Chapter 10
Walking into the speakeasy bookstore was exactly like walking into the embrace of a warm hug.
It was small and quaint, like everything else in this town, but absolutely stunning.
The back walls were lined with floor-to-ceiling shelves full of books, with themed display tables scattered throughout.
The room was lit by low hanging chandeliers and vintage swag lamps casting a beautiful glow that reminded me of the cozy atmosphere of the bed and breakfast.
And it was a lot busier than I expected for such a hidden gem.
There was a couple browsing the books on the back shelves, and a few others scattered throughout in oversized chairs reading their books.
At the front counter was a bakery display case and another large carafe of coffee that I assumed was empty, and the one I was holding was meant to replace.
This looked like a place I could get used to.
“Hey, you must be Stella. Melody told me about you. Thanks for bringing this over,” said a gorgeous curvy blonde with short curly hair that bounced as she walked up to me.
She took the carafe from me and placed it on a counter next to Melody as she restocked the baked goods.
“I’m Olivia. How are you liking Love so far? ”
I was pretty sure her name should have been Joy for how much of it she exuded. Everything from her smile to her delicately patterned yellow dress with a bold pink cardigan screamed happiness.
“I love it, actually. Everyone here is so kind, and it’s been a nice change of pace from the busy atmosphere of Salt Lake City.”
The girls’ faces brightened as they looked at each other and then back at me. “It may be a slow pace now because everyone is busy with harvest, but just you wait until that snow starts to fly. That’s when the parties really start in Love,” Melody explained, and Olivia nodded beside her knowingly.
“Ooh, yes! You’ll have to see the way Love decorates for Christmas. We have the best light displays, and Grandpa Teddy plays a Santa Claus for the kids that rivals the real one, I swear.”
I could picture it in my mind, Teddy with his round red cheeks and button nose would make the perfect Santa in this idyllic town.
It was only the end of August now, though, would I still be here when it was Christmas time?
I suppose I was in control of my own life now and could decide that for myself.
“Come on, I’ve saved us a spot here so I can watch the till,” Olivia said as we each filled up a coffee cup and grabbed a muffin before heading to the table.
Olivia’s bright skirts flowed and bounced with her curly hair as she led the way. I could see why her and Melody were such great friends. They both had such a warm, welcoming, positive and bubbly personality, like one in the same.
It hit me then, the way they were including me was something I had only ever wished for when I was in Salt Lake City.
I had friends when Nick and I first started dating, but he slowly ostracized me from everyone, convincing me that his high-class group of friends would be a better fit for our relationship and our goals.
It seemed like the right idea at first, until I realized I had burned the bridges with all the people who actually cared about me and had no one standing in my corner when the abuse started.
Melody and Olivia symbolized everything I could have ever wanted and needed in girlfriends.
I was just starting to involve myself in their casual conversation about a new book that released that week, when a flurry of notification dings started blaring from my bag.
It shocked me that, in just two days, I had basically forgotten about my cell phone, but in this moment, it was making its presence known.
I must have gotten a bar of service in the bookstore and all the messages I had missed in the last few days were flooding through.
I fished my phone out of my bag to silence the notifications that continued their onslaught against the quiet space and instantly felt nausea rise when I saw the screen. There were twenty-three missed calls and seventeen messages and counting from an unknown number, but it was obviously Nick.
Unknown
Where the fuck are you?
You think you can just leave in the middle of the night like that?
You already know you are nothing without me. What do you think you’re doing?
Ha. You took our car, you really think I can’t find where you’re going?
You stupid bitch, answer your fucking phone and deal with this mess you have caused. Do you even realize how this shit you pulled makes me look?
Come back, baby. Did you like the gift I sent you?
There were more, but they all looked to be repetitions of the same sentiments, and I had read enough. His words had assaulted me for so long and I was tired of giving them that power. I knew I was far enough away from his fists that he couldn’t seriously hurt me this time.
“What’s wrong, Stella?” Concern laced Olivia’s tone while the girls silently quizzed me with their stares. I hadn’t even realized they stopped their conversation.
“Oh, it’s nothing. I haven’t had service since I arrived so all my messages just came through. I didn’t even realize I had my phone on me.” I tried to laugh but it came out stilted. I didn’t want to burden my new friends with the demons from my previous life.
“No.” Melody’s stern voice seemed completely at odds from her usually bubbly personality. “I know that look. I’ve lived that look. That is not nothing.”
I couldn’t see a way to divert myself from this conversation, and part of me didn’t want to. I had hidden myself away for so long, shame was the disguise of all my struggles, and I was desperate to wear something else. To write a new story for myself as I started a new life in Love.
“I left a really bad relationship when I came here. Well…maybe left is the wrong word. Rather, I ran away from, and he’s not exactly happy about it.”
“Congrats, girl,” Melody said with no ounce of sarcasm, leaning over to grab a hold of my hand.
Congratulations? People usually say that when you accomplish something. When you got married or had a baby or finished schooling. Not when your relationship dissipated.
Olivia nodded in agreement, like they had more experience than they led on. “Leaving is always the hardest part. You made the scary but brave decision and followed through with it. That is something to celebrate. Now you get to live.”
As I told them about Nick and our almost decade-long relationship, I felt the weight rise off my shoulders. We cried together, we laughed together, and it was in those moments that I knew I didn’t have to face these battles alone any longer. Shame died when our stories were shared in safe spaces.
When I got to the part about the roses I received yesterday, that had obviously been from Nick, pure burning rage—as red as her hair—filled Melody’s eyes. “We need to tell my brothers and Patrick about that.”
“Please, no,” I begged her. “Please keep this between us. Nick isn’t going to actually do anything, he’s too busy with work…and putting in the effort to come here isn’t like him at all. He’s just trying to get into my head,” I tried to explain.
“Has he ever hurt you?” Olivia asked me quietly.
I nodded slightly, still feeling a weird sort of guilt for finally speaking my truth but noted it had less of a hold on me now. “Always in ways that were explained away, or places that no one would see when we were out in public.”
“You can’t keep that to yourself, Stella. You don’t deserve that. You need to tell someone,” Liv pushed, but it didn’t make me uncomfortable. The tone of her voice held so much fervor, I knew she was coming solely from a place of love and understanding.
“I’ve told you and that’s made a difference. I promise.” It wasn’t a lie. The way these women were making me feel gave me hope.
The girls looked unconvinced, but I promised to keep them in the loop if I received anything else, and that seemed to be enough to keep my secret.
I just wanted to start a new life in a new space, without any of my past burdens chasing me along the way.
“You know what we need this evening?” Olivia looked at Melody with a twinkle in her eye, effectively mitigating the tension in our conversation and bringing back the bright and bubbly energy she embodied.
“Obviously some good food, good drinks, and good music!” Melody cheered.
Before we parted ways, we made plans to meet up at Olivia’s apartment later to get ready and then head to Heartstrings Bar and Grill, which they assured me is the place to be on a Friday night in Love.
Even after the events of today, I was giddy with excitement for my plans with my new friends, and I refused to let anything dull that shine.