1. Chapter 1
Aspen
The "last" time
“Seriously. We have to stop,” I say through heaving breaths, holding a flimsy white sheet to my chest.
This will absolutely not be the last time. It probably won’t even be the last time this week. Maybe even today.
“I know,” he groans as he runs his hands through his scruffy beard, and I try not to stare longingly at him because this is just sex.
We both agreed to the terms two years ago when we realized this wasn’t a one and done.
At first, I was bummed he didn’t want more, but at the time it felt like I was getting the best of both worlds.
A little bit of Rhett, and a little freedom.
He’s deadset on not breaking the rules, and until I decide I want more, I’m okay with them.
The rules? This is just sex. And sure, it’s the best sex of my life and there have been times I have questioned if I could die from one too many orgasms, but that means there can’t be any feelings.
Flirting is fine. We try not to do it in public, but boy howdy, do I get a thrill out of flirting with Rhett in front of Weston.
Rhett not wanting to hurt my brother from our fling getting out is one of the many reasons things between us wouldn’t work.
I do fear we might be tempting fate a bit too much.
The longer we sneak around, the worse our odds get.
We’re just having fun though. Our dynamic works out great for both of us.
I mean, I’m fairly confident endless orgasms delivered by a man who is a walking, talking lumbersnack with a cowboy hat would work for just about anyone. And we have a really good friendship. I would argue that he is my best friend, if not best, at least in a really tight race for second.
I look over to him, and feel a warmth spread across my chest. There’s a few different versions of Rhett, but I like the one I have the best. The quiet and broody man who sheds it all and is hilarious.
And kind. Nope, can’t go there. These thoughts of him keep poking their head up lately.
My chest deflates the air I bottled up. I need to get to work before I feel too smushy for a man who is as emotionally available as a cactus.
“Time for me to go to work.” I shoot up, keeping most of the sheet wrapped around my body, looking around the room for my discarded clothing.
“Why are you going to work so late?” He furrows his brow and pulls his phone from the bed stand as if confirming the time.
Typically, I am a day shifter; I work seven am to seven pm at my local community hospital, so his question is warranted. “Yeah, well they had a four-hour gap they needed covered in the ER, and I like spending money.”
My brother and I are majority owners of the land, but when it comes to the ranching portion, the money maker, so to speak, I am as hands-off as humanly possible.
Shoving my hand up a cow's ass isn’t what I consider fun.
So I decided to become an ER nurse, where I have had to help remove not one, but two, carrots from different people’s rectums. Somehow they slipped and fell on a carrot, ass first. Truly, a talent.
Aside from the rectal fishing, being an ER nurse is incredibly fulfilling. It keeps me busy and I am rarely ever bored. No two days look the same, and that is the kind of spontaneity I look for in life. It’s easy to go to work when you love it.
“Well alright, do you need me to make you something to eat before you go?” He sits up on his forearms, showing off his muscled chest and arms. Sometimes it’s annoying how good looking he is.
Brushing off his offer, I say, “No, I’m good. I won’t be there super long; I’ll eat a snack when I get home before I go to bed.”
“Maybe we should have napped instead of…you know.” He gets a little shy now and averts his gaze.
I don’t share the same shyness, so I finish his sentence for him, “Fucking. I think that’s the word you are looking for, and no. Nothing makes me feel more energized than getting dicked down.” I wink at him.
His chest shakes with laughter as he flops back down into the bed. “You and your mouth... Okay. Drive safe, and let me know when you get there, please. Don’t forget your water bottle again.”
“Yes, yes. I promise to stay hydrated this shift.” I gather my strewn-about clothing and get dressed in the light from the lamp on his bedside table.
His place is the epitome of a bachelor pad.
These particular cabins on the ranch are more studio-apartment-style.
The only furniture in here is two stools under the breakfast nook, one lone loveseat, a bedside table that currently houses my dressing lamp, and a TV stand adorned with a sixty-inch flatscreen.
I have to park my car in his DIY’d garage when we do our funny business so no one knows I'm here.
How we have managed to keep this a secret for this long is shocking.
Does it really count as a secret if everyone but family knows?
Ava and Willow, two of my best girl friends, clocked it immediately.
They saw us together and knew. Lucky for me, my brother is about as intuitive as a doorknob when it comes to relationships and figuring out who is doing what with whom.
Mostly because he doesn’t care, and I highly doubt he would even think about something happening with his best friend and me.
There is some, okay, a lot, of guilt when it comes to hiding this from him.
If it was something serious, that would be different.
But it’s not. It’s just fun. In today’s modern world, I believe we would be called fuck buddies.
Friends with Benefits. Sneaky links. Rhett’s made his boundaries clear, and I'm okay with them. So there is no use causing an implosion of relationships over something temporary. Because that’s what this is.
At some point, we are going to have to move on.
“Okay, I’ll text you when I get there.” I grab my purse and make my way through his tiny little cabin. He keeps it incredibly tidy. Everything has a place. Even the remote control has its own holder. For Christmas, I’ve debated buying him a label maker.
The drive to work is not long, but not too short. Just long enough to prepare yourself on the way in, and decompress on the way back.
Some days are hard when you have a big loss.
When you have to hear the screams and sobs of families that are irrevocably broken, it hurts.
It haunts you and makes it hard to take off the mask and be a normal person when you clock out.
Those days, I am extra grateful for the drive to process my thoughts so I don’t have to carry them all the way home with me.
Here’s to hoping tonight won’t lead to that. Good vibes only today, universe. Please and thank you.