Chapter 23
23
brIAN
T he storm was still sticking around a little the next morning, so we all ate breakfast together, then got ready to play our version of Jenga in the living room. While Josh and Logan got the game set up, I pulled Kelli to the side. “I’m sorry. I didn’t do a good job of expressing myself yesterday. I never want to hurt you. Seeing you cry breaks something in me.”
“I think you were really clear in expressing yourself and I’m allowed to be hurt by that. We are allowed to feel the way that we feel, B.” Her watery eyes pinning me in place.
“I know, but I still went about it all wrong. I live with a lot of regrets in this life, but walking away from you that way will always be my biggest.” I clench my hands at my sides to keep my arms from scooping her into my chest.
Her sharp inhale is the only reply I get before she nods and sits on the couch with the guys. I know she’s thinking the same thing I am. That a life was lost on my watch, but even that doesn’t compare to the loss of her from the life we were planning. Part of hating myself is hating that I was such a selfish bastard to feel that way.
When I sit in the chair across from the couch, Josh hands me a pen and points to the pile of cut up paper on the table. “Every paper needs a question. It can be dumb, inquisitive, funny, sexual, or whatever, nothing is off limits. Put them all in the bowl and every time you successfully pull a block, you have to pick out a paper and answer the question.” We all started filling up the bowl with whatever we could come up with. Logan was going through the papers twice as fast as us with a ridiculous grin, so I knew all his questions would end up being sexual in nature. When all the papers were placed in the bowl, Josh offered to go first.
He pulled out a block and put it on top. His first question pulled, he read, “If you could do the Amazing Race, who would you choose for a partner?”
“Oooh, good question,” Kelli winked at him.
“Oh, shut it, I know it was you who put it in. I would go with Brian. He has the strength, running stamina, and he speaks some Spanish and German.”
Logan looks at him totally offended. “I’m better at puzzles and cultural knowledge. Plus I can drive a stick and he can’t. Enjoy losing.” Josh and I laugh as he crosses his arms, scowling.
“My turn,” Kelli pulls out another block and question. “How many sexual partners have you had? Why do I feel like this bowl is three quarters full of questions like this?” She raises her eyebrows at all of us then starts putting up her fingers like she’s counting through them in her head. As her fingers get to ten she puts them down then continues counting as we all stare wide eyed. “Four!” She exclaims, clearly proud of her joke as three grumbles go around the room.
Logan pulls a block successfully, reading his question out loud. “What is your favorite sexual experience? Well, that’s an easy one. My first time with Kelli where she let me go all caveman on her. Literally.”
I try to hold in the rumble in my chest, but his smug little wink tells me I am not successful. I grab another block, then pull out a scrap of paper. “What three items would you save in a house fire? Hmm, that's a tough one. I would go for the photo albums, since my mom gave me some and I don’t think she has copies. My hard drive so we don’t lose all our work information.”
“Boring,” Logan coughs into his fist.
I cut him a glare. “I want to say your favorite apron just so I can burn it myself in front of you. But, I would have to say my blue and white plaid shirt.” My eyes drift to Kelli, her soft blues meeting mine with a shy smile. It’s the shirt I was wearing the night everything changed with us. It also happened to be the one I was wearing in the photo I stole from her dresser that was now hidden in my nightstand.
Josh pulls a block successfully, drawing a question from the bowl. “Marry, fuck, kill with the others in the room.” He deadpans toward Logan. “Kill Logan, fuck Brian, marry Kelli.”
“What?! You would fuck Brian?!” Logan screeches.
“If it means I’d get to marry Kelli, sure.”
“I’d be honored,” Kelli’s quiet voice cuts in, all of us turning wide eyes on her.
Logan’s smile is so wide as Josh’s face flushes beet red. “Your turn, baby girl.” Kelli plops her piece up top before picking out a question.
“What would you tell your childhood self? I would have so much to say to her, but I think I would tell her it’s okay to pursue your career and passions, but don’t let life pass you by while doing it. From the minute I started nursing school until now, that has been my sole focus in life. I haven’t taken a fun vacation or traveled like I always wanted; I just worked.”
“There is no time like the present to change that. We can all take a trip together when your stalker is caught, if you want. We can decide the destination the same way, by putting ideas in a bowl and randomly picking.”
She smiles sweetly at me. “I love the sound of that, B.”
“I’m filling that bowl with only tropical locations, and if you guys pick something stupid like California, I will punch you,” Logan quips before picking next. “What is your love language? Easy, quality time is what I prefer and acts of service are how I best express my love.” That seems extremely accurate for him, as he goes above and beyond for Josh and I everyday.
My block starts teetering the tower as I pull it out and set it on top. “When was the last time you got off? Seriously Josh, I expect this from Logan.” He just shrugs at me like it’s no big deal. Do I lie, or admit it was last night and let them wonder if it was due to them next door? I can’t lie, I don’t live like that. “Last night.” The three of them exchange a glance, but don’t say anything as we continue to play. The tension between us all leaving the longer the game goes on. They may not have forgiven me for upsetting Kelli last night, but things were getting better, at least.
A little after lunch, there is finally a break in the rain, so I convince Kelli to come shoot with me while we have the chance. She has been doing surprisingly well with her aim after a week of practice, so I wanted to make things a little harder, and remind her of the joys of our childhood. As we walk out to the spot where our targets are usually set up, Kelli spots the bottles and cans that I snuck out to hang up in random trees. Her laughter flows through me when she realizes what I’m up to.
“Do you remember doing this for me when we were younger?”
“You were so annoying with that stupid slingshot.” Her tone is teasing as she bumps her shoulder into mine. “My humble best friend suddenly got a big head, with his ‘I can shoot anything anywhere with this thing’ attitude,” she says, mimicking me from when we were kids.
I had gotten that slingshot for my birthday and practiced in the backyard with it every day for weeks. I was convinced I was far superior than anyone, and that it made me cool as shit. Danny and Kelli apparently got annoyed with my constant bragging and showboating, so they set up what they deemed ‘impossible targets.’ Soda cans had been strung up on trees in the park down the street on what I swear was the windiest day of the year. They were swinging like crazy, and I could hardly hit a single one.
Of course, they thought it was hilarious and wouldn’t let me have a re-do when the wind died down. I never picked up that stupid slingshot again, but those two heckled me about it for years. Well, payback came today in the form of lingering wind from the storm.
“You were getting too big for your britches, hitting all of my targets, so I figured we could have a little fun today. If you happen to not be able to hit any, I won’t even bring it up again every chance I get.” The smile on our faces wide as we laughed and walked down memory lane. This was exactly what I knew I could give her that the others couldn’t and why I knew she needed her best friend back while her life fell apart around her.
“Alright, B, you’re on. But, if I hit more than five, you have to tell everyone how amazing of a shot I am every chance you get, and how I’m better than you.” Her confidence was so sexy, and her little smirk adorable. She put her hand out for me to shake. “Deal?”
“Deal.” I shook her hand, then handed her the handgun we had been working with all week. She didn’t know, but we all had gotten it for her specifically, the size perfect for her with minimal kickback. I watched as she walked around the woods looking for a good spot before setting up in a comfortable stance and taking aim. Her first shot just barely missed, the wind definitely aiding in that. Her second missed by a lot, lodging into a branch behind one of the cans. She let out a huff, readjusted her shoulders, and let off the next shot that was followed by a ping on the can she hit.
I expected a little celebration, or a smug look over her shoulder at me. Instead, she took aim at the next, hitting that as well. I had five cans and five water bottles strung up in total, and after about twenty shots, she had eight hits. My head shook as I watched in amazement. Moving targets in the trees and she still had better aim than some of the men I served with, proving once again, this woman was so far out of everyone’s league, it wasn’t even funny.
She finally turned back to me with that smug look on her face as light rain started falling. “You want me to keep going in the rain, or is that good enough for you?”
I took the gun from her, emptied the magazine, and put it in its case. “We can go in, smart ass. You are an amazing shot and better than me,” I mocked. Her laughter rang out again, the tightness in my chest expanding. A low roll of thunder sounded overhead as the rain started to pick up. “Let’s go, dove.”
I grabbed her hand to help maneuver through the soggy ground. The wind picked up, pelting the rain in our faces. We raced back, but we were already soaked, our legs covered in mud by the time we reached the house. I pulled open the door to the back of the garage, letting Kelli in before slamming it shut behind us. “Well, that came out of nowhere.”
I slipped off my boots as Kelli did the same. “Let’s strip out here and throw our things in the wash so we don’t track it through the house.”
“You trying to get me naked, Brian?” She giggled as she pulled her sweater over her head.
“Trying to get you clean and dry, but naked is a nice bonus.” I stripped off my jeans, followed by my sweater, leaving me in only my boxers. I reached out to take Kelli’s socks and sweater from her, just waiting for her to take off her pants, when her eyes suddenly locked on my side.
Shit .
“Where the hell did you get that bruise from?” She asks as she lifts my arm to examine the purple bruise that’s forming where Josh punched me yesterday. Her wet fingers traced over it, then tracked higher to the tattoo on my side. “Brian. What is this?”
Avoiding the second question, I laughed off the bruise, but it sounded as forced as it was. “Oh, uh, Josh didn’t take too kindly to me making you cry yesterday. We’ve always dealt best with our fists for things like that.” Her eyes shot up to mine, but quickly dropped back down to the willow tree tattoo that was on my side. At the base of the tree, figures of two kids could be seen between the branches.
“We will circle back to that later. When did you get this?” Her fingers tentatively traced the outline of the willow.
“Three and a half years ago,” I respond as her fingers slide down my side before she finally lets my arm drop. She turns around to strip off her pants, adding them to the pile, before heading inside.
She looked back over her shoulder, eyes sliding down my side, giving her head a small shake as a tear slipped down her cheek. “It’s beautiful.” I hate seeing the agony in her eyes, but the glimmer of the tears make her blue eyes shine. Her eyes have always been able to draw me in. I could see straight through to her soul through them. She never closed them off to me, not until this moment. Watching that light in her eyes shutter and dim struck me right through to my damaged heart.
I threw the clothes down, grabbed her wrist, and turned her to fully face me. I didn’t want to be the reason for her tears anymore. For years, I dreamed of being the guy to easily hold her in my arms, kiss her until we were both breathless. For just one moment, I wanted to be that guy for her. “You’re beautiful.”
Her lips pop open on a sharp inhale, so I take advantage of that. In one quick motion, I scoop her up under her thighs, pressing her against Josh’s truck behind her. My lips meet hers in a hungry kiss. Her supple lips, finally back on mine after all this time, is enough to make me weak in the knees. I pour my heart into the kiss, letting my hips hold her in place so I could run my hand up her side with one hand while the other tips her head back, allowing me to deepen the kiss. Our tongues danced, our hips starting to rock against each other. I was hard as steel, lined right up against her hot center. Pulling back from our kiss, I peppered kisses over her face, across her lips, and down her neck. Nuzzling my head into her neck, I breathe in my favorite honeysuckle scent.
I left my head there, both of us breathing heavy, reeling in the feel of being in each other’s arms this way again. I shouldn’t have done this, but every part of it felt so right. I felt complete in a way I hadn’t in so long. Her dainty hands threaded through my hair, pulling at it to make me look at her. Her bright eyes saw everything in mine, my love and desire for her, but also that closed off part that wouldn’t allow me to be with her. I watched that light in her slowly dim again as she slid down my body, her head hung low. She left and went upstairs to shower, and when she came back downstairs later, we didn’t talk about it again.