Chapter 33
Lawson
“I remember when you got that,” my mom says, her voice coming from the doorway.
I look down at the copy of Peter and Wendy I’m holding, having paused in my packing to rifle through the pages. “Yeah?”
“You were six,” she says, stepping into the room. Her eyes sweep the space, this bedroom I was raised in. It looks far different now than it did back then. “It was your grandpa’s first. Do you remember him?”
“Barely,” I admit. My memories of Grandpa Darling are fuzzy. But I do recall sitting with him on the old couch downstairs, back before my parents replaced it, my grandpa reading to me. Most likely this book.
“You’re like him in a lot of ways,” my mom says, sitting at the edge of the bed. “He was always quiet. Spent a lot of time in his head. I worried for him, at times. The same I worry for you.”
“There’s nothing wrong with being quiet.”
“No, there isn’t,” she agrees. “But even as a child, you were so serious, Lawson. When Jackson came along, that stayed the same. You looked out for him. Then Colton. Eventually, Remi. The only kid you ever really played with was Oakley.”
I nod, my fingers tracing the aged corner of the book. “We played Neverland a lot.”
“I know,” my mom says, a smile in her voice.
“And I was so grateful to see it. Any good parent only ever wants the best for their children. Seeing you now, the way you’ve been these past few months…
” She blows out a quiet breath. “It’s like you’re a kid again.
The version of yourself that would steal wooden spoons from the kitchen so you and Oakley could pretend they were swords.
He’s always been good for you, Lawson. He complements you.
And you him. I couldn’t ask for anything more for my son. ”
From the corner of my eye, I see movement at the door. I don’t look, but I recognize the flash of Oakley’s belt buckle as he steps out of sight, giving me and my mom privacy. I’m glad he heard some of that. Proof that my family loves him just as much as I do.
“He’s the reason I see pixie dust,” I tell my mom.
She cocks her head gently. “Lawson, dear… Is that some euphemism I’m unfamiliar with?”
“What? No. Ah, God.”
My mom laughs as I groan.
“No,” I say again, more firmly. “I just mean… If there’s magic to be found in this life, he’s it for me.”
My mom’s eyes are wet when she squeezes my hand. She doesn’t say anything more, but she doesn’t have to.
When I get downstairs with my last box of books, Oakley is waiting.
“Everything all right?” he asks, opening the front door for me to pass through. His truck is parked just out front, the back filled with everything I packed up from my brief time living back at the ranch.
“Yeah,” I tell him. “Everything’s great.”
I slide the box into the bed of the vehicle before looking at the house. The cabin-style siding. The big windows. The metal roof reflecting the sun.
I know it’s not the last time I’ll see it. I’ll be back. And often.
But I’m traveling down a new road. Isn’t that what Colton said?
I have no doubt this one is right for me.
Oakley squeezes the back of my neck before tugging the tailgate up. With a quiet goodbye to the place I was raised, we head toward home.
Bell is lying in a shade spot when we park.
She doesn’t rouse, which tells me she’s not hungry at the moment.
Oakley and I haul my things inside, and it feels a heck of a lot like the beginning of the summer, when it was Oakley’s possessions being unloaded inside this house.
Luckily, I don’t have any furniture with me. Only clothes, trinkets, books.
Oakley brings my toiletries to the bathroom, and I leave him to it, adding my collection of hardcovers and paperbacks to his bookshelf.
It’s fairly empty, Oakley not being a huge reader himself.
Even so, I get a sense of satisfaction slipping my books in with his.
I leave Peter and Wendy for last, unable to help but open it up again.
I find the passage where Peter is watching Wendy through the window, his sadness at being left out like a soft blanket set carefully over the words.
I could sense it, that melancholy, even before I understood why the magical boy was sad over such a thing.
As it says, he has countless joys in his life.
More than most children. So why would he possibly be sad over one single thing he couldn’t have?
I get it now. That one thing represented so very much.
“Law?”
Oakley’s voice is soft as he crouches down beside me. His hand drifts over my shoulder, the touch so light, so simple, yet far more than he would have allowed himself in the past. It’s a door, a window wide open, where before there was glass.
“I’m fine,” I tell him, sensing his concern. “Just thinking.”
He hums. “Do you need some more time? There’s something I’d like to do today if you’re up for it.”
“What’s that?”
“A surprise. And no, I’m not gonna tell you. You’ll just have to trust me.”
I huff. “Easy.”
Oakley makes a pleased sound, waiting as I set the book on the shelf, the cover displayed. I swear, if I listen hard enough, I can hear the faint ticking of a clock. Standing, I follow Oakley out the door and into his truck.
My eyebrow wings up when he drives onto the road leading back to the ranch. “Is this surprise a dinner with my family?”
He snorts. “No, it’s not.”
“Hm. Horseback riding?”
“If you want,” he says. “It isn’t far, but we could get there by saddle instead of walking if you’d like.”
I glance at the sky, so bright today, even as the evening approaches. It’ll be cooling down soon, the start of fall near.
“Why not?” I answer, thinking a final summer ride with Oakley sounds just about perfect.
He shoots me a quick grin before taking the turn onto my family’s drive.
Oakley parks near the milking barn, the walk to the stables shorter from here.
A couple of the ranchers are inside, getting their horses settled before they leave for the day.
Oakley grabs gear for Clover, and I saddle up Prairie, one of the family horses who isn’t used for work.
She’s getting up there in age, but she perks up as I unlatch her stall, eager, it would seem, to go for a walk.
Once she’s ready, I swing by the tack room and grab a spare hat. I don’t wear them often, certainly not as much as Oakley does. But beyond being good for sun protection, slipping that leather on my head reminds me what it was like growing up around here. All the good parts.
Maybe I’m no cowboy when it comes down to it. But I’m a Darling. I’ll always be that.
Oakley’s smile turns into a grin when he sees me. “Looking good, cowboy.”
“You think so?”
“Mhm. All that’s missing is the rope.”
A clang comes from the direction of the horse stalls. “Gross,” Remi says, turning to grab a bag of feed. He hefts it easily.
“Sorry,” Oakley mutters. “Didn’t see you.”
“I was right here the whole time,” Remi grumbles, stalking off.
Oakley fails to cover his laugh.
“Don’t be fooled,” I tell him. “He’s not as innocent as he seems.”
Oakley holds up his hand. “Yeah, I’m gonna stop you right there. I don’t needa know.”
Chuckling, I tip my hat toward the barn doors. “Ready to take me to this surprise?”
“Sure am. About that rope, though…”
My responding laughter rings out, and Oakley looks oh so pleased with himself. Horses in tow, we head into the sun and take to the trails. Oakley doesn’t seem in any hurry to get to where we’re going, so I sit back and enjoy the ride.
“Did your dad mention we’re going camping the weekend after next?” I ask.
Oakley’s head whips my way. “What? No. My dad?”
I nod. “He hasn’t gone in a while, so I suggested we all take a trip before it gets too cold for it. You’re coming, too.”
“Oh I am, am I?” Oakley snarks, a tiny smile at the corner of his lips. “Wendy?”
“Yep. Your mom is staying home, though.”
He doesn’t look surprised. “Ten bucks—”
“We are not betting on whether or not we have sex during a family camping trip,” I say sternly. “Not happening, Oak.”
His chuckle lasts a good long while. “Whiskey?”
I sigh. “Prob’ly.”
I do my best not to be amused by Oakley’s hissed, “Yes.”
When we’ve gone a good handful of miles, Oakley pulls Clover’s reins to the side to get the horse turned around. I watch him for a moment, confused.
He looks back at me expectantly. “Coming?”
“We’re turning around?” I ask, even though it’s obvious. “Where exactly are you taking me?”
He hums. “I’ve always heard it’s not the destination but the journey that’s the important part.”
“You saying you’re happy just to spend time with me?”
“Mostly Clover,” he teases, blue-and-brown eyes filled with mirth as I sidle up next to him.
I swat his leg with my hat, and Oakley takes the opportunity to flick my forehead.
“Cut it out,” I grouse, no heat behind my words.
“You started it.”
“Jesus Christ. We’re twelve again.”
Oakley titters a laugh, looking so damn happy it stuns me for a second. My throat feels tight as I replace my hat on my head. Oakley is facing forward again, smiling serenely at the trees and dappled sun around us as our horses walk along at a leisurely pace.
“Thanks for this,” I tell him, his eyes meeting mine again. “For bringing me out here.”
“You don’t even know where we’re going yet,” he says, amusement still lingering in his tone.
“No,” I agree. “But like you said, all of this is what matters. I’ve had a real damn good life with you, Oak. Even when… Even when we were just friends. I don’t regret any of the time I’ve shared with you. And I guess I’m realizing I have a whole lot more to look forward to, don’t I?”
He eases out a careful breath. “Yeah, Law.”
“You got a little something in your eye?”
“Yeah. I do,” he huffs. “It’s my emotions, all right? You make me emotional.”
“All right.”
He huffs again, shaking his head. “You’re such a snarky little shit.”
This time, Oakley puts Clover into a trot before I can swat his leg. I chuckle, nudging my heel against Prairie to follow after him.