Chapter 48
I don't wake up panicked anymore.
That's the first thing I notice one morning when I open my eyes.
No jolt. No confusion. No frantic scan of the room to figure out where I am or if something is wrong.
Just... warmth.
Mason is beside me, one arm loosely around my waist like he's held me in his sleep without thinking about it. Ava is in her cot across the room, already awake but quiet, watching the ceiling with wide, curious eyes.
Safe.
All of it.
For a second, I lie there and let myself feel it.
The house is quiet in the way only a home can be. No shared walls. No footsteps above us. No anxiety waiting behind every sound.
Just morning.
Just us.
Ava makes a small sound, and immediately, Mason shifts.
He's awake instantly.
Every time.
It still surprises me a little.
He sits up, rubs a hand over his face, then looks over at her.
"Morning, bug," he murmurs.
Ava squeals in response like she's been waiting for him specifically.
I smile before I even think about it.
That happens a lot now.
Mason glances at me then, softer.
"You okay?" he asks automatically.
I nod.
Then, because I can, I say it properly.
"Yeah. I'm good."
He studies me for a second like he's still getting used to that answer, meaning what it says.
Then he leans over and presses a quick kiss to my forehead.
Simple.
Normal.
Home.
We get up slowly, the way mornings tend to go now. No rush. No fear. Just routine settling in around us like something we've built without really noticing.
I make breakfast while Mason gets Ava changed. I hear her giggling through the hallway, that bright little sound that still catches me off guard sometimes because it feels so full of life.
A life I didn't think I was allowed to have.
By the time I bring plates out, Mason is sitting on the couch with Ava on his chest, one of her tiny hands gripping his shirt like she owns him.
Which... she absolutely does.
"You're spoiling her," I say lightly.
"She's a baby," he replies. "It's her job to be spoiled."
I roll my eyes, but I'm smiling.
It's strange how normal this all feels now.
A few weeks ago, I was still flinching at doors.
Now I'm arguing about whether Ava is getting "too many cuddles" from the man who refuses to put her down anyway.
I sit beside them, and Ava immediately leans toward me, and I take her without hesitation.
She settles into my arms like she always does.
Like, I belong there too.
Mason watches us for a moment.
He does that sometimes.
... looks at us.
Not like he's checking for danger anymore.
Like he's memorizing it.
"What?" I ask softly.
He shakes his head slightly.
"Nothing."
But his hand finds my knee anyway, warm and grounding.
I don't ask again.
Because I already know what it is.
The same thing I feel sometimes when I look at this life and don't quite understand how it became mine.
After breakfast, Mason leaves for a short run to the shops. I clean up slowly, Ava sitting in her bouncer watching me like I'm the most interesting thing in the world.
I talk to her while I do it.
Apparently, I do that now.
"You're very opinionated for someone who can't walk yet," I tell her.
She responds with a sound that might be agreement.
I laugh quietly.
Real laughter.
Not forced.
Not careful.
Just there.
And it still surprises me every time it happens without effort.
When Mason comes back, he's holding coffee and something for Ava, like he can't enter a house without bringing things for her.
He kisses my cheek as he passes.
Like it's nothing.
Like it's everything.
Later, we sit outside on the porch while Ava naps inside.
The sun is warm. The air is still. The kind of quiet that doesn't feel empty anymore.
I lean back against Mason's shoulder without thinking about it.
He adjusts slightly to make it easier.
Always adjusting.
Always making space.
"I keep waiting for it to feel like it's going to end," I admit quietly.
Mason doesn't respond straight away.
He wraps an arm around me and holds me closer.
"It's not going to end," he says.
I breathe out slowly.
"I know," I whisper.
And for once—
I actually believe it.
Ava stirs inside and makes a tiny noise, and Mason immediately shifts like he's ready to go to her if she needs him.
I smile against his shoulder.
Somewhere along the way, I stopped surviving.
And started living.