8. Chapter Eight
Katie’s breath hitched in her chest, though her heart beat with longing. For some reason, she’d believed that she needed to see the attorney before entering Grandma’s cottage, but it struck her now that wasn’t true. She could go home.
“Yes, I would like to see it.”
They both got up to get their shoes. Back outside, Katie walked close to Ethan under the big yellow umbrella he had pulled from the hall closet. They followed a path through the trees toward Grandma’s property that paralleled the lake. How many times had the two of them dashed along this path? Obviously, Ethan had maintained it over the years. Instead of worn dirt and pine needles like when they were kids, it looked like he’d put down mulch sometime within the last couple of years.
About halfway between the house and cottage, he motioned to the narrow point that jutted into the lake between the two properties—the same point where they’d attempted their campout. “Remember the fort we built?”
Memories of the teepee-like fort she, Ethan, and his siblings had constructed one summer filled her mind. She grinned. “Yes, and I distinctly remember that day we all piled inside while it was raining and ate those Bottle Caps candies. I loved those.”
“That fort stayed impressively dry. I’m sure Joel would try to claim credit since it was his idea to use pine branches before covering it in leaves.”
Katie laughed and eyed the structure still standing amongst the couple of pines growing there. “Looks like someone’s kept the tradition alive.”
“Yeah, I helped Joel’s kids build that last summer. I wanted them to have the same fun memories.”
His smile warmed her heart with how much he enjoyed interacting with them. “Sounds like you’re a great uncle.”
He shrugged, his smile still intact and displaying his love for his family. “We have fun. It’d be nice if you met them before you have to leave.”
“I’d like that.” She wasn’t sure where the visit would fit in, but she did wish to see them. It was crazy to think of Joel with four kids when he hadn’t even been married when she left. So much had changed.
A little beyond the peninsula, the trees opened up, and Katie saw the cottage for the first time in fifteen years. Small and quaint, the white siding and green tin roof were just like she remembered. The sight of it pressed on her lungs and blurred her vision. She blinked hard to clear it as they approached the enclosed front porch. The red screen door drew a teary smile to her face. It had faded over the years and could use a fresh coat of paint, but everything about it made her think of Grandma.
Ethan reached out to open it and let her in ahead of him. Katie sucked in her breath. The porch had hardly changed since she’d left. The mismatched wicker furniture occupied the same places, and various knickknacks and vintage items adorned the white shiplap walls. Ethan closed the umbrella and leaned it against the wall before reaching into his pocket and pulling out a key. When he unlocked the main door, he motioned her into the cottage.
Katie slowly stepped inside. Memories engulfed her as she looked around the rustic country kitchen and dining area that opened into a cozy living room. The navy and white checkerboard-painted floor creaked under her as she walked deeper into the cottage. Tears came again, this time running down her cheeks. It even smelled the same—a little musty with so much vintage furniture but pleasant and homey. She ran her hand along the red Formica dining table in one corner of the kitchen and stepped around the island into the living room. Grandma’s entire life was in this cottage, and it was as if she had never left. Almost as if she was still here and would appear from the doorway of her little downstairs craft room.
Katie stepped into that room next. Though cluttered like most of the cottage, it contained all the best clutter—piles of colorful fabric scraps, baskets full of ribbons and spools of thread, jars of vintage buttons. She drew a shaky breath and rested her hand lovingly on Grandma’s old sewing machine on an antique table under the windows. A still-pinned piece of fabric lay next to it, waiting to be sewn. She squeezed her eyes shut, struggling to breathe through the burning in her chest.
When she opened them again, she found Ethan in the doorway, his eyes misty. Katie swallowed hard, working her throat loose. “This is where she taught me how to sew. She loved this room so much.”
She wiped her sleeves across her face and moved on to the rest of the cottage, including the two small upstairs bedrooms. Every nook and cranny held a memory. She stopped to look at photos and other trinkets Grandma had left behind. Ethan remained near but let her take her time and grieve in a way she hadn’t been able to yesterday. Though he said little, his steady presence comforted her. Even before Grandma had died and with Drew around, loneliness clung to her—something she’d experienced most of her life except for when she was here. Maybe it was just being back at the one place that had ever been home, but somehow she didn’t feel alone with Ethan.
After a long look around, Katie sank into the cushions of the living room couch, the comfort she found here stained with regret. Ethan sat beside her, and she shifted to face him, fighting tears. Her voice barely reached a cracked whisper. “I should have come back while she was still here.”
Ethan reached over and took her hand. His fingers were calloused, probably from his woodworking, but gentle and warm. “Life isn’t always that simple. Were you still in California before her stroke?”
She nodded, reaching up with her free hand to wipe her face with her sleeve. She hadn’t been financially or emotionally able to come back then, but it didn’t erase the regret. She could have made it work. Somehow. “Yes. I chose to stay when my mom and Grant moved back to Wisconsin.” She breathed out a long breath. It had been the moment she had escaped. It still terrified her.
“Were you happy after they left?”
A sad laugh broke from Katie’s chest, sounding more like a sob, and she shook her head. “No. I had always believed things would magically get better after I was free of Grant.” She sniffed back tears. Even now, with therapy, it was still hard to talk about, but Ethan made it easier. “Turns out, all the baggage and trauma stayed behind and had a bigger impact on my self-esteem than I’d ever realized. I struggled with depression during those six years, and I realize now how lonely I was. I bounced around between jobs and never truly connected with anyone.”
Ethan’s thumb brushed lightly over the back of her hand. “I’m sorry. I’m sure that was hard.”
“Yeah. And then Grandma had her stroke.” Katie swallowed down the bitterness that still rose whenever she remembered that time. “My mom didn’t even call me when it happened. I didn’t find out until they had already moved her into the nursing home in Madison.”
“Why would she do that?”
“I think she knew I would fight the decision. Grandma loved it here in Two Lakes. I know she didn’t leave willingly, but she made the best of it once it was done.”
Ethan shook his head. “She didn’t deserve that.”
“No, she didn’t. That’s why I finally moved back. I couldn’t bear thinking of her in that nursing home with no one around who loved her. I don’t think my mom visited her once the whole time she was there. So I moved to Elling. It’s just north of Madison. I didn’t want to be in the city and risk running into them somewhere. I visited Grandma almost every day. And despite everything, she just kept smiling and never lost her joyful spirit. She lived her whole life that way. I’ve always envied that about her.”
“She was an extraordinary lady.”
“Yes, she was.” Katie sighed, taking in the room around her—the old photos on the walls, the lace-edged curtains she’d made, the colorful, mismatched throw pillows. “If only my mom would have just left me here with her. Grandma was always more of a mother to me than Mom was, even before Grant. If not for all the time she poured into teaching me, taking me to church, and making sure I understood the Gospel, I’d probably be as messed up as Christopher.” The thought terrified her. But Grandma hadn’t been the only positive influence in her life. She managed a weak smile and squeezed Ethan’s hand. “You were a big part of that too. You and your family. You gave me a sense of family and belonging I never would have had otherwise.”
Ethan stared at their joined hands before meeting her eyes again. “I’m glad we could provide that for you. All of my best childhood memories are from when we were together.”
Katie’s throat constricted painfully at how Mom and Grant’s actions had ripped it all away from them. “I didn’t think I would survive without all of you. I begged to come back.” That begging had earned her a broken wrist. “Those were the worst years of my life. I missed you so much. I wanted to email you, but they always monitored it. I tried to send you a letter once, but they caught me, and I never dared to try again. My mom said I needed to forget about you and move on.”
“I wrote you letters too for a long while. I gave them to your grandma to send, but I assume you never got them.”
A knife twisted in Katie’s chest. She would have done anything for those letters. “No. I got some letters and birthday cards from her, but they were always open when my mom gave them to me. I assumed it was because they would take the money out, but they must have taken your letters too.”
Sometimes, it was hard not to hate her mom. She would never understand how she could be so cruel. Grant she could accept, in a way. He had no ties to her. But Mom had given birth to her. She was supposed to take care of her, to love and protect her. But that had never been true in all the years Katie had been alive.
Ethan released a sigh, one as burdened as Katie felt. “Those were hard years. It doesn’t come close to what you had to endure, but things were rough here after you left. High school was hard. I acted out and carried a lot of anger about what happened. I let it set me on a path I followed for far too long. I was mad at Grant for what he did and God for letting it happen. I regret now that I took it out on those around me. Joel and I went at it a lot.”
He shook his head, staring off with a sad remembrance on his face. “Looking back, I’m surprised he still asked me to be his best man. I didn’t deserve it. Even after I graduated, I was still a mess. I finally came to my senses when Marshall was born. He wasn’t my kid, but I knew I would be one of the adults he looked to as an example as he grew up, and I was a pretty poor example. I came home from the hospital that day, fell on my knees, and finally started getting things right.”
Heaviness pressed on Katie’s chest. In all those dark years, it hadn’t occurred to her how much leaving would have affected Ethan. Regret stung her again.
“I’m sorry I never reached out or came to visit once I was on my own. It’s not that I didn’t remember you or didn’t want to see you again.” She paused, truly examining what had kept her away because it hadn’t been only geographical. “I think I was afraid. Of a lot of things. Obviously, I was afraid to be anywhere near Grant again. California is a long way from Wisconsin. But I was also afraid things would be different if I came back. That you had forgotten about me and I would lose you all over again. I knew I couldn’t handle it. That probably sounds crazy, and I’m so sorry. I never considered how hard it was for you when I left.”
“No, don’t be sorry. It makes sense. I can’t imagine the pain you’ve had to go through. You never have to try to explain what you’ve had to do to cope and survive.” Then, despite everything, he smiled. “And just so you know, I’d never be able to forget you.”
All those fears she’d had seemed to melt away, bringing a smile to her face as well.
They then got up and left the cottage, though it was hard to leave it behind. The rain had ceased for the time being, so they walked down to the edge of the lake, and Katie breathed in the fresh air as she took in the scenery. Two big weeping willow trees grew along the shore, where they had played many times. A narrow dock stretched out beside them, warped and tilting after all these years. Nothing like the Harts’ big T-shaped dock that could accommodate multiple chairs for lounging. It would eventually have to be replaced depending on what happened with the cottage.
Katie wrapped her arms around her stomach as a knot coiled there. “I’m worried about Grandma’s things. It’s all pieces of her, and I can’t bear to think of anything happening to it. If it’s left to my mom, she’ll toss most of it.”
Ethan turned to face her. “You don’t think your grandma would leave it all to her, do you? I mean, she knew what your mom is like. I can’t imagine she’d entrust all her possessions to her.”
Katie shook her head, now rubbing the goosebumps that rippled up her arms at the chill that didn’t come entirely due to the weather. “No, I don’t, but…that scares me too. I don’t know how my mom will react when she finds out what’s in the will.”
“Well, whatever it says, we’ll all be here to help.”
Katie pulled in a long breath, and a little of the chill faded. She’d heard many nice and well-meaning words over the years. Most were little more than sentiment when it came right down to it. But somehow, it was different with Ethan. He meant it. Maybe because, even after all these years, she felt like she knew him better than anyone other than Grandma. Whatever happened on Monday, he would be at her side just like he had been at the funeral.
They spent another few minutes standing at the edge of the lake before it started to rain again. Ethan opened the umbrella, and they walked back to his parents’ house under the broad canopy, whose sunshine color contrasted sharply with the dreariness of the day.
Inside, they found Ethan’s parents in the living room, working on a puzzle in the corner. Tom had built a fire to ward off the dampness in the air, and Katie tucked herself into one corner of the couch to enjoy it. Ethan sank down into the opposite corner.
Evelyn shifted in her chair to look over at Katie. “I wanted to mention that we typically have the whole family over for dinner on Sundays after church, but if you don’t feel up to the inevitable chaos, we can skip this week.”
“No, please, don’t cancel on my account. I’d like to meet Joel’s kids before I leave.” Honestly, the Harts’ “chaos” was everything Katie longed for growing up—a big family who loved each other and enjoyed spending time together. She hadn’t realized how much she had missed being part of it until now.
“Well, all right then, I’ll make sure I have everything prepared. And, if you’d like, you can come to church with us in the morning.”
“I’m afraid I didn’t pack anything suitable for church.” She should have, but with as horrible as she’d known the funeral would be, attending church in Two Lakes had not crossed her mind. Even if it had, she wouldn’t have considered going alone anyway.
“I’m sure Becca has something that would fit you if you want to go. No pressure. I just want you to know you’re welcome to join us if you’d like. If not, I’m sure she would happily stay home with you.”
“Thank you. I’ll think about it. Maybe I will go.”