Chapter 43
I don't notice I've stopped eating properly until Mason starts watching me too closely.
It isn't obvious at first.
He doesn't comment.
Doesn't push.
He starts doing things like putting food in front of me and not moving away until I actually take a bite.
Like it's not a request.
Just something that's going to happen one way or another.
Ava is easy.
Ava always eats.
Ava sleeps when she's tired.
Ava still feels like something I can understand.
Me... not so much.
I pick at the food he makes without really tasting it.
Mason sits across from me, forearms resting on his knees, eyes tracking me in that quiet way he has now. Not intense. Just present.
Like he's making sure I don't disappear into my own head.
"I'm fine," I say automatically.
He doesn't respond straight away.
That's how I know he doesn't believe me.
Ava is on his lap, content, chewing on one of her little toys like she owns the world. Safe. Happy. Completely unaware of how fragile everything still feels around her.
Mason adjusts her slightly without looking away from me.
"You need to eat more than that," he says eventually.
"I am eating."
A pause.
His eyebrow lifts slightly.
I look down at my plate and immediately regret saying anything.
He's right.
I've barely touched it.
"I'm just tired," I add quickly, like that explains it.
It doesn't.
We both know it doesn't.
Mason leans back slightly.
"Come here," he says.
It's not soft in a questioning way.
It's calm.
Certain.
Like he already expects me to listen.
I hesitate.
Just a second.
Then I stand anyway.
Because fighting him feels harder than just... doing it.
He shifts slightly on the couch as I sit down beside him.
Not crowding me.
Just making space like it's the most natural thing in the world.
Ava immediately reaches for me, and I take her without thinking, settling her against my chest.
Mason watches that for a second.
Then gently takes the plate from the coffee table and slides it closer again.
"Eat," he says.
I sigh quietly.
"You're bossy."
"Yeah," he says. "Eat anyway."
There's no heat in it.
No tension.
Just certainty.
So I eat.
Slowly.
A few bites at first.
Then more, because he doesn't stop watching until I do.
Eventually, I realize I've finished half of it without really noticing.
Ava falls asleep against my chest not long after, her weight warm and steady.
And suddenly everything feels... heavy again.
Not bad.
Just heavy.
My body sinks further into the couch without me meaning to.
Mason notices immediately.
"You're done," he says quietly.
"I'm fine," I mumble again, but it comes out weaker this time.
He doesn't argue.
Just shifts slightly and taps his shoulder once.
"Use me," he says.
I blink at him.
"What?"
"Head," he clarifies. "Come here."
I hesitate.
Again.
Then slowly, carefully, I lean in.
My body folds into his side like it's been waiting for permission.
The second my head hits his shoulder, something in me loosens so sharply it almost hurts.
I didn't realize how tense I was until I wasn't.
Mason adjusts slightly, one arm coming around me—not tight, not trapping. Just there. Holding me in place like I'm something worth anchoring.
Ava shifts in my arms, then settles again.
I exhale slowly.
"I don't know what you're doing," I murmur.
"Good," he says quietly.
That almost makes me smile.
Almost.
My eyes start to close before I even decide to sleep.
Mason doesn't move.
Doesn't rush it.
Just stays there while I drift, like it's the most normal thing in the world to have me and Ava both falling asleep on him in the middle of his couch.
And for the first time in a long time...
My mind doesn't feel like it's running away from me.
It just rests.