Chapter 20 #2
The room was small and cozy, with the queen-sized bed taking up most of the space.
On one side of the bed was a little round coffee table with two chairs for sitting.
Across from the bed, a large TV was mounted on the wall above a dresser.
There was a desk and a mini fridge as well, providing my mother with just enough to make this getaway work.
I sat down on the edge of the bed, thinking about how I still needed to shower.
It was hard to believe it was only an hour ago that things were taking a turn for Dreux and me.
Touching my lips, I could still remember the feel of Dreux’s kiss. The way he cradled my face when I finished. He’d stared at me for all of a moment before coming down and kissing me until I couldn’t think straight.
We definitely couldn’t be friends after this.
I wanted to text him, but I wasn’t sure what to say or even where to start.
Thankfully, Dreux went on the backburner as my mother stepped out of the bathroom. She was freshly changed and toweling off her hair as she padded closer.
“Wanna grab lunch? Have you eaten?” she asked as she tossed the towel aside onto one of the chairs by the bed.
I was hungry, but not enough to avoid the elephant in the room. “Mom.”
She peered down at the carpet, nodding and releasing a sigh. “It just happened, Saylor. I didn’t plan for any of this. Honest.”
She’d said she filed for divorce two weeks ago. So I chose to start there. “What happened with Richard?”
My mother frowned as she came and sat beside me. “It wasn’t working out.”
Sure, they’d never been the perfect couple, but this was still abrupt. “I need more than that.”
Her blue eyes flickered to mine, sad suddenly. “I wanted to bring you back home. We got into an argument about it. In the end, I told him I didn’t want to be with a man who wouldn’t accept my child.”
A lump lodged in my throat and I struggled to breathe around it. My eyes enlarged as my lips began to tremble.
No.
“You can’t just walk away,” I let out as I stood up. “You can’t keep letting me run people out of your life.”
My mother shook her head vigorously as she stood and wrapped me in her arms. “I’m choosing you every time.”
The floodgates broke and I threw my arms around her.
First her parents, and now Richard. I hated having to be the constant fight in her life.
“It’s okay,” my mother soothed me, rubbing my back and holding me tight. “We weren’t a good fit for each other for a while now. We’re two different people.”
The tears kept coming. Even if Richard wasn’t the one, I felt awful for my mother. She deserved so much more after all that she sacrificed.
“Hey.” She pulled back to get a good look at me. Her eyes misty. “Do not feel bad about this. I regret nothing.”
“I don’t want you to be alone,” I sobbed. “Especially because of me.”
“Oh, baby. I promise it’s not your fault.
I wasn’t happy,” my mother insisted. “These last two weeks have been a major wakeup call. I’ve never been more sure of myself.
He wasn’t the man for me.” She tapped my chin and smiled, sniffling some.
“I just wanted to see you. We’ve never spent this much time apart before. ”
We hadn’t. It was another testament to the fact that from the moment I was born, it was always about me for my mother.
“And Scott?” I asked.
Her cheeks tinted pink as she actually blushed and looked elsewhere. “I haven’t seen him in eighteen years. He really grew up.”
She was glowing. And there was no denying the way Scott had been looking at her back at the house.
I didn’t know what to make of it.
“And you’re sure about Richard?” I cared about my mother above all else. Her genuine happiness with or without a man was most important to me.
“Yes,” she said with finality. “I’m not the woman for him any more than he’s the man for me. We wanted different things.” She hugged herself, offering a bitter smile. “He’s not even fighting it. He’s not beating down my door begging to work it out. He’s gone. And that’s okay.”
“Oh, Mom.” I went and hugged her again, burying my face in her chest and breathing in her familiar scent. “I’m sorry.”
She rested her chin on top of my head. “It’s for the best.”
My mother was done with Richard, and now she’d found herself in Georgia with Scott.
I thought of the photo I had of them from before I was born. When they were just two kids falling in love one summer.
I wasn’t a romantic. Wasn’t sure if I believed in true love and all that, and I wasn’t sure if it was a good idea for my parents to be together, but stranger things had happened.
“Enough about me. How are you?” My mother took and swung my hands as she peered into my eyes. “How is Meadow Grove treating you? Do you like it?”
After so much time, the place had grown on me. Small town wonder and all.
“I’m sober for the first time in years,” I admitted.
“I’m not angry anymore. I think meeting Scott and getting to know him and facing my past was what I really needed.
There’s so much of him in me that I didn’t know I had, and there’s so much of you in me as well.
It’s not like LA, but I do like it here.
I’ve got friends and I’m finding my way. ”
Tears lined my mother’s vision and I refused to get mushy with her. “Good. I’m so happy to hear that.” She grabbed her purse. “Tell me more over brunch?”
My mother and I grabbed lunch and I spent the day with her. For the first time I wasn’t being a brat or ungrateful. It felt good to get along and not carry so much rage. If only I would’ve realized this sooner.
“Call me as soon as school lets out tomorrow,” my mother said as she was dropping me off that evening. She was only in town for the weekend and we wanted to make the most of it.
“Will do,” I let her know.
I climbed out of the Jetta and right away turned and looked to Scott. He’d already been sitting on the front porch when we pulled up. His hair was pushed back, seeming still wet from a shower. He was in another T-shirt and jeans, nursing a beer, and surprisingly, a cigarette.
The sun was setting. A beautiful burning orange with a subtle pink ombré. The late November evening made the scene peaceful.
I came and sat on the step beside him. Not knowing what to say as my mother pulled out of the driveway, waved, and drove off. It wasn’t my place. But I felt damn protective of her and I couldn’t not say anything.
“So, I guess it’s my turn, huh?” Scott joked as he downed his beer, a bitterness to his tone.
He was staring ahead across the street at nothing, and I followed his gaze.
“I like you, Scott, but she’s my mom.” I looked up at him, finding his jaw clenched. “I can’t imagine what pain she felt when you left the first time. If you’re not willing to be in it and stay with her and be the man she needs, then leave her alone.”
Scott hung his head and ran a hand through his dark locks. “Eighteen years. I haven’t really looked at or dated a woman in eighteen years. My friends think I’m crazy, but I just never thought it would ever feel like it did with Maddie. That any woman would ever be like your mom.”
He looked at me, pinning me in place with his serious expression. “If she gives me a chance, Saylor, I swear to God I will do everything in my power to not fuck it up.”
It was a confession, one that left me stunned. “So, the whole single thing?”
Scott shrugged. “Truth is, I haven’t felt a connection in a long time. The last connection I felt gave me you.”
“Poetic,” I snorted, unable to shake the sincerity in his voice. He’d been carrying a torch for my mother for years. Enough so he kept himself alone and single.
“I don’t deserve her, though,” he added lowly.
I couldn’t disagree. Not after what happened between them.
“Do you hate me for her?” There was a vulnerability to his gaze I hadn’t seen before. And what looked like fear.
Tears welled in my eyes at the sudden reality of how much the scenario touched me. The mere idea. At how I…wanted it.
“No,” I admitted quietly. “You’re so fucking perfect for her.”
After spending time with Scott, I could see how my mother could fall for him. He was good-looking, kind, patient, and down to earth.
There was no getting over their brutal past, but maybe, just maybe, there was a way to move forward.
I wanted my mother happy and safe, most of all, but I couldn’t hate Scott for her. Couldn’t deny how he was everything she’d want in a man and how much sense they made. I couldn’t be angry anymore over what happened.
The thing about holding on is that sometimes it’s best to let go when your grip starts to bleed.
Scott scooted closer to me. He wrapped an arm around me and hugged me. Something deep in my chest melted and softened.
“I so deserve one of those,” I said of his cigarette.
Scott laughed, going and stubbing it out on the step. “Turn eighteen first, kid.”
I narrowed my eyes. “April—”
“Twenty-second,” Scott finished for me. “I know. Ten days after mine.”
April twelfth. My father was born April twelfth.
This little fact made me feel close to him.
“Wanna tell me why you weren’t in school?” Scott brought up next.
Right, I wasn’t even supposed to walk in on my parents because I should’ve been in school.
“Dreux wanted to cut and go swimming for his birthday,” I explained.
“You two just friends, or is there more going on?” Scott seemed genuinely curious as he faced me.
At some point I needed to talk to Dreux, but there was no denying I wanted more of him. “Would you be upset if I said we were more than friends?”
Scott made a face, nudging me in the side. “You kidding? Dreux’s the only one around here allowed to date you.”
I couldn’t fight my smile. At least Scott approved.
A car came down the street and pulled in next door. The windows were down on the BMW and I could see Angela in the passenger seat and Dreux in the back. They stepped out of the car and René was leaning over the passenger seat to say something to Angela.
Beside me Scott looked on. “Be careful. He’s a good kid, and so are you. Just be smart.”