Chapter 19 #2
The smell of iron drifted on the wind. Startled, I stepped back, spotting a stream of blood curling through the air around me. A rush of heat brushed my cheek as fire streaked across the blood, creating a stream of light that coalesced into a little floating ball of burning red.
Seraphim appeared from the night, hand twirling as she controlled her magic. “There you are.” Joining me by the water’s edge, she lifted the ball of fire to rest above the pond. “Eleos is going to steal you as soon as he’s free, and I wanted to catch you first.”
I chuckled, rubbing my arm. With her light, I could see my reflection in the water.
Gods, I looked horrible. Scraped, muddy, bruised.
Lifting my eyes, I studied Seraphim, her tall, regal form a stark contrast to mine. Now was the perfect time to ask her about the masked nobleman’s accusations—the story of her youth and heretical crimes.
“Are you alright?” Seraphim asked, lifting my chin to inspect my face. “You look whole on the outside, at least.”
“On the outside.” I agreed.
“I called a meeting.” She continued. “I hope you don’t mind. But I got here first, in case you needed a little girl time.”
Breathing a laugh, I smiled. “I’ve never had it. But from how others talk, it sounds like I’m missing out.”
“You are.” Seraphim placed a hand on my shoulder. “I figured I should tell you something, because Eleos won’t. He bottles everything up. Nothing I learned about him came free.”
“You and Percy had me worried,” I knit my hands together. “I thought something horrible happened to him.”
“We saw the three of you just before we were separated.” She removed her hand and stood across from me. “Eleos darted away, trying to help a poor woman and her child. We lost sight of you and Seth after that.”
“I remember.”
“I. . .” She ran a hand along her braid. “I saw the writing on the wall. I grabbed Eleos and dragged him away. The mother and child died a moment later. Had he stayed, so would he.”
“Does he blame you?” I asked softly.
“No. He blames himself.” She sighed. “Coupled with losing you, he took the events hard. Do you know what he said?” She spun the fire above the water, creating dancing lights on its surface.
“He was more upset that trying to help two innocents cost him you. And realizing the selfishness in that thought, his guilt only deepened.”
A thrum rang through my heart, like the strings of a lute being plucked. Part of me felt a rush of joy; the other, a cold wave of grief.
“I’m glad you’re here.” Seraphim smiled. “For many reasons. As for our scholar, try to tell him he did the right thing.”
“I will,” I promised, studying the creases of age around her eyes. “Do you regret it? Leaving that woman behind?”
“Of course.” Seraphim’s eyes lowered. “But you grow numb to it, eventually. Not everyone can be saved. You have to pick and choose who gets to live, as cruel as it might sound.”
“You’ve seen a great deal of loss, then.”
“Yes. Too much.” Seraphim gazed at her reflection in the water, her thoughts drifting to someone in her memories.
I debated questioning her—some people’s wounds deepened when they spoke of those they’d lost, others reveled in a chance to remember their loved ones. Which was she?
“Seraphim?” My voice emerged as a nervous squeak. Settling my nerves, I looked down. “If you ever need someone to talk to, I’ll listen.”
Grinning, Seraphim tilted my chin back up. “You’re adorable. No wonder you have the boys enamored.”
“Hm?”
“I’ll take you up on that offer, next we have peace and quiet and a good bottle of wine.” Seraphim punched my shoulder lightly, turning to watch the approaching lanterns. “And so our time ends.”
Following her gaze, I counted three figures approaching through the night.
Percy swatted bugs off his exposed chest. “Why are we meeting out here?”
Seth joined my side, laughing at his friend. “If you didn’t dress like that, they wouldn’t bother you so much.”
“I’m not compromising sex appeal for comfort.” Percy planted his hands on his hips. “You’re one to talk, considering the scandalous outfit you used to run around in.”
“Hold on,” I said, eyeing Seth. “Scandalous, eh? Like how Percy dresses? Or how-”
Seth interrupted. “He’s exaggerating.”
“I am not. He-” Percy tried.
“Later,” Seth said in a low tone.
Rolling his eyes, Percy found a rock to sit on as Seraphim retrieved her ball of fire from the pond and hovered it above her palm. Seth folded his arms and stepped closer to me. He’d found time to scrape the mud from his coat and had unlaced it to show off his collarbone and a hint of his tattoo.
I stared longer than I should have, remembering waking curled up on his chest. He met my gaze. The depths of his scarlet eyes consumed me, as though I’d been cast into an endless fire.
The air felt thick. Struggling to breathe, I shimmied away from him.
Eleos joined us last, the briefest flicker of a smile touching his face as he stood beside me, and gently touched my arm.
Silence fell over us like a heavy blanket. There wasn’t any need to say what we all knew.
Seraphim chose a different topic instead. “We’ll need to be careful in Therapne. Two of us are wanted there, and our faces are well known.”
“Right.” Percy cleared his throat with noticeable guilt. “We could wear our masks, but the refugees present a problem. Arrive with them, and we’re sure to fall under scrutiny.”
“We can’t abandon them.” Seraphim shook her head. “We’ll guide them in, and hope the clergy sees them to safety. Can you think of a cover story, Perse?”
“Easily. We’re traveling for a funeral.” He offered. “But that’s not the problem. My father knows me all too well, and Eleos. . .”
I stared into the fire, brow furrowed. Percy called Therapne home, and so did Eleos. I could muster a guess as to why Percy would be unwelcome—he’d deserted the army and his father was an officer, after all—but why Eleos?
I looked to him for answers, but he remained silent.
“Well,” Seth rolled his shoulders, “I say we forego disguises. We’ll drop the refugees off and skirt around the border.”
“Agreed,” Eleos said.
Reaching into her coat pocket, Seraphim produced the Maiden’s Bloodstone. “If this thing shielded us from the Empty, I couldn’t tell.”
“It didn’t.” Eleos spat harshly. “It’s a religious relic, propped up as an excuse for stagnation.”
“Rumors and legends come from something.” Seraphim turned it over in her palm, the scarlet stone catching the light of her fire. “It doesn’t look like any normal rock. It has to be something.”
“But what?” I asked.
Eleos chuckled harshly. “Who knows? Lying comes easier to clergy than even nobles.”
The bitter hatred in his voice was unlike him. I blinked at him, surprised.
Percy removed his hat, shaking a bug out of it. “Who cares? We have Aethra.”
“Don’t get too excited,” Seth said. “We’d need a legion of mages like her to push it back any meaningful distance. The short path she made for us nearly knocked her out.”
“Still,” Percy marveled, “It’s incredible. I don’t think anyone believed the Empty could be erased.”
“Aethra,” Seraphim said sharply, “Don’t overexert yourself. The Acheron will take us where we need to go. Save your strength for when we find ourselves in a bind.”
“Trust me,” I said, “It wasn’t exactly pleasant. I’m not in a rush to repeat it.”
“Good.” Seraphim cupped her ball of fire, letting it dance around her fingers. “We’re all exhausted. Get some rest. If all goes well, we’ll be in and out of Therapne within a day.”
“Hm.” Percy tilted his head. “I think I’ll stay out here. Compose a song.”
“Another tragedy?” Seth guessed. “The Empty’s going to appear and swallow you.”
“Someone has to remember those who died. That’s what dirges are for.” Percy said somberly, pulling his lute off his back. “Want to keep me company?”
Seth glanced at me, tracing my figure longingly. Heat rushed to my cheeks when I realized what he was thinking, though I got the impression his impure thoughts had been subconscious.
Realizing what he was doing, Seth quickly turned away. “I suppose. Gods know you’ll get kidnapped, otherwise.”
“By who, exactly?” Percy scoffed.
Leaving the boys to patch up their relationship, I followed Seraphim’s fire back to camp. Eleos stuck quietly by my side until we found ourselves beneath the light of numerous torches, guarding the refugee camp from the dark.
Squeezing my shoulder, Seraphim took her leave. “Goodnight, you two.”
“Goodnight,” Eleos said distractedly, guiding me toward a lonely tent nestled against the trees. “Describe the pain to me again.”
Following him inside, I combed out my hair. “From the magic? It’s hard to describe.” Closing my eyes, I recalled the sensation. “Like my soul was being siphoned out.”
“I’ve never heard anything like that.” He dropped his bag in the corner. “Magic doesn’t hurt. Even chthonics grow so accustomed to spilling their blood that it becomes subconscious.”
“Maybe it was only because it was my first time,” I suggested, watching him roll out his sleeping mat. “I should let you get some sleep.”
“Lady Aethra,” Eleos said quietly, “Would you stay with me tonight?”
“Are you sure?” I tried to lighten the mood. “I thought you liked your space. You always put your bedroll well away from ours.”
“Normally, I do.” His eyelids drooped heavily. “Tomorrow, we run back into danger. The one bastion of safety is gone.” Terror pooled in his irises. “Life doesn’t dispel the Empty. Not anymore. Nowhere is safe.”
I swallowed. We traveled to Therapne for shelter. But would it protect these people?
“I just want to hold you tonight. To know for a few hours, you’re safe.” He said, voice cracking.
“I don’t want to be alone either,” I said quietly.
Relieved, Eleos pulled off his cloak and dropped his satchel as though merely preparing for bed. Nothing in his body language indicated he intended to do anything but sleep.
Men had asked me to share a bed countless times. But never simply because they cared about me.
No one had ever cared about me.
Exhausted, I shrugged off my cloak and added it to the scant bedding, collapsing into a grateful heap. Eleos blew out the lantern and knelt beside me, draping his cloak over me like a bed sheet. Crawling onto the bedroll, he nestled beside me, arm wrapped tightly around my waist.
Twisting onto my back, I sought his eyes in the darkness. “You don’t need to feel guilty, El.”
He laughed breathily. “Seraphim got to you, didn’t she?”
“It’s true. You did the right thing.”
“I’ve never been particularly. . . moral, I suppose.” He pulled me closer, tracing a thumb across my stomach. “Had I saved that woman and her child, and lost you? I would’ve made the wrong choice.”
“But. . .”
“Some people weigh life on a scale.” Eleos continued.
“No matter how much they love someone, the life of five strangers weighs more. The greater good supersedes desire.” He ran his fingers through my hair.
“But we each have something we live for. Something that makes tomorrow worth seeing. I’d rather save those I love and lead this world to ruin than lose them and succeed. ”
His words weighed heavily on my chest. What did I wake for? Before meeting Seraphim, I had roused for nothing and no one.
Did I want to protect the people I loved?
Or save this world?
Ideally, both. But I had little hope for either.
In the darkness, feeling the warmth of his body, I wondered if I should turn and kiss him.
Say something. But the longer I lay there, in the comfort of his arms, I realized the last thing I wanted to make tonight about was sex.
Rolling over, I felt his comforting presence against my back and closed my eyes.
Sex could come in better days, with smiles and laughs. Right now, all I wanted was this.
To be loved.