Chapter 28 Kalina
KALINA
When I went to Alexsei’s room to tell him that I was pregnant, I really had it in my head that I’d address this news on my own.
I hadn’t been prepared for his heartfelt apology and promise to protect me.
His sweet declarations of steadfast love.
Most of all, though, I was stunned by how the entire family rallied behind our being a couple. Our sticking together.
They all helped me adjust, but thanks to Gabriella, who made sure I wasn’t pushed or overwhelmed at all, I didn’t feel controlled or ordered around.
That woman was far too sassy and opinionated to ever let anyone walk all over her, and when she suspected that someone was speaking to me with too much persuasion, she defended me and warned everyone to back off.
It was… sweet.
She had the kind of gumption and resilience I wanted to find and grow.
Gabriella, as the woman of the house, was instrumental in helping me get settled in. I officially had decided to move in with Alexsei rather than stay on the opposite side of the mansion. His private wing was enormous, and it was where Misha’s room was too.
He told me about the properties he owned, though, and I wondered if we’d move soon. Now that I was pregnant, I wanted to prepare as materialistically as I could, as in securing a crib and all the things a baby could need.
Raisa and Sadie helped me with that, though. A room in Alexsei’s wing would work as a nursery, and it was fun to preoccupy myself with all the things he wanted to buy for the baby.
“I don’t like just taking charity, though,” I told them as we browsed through websites and flipped through catalogs.
“Oh, I hate this brand,” Raisa said about a breast pump.
Gabriella glanced over and made a face. “Hard pass.”
“And it’s not charity,” Raisa said. “He’s the father of your child. He is merely providing for you.”
I frowned. “But I don’t have anything to contribute.”
Sadie gave me a look like she thought I had two heads. “What? You’re doing all the work!”
“It’s not like he can carry that baby for ten months or go through delivery,” Raisa teased.
“I know, but…”
Gabriella was quick to read me, though. “But you hadn’t imagined your only role would be to have a child and endure giving birth.”
I sighed. “Actually, no. For fourteen years, that was literally all I was expected to do. That this was all I would be used for.” Before they could argue with me, I held my hand up.
“I know Alexsei is not using me for this baby. It was an accident, and while it’s happening so soon after I escaped and could be free, it’s a blessing in disguise, one I hadn’t realized I’d wanted so badly. ”
“Then what are you getting at?” Sadie asked.
“Whenever I thought about escaping and having a life of my own, I avoided thinking about being pregnant. As in I’d avoid that ‘fate’. I would imagine that I’d have a job. I’d earn paychecks. I’d have the ability to pick my home and decorate it with things I liked.”
“Which is why I bet Alexsei was talking with Emil about house hunting soon,” Sadie said with a sly smile. “That man is so smitten with you that he’ll buy you any house you want and give you unlimited funds to do what you want with it.”
I smiled, loving the thrill of that adventure with him and Misha. To make our home together.
“But you still wanted a different purpose,” Gabriella said.
“Yeah. While I was being so stupid and stubborn to avoid Alexsei for the last couple of months, I was trying to figure out how I could take classes online to get a diploma. Maybe a degree.”
“I’ll help you with that,” Raisa said. She admitted that she’d started taking classes to get a degree too, just because she wanted one.
“But you have Lev. And another baby on the way,” I said.
She shrugged. “And we’ve also got a big family here, with plenty who want to help. Gabriella took a long time to hire a nanny, but that’s an option too.”
“No. I want to raise my baby on my own,” I argued.
They all smiled and replied in a chorus of, “Same.”
“We can help you start up a program to take classes,” Raisa said.
“And if you still want to preoccupy yourself past that, you can work with us on the women’s foundation.” Gabriella nodded once, as if that settled it.
There was so much to settle and decide. While it was a slow progress, I valued how I had a say in every step of the way. Even in moving into Alexsei’s wing, my preferences were considered.
Another thing that changed my attitude about ever being controlled was when Gabriella asked me to work out with her.
After a checkup with the ob-gyn, whom I had a total choice of, she suggested working out with me in the gym.
That led to her showing me the dance studio Luka had built for her.
Dance wasn’t my strength, but she opened the doors for me to exercise.
To take charge of my fitness and health.
It seemed like such a little thing, but watching my progress of getting stronger was a huge boost to my confidence.
On top of that, Sadie took it upon herself to ramp up the self-defense work. She was pregnant and limited in what she could demonstrate, and I was cautious about my baby, too. The most logical step, according to her, was to show me how to shoot.
In a private shooting range in the basement, Sadie and a couple of Dubinin soldiers showed me how to handle guns.
Alexsei was alarmed at first. Yet, he didn’t try to stop me. I was well aware of how strongly he wanted me to have control of my life.
When Luka came down to supervise as well, he lightened up.
“Your elbow,” Luka coached.
I nodded, trying to remember all the tips about proper stance.
“Here.” The older man stepped up and personally walked me through holding a gun.
All his tips helped immensely, and I realized that I was probably a member of a very small club, the people who were coached and taught by one of the most ruthless Mafia bosses on earth.
“Try again,” he said, stepping back and nodding at me.
I inhaled a deep, fortifying breath and got into position.
Feet apart. Weight balanced with a bent knee. Back straight. Arms up. Hands secure.
I closed one eye and homed in on where I wanted to aim this next bullet.
Firing once, I rode through the kickback. And as I noticed the clean hole on the target, right above the heart, I relished the success and accomplishment of being a quick learner.
I needed this.
Not to shoot, but to take charge of defending myself in the most critical way possible.
It wasn’t as though I thought the Dubinin men would fail me, nor that Alexsei would fail me.
More than anything, it was probably a part of becoming a mother, of wanting to make sure I would always be able to fight and kick ass on my own, should I ever have to.
I’ve needed all of this.
As I looked around the others down here in the shooting range, I couldn’t wipe this smile off my face.
I’d been desperate for this freedom. For this strength and confidence.
Not just Alexsei’s and Misha’s love. That made me whole again, but this power to know I could do hard things and make my happily-ever-after a reality, that instilled me with pure joy and triumph.
I set the handgun down on the counter smiling in thanks to the others’ praise.
Eying the target, I couldn’t help but entertain a dirty, secret wish. That it wasn’t a paper or cardboard drawing I was aiming at.
But my brother.
His friend.
Any man who ever tried to kidnap and take me from my home and family I was finding here.
I dare you.
I fucking dare any of you assholes to ever stand in my way again.
I knew the threats were out there. They were all plotting to kill the Riveras. Alexsei flat-out swore he wouldn’t stand for Erik or Yusef to be out there at large and able to harm me or our child.
But now, I could rest easier and breathe calmer with the start of having the power, practice, and guts to fend for myself, too.