Chapter Eleven
GOOD OL’ MAN
The creaking of the door causes me to stir. Lifting up on my elbows, I see Nash standing in our doorway, clinging to his blanket and looking half asleep. “What’s wrong, buddy?”
I guess he was waiting for one of us to acknowledge him because as soon as he hears my voice, he darts around the foot of the bed, climbs across my chest, and is out before his head even hits the pillow.
I am seriously considering asking Doc if the kid has narcolepsy.
The boy literally drops wherever he’s at and falls asleep.
At the dinner table, on the couch, or on the floor playing with his toys.
Birdie says it’s because he plays so hard during the day, but I’m not convinced.
Still half asleep, I reach across Nash for Sierra and find nothing but cold sheets. Now that I’m more alert, I’m not sure if the sound I heard was Nash coming in here or Sierra leaving.
Turning my head toward the bathroom, I see there’s light peeking out from under the door.
Listening closely, I hear her getting sick.
Looking over at the clock, I see it’s 5:00 in the morning.
This has been going on like clockwork for over a week now, and I’ve had enough.
I don’t care what she says. This isn’t a stomach bug.
As quietly as I can, I climb out of bed and go into the bathroom.
Just like every morning this week, Sierra is on the floor hugging the toilet.
Grabbing a washcloth from the closet, I wet it under the faucet with cool water and squat down beside her.
I try not to jostle her as I smooth her hair away from her face and lay the rag on the back of her neck.
“You okay, baby?” I’m almost positive she’s pregnant, but I haven’t wanted to say anything.
She told me she was on birth control the first time we made love and that she was almost due for another round.
I don’t think she ever got it, and I have a feeling she forgot all about it too.
I’m afraid to ask and rock the boat that we’ve been blissfully floating in.
I’d give anything for her to be carrying my baby inside her, but since we never finished our conversation about children, I don’t know how she would feel about that.
When Connie mentioned it a month ago, Birdie seemed spooked at the notion.
“I’m sorry.” Birdie’s raspy voice breaks my train of thought.
“Why are you sorry, baby?”
“For waking you up.”
“Naw, it ain’t a thing, darlin’. I’m worried about you, though. This isn’t a stomach bug, Sierra. We need to go see Doc after we drop Nash off later. Okay?”
“Okay.” She sniffles.
“You ready to go back to bed?” When she nods her head, I bend and scoop her up into my arms. She buries her face in the curve of my shoulder while looping her arms around my neck.
When I step back into our room, I chuckle.
Nash has managed to wiggle himself into Birdie’s spot and is sprawled out like a starfish.
Looking up and seeing him, she smiles lovingly down at her boy.
“When’d he come in here?”
“A few minutes ago.” Sitting on the edge of the bed, I lay back with Birdie on top of me. “Go back to sleep, baby.”
Just like Nash, she’s sound asleep in seconds.
“Have a good day, buddy.”
“Bye, Daddy!” Nash tosses over his shoulder as he runs off to play with his friends.
It’s the first time he’s called me that, and I feel like a feather could knock me over.
As I stand here savoring the gift he’s given me, it hits me that he’s my son.
I’m the only dad he’s ever known. It’s up to me to teach him to be a good man and all the things a boy learns from his father. A sense of pride sweeps over me.
My son.
In a daze, I head for the truck where Birdie’s waiting.
“What’s wrong?” Birdie asks as I start the truck.
“Nash called me Daddy.” Looking over my shoulder, I check for oncoming cars and pull out when the lane is clear.
“Are you okay with that?” she asks, unsure.
“Hell yes. I love him, and I’m honored he thinks of me as his dad,” I admit. Grabbing her hand, I kiss her knuckles. She has no idea how much she’s given me since she agreed to be my woman.
I pull into the clinic parking lot and quickly move around the hood to help her out.
Hand in hand, we make our way inside. We’re extremely proud of this place.
It helps a lot of families in the area, and since it’s funded by the club, we’re allowed some accommodations.
With my hand on her back, I escort her to the counter and wait as she signs in.
“The Saints own this clinic?”
“Not exactly. We’re silent partners.” It doesn’t turn a profit. Most of the time, it barely breaks even, but it’s a necessary evil when we find ourselves in a pinch.
“Why?”
“Certain types of injuries are supposed to be reported to the authorities. In our line of work, that’s a quick way to end up in Club Fed. So, we fund this place, and in return, the staff turns a blind eye when we need them to. It’s a win-win for everyone.”
“That makes sense.”
“Sparrow. Sierra. Come back this way.” Sierra smiles when she sees Doc.
“What can I do for you guys today?” he asks as I help Birdie onto the exam table.
“I’ve been sick for a couple of weeks. I thought it was a stomach bug, but now, I think it might be something else.”
“I see. Tell me about your symptoms.” He jots down notes while she explains what’s been going on.
“Let’s get a urine sample and some blood work, Lucy,” he says to the woman giving him fuck me eyes. I’m thinking nurse Lucy might have a little crush on Doc.
“Yes, Sir.” She purrs, making me roll my eyes.
“What was that about?” I ask after she leaves the room.
“What was what about?” he evades.
“You and Nurse Lucy,” I tease, not letting it go. He never mentioned that he was dating one of the young girls that worked for him.
“Fuck,” he sighs. “The kid has a crush. I’m ignoring it, and I’d appreciate it if you didn’t bring attention to it either. That girl is fucking relentless.”
“You like to give us women a hard time, but you boys gossip just as much,” Birdie sasses. When I turn my attention to her, she has her arm behind her head and her eyes closed. There’s a glow about her today.
“How long until we’ll know something?” I ask Doc.
She’s pregnant. Down to my bones, I know it. Just as Doc opens his mouth to answer, the nurse opens the door and drags in a cart stocked with medical supplies.
“Sierra, there’s a bathroom across the hall. Just leave your sample on the shelf when you’re done, and a nurse will grab it once you come out.”
I stand to follow her just as she says, “Thanks, Doc. I’ll be right back, babe.” I guess she doesn’t want me watching her piss. As much as I hate letting her out of my sight, I grab her hand and help her to her feet, watching as she leaves the room.
“I think she’s pregnant,” I tell Doc once the door closes behind her.
“I was thinking the same thing, but let’s not jump to conclusions. Let’s get these results, and we can go from there. You going to be okay if she is?”
“Fuck yes! Sorry,” I tell the nurse sheepishly, “but fuck yes, I’ll be okay with that. I’d marry her tomorrow if I didn’t think it would freak her the fuck out.”
“I’m glad to hear that. She seems like a sweet girl. You two are good for each other, VP. You both deserve some happiness in your lives.”
“Thanks, Doc.” I know everyone was worried when I was spiraling out of control. But since Birdie has come into my life, I’ve had something positive to focus on.
“Lucy, Grab Ms. Ramirez on her way out of the ladies’ room and draw a blood sample, please. Sparrow, I’ll be back when we have the results to share with you.”
“Of course, Dr. Hampton.” The woman has one hell of a lady boner. If Doc’s not interested, she’s wasting her time.
“Thanks again, Doc,” I say, shaking his hand.
As soon as Birdie comes back into the room, I pull her into my lap, needing to have her close. The dark circles under her eyes show just how bad she’s feeling. She hasn’t been sleeping well, she can’t keep a lot down when she eats, and every morning she gets sick. She’s exhausted.
She’s also been going non-stop without complaint.
She gets up, takes Nash to daycare, goes with me to the gym, and then to work.
She helps out around the clubhouse while also keeping our house running like a well-oiled machine.
I don’t know how she does it all. I feel like an asshole for not noticing sooner how much she’s been doing and not helping out more.
A knock on the door brings me out of my thoughts as Doc enters.
“Okay, guys, let’s look at these lab results,” he says, opening Birdie’s chart on the computer.
“Well, Ms. Sierra. Your hCG levels are extremely elevated.” My heart sinks. I hadn’t realized how much I wanted her to have our baby until the possibility of there already being one in her belly was squashed. Fuck, I can’t be selfish right now. I need to focus; my Birdie is sick.
“I’ll write a prescription for nausea. Ginger is a good natural option but try to avoid excess sugar as much as possible. Lucy has gone to get an ultrasound machine so we can take a look.”
“Wait. What are we looking at?”
“If we’re lucky. We’re going to look at your baby.”
A baby. We’re going to look at my baby. “FUCK YES!” I don’t know what the hell hCG is, but it must mean baby.
“Baby. We’re having a baby, Birdie.” Tilting my head, I lean in and ravish her mouth. She tastes like mine.
Leaning back so I can see the woman who’s giving me everything, I know without a doubt that I love her.
Sierra reaches up and wipes the tears from my eyes as I wipe at hers.
I’ve known for months that she’s it for me.
But now, with this . . . a child we created. It’s everything I’ve ever dreamed of.
“I’m so happy!” Birdie sobs.
“I’m so happy too, baby. Damn, just when I think you’ve given me the world, you give me even more,” I confess, resting my forehead against hers and savoring the happiness in her eyes.
A minute later, Lucy comes through the door dragging another cart. This one is a lot different from the first one. When Doc nods to the exam table, I stand with Birdie in my arms and gently place her in the middle. Gripping her hand, I help her lay back and move to stand closer beside her.
When she lifts her shirt to just below her tits, I’m not so sure about doing this anymore. I admit that I’m a possessive bastard, but Birdie is mine. I’m uncomfortable with Doc seeing her body until he places the jelly-covered wand on her belly, and the room fills with a whooshing sound.
“What is that?” I ask.
“That . . . is your baby’s heartbeat, and it’s good and strong.” Leaning down, I kiss Birdie’s lips as she cries.
“That’s interesting,” Doc mumbles to himself.
“What’s wrong?” I demand, unable to read the look on Doc’s face.
“Well, nothing. It’s just that. See these? See how it looks like there’s two of them?”
“Yeah?”
“This is baby A, and this is baby B.”
“What?” Birdie asks, trying to sit up.
“You’re having twins. They appear to be in the same sac, which would make them identical.
Once you get in to see your OB, they’ll verify all of this.
Kierra sees Dr. Sloan, and she and Viper really seemed to like him when he delivered Xavier.
” Doc moves the wand around, noting different parts of our babies.
Babies. I can’t believe we’re going to have babies.
Plural. Two of them.
“Based on there being two of them and how they’re measuring. I believe you’re about ten weeks along.”
The reality of there being two babies finally takes root. The responsibility of keeping Birdie and our kids safe feels heavier with the man that hurt her still out there. Dex needs to work faster.
What if . . . no! I can’t go down this road of what if.
My chest starts to feel tight, and there’s not enough air in the room.
Shit. I fan my shirt as sweat slides down my brow.
My heart is beating erratically like it’s about to leap out of my chest. It’s pounding so hard it’s starting to hurt.
Pressing my hand to my chest, I wonder if I’m having a fucking heart attack?
I leap to my feet, sending my chair sailing into the wall as I heave for breath.
“Braxton?” When I look at Birdie, I start to feel lightheaded. Doubling over, I grip my head as Tempy and the child she was carrying flash through my mind. What if I can’t keep Birdie safe? What if someone comes after her and our kids?
“Braxton, you’re scaring me,” Birdie says, reaching for my hand. I shake her off. I can’t do this.
Like a coward, I turn on my heel and run. I make it as far as the employee parking lot before I have to stop and catch my breath. With my hands on my knees, I struggle to regain control.
“What the hell is happening to me?”
“Sparrow. You’re having a panic attack. Take long, deep breaths into this bag and try to slow it down.” Blindly, I grab the paper bag and do as Doc says.
“How . . . How am I supposed to keep them safe when I don’t know who the enemy is?” I wheeze.
“You lean on your brothers for help, Sparrow. Now, you need to get back in there with your woman, brother.” Shit! I take a few deep breaths to clear my head and thank the Gods when I finally catch my breath.
“Thanks, Doc,” I say over my shoulder as I jog back into the building. My heart drops when I find her curled in on herself. Fuck! I did this to her.
“Baby. Shh, shh, shh. I’m so fucking sorry. Please don’t cry,” I beg, scooping her into my arms. She tries to pull away, but I just squeeze her tighter. “I know I fucked up, Birdie, but I can’t let you go. I won’t. Your place is with me.”
“You left me!” she cries, smacking my chest. The crack in her voice as she sobs harder is killing me.
“I didn’t. I’m right here. I just needed a second to get my head right. But I promise, baby, I’ll never leave you behind again.”
Securing her hands in one of mine, I promise, “I’ll never walk out on you again.
I just freaked out for a second.” I really fucked up this time, but I’m going to make it up to her.
I hate the look I put on her face. She’s doubting me, and I don’t have anyone to blame for it but myself.
I kiss the top of her head when she stops trying to pull away from me.
“Tell me why you freaked out,” she demands.
“I’m afraid I won’t be able to keep you safe, baby. You or our kids. Not to mention I don’t know the first thing about being a father.”
“I’m safe. You keep me safe. And, babe, you may not realize it, but you’re already an amazing daddy to Nash.”
“Fuck. What am I going to do with you?”
“You can start by taking me to breakfast.” She sniffles.
“You got it, baby.” I’ll give her anything if it will helps fix what I fucked up.