Chapter 15 ~ #4
"I'm so sorry, honey," Helen sobs. "I tried to find you, I really did. After you called three years ago, I got a private investigator but I couldn't find you."
"Love, you need to calm down," Devon says quietly to Helen. She takes a deep breath and nods. He kisses the top of her head.
Seeing Helen cry, seeing the emotion Devon's trying to hide…I get a first hand glimpse at the pain I've caused.
Tears start to fall again. "I'm sorry," I choke. "I'm so sorry."
I barely notice as Jace hands the phone off to someone else. He says something to someone and his arms pull me into his chest. I struggle against his tight hold but he doesn't let up.
Everything Jace and his parents went through…it's my fault. I should have called. I should have tried harder. I should have gone to them.
I should have tried.
Jace ~
I can hear my mother trying to comfort Rory in the background but my sole focus is on Ro.
She tries to pull out of my arms but I don't let her go. If I give her an inch, she'll leave and I cannot let that happen.
She breaks down into hysterical sobs and I pull her head into my chest.
All the guys apart from Maverick crowd around us. I give him Alec’s phone to talk to my parents. I faintly hear him explain to them how Rory found us.
Instead of pushing me away, Rory’s now gripping my shirt tightly, like she’s afraid I’ll leave. Hearing her crying is heartbreaking.
I look to Alec. I don’t know how to help her. I don’t know if I can help her.
He must see the desperation in my eyes because he comes closer. Mase and Dom part to let him through, never taking their eyes off our girl.
Alec puts his hand on the middle of Rory’s back. He shifts so that he’s almost blocking the rest of the guys view of her.
“Sunshine,” he says quietly, “you have nothing to be sorry for.”
Guilt hits me. I shouldn’t have told her what I did.
No. I mentally shake my head. I told her the truth, so she understood. I won’t regret my honesty with her.
I feel Rory shake her head through her tears.
“Rory,” Alec says sternly. Rory tenses and I almost push him away but then she lifts her head. Her eyes are red and puffy. The tears are still falling. She bites her bottom lip to try and control her rising emotions.
Luc growls in the background when he sees her tears.
“Sunshine,” Alec’s tone softens. “Would you have left if you could?”
Rory doesn’t respond but Alec’s not done.
“Something was bothering me when you so easily agreed to come stay with us. You're smart, Rory. You could have left, made your way back to Jace. You couldn't guarantee you wouldn't be taken back, but you're a fighter." Alec continues rambling.
Where is he going with this?
I don't wait long for an answer.
Alec takes a deep breath. "When people are in abusive situations, there's two main reasons victims don't try and leave. They fear being followed—fear their abuser will come after them…or they're threatened."
What he says next is so quiet, I almost miss it. “Rory, would you have left if he didn’t threaten Jace? If he didn’t threaten Helen and Devon?”
My heart stops.
Rory’s eyes widen til they’re the size of the moon. Her gaze moves from Alec to me.
Fresh tears fall down her cheeks and breaks me out of my frozen state. I lift a shaky hand and brush away her tears. She leans into my hand, her eyes closing.
“Yes,” Rory says, her voice hoarse as she answers Alec's question.
“Ro,” I breathe. Her eyelids flutter open when I pull her back into my arms.
She whispers her apologies again to me and I shake my head. Alec watches Rory sadly, his own pain breaking through.
"Your father's to blame, Rory. Not you," he tells her, gently. She nods into my chest.
It takes a few minutes but she lifts her head and wipes away the tears.
The guys get impatient and start pulling Rory in for hugs. Luc holds her the longest. Rory's breakdown probably hit Luc and Alec, it seems, the hardest. Luc never told us but we know Hades, his father threatened our lives many times in order to bend Luc to his will.
Alec’s the only one who doesn’t move to hug her. I can see the pain and anguish he’s struggling to keep hidden.
I focus back on Luc and Rory.
Luc must feel my eyes on him because he looks up. Despite the calmness he's portraying, I can see the panic in his eyes. In that moment, I beg him not to do something stupid. Because I don't know if we could deal with that right now.
Once Rory’s reassured Luc that she’s okay now, she moves in front of Alec. He meets her eyes and barely has any time to react when she puts her arms around him. The surprise is evident in his features. He quickly snaps out of it and leans down to hug her.
She whispers something and he nods, the darkness leaving his eyes when they flick up to mine.
Before she can say what I presume is an apology, I pull her into my arms. She reaches about halfway up my chest, her arms going around my waist.
My head drops and I exhale her sweet scent. She sighs and lays her head on my chest.
"I'm sorry," her voice breaks and I just shake my head.
"That's why you didn't leave? Because of–"
"No," Rory interrupts. "I mean…yes. Alec's right. But Jace…this isn't your fault. And it's not mine." She's quiet for a moment. "It's his. And if you blame yourself…then you're taking the blame off of him."
Fuck, she knows me too well.
She's prepared for me to argue with her, based on her tense body language. But I already screwed up once and I'll be damned if I do it again.
I cup her face. She tilts her head back to search my eyes. Those different coloured eyes haunted me for three years. Three years I've been robbed of being able to say these words.
"I love you crazy, Ro," I say softly.
Happiness glimmers in those perfectly made eyes.
Those cupid-bow lips become the sole focus of my attention when she returns our childhood saying.
"I love you wild, J."
. . .
Luc ~
My heart squeezes hearing Butterfly and my brother exchange 'I love you's.'
The words look more familiar to them than new but that makes sense because of their history. I'm sure exchanging those three words isn't new to them.
It's not that I'm jealous but…fuck yeah I'm jealous. Not that it was Jace but because it makes me want to hear those words said to me.
I've never wanted something as much as I need this. This family.
I don't want to ruin it by competing with my brothers over Rory but its honestly never felt like that. It just feels right, all of us together. And honestly, that's fucking terrifying.
Jace keeps Butterfly close as they talk to his parents, promising to visit soon. Seeing Jace with his parents even after all the shit he put them through…they still love him. They forgave him. Just like that.
I slink away quietly from the kitchen. The guys are all too focused on Rory to notice. The front door shuts softly. Fuck, it's cold out here. We might not be having breakfast inside after all.
Sitting down on the daybed on the verandah, I stretch out my leg. It doesn't hurt that much anymore. Although, I think I have a pretty high pain tolerance after all the shit my father's put me through.
These last few days, we've had a few waves but in the end...they've been damn near perfect. These last few weeks I've been with my family, my real family without having to beat someone up or do a drug drop or suffer myself.
Honestly, I kinda miss the ass kicking. I only took out the baddest of bad guys and now I have so much pent up energy.
You know where that energy could go, a part of me nags in my ear.
Rory. She's fucking gorgeous. Inside and out.
The way she's dealt with everything being thrown at her, how quickly she's adjusted. She's forgiven Jace, forgiven me for keeping the emancipation and my true self from her. We didn't really talk about how she feels about that. Honestly, I'm afraid to ask.
But I feel like I can be myself around her. That I can make jokes about who I am without her freaking out or scaring her off.
Hell, Mason and I are sleeping. Mase isn't wearing himself out by drawing til four in the morning to keep himself awake. I'm not waking up dripping in sweat and feeling the need to break something.
This morning, I woke up to my Butterfly curled into me. Mason was spooning her on the other side and Jace between her legs. Fuck, we've got it bad.
The screen door creaking breaks me out of my thoughts. Butterfly shuts the door and steps away slowly as though she expects someone to come racing after her. That wouldn't surprise me, I'm shocked the guys let her out of their sight.
Not noticing me, she walks to the edge of the porch and leans against the big wooden post beside the stairs.
Rory's long wavy hair is in a messy bun, low on her neck. Her shirt falls just above her ass that's showcased by her black, tight leggings.
"Who are you evading?" I ask softly. Her head turns my way but she mustn't be able to see me because of the table in the middle of the verandah.
I lift my arm up and wiggle my fingers. Rory walks around the table and falls between my legs. I hide the enormous grin threatening to take over by that lack of hesitation.
Her head turns to search my eyes. "Is this okay?" She asks with a hint of insecurity.
Fuck, we really need to have that discussion with her. I know it hasn't been that long but I can see where this is going. Hell, I think we all can.
I answer her by placing a soft kiss on her mouth. Her body immediately loosens.
"Of course, Butterfly," I tell her, in case that doesn't clear up the confusion.
I gently shift until her back is flush up against my chest, my arms curled around her like a boa constrictor.
"How are you feeling?" I gently grip her chin between my thumb and first finger, turning her head towards me.
The…heartache still clouds her features.
"Can we just pretend for one moment you're all less good at reading me than you are?" Rory sighs, leaning back in my arms.
"Rory…" I trail off, the name feeling foreign on my lips. I don’t often use her real name—just Butterfly.
"Please, Luci?" She turns in my arms, begging me to drop it.
I hesitate, seeing the familiar darkness swirling in her eyes but I force myself to nod.
"Thank you," she murmurs quietly. "I just…I'm sick of crying. Of living in the past." She studies my hands in front of her. Her own entwining our fingers until they lock seamlessly together.
"I saw that look Jace gave you," she says after we've been quiet for a while.
Hearing Rory admit that her father had threatened Jace…
I remembered my own father's promises. I felt ready to run.
An itching, crawling all over my skin. A buzzing noise filled my ears until I could only see the guys.
They are a constant reminder of what I have to lose. What my father could take from me.
Then my gaze shifted to Rory. A whole other reason to not get attached, to keep my distance, to leave— a million different ways to ensure my father can never get his hands on my family.
I held her close as she took shuddering breaths in my arms.
As the feeling, the need to go and never look back intensified, I felt eyes on me. I looked up to Jace. There was an undisguised sadness in the depths of his grey irises as I internally fought between the want to flee and the need to never let Rory out of my grasp.
"Luci?" My Butterfly's voice pulls me out of it. She's biting her lip, concern flickering across her face. I blink a couple times before remembering what she said.
I smile, trying to reassure her I'm okay but she doesn't look convinced.
Rory shivers and I'm reminded of how cold it is this morning. I pull her closer to me so I can share my warmth with her.
She burrows into me, laying her head on my chest. I rest my chin on her head.
I hear myself eventually reply. "You're not the only one whose parent has threatened your family."
Rory doesn't respond. Her hand reaches up, her fingers brushing my cheek, a sad smile on her lips before her hand drops back into her lap.
I'm stunned by the simple movement that makes me feel like everything's going to be okay. As long as I have her in my arms.
And that's where we stay. Until the sun peaks over the hill—warming us a little, and the guys join us.