4. Ryan
RYAN
The community safety event is on the lawn behind the station. It's the most people Iron Peak puts in one place all year, which is not many people, but they're ours. I've got Duke on a long lead and a stack of sticker badges in my shirt pocket.
The line of kids goes back six deep because Duke is a ninety-pound German shepherd who acts like a golden retriever when he's out of vest and every kid in Iron Peak knows it.
Right now Duke is on his back with a four-year-old rubbing his belly. He’s making a noise I'm pretty sure is meant to be a growl but is, in fact, a purr.
"He's a very serious police dog," I tell the little girl.
"He's not." She eyes me with suspicion.
"He's extremely serious." I lower my voice to a whisper. "He's seriously a big baby. But don't tell him that. He'll be embarrassed."
The four-year-old finds this hilarious. I hand her a sticker badge and she runs back to her dad. I stand up and stretch my back because I've been crouching for two hours and I am no longer twenty-five.
Duke rolls onto his feet and shakes himself. He looks up at me with the patient expression of a dog who would like to know when lunch is. "I know buddy, you’re doing a great job." I tell him with a pat on the head.
I announce our lunch break and a kiddo in line lets out a groan. But I can’t focus on reassuring him because I look up and there she is.
Cece makes her way towards me. Her long hair dances across her shoulders and she's got Birdie on her hip. Even better, she’s looking for me. I know because she stops scanning the second her eyes land on mine. She holds my stare for a full second before she remembers herself and looks away fast.
Pink climbs up the side of her neck and she flashes a shy smile that is just for me. It sends heat coursing through me and I file the look in a place I am going to pull up on repeat for the rest of my life.
"Duke," I lower my voice and whisper. "Keep your shit together. Here she comes.”
He ignores me completely and takes a detour at a bucket of ice water filled with boxed apple juice. I walk toward them and Cece watches me come. Then Birdie sees me from twenty feet out and her whole face does a thing. She points and claps when she sees Duke behind me.
She’s close enough that I can see the flecks of gold in Cece’s eyes in the daylight. She’s sexy as hell. She smells like something warm and a little sweet. I have to make a deliberate decision to look away for a second because I'm a grown man on duty and I have some dignity left.
"Man," Birdie announces to her mother.
"Yes," Cece says. "That's a man."
"Man!"
"She's got a full vocabulary," Cece tells me, apologetically. "She just likes that one right now."
"I'll take it. I’m glad you made it out. Hi, Birdie."
"Hi."
"You want to meet my partner?"
She considers this very seriously. Then she nods once, just the way she saw her mother nod. I can’t imagine what kind of a stupid son of a bitch would let these two walk out of his life.
I go down to one knee on the grass and whistle low. Duke trots over and sits exactly where I tap the grass next to me, because he knows this part.
"Birdie, this is Duke. Duke, this is Birdie. She and her mama are new. We’re going to take care of them and show them around. Aren’t we?"
Duke thumps his tail.
"He's big," Birdie says.
"He is."
"Can I—" She looks at her mother. "Pet?"
"Ask Ryan, bug."
"Ryan." She turns the full force of a two-year-old's eye contact on me. "Pet?"
"Yes, ma'am. He'd like that."
She gets down from her mother's hip with the focused concentration of a demolitions expert. Birdie approaches Duke with one extended hand, and Duke does the thing he does with tiny humans, which is to lower his head all the way down to the ground so she can reach him.
She pets him and tells him good boy in the sweetest tone I’ve ever heard. Then she leans in and smushes her forehead against his. Duke's tail thumps and Cece, beside me, makes a small sound I don't think she meant to make.
I stand up. Slow and close to her.
"She's got no fear," I say, low, so only Cece can hear. "That's on you."
"I don't feel like it's on me. I feel like it's on her. I don’t know where she gets it."
"It's on you."
She looks at me. The light hits her cheek and the pink is back on her neck. She's so close I could count the freckles on her cheeks. My whole chest does something unhelpful.
"Did you sleep well out at your sister’s place," I ask.
"I did. Thank you for getting us up there. I wouldn’t have found it. Did you?"
"Did I what?”
"Sleep well… I guess.” She lets out an awkward giggle and bites her bottom lip.
I can’t help but wonder what those lips would feel like pressed against mine. “Eventually.”
We make small talk and I’m pulled to her like a magnet. It’s the way she holds herself together. It’s the swell of her chest beneath her thin t-shirt. It’s the way her mouth moves. It’s not quite a full smile, but it’s enough to make my muscles clench.
She glances over my shoulder and tells me that she should let me get back to work.
She’s probably right. I could step back.
I could professional my way out of this.
I could tell her to enjoy the rest of the event and get back to Duke and the sticker badges and the line of kids that has, predictably, re-formed twelve feet away.
I do not do any of those things.
"Hey, can I take you somewhere tonight," I ask. "Or tomorrow night. Your pick, I just want to know you better."
“Oh.” She goes very still. “If anything I should probably be buying you dinner to thank you for—”
"It’s not a thank-you thing. It’s not a… anything. It’s just me taking you somewhere."
She looks at me and raises an eyebrow. "Where."
"Wherever you want to see. I'll give you a private tour of Iron Peak. There's a place up the canyon that does the best green chile you've ever had and another place closer in that does dessert. Or we can just drive. Your call."
"Ryan, I have a toddler."
"I know. I've met her. She's pro-me."
She laughs and it’s a real one, short and surprising. The sound of it lands low in my stomach like something I am going to be building a whole future around.
"Evelyn has been angling to babysit since I pulled in last night. I won’t have to twist her arm.”
"Tomorrow night then? Seven, I’ll pick you up."
She shakes her head with a shrug. “I can’t believe I’m saying yes. But yeah, I would love that.”
I should step back now. But I don't.
Birdie, who has been having a one-sided conversation with Duke looks up and catches us standing too close. She makes a sound of deep toddler satisfaction. Like she called it. Like she's been waiting.
Cece clears her throat and steps back first. That’s smart. One of us had to be.
"We should— Yeah, we'll let you get back to it. See you tomorrow, Deputy."
"Seven it is.”
She picks Birdie up and Birdie waves at Duke with her whole arm. Cece walks away across the lawn and my heart thuds in my chest. I stand there with my hand on my dog's head and watch her go already knowing she’s mine.