Chapter 19
Chapter Nineteen
Charlotte
“Oh, I was just kidding,” I say, leaning away as I try to process what that means. On one hand, that’s kinda scary. On the other, it’s almost reassuring to my senses that he wanted to ease me into getting to know him.
Damn.
My instincts must be in full control.
“I would never hurt either of you,” Cormac says, palming my cheek.
I can’t tell exactly what the look on his face means, but my stomach tightens. I don’t enjoy sensing his anxiety.
“I wasn’t worried you would,” I say before I can stop myself. “I just really don’t know how I feel about being in your house when the three of you are engaged. If I was her, I’d be royally pissed.”
That’s an understatement.
Patrick would be smitten because he would get to see me go “scorched earth.”
“You saw Vanessa’s reaction. There are no attachments on either side.
We’ve been focused on keeping the peace, but I believe I can speak for both my brothers when I say we have a new focus.
” He smiles, brushing his thumb over my skin in a way that’s addictive.
“Not to change the subject, but are you okay? You seem feverish.”
“I forgot to pack my suppressants. It’s what I was talking to Patrick about,” I say, nuzzling my face to his wrist. “Mmm, you smell good, Cormac. Petrichor is one of my favorite smells.”
“I’m unfamiliar with that word.”
“It’s an earthy scent that pops up after a hard rain. It comes from plants releasing oils and minerals into the soil, or that’s what I read. It’s not like I’m an expert in the subject.”
“B-But you like it?” he stutters. He’s so handsome, but not nearly as confident as Patrick. It makes me ache to kiss him to prove exactly how attracted to him I am.
“I do.” I nod, licking my lips. “I’m less enthused about the fiancée, and Patrick telling me you have someone from the Demons in a torture dungeon. Who even uses that term in an unironic way?”
I force a laugh, but Cormac’s face twists into something terrifying. Thankfully, that glower doesn’t feel directed at me.
“Okay, based on the look on your face, I’m going to assume he wasn’t just trying to scare me…” I swallow thickly. “Will you tell me about that?”
“Malachy was able to grab one of the MC members before the motel exploded,” he says, keeping his voice low. And I’m grateful. That’s probably not the kind of thing Lucky needs to overhear.
My brain catches up a half second later, and my head tilts. “I’m sorry. Did you say a motel exploded? Which motel?”
“Jesus,” Cormac mutters, shoving his glasses up with his free hand.
“We truly need to get better at communicating which things are meant to be secret. That, or give up on keeping any altogether.” He sighs heavily, shrugging.
“Okay, let me see how to explain this. The easiest way to dispose of the last few Jacksonville Demons in Boston was to set up an explosion at their motel. Don’t worry.
Malachy spent most of the afternoon there, setting everything up and making sure no innocent people would get caught in the crossfire.
” He smiles tightly. “I thought it might be helpful to gain access to a living member of the MC for informational purposes.”
“Torturing them for information,” I say mindlessly as I try to follow along.
“It can be a slow process,” he says carefully. “In most cases, it takes a few days before they’re miserable enough to even start talking, but it’ll be lies and nothing much of use for a while.”
Okay, well, I have a few days before whoever they’re holding outs my history.
Should I be concerned Cormac knows the torture protocol well enough to understand the stages of torturee grief?
More than that, is it someone I know, or did they snatch someone who joined after I left?
Maybe I should spill my guts before that someone else has the chance to do it for me?
“Do you have a name?”
“McCarthy,” Cormac says, and ice slides down my spine.
“Do you know which one?”
“Which McCarthy?” he asks.
“Yeah, do you have a first name?”
Magnum’s last name is McCarthy.
Technically, his real name is Dylan McCarthy, but his brother and father are also options for members with that last name.
When they mentioned there was a McCarthy in town, I assumed it was his father because he was Blade’s vice president, but now I’m worried I might have made the wrong assumption.
If they have Mag somewhere here on the property… I’ll have to beg them to let him out.
I owe him my life.
“Leonard,” he says, and I exhale in pure relief.
That’s Mag’s dad, and he’s an all-around trash human being.
“You recognize the name,” Cormac says, and it doesn’t feel like a question.
My head shakes, and then nods.
Okay, I just decided I’m a giant hypocrite for getting angry with them for keeping secrets about Vanessa when I’ve got a huge one of my own.
All I can focus on is how grateful I am that Magnum isn’t the person they’re going to be torturing for information. I really do owe him, but I’m also not sure it would have been safe to let him out.
He let me go all those years ago…
This is totally different, though.
More than a few of his MC brothers have lost their lives here in Boston while looking for me. I don’t think he would thank me for intervening and simply go on his way.
I jump as Lucky runs into the room with a dinosaur tucked under his arm.
“Mommy, I want a drink, and I need to go potty!”
I’m not sure when Cormac pulled his hand from my cheek and relocated it to my thigh, but it hurts my soul to pull away from his touch.
I still do, pushing off the bed and heading in to help Lucky. When he says he has to go, there’s like a two-minute window to get him to a toilet, and that’s if I’m lucky.
Once I’m done, I stand in the doorway to the bathroom, catching Cormac’s eyes. “Whenever your brothers are free, I need to talk to the three of you.”
Patrick’s office feels like a prison cell with all four of us crammed into it. Miriam took Lucky, and I can’t even focus on the guilt that comes from being away from him when I finally have time off work.
I refuse to meet Malachy’s gaze as he leans against the bookshelf where Cormac stood yesterday. Cormac is in the chair at my right while Patrick stretches back against the front of his desk.
Something is wrong with my brain because all I can focus on is the bottom of his T-shirt and how it rides up a little as he crosses his arms over his chest.
“Did you ever come up with a solution for getting my suppressants?” I ask, forcing my eyes to his.
Now is not the time for the omega thirst trap to rear its ugly head.
A pang of arousal sits heavy in my stomach, but I’m always more susceptible to alpha scents when I go without the suppressants. I just don’t remember it ever being this bad after skipping such few doses.
“This might come as a shock, but I greatly value my men. I have no interest in needlessly sacrificing any of them.” Patrick’s lips tip up at the edges, and I swear he’s trying to goad me like he did earlier.
“However, I don’t want you to have to suffer, either.
I put a call in to our private physician.
He should be by the house within the next couple hours.
He refused to call in a prescription without examining you, but you should have your pills by this evening. ”
“Is that okay?” Cormac asks. “If it’s an emergency, I can run over and be back within the hour.”
The suppressants feel like an added layer of safety when being so close to the three of them, so it’s tempting to take him up on his offer. Even as the thought crosses my mind, I know I won’t go through with it.
The idea of something happening to Cormac because of me makes me feel like I’m going to vomit. Everything was so hectic that I haven’t even had the chance to truly thank him for everything he did in setting up the room for Lucky.
“No,” I say, giving him an appreciative smile. “I can make it until tonight, but it means a lot that you offered.”
“I’m sure you’d like some explanation about Vanessa, but it’s truly not that interesting,” Patrick says, bringing my attention back to him. “Arranged marriage, war between families, blah, blah, blah…”
“You owe me no explanation.” I give Patrick a cutting smile, hiking a thumb at Malachy. “Him? Maybe.” I twist to look at Cormac. “You? Definitely, especially with the whole stalking thing.”
“Oh, that’s come to light. Has it?” Patrick laughs.
“I was going to talk to you about Vanessa, but I was gone most of the day yesterday,” Malachy chimes in. “And it felt wrong to bring it up in the middle of the night, when you’re already battling nightmares and not getting enough sleep.”
“I understand,” I tell him, still not meeting his eyes.
I have no idea why it’s easier to focus on Patrick. Maybe because it feels like the other two see me as more innocent than I really am?
Something in my gut says Patrick wasn’t lying. He doesn’t want someone who is sweet and needs coddled.
He wants a partner in crime.
Someone he’ll never get bored of.
Or maybe I’m delusional, making up stories in my mind because it’ll hurt the least if he’s appalled by me.
“I need to be honest with the three of you in return.” My mouth is so dry that it becomes hard to swallow. “I don’t even know where to start…”
“Wherever is easiest,” Cormac says.
My hands tighten on the arms of the chair, and my mind races. “When I found out I was pregnant with Lukas, I was living at the Jacksonville Demons’ clubhouse. I moved in right after I graduated high school. I went to my first party there a week after I turned eighteen.”
Malachy curses under his breath, but Patrick simply quirks an eyebrow.
That fucker.
Something about him gets under my skin, but in a good way.
I don’t know.
It’s confusing for me too.