Fifty
Jamie couldn’t believe his eyes when Erica turned and left without even walking into the room. He called after her and was about to follow, when Cindy said, ‘Don’t tell me… you and Erica Harris…’ and laughed. He turned to speak, only for Gary to say, ‘Leave it, Dad. Mum didn’t mean anything by it.’
‘Oh, but I did,’ Cindy said. ‘I remember you and her at school. Love’s young dream. You thought you were so clever, that no one knew. Everyone knew. It was sickening, the way you… Then she left, married, went to Western Australia, I heard. You were lucky I was around to pick up the pieces.’
‘That’s enough, Cindy. You don’t know what you’re talking about. It wasn’t like that.’
‘Wait on, Dad,’ Rory said. ‘You and Erica… back then… Wow!’
‘It wasn’t a secret,’ Jamie said, ‘but Joe didn’t know about us. I was his mate. She was his little sister. He might have objected. Luckily for us, he was too occupied with Barb to worry about what we were getting up to… not that we were doing anything we shouldn’t.’ He glared at Cindy for bringing this up, for getting him involved in this discussion when he should have been chasing after Erica. By this time, she’d have driven off, gone to her book club. Or would she? Maybe she’d have gone straight home. ‘Sorry, guys. I need to go. See you tomorrow, Rory. I want to talk to your doctor about the rehab. See you soon, Gary.’ He didn’t say goodbye to Cindy. He couldn’t bear to speak to her, to be in the same room as her any longer. He hoped this was a flying visit and she’d be gone soon, back to the life she’d chosen when she left him and her two sons over fifteen years earlier.
Jamie was right. There was no sign of Erica or her car when he left the hospital. Cursing himself for allowing Cindy to delay him, he went to his car and drove home, hoping he’d find Erica in Livvy’s cottage and be able to explain Cindy’s presence, sure that was what had upset her.
Jamie’s heart sank when he saw the cottage was in darkness. Deciding she must have gone to her book club after all, he had no option but to drive on home. Perhaps she hadn’t been too upset. He’d check with her tomorrow, anyway. There was no way he was going to let Cindy’s arrival in town spoil the best thing that had happened to him in years.
Next morning, Jamie wakened at his usual time, thoughts of Erica and Cindy at the forefront of his mind. After his morning coffee and as soon as he figured Erica would be awake, he headed down to her cottage. Taking a deep breath, and unsure of her reaction, he knocked on the door.
*
When she awoke, it took Erica a few moments to remember what had happened, but when she did, she felt as if her world had ended. She couldn’t bear the prospect of seeing Jamie and Cindy together again. But that meant she couldn’t go to see Rory either. Luckily, she had a few days off between shifts, so there was no need for her to be at the hospital, but… what about Jamie?
A text from Briony with a photo of Ava decided her. The little girl was growing so rapidly. Erica was missing so much of her life, and she needed to see what was going on in her son’s marriage. She opened her laptop and booked a seat on a plane to Perth, leaving that morning. She had just pressed send when she heard a loud knock on the door. She knew it must be Jamie. She couldn’t face him, knowing what she’d seen last night. Gill’s words came back to her. Had she misinterpreted the scene? Had Jamie known Cindy was in Pelican Crossing? Whatever the truth of the matter, Erica knew she needed time away from here, away from Jamie, time to clear her head. She ignored the knocking on the door till finally she heard Jamie’s steps as he walked away.
Resisting the temptation to throw the door open and run after him, Erica picked up her phone to text Briony about her arrival and Joe about her trip. Then she packed a small bag, ready to drive to the airport.
Gill rang as she was getting into her car. ‘Don’t you think you’re overreacting?’ she asked. ‘Joe tells me you’re going to Perth… this morning.’
‘It’s only for a few days. I have some time off between shifts and it’s an opportunity to see my granddaughter and check in with Briony.’
‘I know you said you were worried about her, but isn’t this a bit sudden? Last night…’
‘Last night I was in a mess. I can see things more clearly this morning,’ Erica lied. ‘It’ll be fine. I’ll be back in a few days and…’
‘Have you spoken to Jamie?’
Erica’s stomach churned. ‘Not yet, maybe when I get back.’ Perhaps by then she’d feel strong enough to hear what he had to say, to accept that he and Cindy were back together. Family was important. She knew that. She was flying to Perth to try to save hers. If she kept telling herself that, maybe she’d get through this.
*
Erica tried to relax during the seven-hour flight, but she couldn’t dismiss what she’d seen at Rory’s bedside. She knew Jamie had been trying to contact her and had turned off her phone after a flurry of missed calls and texts which she managed to resist reading.
Briony and Ava were waiting to greet Erica when she arrived in Perth.
‘What a lovely surprise, Mum,’ Briony said as Erica hugged her, then Ava, and commented on how much the little girl had grown.
‘It’s not the same on Facetime,’ she said, laughing as Ava grasped a strand of her hair and pulled it.
‘How is everything?’ Erica asked, when they were driving to Briony and Kieren’s home.
‘Good. I think Kieren wants to speak with you about something,’ Briony said. Her eyes were on the road so Erica couldn’t read her expression, but her heart sank. Surely her son wasn’t going to try to persuade her to move back to Perth?
For the first time since her impetuous decision early that morning, Erica wondered if she’d been too hasty in making this trip. Briony appeared happy and content. Perhaps her worry had been unnecessary. But she was still concerned about seeing Kieren again. Their last meeting hadn’t gone too well, and she was all too aware of his disapproval of her move to Pelican Crossing.
To Erica’s relief, there was no sign of Kieren when they reached the house.
‘Kieren will be home later. He always stays at the yard till late,’ Briony said apologetically.
Swallowing the thought that this was so like what Geoff had often done, before coming home and blaming Erica when dinner was spoiled, Erica smiled. It was fun to help bath Ava and put her to bed, relishing the softness of her granddaughter’s cheek against her lips as she kissed her goodnight.
Kieren looked tired when he came home, but there was no sign of the temper Erica had expected. Instead, he hugged and kissed her, saying, ‘Good to see you, Mum. Briony told me how much she enjoyed her visit to Pelican Crossing, a happier one than last time.’
‘Good to see you too, son,’ Erica said, discovering she meant it. Despite everything, he was her son, and the thought flitted through her mind that perhaps he had thought her life would have been better if she’d stayed here.
‘Briony said you wanted to speak with me,’ she said to him, when dinner was over.
‘Yeah.’ Kieren pushed his fingers through his hair in a gesture so like Geoff’s that Erica got a sour taste in her mouth. ‘Let’s go into the study.’
‘Briony?’ Erica asked.
‘I’m off to bed as soon as I clear up here. I’ll leave you to it,’ Briony said.
Fearing the worst, Erica joined Kieren in his study, surprised when he poured them both another glass of the wine they’d had with dinner.
She was preparing what to say to refuse his demands, when he surprised her again.
‘I’m sorry, Mum,’ he said, pushing back his hair again. This time, instead of reminding her of Geoff, it took her back to the times when he was a small boy, when he was in trouble.
Erica gazed at her son, seeing the small boy he’d been before life and work with Geoff changed him, the small boy who had always loved his mother, who she’d hugged and kissed goodnight just as she had Ava. She wondered what he was sorry for.
‘I’m sorry,’ he repeated. ‘Since Dad died… I’ve been going through the books at the yard, finding discrepancies, debts. It’s made me think, remember… I’ve come to realise how I idolised Dad, put him on a pedestal, tried hard to emulate him, but…’ He shook his head. ‘He wasn’t the man I thought he was. After discovering how he screwed up the business, I started thinking about how he was at home. The more I thought about him, about how he treated you.’ He met Erica’s eyes. ‘He was a bully, wasn’t he? I couldn’t see it, but now, thinking back, I started to wonder why you never went out to work, to meet friends, why we never had people over like my friends’ parents did, why Dad always locked himself away in his study, why you often looked cowed, afraid.’
Erica swallowed hard. This was the last thing she’d expected to hear.
‘I started reading about domestic violence. Is that why you left him, Mum? Did he hit you?’
Caught off balance by this outburst, Erica could only nod.
‘I had no idea.’ Kieren was silent for several moments then said, ‘And he followed you, that was what he was doing when he had the heart attack?’
Erica nodded again. ‘I’d taken out an AVO against him. He worked out I’d gone to be with my brother and ignored it. I wasn’t with Joe. I was staying with Gill, his partner, who was also my solicitor. You met her. He barged into her office. That was where…’ Erica shivered at the memory.
‘Then I came along blaming you for his heart attack, accusing you of all sorts. I’m sorry,’ he repeated. ‘I didn’t know.’
‘How could you? He was your dad. You loved him, wanted to be like him. I hated how he tried to turn you into a carbon copy of him. I could see it happening but there was nothing I could do to stop it. Then after he died, when you started trying to control me, I knew I couldn’t bear to have it all to happen again.’
‘I didn’t realise. That’s why you went back there?’
‘It’s why I left, yes. But I now know it was the right move for me. It’s where I grew up, where my brother lives, my old friends…’ Erica tried not to think of one old friend, of Jamie. ‘At first I was worried about Briony…’ She paused.
‘Briony?’ Kieren stared at her, then he seemed to realise. ‘Is that why you said what you did to me about Briony, how I needed to consider her, to help more with Ava? Did you think I was like Dad? Was that what you were worried about? I’d never hurt Briony. I suppose it might have seemed…’ he faltered, ‘… it might have seemed I was acting like Dad, but I only wanted what was best for her and Ava.’
‘Your dad would probably have said that too, to excuse his behaviour.’
‘I guess… But I’m not like him… am I?’ Kieren looked so worried, Erica was tempted to throw her arms around him and comfort him as she had when he was a child.
‘I hope not,’ she said instead.
Then they did hug, and Erica went off to bed, comforted by the knowledge that all was well with her family.