Chapter Six The Apparition
Chapter Six:
The Apparition
Bash
“Who the fuck did it?” I ask, standing over my bandmates like a disappointed father. “I know it was one of you because the public doesn’t know about the fucking Goldfish. Only you guys do.”
I’m not mad they put the snacks I shared with my ghost in my trailer, I’m mad at the note they left with it.
“It wasn’t us,” Jonah snaps. “No one cares about your ghost but you, it’s just a story from like twenty fucking years ago. Can I go now?”
Yas smacks the back of his head. “Bet it was you. Jealous no one fawns all over the bassist, JoJo?”
“Fuck off,” he growls, but to my surprise he doesn’t use this opportunity to escape. “If it was me we all know the food would have been opened.”
They’re about to make a joke of it all again, and I can’t let them. “I don’t give a shit about the food, I just want to know why you left a thank you note. Is that supposed to be some kind of closure for me so I shut the hell up about it?”
“It literally wasn’t any of us,” Levi says confidently. “We’ve been in Yas’ trailer the last two hours.”
“Bullshit, someone could have slipped away. You don’t pay attention to shit going on around you.” I look at them all and release a breath. Fuck it. “I want all of you to write the words thank you so I can compare.”
Levi laughs at me like I’ve lost my mind, but I relax slightly when Sidney brings a sheet of paper over to entertain my lunacy.
“Just do it,” he says gently, handing it to Levi first. “Pretend you’re signing an autograph for me.”
He softens slightly for my handler and does as asked.
They all do. Almost every single one of them leave some sort of crude note or call me a name underneath it, but not one of their handwriting matches where it counts.
I knew it wouldn’t, yet I still know it had to be one of them.
There is no one else. “Fine. Sidney, can I talk to you in my trailer?”
I leave without a glance back, ignoring their snickering as he follows me out. Neither of us say anything until we’re safely inside and I’m sure we weren’t followed.
“Do you want me to write it as well?” he asks, and I don’t miss the way he tears Levi’s off and pockets it. “It wasn’t me, but I’m happy to prove it.”
“No, I know you wouldn’t do that. Can you get me one of those nanny cam things? I don’t care if it’s a stuffed bear or fucking orangutang, but it will help me not feel like I’m slowly losing my mind this tour if I had something. Don’t tell anyone about it though.”
Sidney hesitates like he wants to talk me out of it, then nods.
“I’ll get it done this afternoon and text you the login information.
For what it’s worth, I don’t think it was any of them.
They may not understand what she means to you but they wouldn’t risk pissing you off like that halfway through a tour. ”
Part of me knows he’s right, but — “Who then? Who could get past security and into a trailer I’m 90% sure I locked? Darius said he didn’t see anyone suspicious walking around.”
“Darius also spends most of his time watching TikTok,” he reminds me. “Have you considered the possibility that your ghost of a sad girl was real and she’s trying to reach out?”
Shaking my head, I collapse back on my bed with a sigh. “No, because if she was real, why the hell would she wait until after that dumb interview? It’s more plausible that someone is fucking with me or some girl is going to swoop in and pretend she’s her just to use me.”
I didn’t mean to say that so blatantly, but here we are.
”You’re right, next to it being your band mates, that is the most plausible explanation. But what if the reason she waited until after the interview was because she didn’t think you remembered her? And now she’s worried that you’ll never believe her because of it?”
I give him the most deadpan stare I can muster as I pretend I’m not actually considering that option. “And she... what? Broke in here just to leave a thank you note after all this time and didn’t even leave me her phone number? Was that supposed to help me believe she’s not a ghost?”
He sighs, pulling his phone out of his pocket. “I’ll get you that camera.”
“Thank you. You’re the best handler in the world, you know that?”
I give him the most genuine smile I can muster, because you catch more bees with honey or some shit, right?
“You make it easy,” he counters. “You might be one of the last rockstars who isn’t addicted to anything.”
“Just ghosts, huh? Could be worse, but we all know how much I hate coke, and uppers in general give me crippling anxiety. Could use a nice downer though, if you’re feeling generous enough. What do you have on you for Levi?”
I know he has something, he always does, but I have a show in a few hours so something tells me he’s about to lie.
“Just a handful of Xanax. Do you need one?”
He’s trusting me to tell him the truth, but at this point I don’t know what that is. Do I need one? Probably not. But a good night’s rest would help more than anything else, so I nod. “I’ll wait until after the show though. Let me have two.”
He plops them on the table next to the snacks and pockets the rest. “I’ll be back in a little bit. Before I go though, don’t forget to let me know if you want anyone to come to the after-party. You haven’t said much the last few shows.”
That’s because my mind has been focused on one girl in particular, and for a while I didn’t know she was real.
I know now though.
I felt her soft skin, smelled her sweet perfume, and witnessed her breathtaking blush as her body seemed to react to me in a way she didn’t expect.
Every other face is still a blur, but not hers.
It’s still as clear as the moon on a cloudless night, and leaves me craving more when the sun rises.
I need more of her to disconnect the two ghosts in my mind — I need to stop trying to merge them into one.
My sad girl is gone, but this blue-eyed beauty is here for the tour, so what is stopping me from welcoming this distraction? Only myself.
“Yeah. Her. You know who I mean.”
I meet his gaze as the corner of his mouth quirks up. “She has a friend as well. Both, or just her?”
“Both so she’s more comfortable, but not for the ways I’ve asked in the past.”
I’m definitely losing my mind. Last tour I’d have been all for a threeway, but something is changing inside of me this time and I don’t know what it is. I also don’t even have a clue what her friend looks like. I think someone said she was blonde?
“I’ll let them know.” He heads for the door, then pauses. “Where did you grow up again?”
“Blackridge. Why?”
“No reason. See you in a bit.”
The door swings shut behind him, and I have a feeling he’s going to try and find my girl. Good luck, Sid. Whether she was real or not, that doesn’t make her any less of a ghost. What is he going to do? Google sad girls that lived in Blackridge for two months? Nah.
She’s gone.
But my new ghost is definitely real, and where I should be pointing my thoughts. Not the past.
She seemed receptive to me during the meet and greet, but she also seemed insanely nervous, so I’m curious if she’ll accept the after party invitation at all.
By the time I’m ready to perform, I make the decision to reach out to her a little more tonight, and see if I can make the crowd disappear around her like she does to me.
I can’t be the only one losing my mind here.