35. Chapter Thirty-five
Christopher didn’t call again in the week following the Fourth. While a judge had granted Katie a temporary restraining order against him, she would have to go to a court hearing to make it lasting. Just the thought of it tied her stomach in knots because Christopher was supposed to be there too. However, she had put it out of her mind for the day to enjoy her birthday.
She hadn’t planned anything for it. Birthdays weren’t a big deal since she was a kid. Drew had always done something nice for her, but it was never a big celebration. She hadn’t been sure anyone here would even remember her birthday, but she shouldn’t have wondered, especially not with Ethan. He brought it up earlier in the week and asked if there was anything specific she wanted to do to celebrate. When she had no ideas, he told her he’d take care of it, and she was happy to let him. He seemed to know her better than she knew herself most of the time anyway.
After a fun morning of rummage sales with Ethan and Megan, followed by games and old home videos in the afternoon, Joel and Naomi joined them for supper. Almost too full to enjoy cake after delicious homemade tacos, they carried their dessert plates outside to the fire pit to enjoy the warm summer evening.
“How do you feel about joining me in the big three-O?” Ethan asked as he sank into the chair next to Katie.
She shrugged, having given little thought to turning thirty until today. “Okay, I guess. I’m much more optimistic about this decade than I was about the last.”
When she compared her life now to what it had looked like when she’d turned twenty, the difference was stark. For the first time, she was excited about the future.
As soon as Katie finished her last bite of cake, Evelyn announced it was time for presents. Everyone, even Joel and Megan, had something for her.
“You guys didn’t have to do this for me. It was more than enough to spend the day together.”
Evelyn gave her a motherly look. “Everyone in this family gets something on their birthdays, including you.”
Megan offered her gift first, a gorgeously wrapped box containing various candles she’d made. Katie breathed in the delicious scents and couldn’t wait to use them, especially when fall came around. Naomi gave her a beautiful, delicate shawl she had crocheted in shades of red and gray yarn. The next gift came from Evelyn, which turned out to be a scrapbook she and Becca had put together, filled with memories from Katie’s childhood and even some from the last couple of months. She had to work not to get emotional as she flipped through the pages, cherishing the collection.
Finally, there was Ethan. Katie couldn’t stop the way her heart fluttered in anticipation. As meaningful as the other gifts had been, she had no doubt he had put meticulous thought into his. With a smile, he handed over a narrow package about eight inches wide and two feet long. She had a suspicion it was something he had made. Pulling away the wrapping paper revealed an antiqued wooden sign. Carefully painted in the center was the name of her business—The Ruby Thread—designed just like the logo Megan had helped her create.
She ran her fingers lightly over the lettering. “Ethan, this is beautiful.”
“Now you can proudly show off your brand at the craft show.”
She gave him a warm smile. “It’s perfect.”
“May I see it?” Naomi asked.
Katie passed it down to her. As everyone admired it, she noticed Ethan grab a gift bag from behind his chair.
“I have one more thing for you.”
He handed it to her, and Katie pulled out the tissue paper. She gasped when she caught her first glimpse of what was inside. Reaching in, she lifted out the mama cat toy she had wanted so badly as a child.
“Ethan! Where did you get this?”
“That’s actually Abby’s. I tracked it down at the wedding. Bradley’s kids ended up with it, but he said they wouldn’t miss it.”
Tears burned Katie’s nose even as she couldn’t stop grinning. It was just a stuffed animal, and she was an adult now, but it somehow healed one small wound from her childhood.
Ethan placed another log on the fire before reclaiming his seat. Joel and Megan had left with their families a while ago. Now, it was just Mom and Dad, Becca, and Katie around the fire. Mom had just finished a story about when they were all little, drawing laughter from each of them. Ethan looked over at Katie, enjoying the look of complete happiness and contentment on her face. As far as he could tell, she’d enjoyed every minute of her birthday. Mission accomplished.
After sitting for a while longer, Dad excused himself. It was well past when he usually headed to bed. A few minutes later, Mom got up too.
“I’m going to finish carrying things in.” She gathered the bags of marshmallows and graham crackers they’d used for s’mores.
Katie and Becca rose to help, but Becca grabbed what remained and told Katie to stay by the fire. She and Mom then headed inside, leaving Ethan and Katie alone. Instead of returning to her seat, Katie stood at the edge of the fire pit. Ethan got up to join her. They were silent for a minute or two, listening to the crackle of the fire and the chorus of frogs from the lake’s edge. It was a beautiful night to be outside.
Katie shifted next to him, and he looked over at her. She wore a contemplative expression.
“It’s weird to think about what my birthday would’ve been like if I was still living in Elling and dating Drew.”
He probably would have taken her to a fancy restaurant and bought her an expensive gift. Ethan tried not to feel like what he’d done today was lacking. He knew how much his gifts meant to her, but it was hard not to compare them with what she might have had. “Do you miss any of that?”
“No. I’m much happier here. Today has been wonderful.”
“So you’re doing all right with all of it?” Until tonight, she hadn’t mentioned Drew or the breakup since their talk in the canoe.
She shrugged but then nodded. “Yeah. It does still feel weird sometimes. It’s not that I wish we were still together; it’s just that three years is a long time to have put into a relationship that no longer exists. He was the only guy I’ve ever seriously dated. I have a hard time trusting people and letting them in. It took a long time with Drew. I’ve always been afraid to get into a relationship and then find out he’s like Grant. It’s hard to feel safe with anyone.”
“I’m sure it’s difficult to trust when you’ve been hurt so badly by the people you should have been the safest with.”
“It is. And now I know I’ll have to start all over if I ever want to be with someone again.”
“I don’t know. I think, maybe, with the right guy, it won’t be as difficult.” Even though it was like taking a two-by-four to the chest, he prayed she would find a man she felt safe with. Someone she could trust and who would take care of her. He just wanted her to be happy and protected.
She mulled that over for a long moment before taking a deep breath. “So, what about you? I have to say I’m shocked a good guy like you wasn’t married a long time ago. I have a hard time believing you haven’t caught the eyes of multiple single women at church.”
What was he supposed to say to that? He would have thought she’d have at least suspected the reason. Shrugging, he tried to play it cool. “I’ve just never met the right one.”
But she tipped her head at him, clearly not buying his answer. “Come on, I just laid out my fears and struggles. It’s only fair you should do the same.”
He drew in a deep breath and scratched his head. This wasn’t a conversation he’d anticipated having tonight. Or ever. He wanted to change the subject, but she was right. She trusted him enough to be open with him. He should do the same.
“I had a girlfriend about four years ago. We dated for a little over a year. I think she expected a ring at that point, and she had every right to, considering how serious we were.”
“What happened?”
“I ended it.”
Katie’s brows lifted.
“I had to be honest about the fact I wasn’t as into the relationship as she was, which wasn’t fair to her. I felt bad about it for a long time.”
“I’m sorry. I’m sure that was hard.” She paused, but curiosity played on her face. “So, was she just not your type?”
Once again, Ethan had no idea what to say. She really wasn’t making this easy. Surely, she had to have some idea of why he’d ended the relationship. After all, wasn’t that why things had been so strained between them just over a week ago?
His uncertainty must have been too apparent on his face because her brows had gathered as she studied him. “What is it?”
He swallowed hard, though it was as if someone was tightening the collar of his tee shirt, and his heart raced. Maybe Becca was right. Maybe leaving things unsaid was not the way to handle the situation. Maybe it was time to be completely honest. After all, she’d already suspected his feelings after the wedding anyway. Maybe putting it all out there was the best way to move past it; otherwise, it might always be this uncomfortable, unmentionable shadow looming over their friendship. Once it was out in the open and addressed, he could put it to rest.
Katie watched Ethan seem to struggle for words. It didn’t surprise her that he’d had a serious girlfriend, but she couldn’t figure out what bothered him so much. After a long moment, he turned to face her. The raw honesty in his eyes stole her breath away.
“I know we were just kids, but I loved you. Whether I’ve realized it or not, I end up comparing every woman I meet to you…and they’re not you.”
Katie’s heart stuttered, his words ringing in her mind. Had he just said he loved her? But the dance and the awkwardness…
He broke eye contact, lowering his head as if too embarrassed to keep looking at her. “But you’re my best friend. I won’t ruin that, so just forget what I said. I’ll always be here for you, no matter what. So, yeah, just…forget it. I shouldn’t have said it.”
He turned away from her as realization, shock, and hope burst like fireworks inside her chest. She grabbed his arm. He looked back at her, hesitation and perhaps his own tiny spark of hope igniting on his face.
“Ethan.” So many thoughts and feelings raced through her mind.
He turned to face her again, searching her face.
She held his gaze. “I feel the same way.”
Shock registered in his eyes, that spark of hope growing. “You do? But the conversation after the wedding. I thought you were uncomfortable after the dance and were telling me you just wanted to be friends.”
She almost laughed. Of all the unfortunate misunderstandings. “I told you that because I thought you were uncomfortable and just wanted to be friends.”
He shook his head. “No, that’s not how I felt at all.”
They stared at each other for a long moment, the truth sinking in. He loved her. And she loved him. Desperately.
He shifted closer, his gaze lingering on her lips before meeting her eyes again. Tentatively, as if waiting for confirmation, his hand rose to cradle the side of her face. She leaned into it, her eyes closing at the warm touch. That was all the confirmation needed. He tipped her chin gently, and their lips met. Her breath left her in a sigh.
He kissed her slowly and tenderly but with a fervor that spoke volumes about the depth of his feelings for her. His hand dropped, and his arms wrapped around her, drawing her close, and Katie melted into the embrace. She didn’t think she’d be able to stand at all if he hadn’t been supporting her.
He broke it off a moment later, though his forehead pressed against hers. They just stood that way for a long moment, breathing together. Then he spoke, his voice low and breathless.
“I’ve been waiting over fifteen years to do that.”
Katie could only smile. If he felt at all like she did, it had been worth the wait.
He leaned back just a little to look her in the eyes. His hands slid up to grip her arms gently. As dreamy as the kiss had been, his expression was almost grave, a solemn vow ringing in his tone.
“No matter what happens, I want you to know you’re safe with me. Always.”
“I know.” It was what had drawn her to him from the very start, even as a young kid, growing from a beautiful friendship to this deep love she now felt.
Ethan couldn’t believe he wasn’t dreaming. He had waited for this moment for most of his life. Reaching up again, he brushed his fingers over her face and through her soft hair, convincing himself it was real. Now that the truth was out, he wanted there to be no doubt about where he stood.
“I love you, Katie. I have for as long as I can remember.”
Moisture pooled in her eyes, reflecting the flicker of flames from the dying fire. “I love you too.”
Overwhelmed by her reciprocated declaration, Ethan drew her in for another kiss. She fit so right in his arms, and kissing her was everything he’d dreamed of. It was hard to stop, but a quiet voice of wisdom warned him to be careful. After how long he’d waited, he wanted to do this right.
He pulled back and studied her soft expression and flushed cheeks. He loved her so much it hurt, and there weren’t enough words to tell her that. But, somehow, he would try over the next days and weeks and, hopefully, months and years.
With a comfortable sigh, he glanced toward the house. Most of the lights were off, and Mom had likely gone to bed. Becca was probably still up, but she might not be for much longer. It was strange that she hadn’t rejoined them, but maybe she’d had ulterior motives. He’d have to thank her for that.
“I guess it’s getting late, isn’t it?”
Katie blinked as if just now returning to reality. “Yeah, I suppose I should go home.”
Ethan nodded. They had plenty of time to explore and develop this shift in their relationship. It was probably best to call it a night and pick things up in the morning. “I’ll help you carry your gifts.”
He picked up Megan’s box of candles and the sign he had made while she grabbed the rest. Together, they walked along the darkened path toward the cottage.
“Have you really wanted to kiss me all these years?”
Though he could barely see her face since the trees blocked out most of the moonlight, Ethan heard a grin in her voice. He smiled too, his mind jumping to the past. “Yes. I thought about it so many times in the year before you left, but I was always too scared to make a move. That and I figured my parents and your grandma wouldn’t approve.”
“I suppose not. We were pretty young.”
“Just kids. But the way I felt about you has never changed.”
He caught the glint of her eyes as she looked up at him, and he could tell a smile remained.
At the cottage, she opened the door, and they set her gifts on the kitchen counter. Then she turned to him.
“Thank you for today and the gifts. It was a birthday I’ll never forget.”
“I’m glad.” He was so tempted to kiss her again, but he resisted and backed out the door. “Goodnight.”
She echoed him softly, and he headed home, excitement and awe thrumming in his chest. He looked up at what stars he could see through the trees, searching for a way to express his gratitude to God. Like telling Katie how much he loved her, there weren’t adequate words. He knew life had profoundly changed tonight, filling him with anticipation for what lay ahead.
Back at the house, he hosed down the remaining flames in the fire pit and let himself inside. He expected to find Becca watching TV, but she and Mom sat in the living room talking over mugs of coffee. They paused when he walked in, and he gestured over his shoulder.
“I walked Katie home and put the fire out. I just wanted to let you know before I turn in.”
“All right, thank you.” Though it was all she said, Mom peered at him expectantly.
“What? Why are you looking at me like that?”
“Oh, I just thought you had something more to say with how you’re smiling.”
Ethan frowned, though even then, his lips betrayed him. “Smiling? What do you mean? A guy can’t just smile?”
She gave him a look. “Ethan, that’s the smile you get when you’re either hiding something or trying to keep a secret.”
He bowed his head, the smile breaking out full force regardless of how he’d tried to hide it. It was impossible to contain after how tonight had gone, especially in front of Mom. While he’d intended to wait until morning to tell everyone, he had no choice now. “If you must know, Katie and I had a conversation at the fire, and we realized our feelings were aligned all along.”
Now it was Mom’s turn to grin, her face lighting up with joy. “It’s about time.”
“I knew it!” Becca turned to her. “Didn’t I tell you it would be a misunderstanding?”
Ethan shook his head at them. “You two have been talking behind my back about this all along, haven’t you?”
Mom shrugged. “Merely discussing your predicament and how we might assist, but as always, God had it all worked out.”
Ethan laughed quietly. Yes, He did.