Chapter Ten Gravity
Chapter Ten:
Gravity
Bash
Whatever the hell Jonah is saying fades to the background as the notification for movement in my trailer goes off.
I was positive it was one of them who broke in last time, but now that I’m staring at every member of my band while someone is currently moving around my private space, I know none of them were lying.
I should call Darius or check the feed to see who it is, but without thinking, I sprint out of Yasmin’s trailer and rush over to mine.
Whoever it is wants to fuck with me, so I need to catch them by surprise and make them regret the second they decided to imitate my ghost. The fact that people are so fucked up has me angrier with every single step.
By the time I’m yanking the door open, my body is already in fight mode, but when I see who it is everything goes numb.
It’s her. Not the ghost from my childhood, but the one I allowed to seep under my skin and play me like a fucking fool.
She looks like a deer in the headlights as she sets the same snacks down as last time, and I force myself not to think about how good she looks with my marks on her neck. I can’t.
“What the fuck are you doing?”
My voice sounds colder than it ever has before, and I know she hears it. Her face falls, her little hands ball into fists, but she stands tall.
“I wanted to talk to you. Say sorry for rushing out last night and maybe finish the conversation we were having.”
I turn my gaze away with a huff, because I can’t even look at her right now. “The conversation where I was about to fuck you in my producer’s kitchen? Yeah, I was hoping we’d finish that conversation, too. You could have just said that though, so why the theatrics?”
I motion toward the junk food that feels more like a betrayal than anything, watching her face as she scrambles for an answer. I know what she’s going to say before she says it.
“Bash, it was me. In the treehouse in Blackridge, it was me. I startled you when I climbed up the ladder the first time and asked if you were a ghost. My ribs were broken and I begged you not to tell anyone you saw me. It was me.”
And there it is.
Sighing, I give myself five seconds to mourn what could have been and then slip back on the mask I need to stop trying to remove.
“Yeah, you and about fifty other girls in my DM’s,” I quip, closing the distance between us a little more. “The difference between you and them is you’ve already had me. It wasn’t enough, huh?”
”I didn’t want it to be like that, it shouldn’t have happened like this. I — fuck. You really don’t believe me.”
“Yeah, sure. Where have you been all this time?”
I’m directly in front of her now, towering over her as she flinches.
People telling the truth don’t flinch.
“We moved away, like we always did. When I was fifteen, my parents were finally arrested and I was thrown into foster care. I had nothing to go on but a nickname, do you know how long it took me to find you?”
“How long?”
I’ve been making music since I was seventeen, and in the public eye not too long after that, so I’d love to know why she never came forward until after that interview.
Huffing, she shakes her head. “To be sure it was you and not some other Bash? A while. And even once I figured it out, I didn't think there was any way you’d remember me or even care. Then I saw the interview.”
“The famous interview,” I deadpan. “I was a little high when I did that so I don’t remember everything I said.“
It’s a lie, but she doesn’t know that.
“Watch it again. I have that interview memorized, and you never mentioned the Goldfish, the first thing I said to you, my broken ribs. You also never mentioned that the second time, I was near dead from starvation. Or that twice, you went to your treehouse to find the snacks you left for me gone, but I wasn’t there, and then one day I quit taking the snacks.
Or that I was the first person to ever tell you you had orange eyes.
” She tries to step back a little, but doesn’t make it far.
“I never wanted to sleep with you. That wasn’t what this was about.
I know it seems like that now because I was so willing but it’s not my fault you’re so hot!
And Sidney made it clear that was the only thing you wanted me for, so I panicked and I just went along with it. I’m sorry.”
She finally looks up to meet my eyes, and for a split second, I can almost see my sad girl. Almost.
But she isn’t real.
She was someone I created in my head when I thought life couldn’t get any worse. She gave me the strength to keep going, showed me having religious parents was better than having parents that starved and beat me, and more than anything, she was my muse.
She existed in my head because I needed her, but I don’t need her anymore.
I don’t need her in my mind if she’s going to be used against me.
I should have never opened up about that story.
I’ve spoken about my ghost a few times over the years — who knows what I’ve said in other interviews, and if she’s a good enough stalker, she could have gotten all of those details from different sources.
“That’s what every guy wants to hear, y’know that? I didn’t want to sleep with you, I just went along with it.”
“That’s not what I meant! I... Bash, let me start over. I just wanted to talk to you, that’s all. And then you winked at me and kissed my hand and I’m not fucking blind, okay? You do things to me I wasn’t expecting.”
It takes everything not to applaud her acting skills, because for a second there I almost believed her. “And how about now, hmm? Do you still just want to talk?”
I grab her hip and swipe my thumb over the birthmark I wish I didn’t know existed, nuzzling into her neck to slide my tongue up her quickening pulse point.
Her fingertips close around my shirt, but she doesn’t stop me. “This is what I mean,” she gasps. “I...”
Yeah, she wore a skimpy little skirt here because she wanted to talk.
She’d stop me if that was the case, demand I believe her, yet all she does is melt into me with a breathy little gasp that has me rock hard.
She lets me back her all the way up to the wall, and when I slip my hand up her skirt and tease her pussy, I find her already soaked for me. “Have you thought about last night as much as I have?”
I slide two fingers inside of her before she can respond, curling against the spot that made her fall apart.
“More,” she whispers. “I haven’t stopped thinking about it and how badly I wished I’d have told you before.”
If she keeps talking about that I’m going to lose it, so I crash my mouth to hers to shut her up.
Stop trying to make this more than it is.
Maybe we could have gotten there without the bullshit, but she had to play the game every other wannabe groupie is trying to play right now, and I refuse to let her toy with my heart.
I should have kept my sad girl to myself. It’s my fault I gave the public free ammunition and expected Alaina not to use it. I guess I needed this reality check.
I don’t say anything as I spin her around and tug down her thong, but once I have my cock out, I give her one opportunity to stop everything and convince me she’s telling the truth. “Do you want me to fuck you, Alaina?”
Her face is pressed against the wall, pupils blown as her body yearns for my cock, but I hear her loud and clear when she whispers, “Yes.”
Color fills her cheeks like she’s ashamed, and she should be. She basically just admitted to lying.
I’ll hate myself later, but I shove my dick all the way inside of her raw, burying as deep as I can go so she’s completely pinned. “Fuck, Alaina. You feel even better this way.”
Her toes scrape the ground as one hand comes back to grip my hip and the other flattens against the wall. “Bash... you’re not wearing a condom.”
“You don’t want to feel me raw?”
Don’t pretend you don’t want my cum. I bet you’re ovulating right now, and that’s why you broke in here to be fucked.
“I— oh, God,” she moans, eyelids fluttering as I speed up and the trailer shakes. “Bash!”
Her cunt spasms, squeezing the fuck out of me. For a girl who didn’t want this, it took her less than two minutes to come.
“That’s right. If you’re going to use me, fucking use me,” I growl, my hand clamping over her mouth so I don’t have to hear her deny what we both know is happening.
I lose myself in the moment a little. She feels so damn good I never want it to end, but it’s been so long since I fucked without a condom I find myself teetering the edge not five minutes after her first one.
She’s come at least three times for me, and every time she did, I swear her cunt was doing all it could to milk the cum from my balls.
“Fuck it, you can have it. I’m gonna come inside you,” I warn her, then pin our bodies together so I can pump her pussy full.
Alaina pants behind my hand as her body tenses, but she takes it all.
Every last drop.
My head falls to her shoulder in shame, because that was the best nut of my life, and it was the dumbest fucking thing I’ve ever done. What the hell was I thinking?
I pull out quickly and spin her around to see her face, a perfect mix of shock and unease. “Do you feel better?” she asks shakily, but a little sharply. “Can we talk now?”
“Nah. You got what you wanted, didn’t you? You can go now.”
Being cold to her feels wrong, further proving I let her too far under my skin. No dodging bullets here, I let her tear straight through me.
“Bash, wait. Please.”
Desperation fills her voice, but I don’t even look at her. I can’t... until she sniffles.
Glancing up, I see tears filling her eyes and catch one of them fall down her cheek.
I stare at the drop on my thumb before watching the next one slide down her face, avoiding her gaze a second longer before I meet it. “That’s what I thought. Beautiful.”
I turn away and yank open the door for her to leave, and it’s a mark of how determined she is when she doesn’t immediately run out.
“All I wanted to say was thank you,” she says softly. “You saved my life back then and I don’t think I’d be alive today if it wasn’t for you. Believe me or don’t, I don’t care. That’s all I really wanted anyway.”
She storms off, and I half-heartedly reach out to grab her. She slips through my fingers and runs away, her dark hair swinging behind her with each step she takes away from me. This might be the last time I ever see her, and I need to remember that’s a good thing. She can’t use me anymore.
After I hide her underwear under my pillow, I break my lamp by slamming it against the wall, then I grab both of those Xanax and wash them down with enough alcohol to make me forget everything that just happened.
I just wish it worked.