Chapter 4
4
KELLI
W aking up Thursday morning wasn’t as rough as the previous few days. Despite staying up later than normal, I slept with ease. I’m not sure if it was due to the comfort of the cameras and added security or if it was the emerald green eyes that met me again in my dreams. I replayed our interaction on the couch, except in my dream when he stroked my knee, his hands slowly moved their way up until he hooked his hands around my shorts and peeled them down. I need to get laid. I was grateful it wasn’t the familiar brown eyes that have been haunting my dreams for the last few years, though. As it was, I still needed a cold shower before work.
My schedule at Mercy Hospital varied, but most weeks I ended up doing six, ten hour shifts due to understaffing. This week was one of those weeks and although I had already worked Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday, I had to work today, tomorrow and Sunday as well.
My drive into work was a little distracted by thoughts of Josh. I wanted to text him and thank him again and ask if he got home safe, but I don’t even know where he lives. I hope it’s around Boston since he stayed so late last night, but it would make more sense if he lived in Winthrop near Brian since they are business partners.
He honestly didn’t show any interest last night aside from the hand on my knee and only gave me his number in case I was in trouble or my stalker came around again. I had my every few months booty call Tyler to keep the cobwebs clear, but other than that, I haven’t really dated since I started at Mercy five years ago. My schedule was too crazy for it, and now I realized I was seriously out of practice. Something about the way Josh carried himself had me believing he would do a much better job than Tyler, so maybe it was time to get back on that dating train.
As I pulled into the employee lot, I pulled out my phone to let Danny know I got to work safe. He was like a mother hen these last few days, constantly checking in. The halls from the employee entrance were mostly clear, but Natalie’s signature high ponytail popped out of the locker room in front of me. She waited as I dropped off my purse and we made our way to the break room together to fill up on coffee. Our shoes squeaked on the newly polished floors throughout our shift, which normally annoyed me, but working with Natalie always made for a good day. There were no losses on our watch and things remained surprisingly quiet which gave us a lot of down time to chat.
“What do you think, do I text him?” I spun my chair in slow circles at the nursing station. I decided to tell her about the direct message and note in my mailbox, and of course, Josh.
“I mean, he did give you his number. Even if he said safety was the reasoning.” She took a slow sip of her coffee leaning back in her chair. “If he truly showed no interest then maybe that was the reason, but I feel like you should give it a day or so and see if he texts you. I would be surprised if he didn’t. You’re a total catch.”
“Ugh, you’re probably right. This whole situation is just really making me realize that I don’t want to be alone anymore, you know?” I love my mother dearly but I was starting to see similarities in how we prioritize a steady income and career to be able to rely on ourselves instead of relationships. I don’t want to look back ten years from now with the money to travel the world, but no one to travel with. Money wasn’t all that life was about. “I will wait and if he doesn’t text by Saturday then he really isn't interested and I will work on setting up a dating profile. Just the thought makes my skin crawl with all the superficial men and small talk I am going to have to go through.”
Natalie’s laugh echoed around us. “Welcome to dating in the 21 st century, it’s a dog-eat-dog world out there. If you’re lucky, it will be a dog eat cat world though.” She winked at me and continued laughing as she got up to check on a patient.
A little after five, purse and phone in hand, I sauntered out to the employee parking lot. Maybe I would pick up dinner on the way home and eat it on my porch while watching the sunset. I pulled up some local restaurants, scrolling through their menus as I walked to my car. I felt lighter than I have all week, and Danny only texted me five times today to check on me which was an improvement. I promised him we could go out for drinks tomorrow after work so he can see with his own two eyes I am still alive and well even though he just saw me yesterday morning when I left his house. My car beeped as I unlocked it and I threw my purse into the passenger seat. A familiar white envelope tucked under my windshield wiper caught my attention as I climbed in. Snatching it off the windshield, I slammed and locked my door. My hands trembled trying to tear open the envelope. A photo slid out, falling into my lap. On the front was me walking into the hospital that morning smiling down at my phone, taken from entirely too close. I flipped it over to see the note written on the back.
You looked beautiful today.
– Mr.W
My eyes scoured the parking lot to see if anyone else was around while the hairs on my neck rose. There were a few other staff members walking to their cars but no one stuck out or was looking in my direction. My chest heaved with slow deep breaths as I tried to stay calm and get my trembling hands under control. This note wasn’t threatening like the others, but he was watching me and that thought alone was terrifying. The keys turned in the ignition and I slowly pulled out heading for home. I was no longer in the mood to stop for food, my anxiety at an all-time high as I checked my mirrors every thrity seconds the whole way home. I know I promised Danny and Alex that I would call the cops the next time but this note wasn’t threatening and women were not often taken seriously. I also wasn’t going to call Josh, I wasn’t any more unsafe then I had been before, and realistically there was nothing he could do.
I have been protected by Danny and Brian for most of my life. Brian fought my battles when I got bullied in school, and Danny confronted my high school boyfriend when he cheated on me. Both had made it clear to everyone in my life that I was not to be messed with. I was tired of constantly relying on others, I wanted to be my own protector. From here on out, I would be aware of my surroundings, have security walk me to my car in the evenings, only go out in groups when possible and ensure the alarm was set at home. This man was not going to intimidate me any longer. He wasn’t threatening me, and I would bet he liked initiating fear. Mr. W would not get that satisfaction from me anymore.
The rest of that week I stuck to my resolve and did everything I could to keep myself safe. I didn’t tell Danny about the new note I got yesterday when we went out for dinner and drinks after my shift on Friday. Josh never reached out and I took that as my sign to start putting myself out there.
With the decision made, I set up a dating profile like I had promised Natalie. The prospects weren’t great, but I was putting in the effort and I was proud of myself for that. I found another envelope on my car on Tuesday, this one with just a note.
I saw the new cameras, trying to watch me like I watch you?
– Mr. W.
This note wasn’t exactly threatening either. It also made me feel a sense of pride and security. The fact there was no photo meant that he must have noticed me always looking around and couldn’t get close enough to take one. Him knowing about the cameras meant he had driven by my house again, but the fact that they kept him far enough away to not put the note in my mailbox was good enough for me.
The following Friday, I had set up a date from my dating app. While I was nervous, I was also kind of excited. I put on a pretty blue sundress with some wedge heels and left my curly hair down. Carter, my date, had picked a new restaurant downtown for us to meet at. I arrived a few minutes early and saw him already standing outside the large wooden door of the restaurant waiting for me. He was good looking, average height with some muscle tone and a clean-shaven face, but he was wearing khakis and a polo, which is unfortunately a strike in my book. It didn’t look bad per se, I just have always preferred a more rugged look. He looked up from his phone and caught my eye walking up. His gaze traveled slowly down my body, his lips tugging up in a smirk as they came back up and met my eyes again. “Kelli? Wow, you are even more beautiful than in your pictures.”
My lips pulled up in a small smile. “Thank you, it’s nice to meet you.”
He took a second to give me another quick once over, stalling on my exposed legs then pulled open the door. “Shall we head in?” At least he was a gentleman. The host seated us right away at a small table near the corner of the restaurant. Sitting down, I picked up the menu immediately so I could do something with my hands. Why did first dates feel so uncomfortable? The waiter came over to grab our drink order, but Carter rudely cut him off before he could finish going over the happy hour specials. “We will have a bottle of cabernet with two glasses, and the spinach artichoke dip to start.” The waiter looked over at me, but I was a little too stunned to disagree. I hadn’t even had a chance to go through the drink menu.
“That sounds fine, can I just get a water with that as well?” He nodded giving me a small smile then moved to the next table.
Carter still perused the menu without asking if what he ordered for us was fine with me. I was going to write it off as first date nerves. “So,” I cleared my throat, “are you Boston born and bred?”
“Yep, I have lived in Wellesley all my life. I can’t see myself living anywhere else. I went to Boston College even though I had offers from Ivy Leagues. My parents bought me a place in their neighborhood so it was worth it for me to stay local.” He had barely looked up at me and was still flipping through the menu. “I think we should get the steak, it would pair best with the wine.”
It was becoming clear this wasn’t first date nerves, but red flags and narcissistic behavior. Lucky for him, I happened to love a good steak and would absolutely suffer through dealing with him for it. I was also looking at it as good practice for getting back into the dating game. When the waiter brought over our wine and appetizer, Carter ordered the steaks for us. Thankfully, the waiter asked me how I liked mine cooked and what sides I would like.
The rest of the dinner was spent with me asking Carter questions of which he answered and hardly asked any back. As the meal came to a close, he picked up the check which I had no qualms about. I felt like that was deserved after having to listen to him drone on about himself for almost two hours. I thanked him for the meal, politely declined his offer to go grab a drink and drove myself home. While that date sucked, I was proud of myself for going anyway. I couldn’t help but think about Brian on the drive home. My one night with him four years ago had set the bar entirely too high, and it wasn’t even a date. The conversation, the connection that felt soul deep, and the feel of his lips on mine at the end of it all. It was still haunting me. It was only my first date, though, and next time I would spend a little more time getting to know the person through the app before I agreed to a date.