Chapter Sixteen Lena
Chapter Sixteen
Lena
This. Fucking. Sucks.
My legs feel like they’re going to give out on me, but I’ll be damned if I’ll say something to the asshole barking orders.
No way will I admit that he’s pushed me too far.
Or that I want to punch him.
This is not the man who said sweet things in my ear while he fucked me and kissed me awake this morning.
No, the drill sergeant is back, and I don’t like him.
“Back to the beginning,” he barks when I fall from the rings again.
My lungs burn, my hips ache. My hands feel like the skin is going to split open from all the hanging and climbing ropes.
Rather than flipping him the bird or telling him off, I’ve gone silent. I won’t even look at him now. I’ll do what I’m told, and when we get back to the house, I’ll take a hot shower and then sketch.
Or die.
“Lena.”
I shake my head and stand by the tires.
“Lena.”
“Just tell me to go.”
Suddenly, his fingers grip my chin, and he makes me look up at him. His eyes are hard, his jaw firm.
“What’s wrong?” he asks in that growly voice.
“Nothing. Let’s do this.”
“Lena.” I hear the warning, but I don’t really care.
“We don’t have all day, remember?”
He sighs. “Talk to me, Rebel. I know you too well, and something’s wrong.”
My chest softens with his voice, and now I want to cry.
I will absolutely not cry.
“I’m fine.”
“You’re not fine.”
“Stop it.” I tug out of his grasp, making him scowl, but I don’t really care. I pace away from him and unzip my hoodie, toss it aside. It’s cold out here, but I’ve been running my ass off, literally, and I’m a sweaty mess. “You’re confusing the shit out of me, Gideon.”
“Why?”
“You’re sweet and sexy in the house, and as soon as we get out here, you’re back to being a bossy jerk, barking orders, with that scowl on your face.”
“We’re working out here.”
“Right.”
“This is how I treat all trainees.”
I don’t want him to treat me like everyone else.
And I don’t want his hard attitude, or his stern face.
I want the sweet affection back, because I haven’t had it in so long and it feels like heaven.
“I can’t go easy on you out here,” he continues, “because you learning this stuff could be the difference between life and death.”
“Yes, I can see how being unable to walk a balance beam could mean my demise.”
His jaw flexes, and his hands ball up into fists.
“What if you’re running away from someone who’s trying to take you, and you have to run over something small, like a tree trunk or a board or something? You have to have the balance and the skill to get across safely.”
“Whatever, let’s just do this.”
He’s quiet as I stand in front of the tires, ready to go again, but he doesn’t give me the signal.
“We’re done,” he says.
“No, we’re not. I didn’t make it through without failing.”
“You’ll try again another day.”
I shake my head and count down from three, and then I take off, running through the tires.
I’ve figured out to not go too fast straight off, because I don’t want to trip. I lift my knees high as well, so I don’t catch my toe on the inside of a tire, which could also make me fall and smash my face or break a wrist.
The rings are my nemesis, but I remember what Gideon said about using my legs, and I actually make it across this time.
The climbing wall is the worst on my hands, but I haven’t failed on that one at all, and I don’t this time either. Then I have to crawl under the rope web.
I hate this one. I don’t love being this close to the dirt. Maybe that wolf spider decided to make this handy premade web a home and thinks I’m the intruder this time.
Don’t think about that.
When I approach the balance beam, I take a deep breath, calming my nervous system before I put my foot up to walk across. I take it fairly quickly but try to stay focused so I don’t fall off, and to my surprise, I make it all the way to the end.
Next, I have to drag a pile of tires to a line about ten yards away. I grab the rope and hold on to it, putting my back and legs into it as I tug with all my might, pulling the heavy-as-fuck tires behind me.
Finally, I’ve crossed the line, and I can drop the big rope.
My hands are bleeding, my lungs screaming, but I don’t care right now. I have to do this hop-back-and-forth thing with platforms that are tilted, and I have to jump between them. There are no railings, and I don’t have the best balance, so I have to concentrate.
But I do it.
I haven’t been this far before. I have two things left.
First is a long tunnel that’s only about three feet high, and I have to run crouched down. No crawling allowed, and if I stumble to my knees, I have to start over.
I will not stumble.
It’s also dark, and I don’t like that, but I make it out the other side.
One obstacle left, and then I can tell Gideon to go fuck himself because he won’t be fucking me today.
This is a super-tall rope net—I have to climb it, get myself over the top, then climb down to the ground.
This is going to suck.
I get up about halfway and hear myself groan because my hands are so torn up.
“Lena, get your ass down here.”
Ignoring him, I keep climbing. I’m slow.
Really slow, because my arms are shaking, and it’s hard to breathe, and my hips are a nightmare, and I don’t know why.
I’m trying to avoid using the pad of my hand where the skin is split to hold on to the rope.
Finally, I reach the top and lie across the board, resting my cheek against it, and psych myself up for climbing down the backside of this torture device.
“You’ve got this,” I hear him say, but I think I might be stuck.
My limbs don’t want to listen to my brain, and tears fill my eyes.
“Lena, you’ve got this, baby.”
Oh, now he wants to be sweet.
“I’m stuck.”
“You are so fucking badass, Lena. You can do this. Swing that sexy back leg down.”
I turn and look down at him. He’s smiling at me.
He’s fucking smiling at me.
Damn it, I want to stay mad at him, but he’s smiling at me, and I love his smiles.
“Have I mentioned I hate heights?” I say after clearing my throat, and his eyebrows climb into his hairline.
“I’ll talk you through it.”
“Have you jumped out of airplanes?” I ask, distracting myself. I need all the distractions if I’m going to get out of this without an injury. Like, a brain injury from falling on my head.
“Yes. Too many to count.”
“Was it part of your training?” I lower my back leg and find the rope with my foot.
“Yes. Good job, Rebel. Your foot is secure.”
“What else did you have to do for training?”
“All kinds of shit.”
“Did you have to do one of these obstacle courses?”
“Yes, this is designed after the one I trained on.”
“Really? Does this mean I could be an army Ranger?”
“You have to get down from there first.”
I glare down at him, but he’s still grinning at me, and he looks . . . proud.
And damn it, that makes me want to complete this so that pride stays there.
“I’m mad at you. Don’t smile at me like that.”
But the grin doesn’t leave his handsome-as-hell face.
“This is nothing compared to what you just put yourself through to get here. Come on, you can do this.”
With a deep breath to gather some courage, I scoot around and let the other leg drop. Slowly, I work my way down, and when I get a few feet from the ground, Gideon’s hands are gripping my hips.
“No!” I shake my head. “You can’t take me down. I have to do it myself, or else I’ve failed, and I have to start over.”
He immediately moves away.
“You’re right. Go ahead.”
I drop to the ground, and then jog over and ring the bell, and then I’m in Gideon’s arms and he’s spinning me around, kissing me like crazy.
“You’re the sexiest fucking woman I’ve ever seen in my life,” he growls against my lips.
“I’m so mad at you.”
“Good. That means you used that anger to get through the course.”
He squeezes me to him and kisses my cheek, and damn it, I love being surrounded by him.
“I wish we’d timed it,” I mutter.
“I did.”
I blink up at him, waiting.
“Eighteen minutes, six seconds. If you hadn’t paused at the top of that last one, you would have done it in under fifteen minutes.”
“Well, fuck.”
He laughs and takes my hand, but I wince and tug out of his grasp, and his face immediately darkens.
“What’s wrong?”
I shake my head and turn away, but he catches my wrist and pulls me back to him, scowling when he sees my hands.
“I’ll be fine.”
“Jesus, you need to tell me—”
“I’m just a trainee, remember? Do you hug and kiss and coddle everyone who finishes the course, Lieutenant?”
His face hardens, and if I’m not mistaken, hurt moves through his eyes.
“I didn’t think so. I’ll clean up when I get back to the house.” I pick up my sweatshirt and tug it on, wincing when the cotton scrapes against my hands. “Why do my hips hurt so bad?”
“Because of the rings. The swinging back and forth.” He crowds into me and wraps my ponytail around his fist, then tugs my head back so I’m staring up at him. “You’re not just anything. Do you understand me?”
I will not cry.
“What are we doing next?”
“I’m taking you home, and I’m going to tend to your hands and get you comfortable.”
“Would you—”
“Be very careful, Lena. You’re pissing me off.”
“I’m just treating you like I would any trainer, Gideon.” His lips firm. “Doesn’t feel good, does it? You can be tough on me, that’s fine. I can take it. But you don’t get to fuck me one minute and then speak to me like I’m a stranger the next.”
I start to walk away from him, and swear at myself when I limp, my right side already so sore.
Suddenly, I’m in Gideon’s arms, and he’s carrying me bridal-style back toward the house.
“D—”
“Shut that beautiful mouth,” he growls. “No, I wouldn’t carry anyone else. Damn it, cut me some slack. The rules shifted less than twelve hours ago, and I’m figuring it out.”
Okay, now I might feel a little bad.
Wrapping my arms around his neck, I sink my fingers into his hair and my face against his neck and hug him close.
“I’m sorry,” I say softly. “You hurt my feelings, and I got mad.”
“That’s not ever my intention.”
“I know. I just need to remember that grumpy is your standard factory setting. I was scared of the obstacle course.”
“Obviously, you didn’t need to be. You kicked ass today. You did far better than men who have been through the military and come here to train do. Most don’t make it through on their first day.”
I freeze, staring at him in shock.
“You’re kidding.”
“I’m not kidding. I’m grumpy, remember? I don’t have a sense of humor.”
He carries me into the house and up the stairs to the primary bathroom, where he sets me on the vanity and gets to work starting the bath.
“I want you to soak in some Epsom salts for your joints. Let me see your hands.”
Without arguing, I show him my palms, and he lifts one to his lips and gently kisses it, then raises his gaze to me.
“I’ll get you gloves. You’ll wear them from now on.”
“I’ll get calluses. It’ll be okay.”
“No, you’ll use the gloves.” He leans on the counter on either side of my hips and presses his lips to my forehead. “I’m so fucking proud of you.”
“You are?”
“Hell yes. Watching you do the course, all pissed off and stubborn, determined to make it through, was the sexiest thing I’ve seen. And then you broke my heart when you got to the top of the rope net and froze.”
“It scared me.”
“You should have told me that you don’t like heights.”
“Why? I still would have had to do it.”
His lips flatten, and he doesn’t look happy, but he can’t argue because he knows I’m right.
“Get in the bath,” he says before kissing my lips. “I’m going to make you lunch.”
The bath actually sounds really nice, so I don’t argue.
Once Gideon has left the bathroom, I gingerly hop off the vanity and wince. Now that the adrenaline is all gone, I’m really sore. Probably because I did the first half of that course at least a dozen times before I could move on to the next thing.
I slip into the water, and it stings my hands, but then I relax against the edge of the soaking tub and take a deep breath.
This is actually really nice.
If I’m not careful, I could fall asleep in here. The warm water makes my eyes so heavy. Next thing I know, I feel lips pressed to my forehead.
“I’m not sleeping.”
Gideon smiles against my skin. I love it when he does that.
“No, not at all. You snore while you’re completely awake all the time.”
“I wasn’t snoring.”
He pulls back, and I open my eyes to find him still smiling at me. “I made lunch.”
“What is it?”
“Leftovers from last night.”
“That sounds really good.” Gideon helps me up and out of the water, and then he wraps me in a gigantic blue towel and hugs me to him, his hands rubbing up and down my back. “I need some ibuprofen or something.”
“I have that ready for you too.” He kisses my forehead. “Come on, my little badass rebel. I have a surprise for you.”
That grabs my attention.
“What kind of surprise?”
“You’ll see when you get your sexy ass downstairs.”
“Is it a living thing? Did you get me a cat?” I smile hopefully, but he just smirks.
“No. It’s not a living thing.”
“Well, damn.”