Chapter 5 #2
"Because I'll lose myself." The admission felt like it was being torn from somewhere deep in my chest. "Because being near you makes me feel things I haven't felt in a century.
Because every instinct I have is screaming at me to claim you, mark you, never let you out of my sight, and that terrifies me more than anything I've ever faced in my life. "
Her breath caught and her green eyes widened on my face. "Elias..."
"You want to know how I see you?" I pulled her closer, silently cursing the bar that separated us, until I could feel her magic—riled up again with her emotions—dancing across my skin, settling into something steady and right.
"I see someone strong enough to face her own power even when it's tearing her apart.
I see someone who keeps fighting even when her own family won't believe her.
I see the one person who makes my carefully controlled world that always made me feel safe suddenly feel like a cage I'm desperate to escape. "
"I'm not those things," she whispered.
"You are." I leaned closer, drawn by forces I couldn't name and didn't want to fight anymore tonight. "You are. And I should run away so fucking fast from that. Should lock myself in my room and pretend I don't feel this pull between us."
"But?" The word was little more than the slightest movement of her lips.
"But I can't." The confession hung between us for three heartbeats. "I can't stay away from you. Can't stop thinking about you. Can't fucking breathe right when you're not near me, and I don't know what the hell that means except that I'm already lost."
Something shifted in her eyes as she stared at me. Softened. "You're not lost," she whispered. "Maybe you're found." She shrugged a little. "Maybe we're both found."
Her softly spoken words roared through me, and that last thread of resistance snapped.
I released her wrists and moved around the bar with vampire speed, crowding into her space before she could retreat. Before I could think better of it. Before fear could override the need burning through my veins like fire.
Leaning over her from behind, I caged her in against the bar, touching her only with my body, my hands gripping the wood like my life depended on it.
Her warmth seeped through the thin cotton of my T-shirt to warm my chest, and I ducked my head, the tip of my nose skimming her jawline as I breathed her scent into my lungs so deep I'd never forget it.
"Elias." My name on her lips heated my blood to the boiling point.
"Tell me to stop." I moved away just far enough that she could turn to face me, then backed her against the bar again, my hands wrapping around her hips. "Tell me you don't want this."
"I can't." Her fingers fisted in my shirt, pulling me closer even as her eyes reflected the same fear I felt. "I've been trying to tell myself that for days, and I can't."
"Then gods help us both." Burying one hand in her wild hair, I crashed my mouth against hers.
The kiss detonated between us like a bomb.
Her lips were softer than I'd imagined, warmer.
Her taste sweet and desperate and uniquely her.
I growled low in my throat, my fangs throbbing, aching to sink into her soft flesh.
She kissed me back with a hunger that matched my own, her fingers tangling in my hair, her body arching into mine like she was trying to crawl inside my skin.
I lifted her onto the bar in one smooth motion, stepping between her thighs and dragging her back against me until her legs wrapped my hips and no space remained. The small sound she made—half gasp, half moan—nearly shattered what remained of my sanity.
"Three days," I growled against her mouth, trailing kisses along her jaw. "Three days I've been trying not to think about this."
"I know." Her head fell back, giving me access to the column of her throat. "I know."
I dragged the tips of my fangs against her pulse point, and we both shuddered as it hammered against my lips, begging me to pierce it.
The sound of her blood rushing through her veins was the sweetest music I'd ever heard.
And her scent… gods! her scent… it was nearly overwhelming now.
Earth and rain and arousal so thick I could taste it on the back of my tongue.
Her hands were everywhere, sliding under my shirt, mapping the muscles of my back, pulling me closer.
I couldn't get enough.
My hands found the buttons of her vest and started to push the fabric aside. I needed to touch her. Needed to taste—
She went rigid beneath me for a split second before she grabbed my wrists. "No."
Somehow, that single word cut through the haze of my lust. I froze.
"Not—" Her breathing was ragged. "Not yet. Please."
I drew back and looked at her face and I saw the desire there, yes, but also fear. "Talin." I gentled my touch, meeting her eyes. They were wild, pupils blown with desire, yet edged with something that looked like panic. "We don't have to—"
Tears filled her eyes, but her voice was strong. "The vest stays on."
"Okay." I didn't understand it, but I could see this was important to her. Could see the vulnerability in her eyes that she was trying so hard to hide. "Okay, baby. Whatever you need."
She blinked. And her expression softened again. "You called me baby."
"Is that all right?"
Instead of answering, she pulled me down into another kiss. This one was slower, deeper, a surrender and a claiming all at once. I felt her power wrapping around us, those silver threads weaving between each other like a net.
I was going to drown in her.
"Elias." My name was a whimper, a plea, and I eagerly gave her what she needed.
I kissed her like she was the only thing keeping me tethered to this earth.
My hands explored everywhere I could reach without removing the vest she clung to like armor, learning the shape of her, the sounds she made when I touched certain places over others.
It was all I could do not to rip off her clothes and mine and bury my cock so deep inside of her she'd taste my come.
As if she could read my thoughts, she wrapped her legs around my waist and ground against me, and all rational thought fled entirely.
My mouth trailed back to her throat. Her pulse called to me, steady and strong and hers, and the vampire in me rose to the surface. Hungry. Possessive. Demanding. My aching fangs lengthened fully, ready to bite. To feed.
I shouldn't. I knew I shouldn't. But the need was too overwhelming, too primal, a force I couldn't control.
"Need to taste you." The words came out more growl than speech as the tips of my fangs grazed her skin again, my cock straining against my jeans. "Please, Talin. Need to taste you."
She should have said no. Should have pushed me away. Should have recognized the danger of a vampire on the edge of losing all control.
Instead, she tilted her head to the side, baring her throat to me.
I didn't let myself think. Didn't let myself question. I just struck.
Faster than a striking snake, my fangs sank into the soft flesh where her neck met her shoulder, and her blood hit my tongue like liquid fire.
Oh, GODS.
The moment it hit my tongue, the world around us shattered into fragments of light and sensation until time stood perfectly still.
Better than the finest whiskey, it poured down my throat and burned through me like molten gold, every nerve ending in my body lighting up at once in a symphony of pleasure so intense it bordered on pain.
My vision went white, then sharpened with brutal clarity.
Sharper than it had ever been before. I could see everything.
The individual strands of her hair. The faint sheen of sweat on her skin.
The sparkling threads tangling around us.
I could feel everything. Her heartbeat. The pulse of her life beneath my lips.
The tension in her muscles. The heat radiating from her core.
I could taste everything. Her fear. Her desire. Her power flowing into me.
And gods, the taste. The fucking taste of her.
Cinnamon and wildfire. Dark sin and bright magic. Something fundamentally Talin that I'd never experienced with anyone else. It wasn't just blood. It was essence, soul, every part of her distilled into something so perfect I nearly collapsed under the weight of it.
And as I drank, the mate bond slammed into place with the force of a freight train.
I knew. Absolutely. Irrevocably. That she was MINE.
Every possessive instinct I had roared to life. She was mine to protect. Mine to claim. Mine to keep.
Forever.
I drank deeper. I couldn't help it. I needed more. Needed all of her. My hands tightened on her waist, pulling her harder against me. She made a sound—pleasure, pain, I couldn't tell—and the combination nearly undid me.
My cock was so hard it felt like it was going to fucking explode, my entire body shaking. Trembling with the strain of not giving in to every dark, possessive urge currently shredding me apart.
Talin's fingers dug into my shoulders, her legs tightening around my waist as she made small, desperate sounds that nearly broke me. I could feel her pleasure through the connection of blood and magic, could taste it on my tongue, and it was the most erotic thing I'd ever experienced.
More. Need more. Need everything.
The thought barely registered as rational.
It was pure vampire instinct, ancient and absolute, demanding I complete the bond.
Demanding I claim her in every way possible until there was no question, no doubt, no possibility of her ever belonging to anyone else.
To give her my blood in return so I'll have her forever.
My free hand slid to her throat, tilting her head further back, and another pull of blood sent a wave of pleasure through my system so intense that my knees nearly buckled.
Perfect. She's perfect. Mine. Always mine.
Somewhere beneath the overwhelming need, a tiny voice of reason was screaming at me. Warning me. Telling me I was losing control in a way I'd never lost it before. That I was dangerously close to taking too much…
With a monumental effort that cost me everything, I forced my fangs to retract.
Forced myself to pull back even though every instinct I possessed screamed in protest. I sealed the wounds with my tongue, something between a caress and a claiming, delighting in the way Talin shuddered against me as I did.
I stumbled backward. Put distance between us before I lost what little control I'd managed to cling to. When I finally raised my head to look at her, a low, satisfied growl rose within my chest.
Her eyes were glazed with pleasure, her lips swollen from my kisses. She was the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen.
Slowly, she raised her hand and pressed it against her throat where I'd bitten her.
I tracked every tiny movement.
"Elias? Are you okay? You're shaking."
I was. My entire body trembled with aftershocks of pleasure and need and absolute, terrifying knowledge. I opened my mouth to answer her, but no words came, because how could I explain what I'd just experienced?
How could I form words past the overwhelming certainty, the bone-deep knowledge that had taken root in my chest.
She was MINE.
My fated mate.
And I'd just tasted her.
There was no going back from this now. No pretending it was anything else.
For me, the bond was sealed, permanent, irrevocable.
I could still taste her on my tongue, could still feel her essence singing through my veins.
Could feel the place where our souls had recognized each other and locked together like pieces of a puzzle.
I would never be able to feed from anyone else. Not after this. My body wouldn't accept anyone else now. Not after knowing what she tasted like. She'd ruined me for anyone else in a single moment, and the possessive satisfaction that thought brought should have terrified me.
It did fucking terrify me.
But more than that—gods help me—it felt right.
And that was so wrong.
"I..." I stepped back from her, and the separation felt like I was tearing off my own skin with every inch. I couldn't stop shaking.
"You're scaring me." She slid off the bar on unsteady legs.
Gods, I'd taken too much. Why did I take so much?
"What's wrong?"
"Nothing's wrong." Everything was wrong. Everything had changed in the space of a heartbeat, and I had no idea how to process it. "I just... I need… I have to go." The words tore out of me.
"What? No. Elias, wait—"
But I was already moving. Already heading for the door. If I stayed, I would do something irrevocable. Would pull her back into my arms and never let go. Would claim her so thoroughly that the whole city would know she was mine.
And she deserved better than that. Better than a vampire who couldn't control his own instincts. Who'd nearly lost himself in the taste of her blood.
I made it to the alley before my knees gave out.
Slumped against the brick wall, I pressed my palms to my eyes and tried to breathe through the overwhelming sensations still flooding my system. Her taste. Her scent. The feel of her in my arms.
MINE.
The word pulsed through me like a heartbeat. Like the one truth I'd ever known.
My fangs ached. My cock was painfully swollen. My instincts urging me to go back inside, to finish what we'd started.
But I couldn't. Not yet. Not until I had some control back. Not until I could look at her without seeing prey and possession and mine written in every thought.
I'd spent over a century building walls. Creating order. Maintaining control.
She'd shattered it all in less than a week.
And I didn't know whether to worship her for it, or run as fast and far as I could.