork, as soon as lunchtime hit, my nausea disappeared. It was uncanny, which is why I suspected it in the first place. No way would a bug be so convenient. “Don’t tell Rex, he’ll just worry and he has enough to be bothered about right now.” The lie fell from my dry lips, but my sister accepted it without argument, before leaving me to my misery.
We’d been so careful. No contraception was fool proof, I knew it, but we’d fucked like rabbits, not a night went past where he wasn’t inside me at least once.
He’d even started carrying condoms in his pocket just in case he came and found me during the day.
My mouth tasted like crap and I grabbed the glass of water on the nightstand to try and rinse the rank vomit flavor away. I hated being sick. I was the worst patient, and despised being laid up, needing to do things myself.
Oh God, what the hell was I going to tell Rex? He’d think I did it on purpose. “Fuck, fuck, fuck.” Pushing my face into the pillow, I screamed, the muffled sound barely recognizable.
This entire trip was turning into one big clusterfuck. Tears pricked behind closed lids, spilling out to wet the pillow beneath me. I didn’t want this. We hadn’t talked about what would happen once this mess had been sorted out, he never raised the subject of me staying here since I told him last time that we were just a fling. I didn’t expect him to either, he was a prideful man, I’d come to know that much about him at least.
I needed to get a pregnancy test first, and decide what I was going to do after. My belly rolled, nerves this time making me feel ill. Sitting down with Rex and telling him that I was accidentally pregnant with his baby had the nausea rising and I gritted my teeth against the sickness.
I wanted to go home and see my dad, feel his comforting arms around me and let me know that everything would be ok, the way he used to do when I was a kid. He would be so disappointed in me. I was supposed to be the good kid, the one that did everything by the book, made smart choices… now look at me.
The hair on the back of my neck stood on end as I saw shadows by the door. Low voices outside were muffled by the space between us, but I recognized Rex’s deep tone. Scrubbing across my eyes with my sleeve, I tried to remove the tracks of tears, wiping away the evidence of my sadness before he came in and asked questions.
Pulling the cover above my head, I did the only thing I could to keep the secret I was harboring a secret for just a little bit longer—I hid. The blanket smothered all evidence of my symptoms, and like the grown up I am, I didn’t care about burying my problems beneath a fluffy camouflage.
His footsteps were dampened by the carpet, but I knew the minute he stopped beside the bed, his presence a living entity in the bedroom. “What are you doing, princess?” His heavy weight pressed down on me, pinning me beneath him and the blanket.
“Mmfffffmm.”
“I don’t know what the fuck you’re saying, woman.” He laughed above me, dragging the blanket down until he slowly revealed me underneath. His laughter froze when he saw me, his concern in his lowering brows. “What’s wrong? Have you been crying?” Rex sat up quickly, pulling me up, cradling my upper body in his arms. The quick movement had me wanting to retch. Quickly, I buried my head in his chest to hide my pale face and dry-heaving, breathing in his clean smell of leather and citrus.
“Mia…”
“I’m fine,” I sniffed. “I just… miss home.” Lies were coming easier and easier, the acidic taste in my mouth a symbol for the untruth that spilled from my lips.
Rex’s hand stroked my hair in one long caress, down my spine and back up again. The soothing motion dried my tears and comforted the emotional wreck that I was. My heart swelled for the man that offered solace in my time of need. Flashes of him cradling a bundle to his chest sent a twinge of longing through my already aching heart.
“Maybe your parents can visit?” he muttered into my hair. “I have a house, there are tenants in it at the moment, but I can get rid of them…”
“My dad and his wife… Millie’s mum, not mine.” I buried in closer to him, tucking my cheek against his chest, the strong thud of his heart resounding in my ear. “Dad cheated on my mum with her. I’ve never really had much to do with her, I mostly ignored her growing up. Anyway, she has so many health issues, she wouldn’t travel and Dad would only come here for a short period of time.” I sighed. My feelings for the woman were pretty ambivalent. She’d never been horrible to me, but she was always the ‘other woman’, and I couldn’t resign her to anything else. My lips parted to say more, wanting to spill everything to him, but I froze in his arms. Scared of ruining this moment with him, scared of ruining this… thing that we were slowly building.
It had been a matter of weeks, but already the thought of not waking up next to him sent a cold shiver down my spine. Missing his jokes, missing his comfort; not having this intimacy each day seemed unfathomable.
“Maybe we should just stay like this all day,” I whispered. “We can play… what do you call it in America? Hooky?”
Rex burst out laughing, squeezing me to him. “I love it when you talk dirty to me.”
Distracted, he stripped out of his cut, but he was smart and I don’t think the promise of sex was going to keep him preoccupied for long. Sooner or later, I’d have to tell him.
But for today, we could stay wrapped up in our bubble for a little longer.