Chapter 49 Louise
LOUISE
The first bottle of Pappy Van Winkle was emptied before dinner. Ryder brought up another bottle, plus a bottle of red wine, as I plated the cheeseburgers, grilled to perfection on his fancy stove with a grill top.
The house smelled heavenly. Margie had turned on her phone to a dinner-party playlist, because of course, Ryder didn’t have more than a small radio. If anyone noticed that he also didn’t have a television, they didn’t say anything.
Margie’s constant attempts to engage Ryder in flirtation fell flat. Each time, he’d look at me and wink. Eventually, she gave up, sending me a glance that suggested she knew he and I were more than just friends. I shrugged, and she turned her attention to Miles for the evening.
To my shock, Ryder and Austin had taken a liking to each other, engaging in a full-blown adult conversation about Austin’s time in the military. The two were indeed similar, I realized.
It made my heart swell, watching Ryder loosen up, and maybe—just maybe—even have a good time. His hand found my lower back a few times as we cooked, his fingers tangling in my hair as I plated the veggies. I liked it. Loved it. It felt very couple-like, as if we were hosting friends.
Ryder insisted on cleaning up while everyone else indulged in homemade vanilla ice cream. Yes, Ryder made his own ice cream. Between that and the hush puppies, I was now officially in love.
Because of the no-furniture thing, where to sleep was an issue, so we decided to give Margie the master bedroom, and Miles and Austin separate bedrooms. Luckily, Ryder had an entire closet filled with camping gear, which included blow-up mattresses and sleeping bags.
Based on the amount of whiskey both men had consumed, I guessed they’d have been just as comfortable in the driveway.
It was just after midnight by the time everyone retired to their rooms, with Austin having to practically carry Miles to his. The guy couldn’t handle his expensive booze, apparently.
The only question that remained was where Ryder and I were going to sleep.
Lights were turned off, and Ryder grabbed my hand and tugged me across the living room.
“Where are we going?”
“You’ll see.”
He pulled me into the library. The light from the full moon pooled on the floor, streaming through the windows in a silver glow.
“This room is so beautiful.”
I was led to the end of the library, to a small door tucked between two towering bookcases, nearly hidden in the shadows.
Ryder glanced at me with a quiet glint in his eye before reaching for the worn brass handle.
The door opened without a sound, revealing a steep, narrow staircase that spiraled upward like something out of a fairy tale.
The scent of old paper and cedar hung in the air.
My heart fluttered with anticipation—not from fear, but from the sense that I was about to be shown something few had ever seen. Something sacred.
“How many secret rooms do you have in this place?”
“A few.”
Ryder offered me his hand, steady and warm, and together we began to climb. He turned to me just before we reached the top of the stairs.
“Close your eyes.”
“Seriously?”
“Yes.”
Grinning, I squeezed my eyes shut. He caught me peeking through the slits.
“Cheater.”
“Okay, fine.” I slapped my hand over my eyes.
His fingers swept down my arm and wrapped around my free hand. My heartbeat sped up.
“Step,” he said, guiding me. “Step. Again, step. Last one.”
My feet landed on smooth flooring, the faint scent of fresh-cut wood filling my nose. I felt the air change—cooler, thinner, open. Crisp and clean, like snow-dusted cedar and stars.
His hands found my shoulders, steady and deliberate, turning me slowly. Positioning me just right.
“Okay,” he whispered near my ear. “Open.”
I dropped my hand—and my jaw.
The breath caught in my throat.
A glass dome soared above us, enclosing the small round room like a crystal snow globe.
And through it—above it—a galaxy glittered.
A million stars blinked in velvet darkness, so close I felt I could reach up and touch them.
The full moon hung low and luminous, casting a silver glow over everything.
At the front of the room, a sleek telescope sat on a tripod, aimed at the heavens. In the center, a cozy sea of blankets and pillows was arranged with careful disorder, as if waiting for dreams.
“Oh my God, Ryder, it’s… it’s…” Words failed. I could only stare, wonderstruck, a lump in my throat.
“I call it the observation room,” he said, his voice hushed, reverent. “Had it built about six months ago. All the lumber’s from my land. I sleep up here a lot.”
I turned to him, chest aching with something I couldn’t quite name. “I don’t blame you,” I whispered. “It’s magic. I want pictures.”
“There’ll be time for that.” His smile was soft, intimate.
He lowered onto the blankets, repositioning a few to make room. I joined him, sinking into the warmth, the quiet. A long moment passed, the only sound our breathing and the soft creak of the dome against the winter wind.
Then he spoke.
“You know how you said sometimes unexpected blessings can come out of chaos?”
His gaze met mine, the stars reflected in his eyes.
I nodded, too full to speak.
Ryder reached over, threading his fingers through mine.
“That was tonight. For me, with you. When Roman told me about the second boot print, I was halfway out the door, planning to barge into McCord’s office and demand answers.
There was no question. But then, there was you.
And then, when your friends showed up, my immediate response was to slam the door in their faces—but then, there was you.
You handled it. You handled everything, including me and my neurotic self.
You kept me from driving to BSPD and totally losing my cool on the chief—and no telling what else would have happened.
You handled your friends, while also handling my mini-breakdown.
Without you, without everything that has happened,” he tilted his head to the side, “nothing would have changed.”
My hand slid over his. “Do you think there’s any way you can let it go? It’s been twelve years. According to Roman, they tried to find the guy and couldn’t. Twelve years. Can you let it go?”
“Kind of like how you’re letting this whole Kara thing go?”
“Good point.” I sighed. “Maybe I need to let it go too. Not let her go, of course, but leave the investigation to the people who are actually trained to deal with it.”
A moment passed, and Ryder exhaled deeply. “Six months.”
Knowing what he meant, I said, “Six more months of parole. Yes. Then peace, Ryder. Peace. You’re so close. And when that time comes, I hope you will just let everything go. Live on your land, make friends, organize a weekly poker night, try to get back to a normal life. It’s time to let it all go.”
His hand squeezed mine. “My boy would be almost twelve now. Becoming a man.”
“You can still have that,” I whispered. “There’s still hope.”
“I want to have hope.” His voice broke slightly, gaze drifting toward the stars above us. “I want to believe again.”
I reached for him, gently guiding his chin until our eyes met. “Then believe,” I whispered.
This time, I kissed him.
“You,” he whispered between kisses. “You make me crazy, Lou.”
“No. I make you forget,” I whispered back.
He pulled away at the words and stared at me for a moment before crushing his lips again to mine.
He kissed me like he was starved for it.
Like my mouth was the first breath of air after years underwater.
We fell back onto the mountain of blankets, tangled in each other, ravenous.
My sweater and bra were the first to go, ripped up and over my head with zero ceremony.
His mouth found my throat, sucking, biting, soothing with his tongue until my knees went weak.
"God, Lou," he growled, his voice thick and broken as his hand slid beneath the waistband of my jeans. “You're so damn soft everywhere.”
I gasped when his fingers found me, stroking once, twice, teasing the sensitive flesh until I arched against him. He moved down my body, eyes locked on mine, and tore away the rest of my clothing.
My heart thundered as he gripped my thighs and parted them.
Then his mouth was on me.
He groaned the moment he tasted me, the deep, guttural sound vibrating through my core.
His tongue moved with slow, devastating precision, circling and flicking my clit.
He feasted like I was the only thing that could satisfy him.
His hands gripped my thighs when I bucked beneath him, anchoring me in place as he drove me to the edge.
My hands fisted his hair, tugging, grounding, needing something to hold onto as a blinding heat built low in my belly.
“Ryder, please,” I whimpered.
He didn’t stop. He buried his face deeper, licking me through the storm until I shattered on his tongue, crying out into the star-filled room.
I barely caught my breath before I was pushing him onto his back, yanking open the buttons of his jeans. I needed him. All of him.
His jeans, shirt, and boots came off in a dizzying haze.
I pushed him onto his back, reaching into his boxer briefs. My hand wrapped around his thick, hard shaft. Stroking, I kissed my way down his chest, tracing the scars with my lips.
When I took him into my mouth, he hissed and buried a hand in my hair.
“Jesus, Lou…” His voice cracked, raw. “You’re going to kill me.”
I loved the way he lost control under my hands, how he trembled when I hollowed my cheeks and looked up at him, our eyes locking in the dark. I could taste the need on him—salt and heat and aching restraint.
He pulled me up suddenly, flipping me beneath him. “I need to be inside you.”
His tanned, scarred body hovered over mine, thick and trembling, and he paused, his breath brushing my cheek.
“You okay?” he asked, voice hoarse.
I nodded, breathless. “I’ve never wanted anything more.”
He slid inside me in one deep, slow thrust, his eyes locked on mine the entire time. We both gasped, lips parting in shared awe. Pain and pleasure blended mercifully as my body stretched around him like it was made for him.
We moved together like we’d been made for each other—his body fitting mine perfectly, like some missing piece had finally clicked into place. His forehead rested against mine as we rocked together, his hand tangled in my hair, his mouth brushing mine between kisses.
“Lou,” he whispered, breath shaking, “You’re everything I never thought I could have.”
Tears burned the backs of my eyes as I kissed him, my body tightening around him, the pressure building again. Sweat slicked our skin as we held each other tighter, moved faster, like something else had taken over both of us.
I tilted my head, staring at the stars above as he drove into me, over and over, and over again. Our chest heaving, breaths in unison.
Heaven.
He came with a broken sound against my mouth, his whole body trembling with release. I followed a heartbeat later, falling apart beneath him, around him, with him.
When it was over, he didn’t pull away. He wrapped his arms around me and rolled us to our sides, holding me against his chest, our bodies still joined.
We lay there in silence beneath the stars, our hearts beating in sync.