Chapter 31
Emmy
“You know, I could always ‘accidentally’ drop a few lit matches on the way out,” Chloe says, hefting another box into the boot of her car. For the second time within weeks, we’re packing up the scraps of my old life and carting them away to my new one.
“Or we could sew raw prawns into the curtain linings, like that guy did. Send them mad trying to work out where the smell is coming from,” she suggests, giving me an evil grin.
“I’m pretty sure that’s an urban legend,” I say. “Still tempting though.”
She disappears back into the house and returns with a small shoebox of photographs from my childhood.
We don’t have a great deal of them – my teenage years were mainly caught on digital camera – but the photos of my parents from their own youth and my earliest years are hugely precious.
I can’t believe I didn’t get them the first time round.
“That’s the last one.” Chloe sets the shoebox gently in my hands and smiles. I clutch it tight, staring up at the house that’s been my home for most of my adult life.
“This chapter’s really over, then.” I blow out a breath.
Chloe puts an arm around my shoulder, and I lean into her warmth.
“A better one has begun,” she says, squeezing me.
I carefully place the shoebox in the footwell of Chloe’s car before I pull the door shut on my old home.
The thought of Colin and Stacey building their shiny new life here guts me.
My side of the bed isn’t even cold, and the idea of them raising a baby in the house we bought with having our own family in mind… It stings like hell.
Chloe climbs into the driver’s seat and we set off for Bermondsey.
“How you feeling, babe?” she asks, glancing over at me as we pull out onto the main road.
“Not great,” I sigh. “I feel like I’ve been coping so well with being single and starting over, but that was when I thought he was having a fling.
Now I know it was going on for months behind my back and they’re having a baby together, I just feel like a fucking idiot.
Thank God we didn’t have kids, but why is he suddenly ready for one with his 23-year-old colleague when he was never ready with me?
” My voice cracks and I grit my teeth, swallowing the lump in my throat.
“He wasn’t worthy of you,” Chloe says, frowning at the road. “And this is a shitty move. Especially moving Stacey into your home like that. It’s ok to be upset, darling. I’d be raging if I were you.”
“Thanks, Chlo. I feel like I just need the weekend to mope about it and then I’ve got to put my big girl pants on. I refuse to let Colin and Stacey wreck my brilliant new life. Speaking of which, I had a full breakdown on Luke last night.” I grimace, remembering the extent of my hysteria.
“Oh love. What happened?”
“After Colin told me his news, I basically went straight to Salt and asked Luke to, er, distract me.”
Chloe arches a brow and smiles at me. “And?”
“Well, he certainly took my mind off Colin, put it that way. He blindfolded me, tied me up, edged me, then gave me two of the best orgasms of my life.”
“Oh my lord, good work Luke.”
“Then, he took the blindfold off and all of the emotions I’d pushed down erupted like a tidal wave.
Full weeping, wailing, sobbing. Poor man.
He was really good though, ideal in a crisis.
He just kept soothing me and rocking me, like a child.
I felt so much better until the mortification set in and I scarpered. ”
“Oh babe,” she replies, patting my leg.
“Not my finest moment. I was going for devastatingly sexy, independent fuck-buddy energy… and instead I served up full meltdown.”
We reach a red light and Chloe turns to look at me.
“It was never going to be a simple fuck buddy thing though, was it?” she says.
“What do you mean?”
“I mean, he’s known you since you were literally a teenager.
He was there when you went through hell losing your parents.
He was Nick’s only real friend when we were growing up.
He knows you. He cares about you. Even if it’s just sex, there’s always going to be more there than just a fuck buddy thing. ”
I mull over her words as she pulls away again.
“Yes, I suppose so. But he’s always been so distant. Like, he’s been around but I’ve never really known him, you know? For instance, we didn’t know that he was a secret sex god with a club dedicated to kink and shagging until mere weeks ago.”
She snorts a laugh.
“True, he’s always been a bit of a closed book. But that doesn’t mean he hasn’t been watching you. You’re a heart-on-her-sleeve girl and I love that about you. You’re easy to love, even by someone who you’d never suspect of loving you.”
I wrinkle my nose.
“Luke’s amazing but he doesn’t do relationships. He’s doing me a favour because I basically brow beat him into taking pity on me and showing me his kinky little kingdom.”
“I wouldn’t be so sure,” Chloe replies. “He wouldn’t be doing this with you if he didn’t want to. Something tells me Luke rarely does anything without purpose and intention.”
I mull over her words. When I lost my shit, he was so calm. I hadn’t cried like that in years and he didn’t even flinch. And that was worth more than any insane orgasm.
Could Luke Pullman actually feel something more than lust for me? And if he does… What the hell am I supposed to do about it?