3. Clara
Chapter Three
CLARA
I’ve been trapped inside this room for what feels like days, but something tells me it’s only been a few hours. There’s no window, and the constant darkness is making time feel like it’s stopped altogether.
The cold has settled deep in my bones, making my limbs stiff and my fingers numb. My stomach cramps with hunger, and my throat is raw from thirst.
The one silver lining is that my lack of water intake has meant I’m yet to use the bucket, though somehow the room still smells of urine.
The only sound is that of my own breathing, uneven and shallow, and the occasional distant thud of footsteps beyond the door.
I lie down on the lumpy mattress in the hopes of sleeping to give me some reprieve from this nightmare, but I’m scared to close my eyes.
Ben hasn’t been back, and I’m starting to wonder if I hallucinated the entire thing.
The fact that Tommaso helped him escape from prison makes me sick to my stomach. Surely, prison is better than being in debt to a man like Tommaso?
The sound of footsteps approaching pulls me out of my thoughts.
I try to hold back the tears as the door unlocks, knowing whoever is on the other side is likely not here to save me.
When the door opens and the room floods with light, I flinch at the sight of my brother.
He looks just as pissed as he did earlier, though the one difference is that this time, he’s brought something with him.
Ben stalks inside the cell carrying a small plastic bag.
I eye it warily and when he tosses it onto the mattress beside me, I flinch as if a grenade were inside.
“Eat.”
I inhale and hold back a moan at the scent of greasy food.
It smells amazing, and my stomach clenches painfully, but I make no move to reach for the food. Not when I don’t trust him not to poison it.
Ben sees my hesitation and rolls his eyes. “I’m not going to fucking drug you, Clara.”
Does he really expect me to believe him?
When I still don’t reach for the food, he lets out an irritated sigh and grabs the bag back and pulls out a sandwich.
He unwraps it and without hesitation, takes a bite.
I watch him closely to make sure he swallows it just to be safe.
“There, happy?” He tosses the sandwich at me.
I am anything but happy, but my stomach aches with hunger, so I snatch the sandwich and tear into it like an animal.
I don’t have it in me to feel embarrassed about how disgusting and unladylike I must look, not when I haven’t eaten in what feels like days.
I keep my eyes on Ben as I eat, trying to understand his plan.
He’s had two opportunities now to kill me, and yet he hasn’t. Instead, he brought me food, which I have a feeling goes against Tommaso’s orders.
There has to be a reason, and I have a feeling it’s not a good one.
“Just ask.” Ben leans against the wall of the cell, folding his arms over his chest.
He’s wearing a tight-fitting black t-shirt which shows off his muscular arms and shoulders, and dark jeans. Other than the short hair, he doesn’t look like someone who just escaped from a federal prison.
“What are you doing?”
He raises his eyebrows at me. “Nothing?”
“You broke out of a federal prison.”
“I’m aware.”
“Surely, every cop in the state is going to be out looking for you. How exactly are you planning on not getting caught?”
Ben says nothing as he keeps his gaze fixed on the wall opposite him. Though the way the muscle in his jaw ticks lets me know that I’m hitting a nerve.
“I mean, I’m aware that this Tommaso is a powerful guy, but surely he’s not that powerful?—”
“My plans are none of your business. You cut me out of your life, remember?”
I put the sandwich down, swallowing the lump in my throat.
It’s hard not to think of what our life could have been like if Ben had gone down a different path. Maybe we could have had a relationship like Marco and Rosa. Zoe could have grown up with another uncle, perhaps even have had cousins on my side of the family.
There were so many different roads, and yet he chose the one that caused us both the most pain.
I shouldn’t feel guilty for cutting him out after what he did, but I do.
He’s right. I am the one who walked away, who severed any last threads of the relationship that we had.
I would be lying if I didn’t question whether or not I make the right choice. I wonder if Marco would have made the same choice if it were Andre? They have a fierce bond, one that is almost deeper than blood.
Would it have been enough to make him ignore his brother’s betrayal?
“You didn’t leave me with a choice. The people you got mixed up with…” I shake my head as my throat becomes too thick with emotion to speak.
A hysterical laugh escapes Ben’s lips as he looks at me, his green eyes flashing.
“See, that’s fucking hilarious, considering who your boyfriend is, Clara.” He points a finger right at me. “He’s a murderer, and yet you’d protect him .”
“That’s different…” I put the sandwich wrapper back in the bag.
“How?”
I bite down on my lower lip to keep myself from crying.
I don’t want to talk about Marco with Ben in case he uses it against me. For all I know, Marco is on his way here right now, and I need to make sure he has every advantage possible if he’s to survive Tommaso.
He scoffs when I don’t reply. “You’re such a fucking hypocrite. You protect that murderous piece of shit, but I’m the one you walk away from? I’m you’re fucking brother?—”
“It’s not just about him.” The words spill from my lips before I have a chance to stop them.
“Then what’s it about?”
“It’s about the child that we share. I won’t have her growing up without her parents, I just won’t.”
Ben looks like he’s about to be sick at the mention of Zoe.
I thought he would have known about the child I share with Marco, considering the fact that Tommaso kidnapped Zoe, but maybe he’s more in the dark than he realizes.
I brace myself for an explosion of anger. I know I should have kept quiet about Zoe, but a small part of me was curious as to whether Ben would back down at the mention of my daughter, his niece.
But from the way his body is practically vibrating with rage, I know I made the wrong call.
“So, the fucker can procreate, big deal. It doesn’t change the fact that he kills people for a living.” His voice is laced with venom.
I hate the way he’s talking about Marco, like he’s no better than the animal he’s working for.
I lift my chin as I look at my older brother. “The difference is Marco protects the people he loves.”
Ben scoffs. “Right. Because murder is okay as long as it’s for the right reasons?”
I don’t answer. I don’t need to, not when I know in my heart that Marco would never abandon me.
He would never betray me, never sell me out to save his own skin. Not like Ben.
He left me and Mom when we needed him most, stabbed her in the back when she was dying, and yet somehow thought I would look past his betrayal just because we’re blood.
But the pain I feel because of him has only worsened with time, and I don’t think there’s any chance of us getting back what we once had.
A part of me has spent years trying to rationalize it.
Ben was just desperate, got mixed up with the wrong people and didn’t think there was a way out. But at the end of the day, he made a choice. It’s just a shame it was the wrong one.
There’s no point trying to convince Ben that Marco is different. It will only upset him.
As long as I know that Marco loves me and will do anything to protect me and Zoe, that’s what counts.
But I do need to keep Ben talking. My only hope is that he lets something slip that I can use to convince him working for Tommaso isn’t his only option.
“What was prison like?” I reach into the bag for the second sandwich.
The food sits heavy in my stomach, but I’m yet to feel satisfied.
Ben lets out a bitter laugh. “What do you think it was like?”
I picture him in a cell, completely alone and helpless. I look around my own cell and feel a pang of guilt.
It’s not so different from where I am now, and a tiny part of me, the part that remembers the brother I used to have, feels bad for him.
But then I remember the look in our mom’s eyes when she found out her son had stolen the last of her money, and the guilt vanishes.
I can still hear the sounds of her agony as she realized she would never get the chance to tell him goodbye, to forgive him even though he didn’t deserve it.
Whatever sympathy I have for Ben dies right then and there.
Our mother was already suffering enough, and he only amplified her pain, which is not something I can ever forgive.
Ben’s phone pings, slicing through the silence.
My heart stops as I watch Ben reach for into his pocket.
All this time, he had a phone, a link to the outside world, to Marco. If he really wanted to, he could call Marco and warn him to stay away, and yet he hasn't, which tells me that he hasn’t changed at all.
Ben glances at the screen and frowns. “I have to go.”
He stalks from the room, slamming the door shut behind him without so much as a look back.
Within a second, I went from being the one who betrayed him to no longer existing.
“Fuck you.” I launch the sandwich across the room, my appetite suddenly gone.
Seeing Ben has only reminded me of what I lost.
I wish my mom was still alive, not just for me but for Zoe. She would have loved her more than life, and I hate that she was ripped of the chance of ever meeting her granddaughter.
I let out a shaky breath and wipe at my face with trembling fingers. I can’t believe I still have tears left to cry but somehow, I do.
For so long, I had no family, and then I met Marco and everything changed. Being welcomed into his family is everything I had dreamed of, and I can only hope that I get the chance to see them all again.
I close my eyes and play through the memories that Zoe and I created over the past few weeks.
Tears stream down my face as I remember the sound of Holly’s laugh as she played with Zoe in the pool, the sight of her sleeping on Marco’s chest as they lay in bed in the morning.
We didn’t get enough time. This can’t be the end of?—
The door slams against the wall, and my eyes fly open, my stomach bottoming out when I realize who stands before me.
The very man who promised that no harm would come to my daughter if I brought Marco to him.
Tommaso.
A smile stretches across his face, revealing his yellowing teeth.
“It’s showtime.”