11. Chapter 11
Justin
My breath catches. Kiss him? My first reaction is panic, but not for the obvious reason. I’m not freaking out because my captor wants to take things to the next level. I’m panicking because I worry I’ll be bad at it.
My heart is thumping against my ribs so hard Cameron must feel it, or maybe he just expects the worst from me at this point, because he starts comforting me again.
“It’s okay, Justin. A little kiss. Or a big one, if you feel up to it.
It would make me so happy.” His thumb swipes at my mouth.
“I’ve seen you look at my lips. You want to kiss me, don’t you? ”
The most messed up thing so far is that I really do want to kiss him. To keep him happy, yes, but also because I’m curious. There’s just a small problem. “I’ve never…”
“You’ve never kissed anyone before?”
“No! I’m not a virgin,” I protest before realizing that assuring my captor of my sexual experience is probably not the best idea. “I’ve just…”
“Never kissed a man before?” Cameron laughs. It’s not a mean laugh that would make me feel stupid, just a warm sound of genuine amusement. “Do you think that a man’s mouth is different from a woman’s? It’s absolutely the same. Just take it slow and experiment. You’ll see that it feels right.”
That’s what I’m afraid of. Still, my captor commanded me to kiss him, so I have to obey, even if he isn’t currently threatening me.
In a way, it would be much easier if he was.
If he held me down and took everything he wanted from me.
Making me do it is devious. It makes me look like I actually want to, which I don’t. Not. At. All.
I blow my nose again and clean my face the best I can. Then, because the position is giving me a crick in my neck, I shift to straddle Cameron. And if my cock is now rubbing against his rock-hard abs as a result? Well, that’s just a coincidence.
I can’t resist rolling my hips a few times, squeezing my cock between our bodies. Cameron’s own erection is back, tenting his pants and poking my ass, which should feel much scarier than it does. He makes a sound low in his throat as I grind on it, and I stop immediately.
What am I doing?
A glance at his lips reminds me. I’m kissing him, or at least gathering the courage to do so.
I’ve kissed girls before. I’m not sure how good I was at it, but a few of them had sex with me afterwards, so I couldn’t have been too terrible. And Cameron is right. A mouth is a mouth. It doesn’t matter what body it belongs to. What hot, big, muscular body…
Holy shit, how have I not realized I was gay before?
“Okay,” I whisper to myself as I lean closer.
My lips touch Cameron’s in the shortest kiss ever, and when no pillar of light appears to smite me for my sins, I kiss him again, properly this time.
No tongue, because I can’t really bring myself to go that far just yet, but I press my mouth against his, feeling how soft his lips are, how easily we fit together.
It’s similar to kissing a girl, yet completely different.
His stubble scratching against my skin adds a whole new layer of sensation to the kiss, and knowing that he’s so much bigger and stronger than me doesn’t let me forget that despite me kissing him, he’s the one in charge here.
I only realize I’ve wrapped my arms around his neck when I come up for air, my eyes fluttering open to find Cameron watching me with such wonder it sparks something warm in my chest. No one has ever looked at me like that.
He cups my face, his thumbs caressing my cheeks. “You’re perfect,” he whispers reverently. “One more?”
He’s asking, not demanding, and I have a feeling that if I pulled away, he would have let me.
I don’t know how I’ve come to that conclusion, but it feels right.
Of course, he might make me do something worse than kissing, but for now, I let myself believe I have some power here, that I’m not at the complete mercy of a crazy sadist.
“Okay,” I repeat much more confidently, and pull Cameron closer. He easily submits, tilting his head to mold his mouth against mine once more.
This time, I dare to swipe my tongue over his lips.
They part on a moan, his arms wrapping tighter around me.
It makes my cock rub against him, and my own moan twines with his.
His tongue slides against mine, and in the tension of his body, I can feel how hard he’s holding himself in check, stopping himself from taking control.
Lost in the kiss that quickly grows heated, I roll my hips until we’re both moaning in pleasure.
“Justin.”
My name slips from Cameron’s lips like a prayer, like instead of calling out to god, he’s calling me, and it fills me with more confidence.
A distant part of me is horrified by my actions, questioning whether this is still an attempt to appease my captor or whether it’s just me chasing my own pleasure now.
I suspect that voice will grow louder later but for now, it’s easy to ignore.
Cameron’s hands knead my ass, his fingers dangerously close to my hole. At this moment, I don’t mind. I want it. I… think?
Okay, no, I don’t want it. The thought of Cameron fucking me is still scary enough to make me whimper between my moans and shudder even as I grind against him, so now I’m both scared and desperately aroused at once.
I want to come. I need to come, but the thought of what comes next terrifies me.
Besides, I should probably ask for permission to come, or something like that.
I’m not extremely well-versed in this lifestyle, but I do know that.
Cameron senses my tension and gently strokes my back. “Ssh, it’s okay. See? It wasn’t so bad, was it?”
“No,” I’m forced to admit. It wasn’t bad at all, which is what scares me. I’m not supposed to be enjoying this.
A smack on my ass makes me hastily correct myself. “No, Sir.”
“Good boy,” Cameron says and something inside of me reacts viscerally to that simple praise, making me want to do anything to hear it again.
I know it’s wrong, but I can’t seem to push that thought away.
The fact that I’m still painfully hard doesn’t help, my arousal’s too distracting to let me think straight.
“Please, Sir? May I come?” I blush at how needy and desperate I sound. I’ve only ever heard those words in porn. I never thought people actually said them in real life, and here I am, begging my captor for an orgasm. But my little head is running the show now, and it wants what it wants.
“I appreciate you asking for permission, but not yet.” Cameron laughs at my pout and kisses the tip of my nose. “You have to earn it first.”
Earn it? I’m already playing his game, even if it doesn’t feel like a pretense at the moment. I kissed him. What more does he want me to do?
Come to think of it, there are several things he might want me to do.
My suspicion is proved correct when Cameron gently pushes me off his lap and between his spread legs.
When I start panicking again, Cameron strokes my cock and fondles my balls until I’m barely keeping myself upright and I’m thrusting against his hand like the desperate whore I am.
“There you go.” Cameron chuckles, but it’s not a mean laugh. “Breathe, pet. Focus on this.” He twists his hand on the upstroke, making me see stars. This time when my knees wobble, instead of helping me stay upright, he gently but firmly pushes me to the floor.
I know what’s coming even before he eases open his fly, so his cock springing out doesn’t surprise me. The size of it does. He felt big poking my ass earlier but… wow. It makes me feel inadequate when I should be worrying about how he plans on fitting that into my ass.
“Kiss me, pet,” Cameron says, but when I start to get up, he stops me with a shake of his head. Blood drains from my face when I realize what part of him he wants me to kiss.
Fuck. I’ve definitely never done that before.
I’ve barely even seen cocks other than my own, let alone touched them or kissed them.
I’ll probably be terrible at it. When Cameron sucked me off earlier, he made it seem easy, but there must be years of practice behind his skill.
I’ve only just figured out that I might like men as well as women.
I’m not ready to dive straight into the deep end of things.
What if I accidentally bite him? What if I take him too deep and throw up?
What if I enjoy it?
“Don’t think so much about it,” Cameron says. His hand is on the back of my head, fingers gently massaging my scalp. He isn’t pulling me closer. Just like before, he’s waiting for me to make the move. Making it look like it’s my choice, and isn’t that just plain evil?
Cameron startles me by snapping his fingers. “Justin, look at me.”
I realize I’ve been staring at his cock without really seeing it, lost in thought and not paying attention to my surroundings.
When I meet Cameron’s gaze, he’s watching me intently, powerful emotions swirling in his eyes.
Not anger, thank god, but unbridled desire mixed with a healthy dose of impatience.
“Don’t think,” he says, his fingers momentarily squeezing my head.
“Just do what I say. You are taking my cock tonight. That’s nonnegotiable.
The only choice you get about it is whether it’s going in your mouth or your ass, but that choice is a privilege I can easily take away.
” His expression softens. “You’ve been such a good boy so far.
I know you’re scared and I know it’s a lot to take in, but I believe in you.
You can do this, and you want that reward, don’t you? ”
Reminding me of my aching arousal brings it to the forefront of my mind again. This time, I don't fight it. It's better to get lost in that sensation than to think about my shitty situation and what I'm about to do. Put another man's cock into my mouth.
“I don’t have a choice,” I whisper to myself. An absolution, perhaps. It's this or something much more painful. Or death, if Cameron loses his patience with me. I don't feel like dying today, so I lower my head and give Cameron's cock a tentative lick.