Chapter 21 #2
“You are.” My father smiles. “If you want it, that is. You will always have a choice. We love you, and will support anything you decide.”
I gasp. I can't even begin to roll that around my head. But they… love me? And are giving me a choice?
“I don’t know...” I trail off.
“It’s fine, Carina. Take all the time you need,” my mother tells me, tears still in her eyes. She gets a look on her face, then says excitedly, “Would you like to see the photo albums now?”
I let that roll around my mind for a minute. Actual photos of me, as a small child. I’m not ready, but how can I say no? I desperately need these first moments with my parents to be good ones.
Finally I say, "Yes, please. I don’t remember anything from before I was taken,” I admit.
“Oh,” my mother says, throwing her arms around me again for a hug. This time, I let her.
Words can’t describe how it feels to be held and rocked by my mother. I never thought this would ever happen for me. I cling to her, not wanting to let go. She smells like home. Vanilla, roses, and clean laundry. I cry unashamedly.
My father joins us. Valley gets up to allow him to sit down next to me. He hugs me, too and I just cry harder. He smells like pine and spices. I can’t believe my parents are hugging me.
“Wait on the photos, Dear.” My father says to my mother. Looking at us, he says, “We have a delicious meal prepared for you.
“I’ll take you all to our dining room,” my father says.
We all get up and follow him.
Valley hugs me then, whispering encouragement. This girl... I say it all the time, but she really is a special human.
When my eyes see the spread laid out for us, my mouth waters. There’s a very tender-looking roast in the center of the long table, surrounded by different veggies, potatoes, and a huge salad.
“It smells delicious,” I say.
“I will give the chef your compliments.” My father smiles at me.
“There’s dessert, too,” my mother tells us.
“Yay!” Valley and I cheer at the same time, making us both giggle.
We sit down and tuck in, filling our plates and bellies. Every single bite is utterly wonderful.
I glance around the table, my heart full seeing my guys, my bestie, and my parents all joking and smiling. My heart is practically skipping, and I’m grinning so wide it almost hurts my cheeks. In this moment, I am truly happy.
We finish our meals, and my mother gets up to grab dessert. A staff member discretely clears our plates. She brings out an enormous chocolate cake. Valley and I both groan.
Ghost laughs, addressing me. “You’re a sucker for chocolate, aren’t you, Malishka?”
“You know it!” I exclaim, making happy humming sounds when a large piece is set in front of me.
I grab my fork, popping a bite into my mouth. My eyes roll back. This is heaven. The best chocolate I’ve had so far.
“Oh my God, this is so amazing,” Valley says brightly, and I nod with her, my mouth still full.
We finally get done, and my belly is about to pop I’m so full. We file back out into the living room, taking a seat. My mother steps away to grab the photos at last.
I'm so excited to see pictures of myself as a child. My mother sits next to me, arms heavy with albums. She sets them on the coffee table in front of us, opening the one on top, putting it between us.
“This is you at birth,” she points out a younger version of herself, glowing and holding a baby in the hospital.
“Wow,” I whisper, goosebumps popping up on my arms. My parents look blissful.
She goes through so many, showing me photos from my first few years. It's when she gets to my five-year-old pictures that my heart stutters. I remember this.
Phoenyxx
Age 5
“Mommy, look at me!” I’m swinging on our new swing set, pumping my legs as high as I can.
“Be careful, Carina,” my mommy calls to me.
I love the breeze on my face as I go faster. “Mommy, I can jump, want to see?” I yell into the wind.
“Carina,” she scolds, but I just laugh as I let go, sailing into the air for a minute before I land on the ground. I stumble, falling on my butt.
“Oops.” I say, sitting there for a second.
Mommy comes over and picks me up.
“Carina, you are such a brave girl, but you must be careful, alright?”
Mommy hugs me tight, kissing me on the head. I beam, loving the praise.
Tears freely flow down my face as I relay my memory to everyone.
Frost comes over, throwing his arms around me. “Killer, I couldn't be more thrilled for you.”.
“I love you, Frost.” I kiss his cheek. Then I look out at the others. “I love you all, so much.”
Sniffling sounds come from my family and guys and my best friend, all of us emotional.
Feeling more like myself now, I stand, and embrace my mother first, then I go to my father. I stare up into eyes exactly like my own, shivering. “I love you.”
He hugs me tight, rocking me for a moment.
“Whew, what a whirlwind, huh?” he says, making me giddy with laughter.
“Why don’t we call it an evening for now.
You need time to process everything. I wish you could just stay here with us; your home.
I do realize, though, you’re safer with Jax right now.
Please take your time, Cat—I mean, Phoenyxx.
Let Jax know when you want to come back. ”
We all agree, and my parents walk us to the door. Razor scoops me into my arms, carrying me to the car. I let him, with no protest as I snuggle into him, inhaling deeply. He smells like fresh air and musk.
“How did it go?” Jax asks as we all pile in.
I tell him everything. He just nods in thought. “Let's head back.”
I can’t help but fall asleep on the drive back, safely held in Razor’s arms, Frost stroking my hair.