7. Clara
Chapter Seven
CLARA
I pace the room for what feels like the hundredth time, my mind running wild as I wait for Marco to get home.
The longer I put off telling him the truth about Ben, the worse this is going to get, especially if he hears it from someone else.
Because if there’s one thing Marco hates, it’s lies.
And I’m standing in the middle of one so big I don’t know how I haven’t suffocated under the weight of it.
I just need to rip off the band aid and hope he can forgive me. Because if he doesn’t, I’m not sure what I’ll do.
As I stand at the window beside Zoe’s crib, I look down at the driveway waiting for his car to appear.
My stomach twists as I glance over at our daughter sleeping in her crib. God, how I envy her innocence.
I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to sleep peacefully again. Even if Marco and I manage to get past this mess with Ben, it won’t be enough to make me forget what’s happened.
Alio lying dead on the floor.
Tommaso’s feral smile.
Zoe’s empty crib.
It’s been one nightmare after another and next time, we might not be so lucky. At some point, I’m going to have to decide whether loving Marco is worth the risk to Zoe’s life.
The distant rumble of an engine gets my attention, and I look back out of the window to see Marco’s car speeding down the drive, kicking up a cloud of dust in its wake.
This is it.
Zoe stirs in her crib, making a soft little noise before rolling over and settling again.
I wish I could scoop her up and hold her tight, but it would be wrong to use her as some kind of shield. Marco deserves my full attention when I tell him the truth.
I force myself to stay by the crib as I listen to the sound of his heavy footsteps heading up the stairs, knowing he’s coming to check on me like he always does.
Marco has been everything I didn’t know I needed, and how do I repay him? By lying to him.
A sob builds in my throat, but I force it down as the door swings open. But when Marco appears and I take in the look on his face, all the air leaves my lungs.
He knows.
I knew this was going to be bad, but I didn’t expect him to look at me like that . There’s not just anger in his dark eyes, but something much worse.
Betrayal.
My throat goes dry, but before he can speak, I glance at Zoe and press a finger to my lips. “Not here.”
He nods stiffly, jerking his head toward the door. “Come on.” His voice cuts like ice.
I follow him out of the room and down the corridor. My legs feel like they’re going to give out beneath me as I walk, and my stomach is twisting in knots so tight I’m sure I’m going to be sick.
Marco leads me into Andre’s office, and the second the door shuts behind us, he turns to face me with nothing but venom in his eyes.
“When were you going to tell me he’s your goddamned brother?”
I flinch at his tone, though it’s no less than I deserve.
I open my mouth to reply, to explain everything, but nothing comes out. The words are lodged in my throat, choking me as I stare into Marco’s eyes.
The muscle in his jaw ticks. “You better start talking.”
I start to shatter as he looks at me like I’m nothing more than a stranger.
This is so much worse than I feared, and I’m not sure there’s anything I can say that could fix this.
I might have broken us beyond repair.
My eyes start to sting with tears. “I-I wanted to tell you, Marco, I swear, I just… I didn’t know how.”
“Didn’t know how?” He laughs, though the sound is bitter and cold. “Christ, Clara. You didn’t know how? That’s really all you’ve got?”
His jaw tightens as he clenches his hands into fists as his sides. The movement catches my attention, and that’s when I notice he’s bleeding.
“Marco, you’re hurt,” I gasp.
Blood drips onto the carpet, but Marco doesn’t seem to care. Instead, he stalks over to the drinks cart and picks up a decanter filled with honey-colored liquid.
“Maybe you could have mentioned it before he helped ‘kidnap’ you.”
I blink.
He thinks I was working with Ben?
My knees threaten to buckle beneath me, so I grab onto the back of one of the armchairs to keep myself upright.
“No, Marco, it’s not like that, I swear. I didn’t know he was involved with Tommaso.”
Marco pours a drink. “How fucking convenient.”
My heart is beating so fast in my chest, and a thin sheen of sweat is starting to coat the back of my neck.
I’m losing him all over again.
“When I found out, I was going to tell you as soon as we got back here, I swear. ”
“You swear you were going to tell me so many things, Clara. And yet, I never ever find the truth from you until I force it out of you.”
Tears start to blur my vision. “Please, Marco, you have to believe me.”
Marco downs his drink before slamming the glass down on the cart.
I hold my breath as he walks over to me.
But when he doesn’t stop, I instinctively move back until I hit the wall.
He’s so close that the heat radiating from his body is enough to scorch me, his breath tickles my cheek.
Twenty-four hours ago, I would have given anything to be this close to him. I found comfort in his strength.
But now I fear it.
“So, what is this, then?” His face is barely an inch from mine. “Is this some kind of setup?”
“Setup?”
“Are you working with him? With them ?”
His words are like a slap to the face.
I blink up at him, completely stunned. “H-how can you even think that?”
“Quite easily.”
I’m going to be sick. “Marco, I love you.” I reach for him, but he recoils from my touch.
I choke back a sob as my legs give out beneath me, and I sink to the floor, unable to keep myself together any longer.
I can’t breathe.
The tears fall hard and fast, and I can’t stop them. “I would never hurt you. Never. And I didn’t plan any of this. Ben…I cut him out of my life years ago. Please, you have to believe me…” My voice cracks, and I start sobbing.
Marco mutters something under his breath that I can’t quite catch and then, without another word, he storms out of the study, slamming the door behind him.
I press both hands over my face, trying to take a breath, but my chest is too tight.
I have to get out of here.
My body is shaking so much that it takes me a second to get to my feet, but I somehow manage it.
When I open the door to the office and step out into the hall, I collide with Lila.
“Whoa, we should get you a bell or someth?—”
Her eyes widen when she looks at my face. “Clara, what’s going on? Are you okay?”
I shake my head, wiping the back of my hand across my cheek.
I was hoping I would be able to sneak back to my room unnoticed, but now that she’s here, I’m not sure Lila is going to let me go without me telling her what’s wrong.
“No, not really.”
Without hesitation, she loops her arm around my shoulders and leads me toward the stairs. “I’m in the mood for some cocoa with extra marshmallows. Why don’t you join me?”
I don’t have the energy to fight her, so I let Lila guide me down the stairs and into the kitchen.
As we pass the huge windows in the foyer, I glance outside and notice that Marco’s car has already gone.
A strangled sob escapes me, and Lila tightens her arm around my shoulders.
I let Lila sit me down at the table as I continue to sob quietly.
She moves around the kitchen, grabbing a pan and the milk and getting to work making us some cocoa.
Though, even when the sweet smell of chocolate fills the air, it does little to calm me down.
Marco left.
I wrap my arms around myself as tears fall down my cheeks and onto the tablecloth, leaving dark spots in their wake.
How could he think what we had was a lie? That I would use him like that?
The thought makes it feel like my heart is being ripped out of my chest.
I truly believed I had lived through my worst nightmare when Alfonzo took Zoe, and then again when Tommaso held a gun to my head. But this is ten times worse.
“You don’t have to talk about it.” Lila slides an overflowing mug of cocoa across the table toward me before taking a seat. “But if you want to talk, I’m a pretty good listener. Just ask Rosa.”
Maybe it’s the kindness in her voice or the fact that I’m falling apart at the seams and need someone to help me gather up the pieces, but I tell her everything. About Ben, about how I found out he was working with Tommaso, about how I lied to Marco…
Lila listens patiently, her face a mix of sympathy and surprise as I talk. When I eventually finish, she lets out a long breath and offers me a warm smile. “Wow. That’s...a lot.”
“Tell me about it.”
She stirs her cocoa. “You know? I think Andre might be able to help. He’s good at getting Marco to see sense when he’s like this.”
I nod slowly, though at this point, I’m not sure Marco and I can be fixed. “Thanks, but I don’t know if it’ll do any good.” I swipe some whipped cream with my finger and pop it into my mouth.
“It has to be worth trying. You and Marco are meant for each other, Clara. I truly believe that.”
So did I, but now I’m not so sure.
I swallow past the lump in my throat and try to blink back tears.
I appreciate Lila trying to help, but this isn’t the first time I’ve kept something from Marco. Not telling him the truth about Ben might just be the final nail in the coffin.
“Let Andre talk to him, and if that doesn’t work, then Marco will just have to listen to me because there’s no way in hell I’m going to let him throw away the best thing that’s ever happened to him.”
I shake my head. “I already kept Zoe from him, and now this…” I let out a breath. “How is he going to be able to trust me? I wouldn’t if I were him.”
Lila reaches across the table to squeeze my hand. “You can’t think like that.”
“How can I not?”
“You saved us, Clara.” Her voice cracks as her eyes start to glisten. “You’ve proven where your loyalties are. Marco just needs time to remember that.”
Maybe she’s right. Maybe time is the only thing that will fix this.
But right now, time feels like the enemy.