Chapter 20
ANYA
Iwake up feeling warm and happy for the first time in months. Since before my forced engagement to Mikhail, even. My body feels heavy and relaxed in a way it only ever does after really good sex. I stretch carefully, and even the pain in my ribs isn’t so bad. Today already feels like a good day.
My hand drifts to my stomach unconsciously.
A smile breaks out over my face before I can stop it, and I hum happily to myself.
Then I remember that I didn’t fall asleep alone and immediately feel embarrassed.
When I turn my head, though, I’m faced with an empty bed. He must have left while I was asleep.
I didn’t mean to sleep. Before I was shot, I never slept in the daytime. It’s a strange and disorienting feeling, actually. I sit up slowly and try to wake myself up. Damn it, I can’t stop smiling. I shake my head and get up to use the bathroom.
It’s quiet downstairs. Peaceful, almost. For a moment, I imagine what it would be like if every day were like this. If we won the war and I didn’t ever have to worry about Mikhail again. If I stayed with Viktor and woke up every morning in his house. In his bed.
A future flashes in my head before I can stop it.
A cozy house upstate with a big backyard for our baby to play in.
Walking down every morning to find Viktor sitting at the table, drinking his coffee and reading his paper.
Feeling the freedom of knowing that I don’t have to be afraid of the future any longer.
I shake my head and banish the image from my mind. I can’t let myself get carried away right now. There are still a lot of obstacles in between now and then.
I go back down to the kitchen to clean up from my breakfast, and find that everything is already cleaned and put away.
In the absence of something to do, I go to the fridge and pull out a bottle of water.
The cold against my palm steadies me. I take a small sip, then another, and the nausea holds off.
The house feels impossibly big without all the activity. Where is everyone?
I walk toward the living room and pass by the control room.
The door is cracked open, which is unusual in itself.
Viktor is obsessive about his privacy, and he’s obsessive about this room in particular.
He doesn’t leave it open. He doesn’t leave it accessible.
He doesn’t leave anything private unattended.
Curious, I push the door open. He isn’t inside, and I tell myself that I’m just going to check the feeds and see where everyone is. The door to Viktor’s room is shut, and I think maybe he’s up there. Maybe he left my room and went to take a shower or something.
The guards are all stationed where they should be, so there’s no mystery there. It looks like Sergei is at the office. He’s hunched over a desk looking at some paperwork, and he looks stressed.
I look down at the desk and see a smattering of papers in front of me. I’m so curious about what’s going on out there, I just can’t help myself. I check the camera again to make sure Viktor hasn’t left his room. I decide I’ll just have a peek. There’s no harm in that, right?
Except that the first page I find has my name on it. My blood goes cold as my eyes scan the contents.
Anya Malenkova
Under my name is a list of known associates, locations where I used to go when I was free. Pictures of me. There are handwritten notes in the margins, but they’re scribbled so poorly I can barely read them.
My blood runs cold and I try to make sense of what I’m looking at. I flip the page and see the words Malenkov Leverage in big, blocked script.
Under it is a breakdown of my father’s business interests in Brighton. The gambling operation I heard about in passing. The warehouse he quietly backs. The trucking company that moves “legitimate” product and hides the rest under it. A list of men who answer to him and the men those men answer to.
Then, there’s a copy of my wedding announcement. It makes my stomach roil. I flip the page.
Grinkov Counterpressure
My hand trembles slightly as I scan the page. It lists Mikhail’s club names. His shipping routes. His investigators. His weak points. Then there’s a section labeled Trade possibility.
My eyes snag on the first sentence.
If necessary, return her through intermediary to reset board position.
My stomach drops. Heat floods my face so fast it makes my ears ring. I stare at the words until they blur together.
Return her.
Reset board position.
He took me because he wanted to use my body as a bargaining chip between two men who think they own Brooklyn, and he thought he could profit from it.
My throat tightens, and my eyes sting. I blink hard, refusing to let any tears fall.
There’s no date on these pages, so it’s possible he created this plan ages ago.
Things may have changed for him, but it doesn’t change the fact that, at some point, he intended to use me as a pawn, just like my father. Just like Mikhail.
I quickly look up at the monitors again, just in time to see Viktor stepping out of his room. I quickly put the documents back as they were and stumble out of the room, rushing to the living room so I can look casual when he comes down.
I hear his footsteps as he descends the stairs, and then his unsure gait. He must be looking for me. When he appears in the doorway, I pretend to look up in surprise. I feign ignorance because I haven’t had enough time to truly process what I’ve just seen.
“Hey,” he says with a genuine smile on his face.
“Hi,” I answer, trying to keep my tone neutral.
He approaches slowly, then bends down to leave a sloppy, possessive kiss on my lips. I try not to recoil. I try to remind myself that, in his mind, we’ve just had sex and everything is great between us. He has no idea what I’ve just seen.
Still, I can’t stop the instinct to put my hand up and push him away. He takes a step back, cocking his eyebrow at me curiously.
“Sorry,” I lie. “I’m just feeling really nauseous right now. I don’t want to throw up on you.”
He smiles sympathetically and kisses me gently on my forehead. My skin burns at the contact. I wait until he’s turned around to swipe at it.
Only when he’s left the room do I exhale. I try to make any sort of sense of what I read. The rational part of me reminds me that he took me without a plan. Maybe that was just a contingency. Maybe Sergei drafted it.
None of that explains why it was the first thing on top of his desk, though. Why was he looking at it? Is there any part of him that’s still considering using me as leverage?
No, he promised to keep me safe. He promised to keep our child safe. He wouldn’t do that to us. He’d rather die than let his enemy hurt his family.
Then the most horrible thought occurs. He’s lying to me. Oh, he cares about the baby, of course. That doesn’t mean he cares about me. He could just be trying to keep me at ease, to keep me calm so that I don’t put any unnecessary stress on the baby. On his heir.
The thought infuriates me. It terrifies me. I wrap my arms around my waist and hold tight, trying to breathe. A few minutes ago, I was actually picturing a future with this man, but who knows what he’s been imagining?
I am still a contingency to him. Sending me back to Mikhail is still on the table. That’s the only answer here. Unable to control my emotions anymore, and knowing he can see me on the camera, I return to my room and close the door.
The tears start falling the moment the door shuts behind me. I sit on the bed and hug my pillow to my chest. I don’t even care about the pain, it just fuels my anger. I took a bullet for him. I actually put my own life on the line thinking that there was any part of him that cared about me.
I’m such an idiot. No Bratva man is ever going to see me as a human being. They’re never going to value me as a person. I am only a pawn to them, a piece in their never-ending pissing contest. The only one who can change that is me.
Viktor doesn’t get to use me. Neither does my father. Neither does Mikhail. I’m in charge of my own fate, and I’m done letting weak-willed men treat me like an object. For my sake and the sake of this baby, I have to forget any friendliness I shared with Viktor and get the hell away from him.