Chapter 27 Charlie
Istare at Suriel through the partially open door as he fists his cock.
His other hand is tied to the headboard and some white flecks of salt cling to his beard.
His head falls back. Fury simmers deep in me.
After his reaction to us having sex, him masturbating while thinking of me feels like salt in a fucking wound.
But under that anger, there’s a question I don’t want to ask.
There’s hunger I want to ignore, and something more demanding, a pull I don’t understand.
I’ve gone my whole life accepting that I’m unwanted, that I’m unloved.
That there’s something about me that makes it fundamentally impossible to be loved.
If someone’s nice, if someone’s gentle, if someone offers me what I desire before I can even ask for it, it’s because they’re conning me.
Yet, from the second Suriel leaped off my table, proving he was alive, I’ve wanted his attention just like this.
I’ve wanted to be the needling thought under his skin that drove him to lust, to sweetness, to something I haven’t had.
Takes the apocalypse to be wanted.
It sounds like too many voices in my past. The same that laughed at me believing they loved me, cared about me, that I mattered.
I’m just a convenient fuck. I’m just the friend that’s always available.
I’m just the one that’s there. To belittle, to hang out with, rather than being alone, to judge a person’s life against. But the second I’m gone, I’m forgettable.
Because I don’t matter.
People know I exist, but I’m a passing thought and nothing more. I’m not where people want to be. I’m not the home someone wants to make. I’m not the partner someone stays with. Once my use runs out, I’m done.
No one will take care of you, girly. Take care of yourself. Bob’s words echo in my head.
At least knew what the world was like and tried to prepare me.
I close my eyes and take a step forward as Suriel’s breathing goes ragged. “Charlie … Charlie.”
I almost ask what it is about me that gets him this worked up, but it’s better not to have false hope.
I nibble my bottom lip, but slowly slide my hand up to my breast. I’m too exhausted to go all out and fuck myself, but … If he’s going to get off to me, it’s going to be with my permission and my control. He doesn’t get to enjoy me after calling me a mistake – not without me involved.
He jumped me, it’s my turn.
I walk into the room and look at the toy drawer.
Handcuffs. Perfect. I open them and pounce before Suriel can react, ripping his hand off his dick and stretching his arm as far as I can before cuffing him to the slatted headboard.
His hand, tattooed with hundreds of eyes, is dry with a light dusting of salt.
Self-punishment turned pleasure. He pants as he stares at me, his blue eyes burning like there’s a fire behind them.
“If you’re panting my name, then my hand would be better,” I say, as I climb on top of him, stroking him so the head of his cock rubs against my belly every time I near the tip. “And if you’re fantasizing about me, then you’d have to be stupid to push away the real thing. Are you stupid, Suriel?”
“No,” he rasps before it settles into a groan. He leans towards me, but I turn my head to the side. “Charlie … when you touch my halo.”
“I bet it feels better than when God does it,” I say in his ear before biting his earlobe. I tighten my fingers around him, then trace his halo with my thumb. “And it’s such a nice halo. Does so much more than show how pure you are.”
He nuzzles my hair. “Faster.”
“I’m giving the orders now, angel, not you,” I say, then squeeze his cock to prove it.
He lets out a choked sound before I get back to business, stroking him and increasing the pace a little bit.
“You’re going to take it like the good little angel you are.
If you keep being good for me, I might just let you cum. ”
“Please.” He rasps. I use my second hand to trace the crown of his cock and then use my fingertips – pretending I’m using them to suck the head as my nails tease the head, moving closer and closer to the tip. He shudders. “Charlie.”
“But you don’t get to kiss me,” I say darkly. “That’s for good boys who are honest. Who say what they mean. Who actually like me.”
“I do like you, just not-”
I squeeze the base of his cock again and lightly drag my nails over the head, shutting him up. “You have permission to moan my name and to beg for release, nothing else.”
He shudders, but nods against my neck. I feel his teeth graze my skin. I stop stroking him and get up after a moment.
Suriel lets out a strangled groan. “Charlie, please. Please.”
I pick up an anal plug and walk over to him. Unfortunately, it’s not huge. Unfortunately, there’s not a pocket pussy too, or a strap on. Oh, the fun I’d have with him then. He opens his mouth to say something, but I shove the anal plug in his mouth.
“You want to cum for me?” I ask mockingly.
He nods weakly.
“Then prove it. Bow to my will, angel. Suck.”
He obeys, sucking and obviously wanting to ask something. I stroke him slowly and he inhales through his nose, practically drooling as I keep tracing his halo while my palm rubs the head of his cock.
“That’s going in your ass,” I say darkly, as his eyes widen.
I smirk. “Don’t worry. It’s not a mistake that God put the male g-spot there.
When I take the toy from your mouth, you’re going to spread your legs so I can slide it in.
As good as you look, so ready for the cross, you’re mine to fuck or fuck over however I choose. ”
His face burns, but I drag the anal plug from his mouth, now wet with his drool. I lean towards him. “Are you going to beg for pleasure like a good angel? For me to make you cum?”
“I want you. You’re divine. Paradise. Neither and both at the same time,” he groans, thrusting against my hand. “I wanted you before I was bitten. I wanted you before the infection. I still want you.”
“Prove it,” I snarl.
He obediently spreads his legs and I adjust his hips, teasing him with the plug, pushing it in until he hisses, then drawing back. He shudders. “I want you for so much more than sex. I want you more than I want to selfishly have you on repeat. Your life, your happiness, is more – Fuck!”
“You took half. That’s disappointing. We can’t reach your prostate if you keep restraining yourself. Let yourself have it because I’m telling you to, Suriel,” I say, then lean towards him, almost close enough to kiss. “Be a good angel and obey. Take every fucking inch.”
He pants, but when I thrust the toy in again, he takes it all the way. His head hits the headboard as he groans. I smirk and slowly fuck him with it while stroking his dick, taking my time, working him up. He’s already so close that precum is dripping from the tip of his cock.
When he bucks against my hand, really working his hips like he can take control, I thrust the anal toy in hard while squeezing the base of his cock, missing his Halo on purpose.
“You better ask permission to cum. If you’re so good at healing, I could cut this off and use it all I want while you watch in the corner, healing with that angel magic. ”
“Charlie,” he begs.
“Isn’t sodomy a sin?” I ask, fucking him harder with the anal plug and stroking him at the same time.
“Seems like confused planning. Especially when it feels so good. That doesn’t matter now.
You don’t belong to God anymore. You’re my angel.
You’re here for me. You chose it – just like you said. So serve.”
“Yes. Fuck, Charlie, please don’t stop. Please. I’m being-” he cuts himself off as his eyes close and he tries to swallow his groan. His nose brushes mine, desperate, searching. “Honest. So honest. No more lies. I won’t. I just … you … please.”
“Please what?” I croon, really milking his cock and fucking his ass now. I’m so wet watching him twist and writhe for me.
“Please let me cum. Your hands. My halo. Your voice. The toy …” he can’t string together a full sentence. “Please, Charlie.”
When he’s right on the edge, I force the toy all the way in and squeeze the base of his cock hard – a fun trick I learned from a friend.
I dig my thumbnail into him until he shudders and looks down.
He can’t pull away without inviting pain, he can’t cum either. His eyes open wide as he stares at me.
Letting him go after a full two five seconds, I get off him and push his legs together, just sitting next to him.
“You don’t get to masturbate to a mistake, Suriel.
But you’ll remember I can punish just like God or the Devil.
Neither are necessary for you to suffer.
Neither are necessary for you to be happy. ”
“Let me go, Charlie,” he breathes. “If you won’t finish me, I won’t finish myself.”
“Funny, I didn’t like being bound either.”
“If we had more time, I’d let you rip off my halo in any way you choose. If I had more of a say, I wouldn’t just memorize everything you’ve told me, I’d start proving your future could be different without you changing who you are,” he says.
My throat tightens. “You … you don’t get to say things like that.”
“You demanded honesty. You’re getting it,” he says, leaning in closer.
“I mean everything I say, even if I don’t want to.
I know pain, loss, grief too. Serving you is a choice I’ve made again and again since diving.
Obligation is a word, but it doesn’t have the power to force someone to take the hard road. ”
My reply sticks in my throat. “We’re both fucked up.”
He nods once. “A better word than plenty.”
“What’s really fucked up is a wingless angel trying to convince a human to let him cum – serving her instead of God,” I hiss, wanting to hurt him the same way he hurt me.
“Sit here with a plug buried in your ass, thinking about sodomy and sin. Pray to God. Talk to the Devil, but I don’t want to hear a word. ”
His eyes widen for a moment and I slip away.
He doesn’t get to win. Heaven doesn’t get to touch me.
Hell doesn’t get to make me suffer. I’m human.
This entire planet was made for us and I’m going to fight a two-fronted battle.
Suriel won’t stand in the way. He can’t shield Heaven from me.
He can’t turn me into a weapon against Hell.
I’m my own person and fuck anyone who thinks they get to decide my fate.
It’s mine alone.
“Charlie,” Suriel whispers. “I was always meant to serve you.”
Then you and Heaven have both failed.
I want to scream those words at him. But instead, I keep my mouth shut. I need to figure this out on my own. I need to claim my own fate without Hell or Heaven interfering.