Chapter 30
Oakley
My chest feels almost unbearably tight as Lawson and I kiss, the man’s mouth soft but his desperation clear. His leg hooks around my hip, tugging me closer, his grip in my hair unyielding.
I think there was a deeper reason I was so hesitant to return to Darling all those months ago. To return home. And it had everything to do with this, right here.
With the newly single man I didn’t think I’d ever have the chance to love like this.
I suppose in the end I never could stay away from Lawson Darling for long. It was my undoing. And I’d unravel all over again given the chance.
Lawson’s mouth holds me captive. I want to tell him I’m not going anywhere, but I can’t seem to find the willpower to come up for air. Oxygen seems unimportant when I’ve got this man at my fingertips, urging me to give him all the things he’s been missing out on for years.
Pleasure. True pleasure. Happiness, even. Admiration. Respect. Love.
When I flex my hips, Lawson groans. It’s a low sound, pleading, so I do it again, the way his body hugs me tight making me want to stay here forever. He’s silk inside, hard muscle out, demanding and pliant both, so many contradictions I’ve always been fascinated by.
“Oak,” the man says, breaking from my lips to suck in air. His breaths pant from him, a sheen of sweat beading on his forehead.
“What is it, princess?”
He grunts as I sink inside of him slowly, one of his hands on my ass cheek as if wanting to feel the flex of muscle. “Need…” He puffs out another breath. “Could you talk to me? I wanna hear you.”
A smile curls my lips, Lawson’s eyes looking dazed already. “Yeah? You want me to whisper sweet nothings in your ear?”
“Don’t make me ask twice,” he groans out, giving my ass cheek a slap before hanging on again.
I bark a husky laugh, tempted to flick the man’s forehead in retaliation.
Instead, I draw my lips around to his ear, brushing the sensitive skin there as I roll my hips languidly.
“Whenever you wanna get dicked, I’ll be here for you, princess.
Fast, slow, anything you want. If you want my mouth on your cock, my tongue in your ass, my lips covering every inch of your body, you’ll have that, too.
You were made for this. Do you realize that?
You were made to be treasured and worshiped and loved. ”
Lawson’s chest heaves beneath mine, his own hips shifting in time to my deep, measured thrusts. “And you?”
“I was made to love you.”
His breath hitches, his hand in my hair flexing.
“My touch, my kisses, they’re all yours,” I say, my lips ghosting over his ear. “Every last one of them. Yours.”
Lawson tugs my head around, claiming my mouth, the urgency in his kiss and the way he pulls at me making it clear what he wants. I slip a hand under his ass, lift his hips off the bed, and go to town.
Lawson’s cock leaves a mess of precum between us as I fuck him as hard as I dare.
Hard enough that he’ll feel it long after.
He relishes it; it’s easy to see and feel and hear.
Every grunt he lets out. Every bite of his teeth against my lips.
Every flex of his hand on my ass or hip or back asking for more, more, more.
When Lawson gets close to the edge, I pull him away from it. He doesn’t offer complaint, heat building between us as soft moans pepper the air. I make it last as long as I possibly can.
Fucking him slow. Hard again when I know he can take it. All the while, our mouths find one another again and again, stubble rough, kisses sweet and filthy.
When Lawson whispers my name with an edge of desperation, his breath stuttering, I reach between us and wrap my hand around his dick. His reaction is instantaneous. The hard inhale. The near-bruising grip on my back.
My voice comes out hoarse. “Take me with you, princess. There’s nowhere else I’d rather be.”
Lawson pulls me down into a hard kiss, his body wringing my cock as he locks in pleasure.
It kicks off my own orgasm, the raw, tortured groan he lets out tugging me after him like a hook.
My hips punch, Lawson sucks in air, and I can feel it.
Right in my chest. That certainty that after all this time, after so many years, I’ve found the person I’m meant to be with.
My very best friend.
Lawson’s hand soothes over my nape as I continue to shudder. He says something, but I can’t hear the words past my own breaths.
“What was that?” I ask, my face tucked against the crook of Lawson’s neck, where the smell of my soap mixed with him is strong.
He presses his lips to my ear, his voice deep and soft. “I said all of my kisses are yours, too, Oak. I gave you my first. And I plan on giving you my last.”
My heart gives a great big thump as I tighten my grip on Lawson, my body weight pinning him to the bed. He doesn’t seem to mind. In fact, I think he likes it with the way he’s holding me to him, his hand still running rhythmically over my neck and shoulders.
“Can I ask you something?” he says.
I nod against him.
“Why do you call me princess? You said something once about pampering me. Is that why?”
I hum before pulling my face from Lawson’s neck. Carefully, I slip from his body, transfixed for a moment by the cum leaking out of his ass. I settle back over him, our chests pressed together, my elbows on the bed keeping me from crushing him completely.
“There’s this term,” I explain. “Pillow princess. Ever heard of it?”
He shakes his head.
“It’s like… I guess the best way I can think to describe it is someone who prefers receiving pleasure to giving it. Whether that’s being railed against a kitchen countertop or…lying in bed comfortably with a pillow under their head while their partner brings them off.”
Lawson’s brow pinches. “That doesn’t exactly sound like a positive.”
“It’s not a bad thing, Law,” I assure him. “We’ve already established I like making you feel good.”
“But you don’t…you don’t want me to participate more? Am I doing enough for you? ’Cause I can—”
I bring my lips to Lawson’s, stopping his words before they can form.
The kiss is short but steady. “I don’t want you feeling like you have to perform just to make me happy.
This makes me happy.” I think of how best to explain it to him.
“Try to imagine what it’s like to look at someone and get mesmerized by every dip and valley of their body.
Imagine getting turned on by the way they move and sound and how they react to your touch.
And then imagine being told you have free rein to enjoy it. That’s not a bad thing, Law.”
He’s quiet for a moment. “It doesn’t work like that for me.”
“I know. And that’s okay. It just means we fit in a way that works for both of us.”
I lean onto one elbow to brush Lawson’s hair back from his forehead. There are subtle wrinkles carved into the skin beside his eyes, a few in the furrow of his brow.
“Law… I don’t want you to be anyone but who you are. You’re welcome to touch me however you want, always. But I will never tire of being the one to bring you pleasure. Frankly, I can’t think of anything hotter.”
Lawson lets out a slow breath. I wait for him to quarrel further, but all he says is, “All right.”
“Yeah? You believe me?”
“You don’t lie to me, Oak. So yes, I believe you.”
“Good,” I say on a sigh. “Because I quite like you being my princess.”
The flush on Lawson’s cheeks is a mighty endearing sight. He clears his throat. “You just like me bossing you around.”
“Excuse you,” I say, laughter in my tone. “I tolerate it at best.”
“Love it,” Lawson combats. He’s not wrong. “Now run us a shower, would you? You made a mess of me again.”
“Ah, Christ,” I grumble, even as I dutifully lean back and help Lawson from the bed.
We make a quick dinner once showered, eating outside while the sun lasts, our hair drying in the breeze. Bell lies nearby, her tail swishing every once in a while to chase off the occasional fly.
“I saw Laura earlier,” Lawson says unprompted.
I finish chewing my bite of food before responding. “Yeah?”
He nods, looking out over the expansive backyard, his gaze distant. “I didn’t ask her what you two talked about.”
“You can, Law. It’s not anything I’m trying to hide. I just—”
“I know,” he cuts in. “You’re protecting me. I don’t need to know the specifics. I’d like to remain friendly with Laura. For Wendy’s sake. But we’re not ever gonna be friends again, Oak. There’s too much hurt there already.”
I nod slowly, my gaze boring into the side of Lawson’s head. “I’ll be as nice as I can,” I tell him. “But I’m not sure I can be forgiving.”
Lawson’s whiskey eyes meet mine, something near to a smirk on his face. “I know, Oak. You understand now why I can’t excuse what Stevie did to you?”
I puff out a breath, my chest so dang tight. “Yeah, I guess I can.”
He nods once, satisfied.
“Do you need to head back to the ranch tonight?” I ask, stacking our empty dishes. “First day of school tomorrow.”
Lawson hums. “No. I’m not going back.”
I nearly drop the silverware in my hands. “You mean tonight?”
Those eyes meet mine again. “What do you think?”
“Lawson,” I breathe.
He twists in his chair, taking the forks from my grip and setting them back on the table. “Why do you think I never found my own place? The only place that felt like home was here. I didn’t want to settle for second best.”
My pulse skips frantically, Lawson’s thumb smoothing over the side of my neck like he can tell. His eyes hold mine as he pulls the ground swiftly out from under my feet.
“I don’t want to say goodbye to you at the end of the day anymore, Oak. I want you from saddle to sunup and every hour in between.”
“Fucking hell, Law. You’re not even gonna wait for me to ask you to move in?”
He shrugs one shoulder, his thumb running over my jaw now, as if he simply can’t stop himself from touching. “You would’ve gotten there eventually.”
I let out a hoarse laugh. “So we’re living together? Just like that?”
“I reckon so. Feels right, doesn’t it?”
I catch Lawson’s wandering thumb with my lips, kissing the pad of it. “When do you want to move your stuff over?”
“We’ll find time,” he says. “But not tonight. First day of school tomorrow and all. I need my beauty sleep.”
I huff a small laugh. “You do realize you’ll have to tell your family, right? You can’t just move out without saying a word to them.”
Lawson groans. “Would they even notice?”
“Uh, yes. They absolutely would. It’ll be fine. They’ll hug you and congratulate us, and your dad will probably cry.”
That has Lawson chuckling. “He is the crier of the family.”
“Mhm.”
“My brothers will throw a bonfire,” Lawson adds, a small smile on his face. “Wendy will threaten you.”
“Wait, what?”
“And we’ll need to tell Laura. So she knows where to find me if need be.”
Lawson ignores my grunt.
“It’ll be good, Oak,” he says, the late evening sun hitting his face in a way that causes my breath to hitch. I’ll be looking at that face for a long time to come. Years. Decades. The rest of our lives, quite possibly.
“Yeah,” I agree roughly. “It’ll be great.”
When Lawson and I get inside, we load our dishes and silverware into the dishwasher before getting ready for bed. We brush our teeth. Take care of other necessities. Lawson gives me a fond smile when I ask about his ass, assuring me all is well.
As I watch the man climb into my bed, I’m hit once again with the conviction that this is it. It really is. No more first dates. No more trying to find someone to build a life with.
I have that person. And we’ve already built a life.
It’s all the years we’ve traveled together. All the truths we’ve shared. It’s riding horses through the Montana wilderness and sitting quietly inside while Lawson reads a book. It’s pages and pages of memories we’ve written, each one part of a bigger whole.
Lawson looks over when I open the top drawer of my dresser. I root through my selection of socks, finding the old pair I never wear anymore. Unfolding them carefully, I pull the small ceramic thimble from within.
I can hear Lawson’s breath catch. The thimble was his mother’s once upon a time. There are flowers hand-painted on the surface, small and delicate. The entire thimble is delicate, one tiny chip in its edge the only thing marring its otherwise perfect visage.
“You kept it,” Lawson says, his voice rife with emotion.
“Of course I did. You gave it to me, didn’t you?”
I set the thimble atop the dresser, a tiny piece of my heart I was always afraid to show. Not anymore.
“You remember my promise?” I ask.
Lawson swallows hard as I approach the bed. “We’ll always be together.”
“That’s right,” I tell him, one knee atop the mattress as I lean close, Lawson’s face inches from mine. “The two of us.”
Lawson tugs me down until there’s no space between us. His lips meet mine, the answer there clear as day.
Forever.