Chapter Twenty-Four
A door slams, jolting me awake. In a panic, I sit up and scan my surroundings.
Everything is how it should be. The balcony doors to my left are still open, allowing the fresh fall breeze in. The clothes Lincoln brought for me after my shower are still sitting on the reading chair next to the bookshelf. The fireplace with the TV mounted above it is still burning with the last pieces of wood.
I take a deep breath to steady my racing heart. After a few seconds, I hear pounding footsteps coming up the stairs. I scramble out of bed, searching the room for a weapon. I run over to the fireplace and grab the fire poker. Gripping it tightly, I prepare myself for battle. The footsteps stop in front of my door, and someone's loud pounding makes me gasp.
I start for the door, but it bursts open. Ryker storms in with a maddening look on his face. He rips the fire poker from my hand and tosses it onto the floor before gripping my neck and shoving me against the wall.
“I’ve had enough.” He hisses as his grip grows tighter.
I scramble to claw at his wrists, but it only makes him tighten his grip even more.
“You are going to tell me everything. Now. Or I will snap your neck and send your head to Manzo as a little gift.”
I clench my jaw. At this point, he has me about three inches off the ground, only holding me up by my neck. I do the only thing I can; I wrap my legs around his waist and pull him closer to me so our faces are only inches apart.
“If you wanted to kill me, you would’ve done it already.” I choke out the words the best I can.
“WHO IS THE MOLE!” He yells, slamming me back against the wall. I wince, and for a moment, I think I see a flash of remorse cross his eyes. He takes a deep breath and loosens his grip. “I lost a lot of good men tonight. Men with wives… kids . This fucker needs to be taken down, and the only one who knows who it is, is you.”
I look away, not wanting to see the human behind the monster. He just threatened to behead me, but the look in his eyes tells me it was an empty threat. He’s spiraling.
I drop my legs from around his waist so I can stand. He doesn’t bother backing away. Instead, he places his hands on either side of my head and bows his head.
My breathing grows heavy, and my throat begins to burn. Tears begin to well up behind my eyes, and I don’t know why. Is it because of the vulnerability he’s showing me? Is it because I’m stuck in another situation where my life is on the line? Is it because there are children missing their fathers right now because I was so fucking stubborn? They wouldn't have died if I had given up the mole's name. It’s all my fault .
“I need to shower.” I finally say, pushing past him. Ryker grips onto my arm and whirls me around to face him.
I can’t stop it this time. A single tear falls down my cheek, and I quickly swipe it away. Ryker's eyes soften, and I want nothing more than to crawl into his arms. Misery loves company. Whether it's real or he’s using this as a manipulation tactic, I need it .
“Tom.” I finally say, ripping my arm out of his grasp. “I didn’t get a last name.” I pause for a moment, searching his eyes. “There is more than one, but I only heard him use Tom’s name.”
We stare at each other. I know he’s assessing me to see if I’m telling the truth, but at this point, I’m just so tired. I’m giving up. I haven’t felt this drained in a long time. I’ve never wanted to cry as much as I do right this second.
I look back over to the bed. It’s still early morning, and my body is exhausted. I didn’t have it in me to shower when Lincoln originally brought me up here, but now I feel even more tired than I was then. These sheets will need to be cleaned of the dirt and grime that transferred from my skin onto the silky white linen.
Ryker walks past me and into the bathroom. I hear the water turn on, and I furrow my brows. “What are you doing?” I call after him but I don’t get a reply. I open the bathroom door a bit wider to see Ryker pouring a lavender-scented liquid into the tub. “Are you running me a bath?” I ask as I tentatively step into the room.
Once again, he ignores me. Screwing the lid back on the bottle, he mixes the water with his hand before making the water warmer. He finally looks up at me and rakes his eyes down my body.
“You’re filthy.”
I raise an eyebrow. “And whose fault is that?” I look him over and intake a sharp breath. “You’re bleeding.”
I had noticed he was covered in blood, but the black T-shirt and black pants tend to blend the blood in well enough that you wouldn’t notice it at first glance. The blood splatter on his cheek is the most noticeable .
“Take off your jeans,” I demand as I grab a clean cloth off the counter. He gives me a strange look, and I roll my eyes. “Come on, just do it.”
Hesitantly, he follows my command. I try to ignore the bulge in his boxers, but if he's this big when he’s soft…
I avert my gaze as I bend down and examine the wound. It looks like he already removed the bullet, so I clean the area with peroxide I’d found in one of the cabinets. He hisses, and I roll my eyes. “Baby.” I tease. I gently run my fingers over the stitches that are still intact before looking up at him. “You did this yourself, didn’t you.” He nods once, and I sigh as I stand. “You ripped a few, my guess, from running up here like a madman.”
“Your turn.”
I furrow my brows, but before I can protest, he grabs me by the shoulders and spins me around. Unhooking my bra in one swift motion. “Jesus!” I yell, catching the bra before it completely falls off.
“Get in.” Ryker points to the bath as I turn around to glare at him.
Ignoring me, he turns off the water and turns around. Not like it does much since he’s looking in the mirror. I roll my eyes and turn my back to the mirror before slipping my arms out of the straps and tossing the bra onto the floor. I do the same with my underwear before dipping a foot into the water to test the temperature. I’m not sure how he did it, but it’s perfect.
I let out a soft moan as I lower myself into the tub. It’s a white marble tub that sits next to the window. At first, I thought it was weird that someone would be willing to bathe where people could possibly see you, but the view alone takes my breath away. You can see every inch of the backyard with the city in the distance. The sun is still rising, and the mixture of orange, pink, and purple fills the sky.
I lean back, wincing as the water hits my cuts, but the cool marble of the tub against my skin gives me some relief. The bubbles cover me for the most part, so when Ryker takes a seat on the edge of the tub, it doesn’t bother me as much as it should. I am actually starting to enjoy his company.
I close my eyes and dip my head under the water. Nothing but me and my thoughts can penetrate the surface. I let the burning sensation fill my lungs. I grip the edges of the tub, squeezing my eyes even tighter as I release all of the air.
This isn’t how my life should have gone. It should’ve been happy, filled with Christmas around the fire, with me and a few siblings laughing and opening presents. Birthdays, filled with people who love you. Thanksgiving, inviting the old uncle who creeps everyone out, but nobody has the heart to uninvite him. Instead, my birthday is spent running for my life. The only family member I have left hates me because I shut him out. With Jeremy’s death, I won’t be surprised if Nolan never talks to me again. I’m alone, seeking comfort from a man who would rather slit my throat. What does that say about me?
I’m desperate.
I finally sit back up, gasping in a deep breath as I push my hair back from around my face. I blink to clear the water from my lashes before pulling my knees up to my chest and resting my chin on my knees.
Soft strokes gliding up and down my arm startle me. Looking down, I follow Ryker’s large hands as he lightly cleans off the blood and dirt that has caked onto my skin. He gently unravels my arm from around my legs so he can scrub under each of my fingernails .
Without looking at me, he moves onto my back, squeezing water out of the rag onto my back. I wince, and he pauses, finally looking at me. We stare into each other's eyes. For a moment, there is nothing but us. Maybe I’m reading too much into it, but the air feels charged with what feels like regret and unspoken promises. I know I’m delusional, but right now, I choose to believe what my instincts are telling me.
I give him a nod to continue, and he shifts his focus to my back again. He’s careful not to run the washcloth over any of my cuts so I use this as a chance to relax. With my head still resting against my knees, I turn my head away from him so I can look out the window and watch the sun finish rising. After a few minutes, my eyes drift closed.
A soft touch against the back of my neck brings me back to reality.
“Lean back.” Ryker's voice is softer than I’ve ever heard it. I don’t think I can look at him right now, so instead I follow his orders without complaint.
The sun has completely risen, so I’m not sure how long I’ve dozed off for, but not only has the water gone cold, the bubbles are almost completely gone, exposing me.
Ryker runs his hands through my hair, detangling it as softly as he can when his fingers get stuck. The shampoo and conditioner he picked out smells like coconut, something I would’ve picked out myself if I had the option.
“Why are you doing this?” I ask softly, breaking the silence.
He doesn’t bother answering. Instead, he reaches down between my legs and pulls the plug to the bath before reaching up and pulling the shower head down. He turns on the hot water, lets it warm up for a few seconds before turning on the cold .
“Too hot?” He runs the water over my arm and I shake my head. He runs one hand through my hair again, massaging the remaining conditioner out and down the drain.
I let out a contemplative sigh and lean into his touch. He hesitates for only a moment before turning off the water and standing, holding out a hand for me to take. Without a second thought I accept it, allowing him to help me out of the deep tub and to wrap me in the softest towel I’ve ever had around my body.
He doesn’t let go of me, instead his grip tightens on my shoulder. “If you lied to me…”
“I didn’t.” I interrupt. “I’m tired. I’m tired of fighting, running, and constantly being scared of who will be the first to find me. I don’t want that anymore. I just want to be free. If that means playing the game with you until it’s all over, then fine.”
He looks over at the still-open bathroom door before looking back at me. I raise my hand to his cheek, using my still-wet hands to wipe off a few drops of blood. I let my hand linger there for a moment too long before I take a step back, making him drop his hands.
“Thank you for…” I gesture to the tub that now has grime and dirt sitting at the bottom of it. “But, I need to get dressed. If you wouldn’t mind.” I glance at the door, and he gives me one kurt nod before leaving me alone, wondering what the fuck just happened.
After I’m dressed in sweatpants and a T-shirt that are about six sizes too big, I pace around the bedroom debating on what to do. I grumble under my breath when the pants slip down again.
I have two options; one, tell Ryker and his crew everything. Starting with the night my mother died, or two, I remain silent and find a way to escape .
I scoff. As if anything was that simple. I tell him everything and he kills me, I try to escape and he drags me back to the basement. I know I can handle it, but I’d rather not give him the satisfaction of destroying my body even more than he already has.
There is a soft knock at the door and a soft feminine voice with a thick british accent follows, “Ms. I was told to bring you clean sheets.”
I open the door to find an older woman, who looks to be in her sixties holding a pile of clean sheets. I reach for them but she takes a step back with a soft smile.
“Oh, this is my job sweetheart, why don’t you go downstairs and grab a bite to eat.”
Without another word she enters and heads straight for the bed. I watch for a moment as she peels back the sheets. I run, or more like waddle over to the other side of the bed to help. She opens her mouth to protest but I just shake my head. “Please, it’s the least I can do.”
With nothing else to do, I finally make my way downstairs from my room at the end of the hallway. Everything is bleak. There aren’t any decorations, and it doesn’t seem like a home. White walls and hardwood floors. I pass four bedrooms, and two bathrooms. Before I hit the stairs.
I wander the halls downstairs, almost getting turned around but thankfully it loops around to the living room which is simple like the rest of the house.
“You need to tell her!” I hear Vivian yell from down the hall and, on instinct, I follow where it’s coming from. “If you don't, she won’t ever trust you. You won’t get anything out of her.”
“She’s already begun to talk. She told me the name of the mole. ”
“I would like to see her at some point, I…”
I don’t hear anything else. My vision starts to blur, and my throat grows tighter with every breath. I know that voice.
I slam open the door and everyone but Vivian raises a gun at me. I ignore them all. My focus is on Jeremy. He lowers his gun first, and I let out a sob as I run for him. I practically jump into his arms, wrapping my legs around him and holding him as tight as I can. When he wraps his arms around my back, I can’t help but wince. The cuts on my back send a scorching fire down my spine. I hide it by burying my head into the crook of his neck.
This can’t be real. I thought he was dead. But he’s here. I pull back and scan his features. Same green eyes, dirty blonde hair, and he’s a little more muscular, but nothing too dramatic.
I wrap my arms around his neck and pull him closer. “B…” he says and I let out another sob.
“How are you still alive?” I whisper into the crook of his neck as I hold him tighter.
“Ryker saved me.”
With tears in my eyes I finally pull back, placing my feet on the ground and let him go. I take a step back and blink away the tears as I scan the room, looking at the audience. Vivian is still looming over Ryker who is still seated in his chair behind the desk. He has a murderous look in his eyes that I reciprocate.
“You saved him?” I question Ryker with a raised eyebrow. “Men like you don’t do anything out of the kindness of your heart.” I glance over my shoulder to Jeremy, and when I see the sorrow and an apology written all over his face, it hits me. “Oh my god.” I whisper. “He’s working for you!” I can feel my face turn red with anger as I focus my attention back on Ryker.
“He’s paying off his debt. ”
“His debt?” I scoff. “What debt? It’s your fault that Manzo found me! It’s your fault that Jeremy was stabbed in the first place! He owes you nothing.” Crossing my arms over my chest, I level him with a glare.
“I didn’t have to save him, but I did. I didn’t have to give him a place to stay, but I did, I didn’t have to train him, but I did.”
I open my mouth to retort but a hand on my shoulder stops me. “B… I want to do this.”
I furrow my brows and turn around to face him. “Do what ? Become a murderer? Drug dealer? End up dead or in prison? He only looks out for himself.” I point to Ryker with my thumb over my shoulder. “They don’t care about you. This life always comes first.”
Jeremy laughs. “I don’t expect them to help me. Last I checked, I’m not a damsel who needs to be saved.”
“Then what's your plan Jer? Because I tried everything to keep you from this life and you ended up jumping into the deep end without a life vest.”
“I plan on doing everything I can to take down that son of a bitch.” “You think you can take on Manzo?”
“With Ryker, Lincoln, Hawkins and Nolan? Of course we can.”
I look to my right to see Lincoln, Hawkins, and Nolan standing against the wall, looking between the two of us. I let out a sigh and close my eyes.
“I thought I lost you once. I don’t want to lose you again.” “I’m not going anywhere. ”
I give Jeremy a soft smile. I hate the life he’s living now but I have to remind myself this is better than him being dead. Right?
Without thinking it through, I walk over to Nolan and give him a hug. It takes him a second but he wraps his arms around me just as tightly as Jeremy did.
“I’m so sorry,” he whispers.
“Don’t be. You did what I told you to do.” I give him one more squeeze before letting go. I walk to the center of the room and look at everyone’s faces, finally making up my mind. I have to tell them everything I know in order to protect the family I was