Chapter 56 Louise
LOUISE
Twenty minutes later, the silence was shattered beneath wailing sirens. Two patrol cars raced up the driveway, lights cutting across the snow-blanketed fields in garish blues and reds.
Chaos unfolded.
Officers fanned out, voices clipped and urgent, boot steps crunching the gravel with finality. The peace was gone. And I’d brought the storm.
I waited my turn to be interviewed, standing off to the side with arms folded tightly around my ribs.
My eyes wandered across Ryder’s land—his house, the stables, the trails that led into the woods.
Everything he’d built to survive, to isolate, to keep the past at bay.
A fortress carved from solitude and pain.
And I’d cracked it open like an eggshell.
When my name was called, I kept it together the best I could.
I kept my answers even, my emotions buried.
Except my eyes—those never left him. Ryder stood off to the side, stoic as ever, speaking quietly with Chief McCord and another officer.
No visible emotion. No cracks in his armor.
But I could feel the weight of his soul like a gravitational pull.
God, I loved him so damn much.
After what felt like hours, the officers dispersed, a plan in place. And then he was in front of me—broad shoulders tense, jaw tight, eyes blazing with intensity.
“They’ve asked me to take them to the body,” he said, his voice calm but worn. The body. It sounded clinical. So wrong.
His eyes searched mine. “How did it go? Are you okay?”
“Are you?” I asked softly, trying to steady my voice.
“Always,” he said with a forced smile that made my chest ache.
“Ryder, I’m leaving,” I blurted.
His entire body froze. “What?”
“I’m leaving,” I said again, faster this time.
“They said we could go—that we should go. I think they want us to talk to the FBI. I’m going to leave with Miles and Austin.
I need to get home. I need to get out of here.
I need to—” My voice broke. “I’m so sorry, Ryder. I’m so sorry I’ve done this to you.”
The words barely landed before he was stepping into my space. His eyes flickered with confusion, hurt, panic. “Lou… no. No, stay. Please.” His voice cracked. “You can’t leave me right now. Please don’t leave. Not now. You can’t walk away just because things got hard. Don’t do this.”
He stilled. Blinked. Shocked by his own begging.
“Why?” he asked, almost breathlessly.
I shook my head, choking back another sob.
“All of this is because of me. Don’t you see that?
” I gestured wildly at the chaos, angry that he wasn’t holding me accountable.
“This is my fault. All of it. You would’ve never been in this situation if I’d just…
thought things through. If I hadn’t dragged you into my mess. ”
“You didn’t—”
“I’m a fucking disaster, Ryder,” I snapped, my voice rising. “And you… you’re not. You’re strong. You’re steady. You deserve peace, not someone who leaves broken things in her wake.” My voice cracked, my hands trembling. “I’m so sorry for all the hurt I caused you. I never meant to—”
He reached for me, eyes pleading, but I pulled back.
“I love you, Ryder,” I whispered, the words tearing from my heart. “I love you so much. That’s why I have to go. You deserve better than this.”
He stared at me, stunned.
Tears filled mine.
Yes, I love you.
I love you, I love you, I love you.
I turned before I could change my mind, forcing my legs to move, stumbling toward my things. Toward the door that would close behind me—for good.
And I didn’t dare look back.
Twenty minutes later, the castle on the hill’s serenity was shattered by wailing sirens as two patrol cars raced up the driveway. Chaos ensued.
Waiting my turn to be interviewed, I looked around Ryder’s home, his land, everything he’d built to protect himself from the outside world. Everything he’d built to put the past behind him.
I’d shattered it all.
I kept it together during the interview, keeping my eye on Ryder the entire time. Not surprisingly, he was interviewed away from the group by Chief McCord and another officer. Ryder had stood strong and stoic as he told his story.
I loved him so damn much.
The officers broke off, a plan in place.
Ryder walked over to me, his expression so intense, my stomach flipped.
“They’ve asked me to take them to the body.” The body. “How did everything go? Are you okay?”
“Are you okay?”
“Always.” He forced a smile.
Tears filled my eyes again. “Ryder, I’m leaving,” I blurted.
“What?”
“I’m leaving. They said we could go—that we should go. I think they want us to talk to the FBI too. I’m going to leave with Miles and Austin. I need to get home. I need to get out of here. I’m so sorry, Ryder. I’m so sorry I’ve done this to you.”
Before the words could fully land, he was stepping into my space, eyes filled with confusion, hurt, panic. “Lou, no, stay. Please. You can’t leave me right now. You can’t leave just because things got tough. Don’t do this. Please—”
He stilled. Blinked. Shocked by his own begging.
“Why?” he asked, breathless.
“All of this is because of me, don’t you see that?
” I snapped, angry that he wasn’t holding me accountable.
“This is all my fault. Everything. You never would have been in this situation if I would have had better judgment, like you’ve said.
I’m a fucking shitshow, and you’re . . .
you’re perfect. I’m not good for you.” My lip quivered.
“I’m so sorry for all the hurt I caused you. ”
He grabbed my arm, but I jerked it away.
“I love you, Ryder,” I said, the words tearing from my heart. “I do. I love you so much. That’s why I have to go. You deserve better than this.”
He stared at me, stunned.
Tears blurred my vision.
Yes, I love you.
I love you, I love you, I love you.
I turned before I could change my mind, forcing my legs to move, stumbling toward the house. Toward my things.
Toward the door that would close behind me—for good.
And I didn’t dare look back.