Ryker

Chapter Seven

I struggle to grab the keys out of the side pocket of my gym bag as I turn the corner to the Motel. I pause when I get to the door and notice it’s cracked open. I feel my heart sink, and a stabbing pain starts in the back of my eyes as I push the door open. I try to swallow, but it gets lodged in my throat when I notice the flowers on the bed with a note sitting on the side table.

“Jeremy?” I call out but receive no answer. The eerie silence is replaced by my beating heart, the sound traveling to my ears.

I make my way over to his room through the connecting door, but there is still no sign of him. Scanning the room, I notice he has cleaned his side, something I’ve been asking him to do for weeks. All his clothes have been picked up, and his trash is in a bag next to the door. I see his bathroom door closed, so I carefully walk over to the door, making sure to scan the room as I do.

I knock softly and wait for an answer. “Jer?” I knock on the door again and try to open it but it doesn’t budge. “Are you okay?” Panic starts to creep in even further. “I need you to say something. I’m freaking out.” Still silence.

I turn around, feeling eyes on me. My palms start to sweat as I adjust the gun in my hands, trying to get a better grip. I try the door again, and when it doesn’t budge, I ram my shoulder into the door. Again, and again.When that doesn’t work, I kick the door twice before it finally breaks down.

My eyes immediately find him on the floor, beaten to a pulp. “Jer!” I scream as I fall to the floor beside him and check his pulse. “No, no, no,” I whisper, not finding one .

I place the gun next to me and start compressions, trying to give him CPR. I get a few rounds in before I stop and check his pulse again. I let out a whimper and pause when I look at my hands on his chest and notice the blood that completely coats them.

My trembling hands lift up his shirt, and I gasp. Putting my hands over my mouth, I smear blood on my cheek. I fall back on my heels when I see the large stab wound at his chest.

I cup his face, “Jer…” I whisper as my voice breaks. I lift his head, put it in my lap, and bend down to put my forehead on his. I close my eyes, letting out another sob. “I’m so sorry…” I inhale a sharp breath as I feel the stinging behind my eyes. “Jeremy, please don’t leave me.” I kiss him softly and place my forehead back on his.

I hear the door open from my room, and a sinister chuckle echoes through the room. Keeping my head on his, I grab the gun I placed on the tile and aim at the approaching figure.

First, I see his shiny black shoes, then black slacks, a white button-down, and then his face—smiling in all his glory. He runs his hands through his blonde hair, parting it to the right and slicking it back.

His cold blue eyes pierce me to my soul. The tattoos on his face add a more devilish gleam to his smile. A shiver rolls through my body. I try to scoot back to gain some space but bump into the grimy tub.

“Now you…” He smiles even wider when he sees the fear in my eyes. “You are a hard girl to find. I have to hand it to you. You put on quite a chase.” I cock the gun and start to stand, gently moving Jeremy’s head off my lap, but he raises his hand and I freeze on instinct. “Now, Bianca, is that any way to treat the man you love?” He smirks .

I let out a scoff and stand up. “You can’t control me anymore Manzo. Fuck. You.” I try to keep my voice steady, but I can’t prevent the shakiness and fear from seeping into my tone.

“That’s why I’m here Bella. I’m here to take you home.”

I scowl and take a step towards him not letting the fear rule my body. Everything in me is telling me to run, but I can’t. He’s right here. I can kill him. I can pull the trigger.

“But you won’t.” He answers as if reading my mind.

I feel the sting of tears forming once again but I try everything to keep them from falling. He can’t see me cry. He hasn’t since I was a teenager. He can’t know how much this affects me.

He takes a step forward so that the barrel of the gun is at his chest. “I own you.” He whispers. “Not him.” He gestures to Jeremy, but I don’t look. He shakes his head, “I gave you everything, and you ran.” He puts his hand on the gun and lowers it, stealing it out of my hands. I can’t fight. I can’t scream. I can’t cry. I thought I would when I saw him for the first time… but I’m frozen.

I mutter the only thing I can. “You killed him.” I bow my head in submission. “You got my girls killed. My sisters!” I hiss.

He hooks his finger under my chin and lifts my face so I’m looking him in the eyes. His touch causes fear, panic, and anger. I let the ladder take over.

“Now, Bella.” He bends down and whispers in my ear. “I’ll take out everything and everyone that keeps us from each other.” He plants a kiss on my lips, and I try to turn in protest. A flash of anger crosses his face, and he grabs me by the throat. I scramble to tear his hands away from my throat but he’s too strong. He squeezes hard, and the light begins to fade as his grip slowly begins to tighten .

When he lets me go, I drop to the floor next to Jeremy. As I look at his mangled body, a single tear falls down my cheek.

“Did you do it?” I whisper between heavy breaths as I look up at him.

He lifts his chin before answering. “Of course, Bella. He took you from me. He needed to pay for his sins. He took what was mine. ” While I’m curled up, I grab the knife that’s hidden in the band sitting above my ribs, trying to hide it as best as I can. “Let’s go home.”

“Fuck you.” I hiss. “That will never be my home.”

I thrust the knife towards him, nicking his thigh. He grabs my wrist and picks me up with ease, making me drop the knife. I kick and punch as hard as I can, making him stumble. Before he can regain his stability, I throw my body into his, forcing us to fall. I try to crawl to the knife I dropped, but he grabs ahold of my ankle and pulls me back to him, growling as he grabs my face, forcing me to look at him.

“Do I need to re-break you?” He grunts, and rips down my shorts with one hand and the other, pinning me down so I can’t get up.

He uses his legs to spread mine. When I try kicking him, he kneels on me. His knees dig into my thighs. I claw at his face, leaving a scratch from the top of his cheekbone through his stubbled cheek, down to his chin. He lets out a hiss and uses his arms to push off of me.

Grabbing my arms in one of his large hands, he pins me with all of his upper body strength. Shifting his weight to one side, he finishes pulling down his pants and ripping off my underwear. I start screaming as he uses his other hand to cover my mouth. When he’s gotten us naked from the waist down, he releases one of my legs from being pinned and lifts it with his. I try kicking, but it’s no use. I’m kicking nothing but the air. In one fell swoop, he thrusts into me.

I scream out. Between his rough thrusts and how dry I am, my body instinctively tightens. My left thigh is on fire from his knee digging into me. I try to move, but his weight pushes into me harder. Thankfully, he lets go of my hands and mouth and repositions me, like I'm nothing more than his sex doll, a feeling I thought was lost a long time ago.

He lifts my hips and continues to pump into me. I cover my mouth, muffling my tortured cries, so I don’t make him any angrier with me. I watch with foggy eyes as he gives me a sinister smirk.

“I knew you missed me.” He huffs out in labored breaths.

It’s time, Bianca . I hear my mom’s voice ringing in my ears. Whenever this would happen, her voice would give me the strength to block out the torment I felt on a daily basis.

I stare at the ceiling, and my body goes numb. One moment, I am here looking into his eyes, and the next, I’m watching from above. I can see the horror in my own eyes, the paleness of my skin glowing in the darkness. My eyes glaze over, my vision unfocused, as the pain begins to morph into nothingness.

I don’t feel a thing, not the pain from the bruises I know will be there by morning from his weight pressing into me, not the mental pain.

Mia, Karmen, and Maggie used to ask how I did it. How do I deal with the trauma? How am I feeling after? The truth is, I feel nothing. I’m not sad, angry, or hurt. I’m numb. Even now, as I watch it happen, I feel nothing. The entire four years he had me he claims that I broke, but I will never and could never. He scowls as his heavy breathing intensifies.

The sad thing is someone could look at him and see the handsome man hiding behind the monster. I close my eyes tight as he pulls out and flips me over. I can’t help but cry out and pull away. He growls and leans down over me, grabbing my arms, lifting my whole body off the ground, and making me sit on his lap reverse cowgirl. “Fuck.” He groans as he puts his face on my neck. “I missed this. I missed us.”

I focus on Jeremy’s seemingly lifeless body. Jeremy’s eyes start to flutter open, and I feel myself get sucked back into my body. His fingers twitch, trying to get up. I shake my head. Telling him not to move.

I scream again, trying to push Manzo off me with the sudden rush of adrenaline from knowing Jeremy isn’t dead. Manzo pushes me forward, causing my chin to hit the bare wooden floor. I wince from the impact, and he uses one hand to push my head down on the floor, and the other to reinsert himself. I lay there silent while he finishes.

I look up at Jeremy, whose eyes have closed again, so I close mine as well. When Manzo pulls out, I crawl over to Jeremy’s body and lay next to him. If I’m going to die, I'm going to die holding his hand.

Interlocking our fingers, I lean my head against his shoulder. He squeezes my hand, and I squeeze back, whispering in his ear, “No matter what, I’ll be okay. You need to fight this. You have to live.” I kiss him and feel him slightly kiss me back. “Play dead.” I don’t move as I hear footsteps approach behind me.

“Did you love him?” Manzo hisses, and I whip my head around.

“Of course!” I scream. “He was my family.” I turn and bow my head towards Jeremy, but I feel Manzo’s strong arm wrap around my stomach, and I hold onto Jeremy’s hand tighter. “NO!” I hold on for dear life. “PLEASE! NO!” I cry out harder, and I manage to get out of his grip. When I fall to the floor, I kick the knife I dropped earlier, and I launch for it without a second thought .

I whip around, cutting him across the forearm as he reaches for me. He hisses but still manages to grab me. I use the angle to kick him in the balls and watch as he hits the ground, rolling on to his side. Running past him to my room, I kick him in the head, hopefully disorienting him.

I grab my bag from under the bed. My body is weak. There is a strong stabbing pain in my side that causes me to brace against the wall for a moment as I try to regain my composure. I know I have to power through it, so I grab the knuckle duster from the nightstand and slip it on.

I hear the rushing footsteps approach as I open the door. I freeze, and we stare at each other, my eyes darting between him and my possible escape route. I know if I get caught now, I will die. I clench my fist, ready to pounce.

“Now, Bella,” he hisses, “I’ll forgive you… if you come with me. It’s not just me now. Every mob boss in the state is looking for you.” Manzo takes a step towards me, forcing me to take one back, and he clenches his jaw. “Marcello, Hawkins, and Domincio are all hunting you. Maybe you can hide from me, but you certainly can’t hide from all of us. Just stop and come home.” He reaches out his hand, and I grip the knuckle duster tighter.

“Just. Let me go.” I cry out in a hoarse breath, still breathing hard. “Can’t you see it, Bella? I can’t. I’m in love with you. You will

be the Queen of my empire. You will bear my children, and we will rule this whole city together. Everything will be mine. I need you by my side. Why can’t you see that I’m doing this for us ?” He takes another step, but I lift my chin in defiance. He reaches a hand toward my face, and I close my eyes to stop myself from wincing. When I open them, he’s staring at me with the same lust and love he used to, but all I feel is disgust. He pulls his hand away. "Let's go. ”

“No,” I whisper, and he stiffens. “You don’t do anything for anyone but yourself. You killed my family. You killed Jeremy. My sisters. Everyone I’ve ever loved. That’s not love. You just can’t stand the thought of me with someone else.” I look down at the floor as rage starts to boil beneath my skin, and he notices. He always notices.

“I had to.” He sighs. I look up, rage fills my eyes, and he reflects the emotion. “I’ve tried to be nice.” He reaches for me, and I pull back my arm. Swinging, I hit him in the jaw, then pull back for another punch.

He grabs my wrists and twists them, bending my arm back, and dislocating my shoulder. I swing with my left arm, hitting him in the back of the head, and he grunts. “I’m not doing this again.” He hisses.

I scream, and he lets go of my arm to cover my mouth. I take the opportunity, punching him in the throat. He stumbles backward, his hands at his neck.

My fist flies again, hitting him square in the nose. He lets out a frustrated scream as I sprint out the door. I only run a few steps before a car catches my eye in the parking lot. Five men stare back at me in shock. I make eye contact with Ryker. “He raped…” Before I could continue, I shift my gaze to Hawkins as he walks towards me.

I start to step backward when I see Manzo exiting the motel room, rubbing his face. I shift my gaze from the men to him and then back to the men, noticing Marcello standing behind Ryker.

I let out a gasp and stumble, falling over the curb. A wave of betrayal surges through my body. Behind him, I see Howie looking at me, pity in his gaze. I haven’t seen him since I was eighteen. Did he lead him here? To me? I quickly pick myself up, stumbling as Manzo stalks toward me .

“Come,” he hisses. “You’re surrounded.” He gestures to the men by the car and holds up his hand to stop Hawkins.

“Manzo…” I take another step back. “I can’t go through it again… I’ll…”

“You’ll what? Break?” He lets out a sinister laugh.

As my panic intensifies, I turn and sprint towards the main road. I hear the muffled sound of the men shouting, and the six sets of footsteps charge after me. I drown everything out, running for my life. I almost make it to the main road when someone tackles me face-first. I cry out in pain as my dislocated shoulder hits the ground, and my cheek and my knees slide along the gravel.

“ENOUGH!” I hear Manzo shouting. When I open my eyes, Manzo is directly above me. He pins down my hand and rips off my knuckle dusters, and I shout in pain as my skin is torn off with it. “Let’s see how well you fight now.” He slips it onto his fingers and punches me in the ribs. He grabs my throat, choking me, but I don’t fear death, not anymore. He took that from me; he’s taken everything from me.

“Kill me.” I choke out. “You can rape me, torture me, and kill everyone I love, but I will never break.” I pant, “I will never love you.”

I start to see black spots, and I turn my head to look over to Marcello, who can’t even look at me. When he lifts his gaze, I feel my anger rising all over again. How could he let this happen? Again.

I give Manzo one hard knee in the balls, and he lets go, falling to his side. The multiple hits to the groin will do that to you. I try to stand but sway on my feet as I try to regain control of my vision.

Even in my disorientation, I tackle him as he starts to stand. I straddle him, punching him repeatedly, the sickening sound of the broken bones in his nose shifting. I grab his throat and squeeze for dear life.

Regaining control, he flips me, so I’m on the bottom. I grab the gun from his waistband, and he tenses, punching me in the cheek. I start to see stars again, dropping the gun, and I blink rapidly, trying to focus. I buck my hips up to try and gain an advantage, to no avail. I feel his hard cock press into me more, and bile rises up my throat.

“Should we give them a show?” He hisses in my ear, turning, and facing the men now feet away. “You boys want to see what it’s like to have some real fun?” He laughs, and I look over at the men who show no emotions.

He puts his hand on my mouth and starts lifting up my shirt for round two, and I feel the breeze on my exposed skin. He shoves a finger inside me as I scream and kick. I do everything in my power to get him off me. I bite his calloused palm and tear at the skin on his forearm in an attempt to free myself of his touch.

The pace of his fingers speeds up as I continue to struggle. “You boys want a turn? I don’t usually share, but I’d be willing to make an exception.”

While he’s distracted, I latch on to his skin with my teeth, and I don’t let go, even when I start to taste copper. He removes his fingers, backs up, and stands, lifting me up with him as I still have a hold of his hand. He picks me up by the throat and throws me to the ground a few feet away from the men.

When I lift my head, I see Ryker. His jaw is clenched, and he is eyeing my body. I scowl and spit blood at his boots. I look at Lincoln, whose eyes are wide as his gaze shifts between me and Manzo. Hawkins stares straight ahead, his emotions neatly tucked away. Howie's eyes are filled with tears when he looks at me. He turns away from me, and my heart sinks .

I know Howie has a good heart. I know he wouldn’t let this happen if he were the boss. He was more of a father to me growing up than my own father was. I know that if it were left up to him, he would kill Manzo and everyone who ever dared touch me.

When I turn my attention to Marcello, his eyes are blank. Knowing it’s my last hope, I do something I haven’t done in years. I beg for my father’s help.

I stumble up onto my feet with every ounce of strength I have left in my body, and I fall into my father’s arms.

“Dad.” I pant, and the eyes of the other three men dart from me to my father. Manzo strides back over to me. His face is bloody and bruised. “Dad! Don’t let him take me again! You know what he did to me, and you let it happen. Don’t do this again…” I plead as Manzo grabs me around my waist and pulls me to him. I grip Marcello’s suit as tight as I can.

Without looking at me, Marcello slowly reaches up and uncurls my fingers around the fabric of his suit. “Dad,” I whisper just as the last finger comes loose.

Marcello walks over to the car’s back seat and slips inside without looking up once, and a large part of me dies. Fathers are supposed to love their daughters, fight for them, and protect them. I guess that’s why I never learned about love, healthy love, at least. I thought for just a second that maybe he would see me, but I’ve always been a pawn in the game of men, always sacrificed in their selfishness. I fear I will never know what it’s like to feel compassion when I’m surrounded by so much hate.

The other men are staring between me, Marcello and Manzo. I feel a sharp agonizing pain spread through my skull. I whimper and fall limp.

Baby, don’t give up. You’re so close. My mother’s voice calls to me again, and I blink my eyes open, looking at the sky. The world is spinning as I try to stand and I almost fall back on my ass. Manzo is talking with the other men with his back to me when I make eye contact with Hawkins. His eyes swing back to the conversation when Ryker nods, telling me to run.

I hesitate, not finding Lincoln anywhere near the car. I slowly turn my head, ignoring the pain traveling down my spine. I find Lincoln leaning against the wall, arms crossed and scowling. He takes two large strides towards me, and I tense. He kicks the bag closer to me, his own signal of telling me to go.

I look over my shoulder, making sure Manzo didn’t hear the commotion. With his attention still locked on Ryker, I carefully slip the bag over my shoulder, giving myself a few seconds to adjust to the added weight before I bolt.

This time, I don’t hear the other men following. I turn and keep running down the narrow alley between the store next door and the Motel. I’ve looked for escape routes every time I move into a new place. It’s second nature at this point and a damn good thing considering the circumstances.

I sprint even faster, the pavement scraping my feet with every step. I make it another two blocks before I stumble onto a busy street. I wave down a cab, and thankfully, it stops.

“Just drive!” I pant, trying to catch my breath, and the man looks at me in horror. I can’t imagine what I look like. Covered in my own blood, Manzo’s… and Jeremy’s. I bow my head in defeat.

I grip my side as the taxi takes off. “Where to?” I look up at the driver, eyeing me in the rear-view mirror, noticing my lack of clothing and bare feet.

“Just get me out of the Bronx.” I groan as I shift in my seat.

I look out the window and watch as the buildings fly by. With the adrenaline still pumping through me, everything turns into a blur. I lean my head back and take a few breaths, trying to get my breathing under control.

When I open my eyes, I look down at my palms, the reminder of Jeremy’s broken body covering them. I try wiping the blood off on my shirt and thighs, but with it being dried, nothing helps. My breathing starts to pick up. The walls are closing in. My thoughts spiral. Jeremy. Oh my god. Oh god. He’s dead. Gone, forever. How could I have let this happen again? I should’ve left. It’s all my fault. It’s always my fault. Always .

“Pull over!” I shout.

I fling the door open as the car comes to a stop and vomit up everything that was in my stomach. I take a deep breath, wiping my mouth. “Where are we?” I mumble as I shut the door again.

“We are still in the Bronx.” The driver mumbles as he pulls away from the curb.

“Take me to the nearest hotel.”

“I don’t think that is a good idea. Let’s get you to a hospital.” “No,” I whisper as my eyelids become heavy. I lean my head

against the cool door and take a few deep breaths. My racing heart

begins to slow, and darkness begins to take over as I drift off into the abyss.