Chapter 14
SOFIA
Capo Horn – Bresh, Tedua
“You know the goal of surfing is actually surfing?” Ilias paddled out next to her, arching an eyebrow.
Sofia sat on her board just beyond the line-up, gaze fixed on the horizon, calm and distant. Her favorite place to decompress.
“Just one moment.” She closed her eyes, inhaling the salty air, letting the lull of waves soothe her. Then, she opened her eyes and turned to him. “Do you know what the Blue Mind is?”
Ilias studied her face, squinting his eyes slightly. “I’ve heard something about it... but go on. Explain it to me.”
He paddled closer with that effortless grace only surfers had.
He reached out and grabbed her leash, the board shifting slightly toward him.
As she looked up towards him, Ilias was wrapped in his black wetsuit that hugged every single muscle of his body.
Talking about her research was probably the only way she could stop thinking about the way that wetsuit fitted him perfectly.
“Blue Mind is a term coined by a marine biologist,” she began, “to describe the calm state many people experience when they’re near, in, on, or under water. It refers to the positive neurological and psychological effects of water on the human brain.”
“I haven’t read about it,” he started, “but I’ll vouch for it. Every time I have a problem, I just sit and stare at the ocean. It quiets everything. Don’t you think?”
“I do.” Her gaze was lost in the ocean, again.
Talking about marine biology with someone not in the field was somehow refreshing. There was no posturing, no need to defend her credentials, no subtle undermining. Just curiosity. Just space to breathe.
Ilias reached out, gently placing his thumb and index finger beneath her chin, coaxing her to face him. The warmth of his skin against hers, even through the ocean chill, sent an almost electric pulse up her spine.
His hazel eyes were searching. Focused.
“What’s bothering you?” he asked quietly.
There was too much to say. Too much she wasn’t ready to unload. Salacia seemed stable, for now, but the list of worries was never short: her father’s declining health, her floundering academic credibility, the stain of what had happened with Thomas. She was drowning in shame, still.
“Comments on Instagram,” she slightly lied, voice low. “Some of them get to me. I haven’t published a paper in years… and the marine biology community has opinions. About me. About whether I’m still a scientist or just a pretty face with followers.”
He let go of her chin slowly, fingertips trailing away like he wasn’t quite ready to lose the contact.
“Is their opinion important?” he asked.
“In theory, no. But… It's true. I haven’t published anything, and maybe I should be doing more than just taking pretty pictures with my new boyfriend.”
That word again. Boyfriend. Even fake, it tasted strange on her tongue.
“I don’t see anything wrong with enjoying life with a very handsome dude.” He grinned. “Didn’t Jo?o mention you were working on a new study? Why not use that? What’s it about?”
She blinked at him.
Wait. He’d remembered that from a fleeting comment? It caught her completely off guard. Thomas never remembered the things that mattered unless they were his. But Ilias… he listened.
“I’m still working on it. It’s raw. Very simple.
I’m at the starting point, gathering data and trying to see if it’s something worth studying.
” She sighed. “You know, I might be a little biased because I used to work in labs on technical stuff. That’s basically the only research I know how to do.
This is different. This is more field research.
It came to me recently and I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it. ”
She paused, searching his face as the sunlight began its slow descent behind the water, casting a golden glaze across his cheekbones.
“Are you sure you want to hear about it? It’s boring.”
“I don’t think anything you have to say is boring, habiba.”
Her lips parted slightly. He sounded so sincere. To her, that was the most shocking part.
“What?” he asked, tilting his head.
“You surprise me. I’m not used to it.”
“Used to what?”
“Guys caring.”
A slow shake of his head. “You’ve had some real shit exes, huh?”
“You have no idea,” she muttered, almost laughing.
“I’ll gladly demonstrate to you how a guy should treat a woman he’s interested in. Faking it, of course,” he added, with a glint of mischief in his eye.
She rolled hers, but her heart twisted a little too hard.
“My dad was recently diagnosed with colon cancer,” she said, turning her face towards the horizon. “And I started looking into ways to help ease the chemotherapy effects, or at least, help him feel better. As a scientist, my first instinct was research.”
Her voice faltered. Ilias didn’t interrupt.
“I found a couple of studies about the Blue Mind effect on cancer patients. I sent them to him. He lives in Genova, by the sea. The Mediterranean is part of his soul.” She finally looked at him, and his eyes were locked on hers.
Still, he didn’t speak. Just… listened.
“The research was weak, inconclusive. A lot was based on feeling, instead of data. So, I decided to make it my own. Then I found a study suggesting that whale songs can help reduce stress and pain perception. So now… I’m working on a small, self-funded study exploring the healing effects of whale song and ocean acoustics on cancer patients.
I’m using my dad and his group during chemo.
My mom’s helping monitor things. She sends me the data.
And I needed the money from Salacia to fund the entire study, to buy new microphones to record whales’ songs underwater. ”
She was sure he’d say something teasing. Light. Pivot away from the heaviness. Instead, again, Ilias Ríos El Idrissi surprised her by asking her the most normal, yet difficult question to answer.
“How are you?”
She blinked. “What?”
“About your dad. How are you?”
His hand moved to her leg covered by the wetsuit, stroking gently. Just a gesture. But her body flared under it like he’d touched her bare skin.
“Terrible,” she whispered. “I should be there, but I’m not. I feel selfish.”
“Why don’t you go then?”
“Because it’s easier to pretend he’s okay from here than see him.
.. like that. Crumbling. He has always been my anchor, but now he needs someone to anchor him.
And I don’t feel like I’m the right fit.
I just feel adrift, constantly trying not to drown.
This research is the only thing I can do. So, I focus on that.”
He reached over the board and pulled her into him, an arm curling around her shoulders. His chest was firm beneath her cheek, the steady rhythm of his breath grounding. It didn’t matter that the boards slightly wobbled on the calm ocean. She needed his steadiness.
“I’ll give you a proper hug once we’re on land,” he murmured into her hair.
She melted, just for a moment.
“Thanks,” she whispered into his chest.
“Anytime you need to talk about it, I’m here.”
She pushed back slightly to see his face. “Why?”
“Because it helps. Talking about it. Not bottling it up.”
Then that smile returned, crooked, effortless, infuriatingly charming, boyish. “Come on. Let’s head back. It’s getting dark.”
Sofia nodded, paddling after him toward the line-up. Her chest felt lighter. Her pulse steadier. Whether it was the Blue Mind effect or the Ilias effect, she wasn’t sure. And maybe she didn’t want to know the difference. Not yet.