31. Everett
Chapter 31
Everett
I t only took five minutes after my driver pulled away from the park for me to fully embrace the error I had made in walking away. I thought I was making the right decision. I thought the pain I felt every time I put one foot in front of the other, leaving her behind, was my own selfish heart battling what it wanted versus what was best. Even my brother's words as I left the parking lot weren't enough for my stubborn ass to move. My mind still hadn't caught up with my heart. That didn't happen until I was driving over the Mississippi to a destination unknown. When I left the gala, it was to go home, but as the miles that separated us grew, so did my fault. There was no home for me to go to if she was not there. She is my home.
Once my mind was made up and I was going back for my girl, I couldn't turn around quick enough. The nearest exit to turn around once you cross over the river into Illinois is five miles, and in the time it took us to change course, the storm that had been brewing was in full force. Rain was pelting the car in sheets, and the driver had no choice but to pull over, unable to see the road in front of him. Now I'm stuck hopelessly on the side of the highway, refreshing my phone every five seconds thinking maybe this time it will load the weather radar so I can see when the eye of the storm will be past us.
"Fucking useless." I pound my fist into the leather seat beside me as I throw my head back against the seat rest. The service right now is shit. My phone won't load past twenty percent. It's why I'm surprised when it vibrates in my hand. Holding my phone up, I see it's a call from an unknown number with a St. Louis area code.
"Everett Callahan," I answer hastily, hoping the call doesn't drop.
"Mr. Callahan, this is Renee at Barnes Jewish. We have you down as the emergency contact for Cameron Salt. There's been an accident, and…" There's silence. I pull the phone away from my ear and see the call says it's still connected.
"Hello. Can you hear me?" I demand as I rake my hand through my hair and my stomach churns. I lean forward and grip the seat back in front of me. "Start driving," I say to my chauffeur.
"She's resting now," comes through as her words trail off again.
"You've got to be fucking kidding me," I mutter to myself. "Can you hear me?" I yell loudly into the phone as if that will strengthen the connection.
"We didn't know about the baby before she was sedated and…"
"The baby! What baby?" I screech before I throw open the back door, giving zero fucks about getting drenched as I walk to the driver's side door, pull it open, and say, "Get out. I'm fucking driving."
The driver's eyes widen. "This is my car."
"Do I look like I give a fuck? Get out," I grind out forcefully.
My hand darts out to pull him out, done with wasting any more seconds when he throws his hands up. "Okay, okay, I'll get in the back."
He climbs out, and I cut the call. I have the name of the hospital. I'll figure out the rest. Going to my contacts, I pull up Connor's number. He was there, maybe he's with her. The call takes forever to connect, and once it finally does, it goes straight to voicemail. "Damn it."
Why the fuck did I leave? How could I be so dumb? I'll never forgive myself if something happens to her or the baby. Baby... I clench my jaw. How is that even possible? She told me she had an IUD. As I pull onto the highway, the rain still hasn't let up. It's nearly zero visibility. I go slow because it's the only option, but slow is better than not at all. There's no way in hell I'm going to sit stranded on the side of the highway knowing my girl is in the hospital with a broken heart, one that's in pieces because of me, while carrying our baby nonetheless. Our baby.
I let that sink in as I try to decipher how it happened. Did she lie to me about having an IUD? It's possible. I know Cameron had a crush on me for years, but what she didn't realize was that the feelings weren't completely one-sided. She could have lied in hopes of trapping me. It's a fucked-up thought, but maybe the better one is, do I care? Did I see myself having more kids this late in life? No, but I want everything with her, including the baby. Her words from dinner echo through my mind, "How could I not want something that's a piece of me and the person I love?"
"Fuck." I need to get to the hospital. I hit my hand on the steering wheel, pissed that I put myself in this position to begin with. If I hadn't left, I wouldn't have been in this position. There's no way she would have gotten hurt. I would have sacrificed myself a hundred times over to ensure it.
An hour later, I'm finally pulling up outside the emergency room. I exit the car without a parting word, unworried about settling up. He has my information, and whatever he saw on my face when I insisted on driving kept him silent the entire way here. I rush to the reception desk.
"Excuse me," I try to grab the brunette's attention.
"I'll be with you in a moment, sir. There's a line in front of you."
That's when I look around and notice the full lobby and nurses walking around with boards assessing injuries and assigning numbers. "I'm here to see a patient that's already been checked in. I'm not here for an injury."
She holds up her hand and answers a call on her hospital phone. Fuck this. I can't stand here and wait. I've been doing that for the past hour, and I'm seconds away from causing a scene of my own. That's when a nurse swiping her card to go back to the rooms catches my eye. I make a quick decision to slip in behind her.
"Sir, you can't go back there," I hear one of the nurses behind the desk call out, but it's too late. The door closes, and I take off down the hall without knowing where I'm going.
A doctor stops me when he sees what's going on. "Hey, you have to be checked in."
"I know, but I need to get to my girl, and it's packed out there."
He nods. "Who are you looking for?"
"Cameron Salt, she was brought in earlier."
He pulls his phone out of his pocket and calls someone using the speakerphone. "Sara, can you tell me what room Cameron Salt is in?" His eyes slowly trail up and down my disgraceful appearance. My suit is wet, and I'm sure my face is marred with stress, but I couldn't care less, especially when I believe it's his pity that's earning me his cooperation now.
"Dr. Montgomery, Ms. Salt has been moved to the fifth floor. She's in room 510."
"Dr. Montgomery… Are you Aria's brother?"
His eyes narrow on mine. "Everett Callahan?"
"Yeah," I answer. I've only met him once, and that was years ago at Holden and Aria's wedding reception.
"There's an elevator at the end of this corridor. Take it up to the fifth floor. When you get off, go right. Her room will be about halfway down the hallway. I'll have a nurse bring you a visitor's pass."
"Thanks," I say, grasping his shoulder before jogging toward the elevators.
When I finally get off the elevator and reach her door, I take a second to compose myself. I have no idea what I'm walking into, and the last thing I need to do is run in panicked and make things worse. I blow out a breath and turn the knob. The steady sound of an EKG machine beeping greets me as I pull back the curtain and see her lying in bed. My fists clench at my sides as my heart pounds heavily in my chest. If she doesn't hate me when she wakes, I'll hate me enough for the both of us. I approach the bed cautiously as though moving wrong could break her. She looks peaceful as she is, and I want her to have that. I don't want her to feel any pain, and waking will undoubtedly cause it. If not physically, then emotionally. I fucked up. My hand gently pushes a few strands of her auburn locks off her face before I let my knuckles drag with a feather-like weight down her side until I reach her delicate hand.
"I'm so sorry, sunshine," I say as I gently lace my fingers through the tops of hers. Why is it that we hurt the people we care about most? Some will say it's because we care too much, that the relationship is worth fighting for, and others will tell you it's because hurt people, hurt people, but I think it's both. I've been hurting for so long. Living with guilt and grief has left me bleeding out on the people I care about, and now I'm paying the ultimate price for it.
My free hand instinctively reaches for her stomach, and my thumb gently strokes over it. "I told you I'd mess up. I warned you that I didn't know what I was doing when it came to love. I just didn't know I'd fuck it up before I got the chance to live it with you." I drop my head to the bed and pray to a God I haven't spoken to in far too long, hoping he answers. "God, if you give me this, I won't mess it up. I'll be whatever she needs me to be. You created her for a purpose, and I think it was to save me." Her fingers twitch, and I instantly raise my head to look at her. Her eyelids flutter like she's trying to open them, but they remain shut. "Wake up, Cameron. Wake up so I can spend the rest of my life making up for this moment." Her hand squeezes mine, and I know she can hear me. "I love you, sunshine. I'm not going anywhere. I swear it…" I trail off, not wanting to push her if she's not ready. I watch as the fluttering behind her eyelids subsides, and I pull up a chair before reclaiming her hand. I'm just settling into my new position when my phone pings. I reach into my coat and pull it out.
Garrett: Where are you?
I'm not texting. Not on this. I immediately hit call.
"Everett, where are you? You need to get to the hospital."
"I'm here. What the hell happened? Are you okay?"
"I'm good. That's why I stayed back. Everything was fine. It was just supposed to be rain, and the tent was event-grade. It had fucking steal-beams. There would have been no issue handling rain. Tornadoes are another story." St. Louis is in tornado alley, and summer storms can turn ugly quick. "Moira had just announced the need to evacuate to the main building when the sirens went off, and a huge gust of wind took out the right side of the tent. I ducked behind the bar with a few other guests. Ten people were taken to the hospital, including Cameron, Moira, Kipp, and Mackenzie."
"Christ!" I pinch the bridge of my nose. I need to find my son.
"I'm covering our asses and documenting everything, making sure none of this comes back on us."
"Moira hired an event planning team. I'll send the contracts over. I was copied on them."
"Ev," Cameron's voice is small and groggy.
"I'll call you back. Cameron's waking up," I say as I cut the call.
"I'm here, baby." I bring her fingers to my lips and kiss each one. "Are you in pain? Do you need me to get a doctor?"
"My head hurts," she groans as she turns her head slightly toward me. "And my neck is stiff."
"I'll see if we can get you some medicine."
Her hand squeezes mine before I can move. "Don't go… please."
"Cameron, I swear to God I'm not going to leave you. Let me make it better. I'm just going to get you some medicine." The thought of medicine and the fact that maybe she's in pain because they can't give her any more has me closing my eyes. Her free hand slowly starts to move across the bed. "What do you need? Let me get it."
"The remote thingy. We can press the call button for a nurse."
I reach across the bed, careful not to put weight on her body, and press the button. "I'm so sorry, Cameron. I never should have left. I already plan on spending the rest of my life making it up to you, but…" I draw off my hand, finding her stomach.
"You called," a nurse interrupts, walking into the room.
"Yes, she just woke up and said her head hurts and her neck is stiff."
The nurse swipes her badge and pulls open her notes on the computer. "That's typical from the injuries she sustained."
As she clicks through a few different screens, Cameron asks, "Can I take something to help manage the pain?"
"Isn't Tylenol an acceptable pain medication for women expecting?" I ask, ensuring there's no further fuckups. I'll sue for negligence if there are.
"Everett—"
"I know about the baby, Cameron. I'll never forgive myself if something happens because I wasn't there to protect you." My hand reaches for her stomach. "Both of you."
Her hand covers mine before she squeezes it, drawing my eyes to hers. "What baby? Who told you I was pregnant?"
"Our baby. When the doctor called, he said they didn't know you were pregnant before they sedated you and?—"
"She wasn't sedated," the nurse interjects, walking to the bed and checking her wristband. "Ms. Salt has a concussion. She's been out since she was brought in, but the fact that she knows who you are is a good sign."
Her eyes return to mine. "Everett, I'm not pregnant. I told you I have an IUD."
"I'm going to get you some Tylenol and let the doctor know you are awake."
I squeeze my eyes closed and try to piece together how I messed this up. When I received the call, the woman mentioned Cameron by name and said there had been an accident. That's when the connection got bad, and words were lost.
"You thought I was pregnant? Does that mean you thought I lied too?"
"Cameron, that's not important?—"
"It is important, Everett. I would never lie to you, especially about that."
"Sunshine, I didn't care if you did. That was the first thought that crossed my mind when I got the call." I run my hand through her hair. "I wanted the baby. I wanted to have that baby with you. You are the forever I don't deserve, the reason I lose sleep, and the reason my heart beats. Your light defeats my darkness, and I'll spend every day fixing what I've broken if you'll let me. You are my reason, Cameron Salt."
"I love you, Ev." I bend down, and my hands cradle her face as I press my forehead to hers, my lips skimming over the tops of hers when she adds, "No more hiding, Ev. If this is it and I'm what you want, I need you to trust me with all your pieces, even the sharp ones."
"Maybe I don't want to cut you?"
"And maybe I want the scar that trusting me with your heart leaves on mine." My lips skim over the tops of hers as a burst of emotions I've never felt tear through my heart. It's a kaleidoscope of bliss, a treasure from the divine. I press my mouth onto hers more firmly, scared to give her more. Her hand fists in my shirt, and she speaks against my lips. "Kiss me like I'm your forever, Everett. I won't break." Her tongue seeks entrance that I instantly grant. Her sweet mouth on mine makes me feel like magic is real; it sweeps me off my feet, and for the seconds I'm wrapped up in her, I'm high above the world in a place where only she and I exist. I release her mouth, knowing the nurse will be back with her meds, and if I keep kissing her like that, I won't be able to stop. I peck her lips softly as I pull away.
"You really thought I was pregnant?"
"I did. I might be a little disappointed knowing you're not." I pull away, a little nervous to say the words on the tip of my tongue, but she asked me to give her all my pieces, so I do. "What if I asked you to have that IUD removed while you're here?"
Her eyes search mine, and her face is impassive. "Everett, I hit my head hard, and I'm not sure I'm following what you're suggesting. Are you saying you want to have a baby with me?"
"Yes..." I let out on bated breath, unbelieving that I'm having this moment.
"I could go for an Everly."
"Everly?" My brow furrows, and she smiles.
"Yes, Everly. That's the name of the little girl you'll give me."
I smile bigger than I ever have. "I can't promise it will be a girl."
"Well, we'll have to keep trying until we get one."
"Oh, I can get behind the trying part." I bend down to reclaim her mouth once more.
Her smile matches my own as lips press against mine, but before I get a chance to take more, her hand is on my chest, pushing me back. "As much as I love talking about forever and babies, you're skipping ahead about ten steps. Someone once said he didn't want me falling pregnant out of wedlock on his watch?—"
"Cameron, I thought it went without saying, but since you need the words, I'll give them to you. I want you to be my wife, the mother of my children, the bearer of my soul."
"Good. Let's start with the promise you made to me a week ago when you asked for time. You told me then that you'd give me everything, and until you do that, we can't move forward. I need something real. I need more than just your dreams. I need the real reason you walked away from me tonight—the one that tears you up inside, the one that scares you."
Fuck, she would ask this of me now, but I suppose I knew it was coming, and she's right. It's the only way forward. I can't give her all of me if I'm still choosing to hide parts of me. Releasing her hand, I leave her side of the bed and walk toward the window.
"The last time I jumped in and saved a girl, I married her. If you ask Moira, she'll tell you it was the only option. I would have agreed back then, but now that I'm older, I know there's always more than one option. We just tend to choose the ones with the path of least resistance. I didn't want to stand in the way of you choosing a relationship with Lauren. I felt betrayed by my best friend. I've spent the past five years on a crusade to protect an oath I gave him upon his death, one I gave without knowledge of what I was protecting. The inferences Lauren was making were untenable…" I run my fingers through my beard, buying myself precious seconds where she is still mine. All my words about being her forever, keeping her, giving her babies, and making her my wife could be for nothing when I give her my next truth. "Damon was late to the gala the night of his accident because of me." I drop my head as my lungs deflate from the heaviness that keeping that detail to myself held. "I forgot the award to be given that night in my home office. I asked if he could pick it up since I was already at the event. It's my fault he was on the highway when that semi jackknifed. I'm the reason he's gone."
"I wish you would have told me sooner so that I could have loved you through the pain you're going through because it's my pain too." I turn to her. "Dad was still in town because I forgot my overnight bag at the house. I was supposed to leave the gala with Waverley's daughter that night to go camping for the weekend."
My chest tightens with her admission. I would have given her my truth years ago if I knew I could have spared her a second of carrying the burden of guilt I know she's had haunting her every day. I know because it's the same one that claws at the recesses of my mind daily, stealing moments of joy, reminding me that I'm here and he isn't.
"Cameron, it wasn't your fault," I say, reclaiming my spot beside her bed. "You have to know that."
Her eyes drop to where my fingers instinctively wrap around hers. "If it's not my fault, then it's not yours either. If you had asked me at the beginning of summer, I would have said accidents don't happen. They are caused, but I no longer see it that way. Maybe it's coldhearted, but now I think accidents happen for a reason. We don't always see the reason right away, but they're always there. I wouldn't have the things I have now if he were still here holding onto his secrets."
"Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know you were here. Am I interrupting? I can come back," Lauren says, popping around the curtain.
Lauren's intrusion reminds me there are other people here I need to see, even if I don't want to leave Cameron. As foreign as the thought feels, I'm glad she's here. I was so worried about getting to Cameron and making sure she was okay that I hadn't put too much thought into how she got here or that she was alone when I arrived, though I should have. Cameron wasn't alone when I left her. I don't doubt that Lauren is the reason she's here now.
"No, it's fine. You can stay," Cameron answers before her hand squeezes mine. "Is Moira here? That must have been who the nurse was referring to when they called. I bet she still has you listed as her emergency contact too. People don't think about that stuff when they're healthy."
That has to be what happened. For those few short seconds that felt like they stretched into eternity while the call went silent, the nurse must have started talking about Moira. As much as I don't want to leave Cameron, I must check in with her and Kipp to ensure everything is okay. We may be divorced, but I would never wish her harm. "I'll be back. I need to find Connor too. His phone went straight to voicemail when I tried to call him earlier, but Garrett said they were here."
"I just ran into them downstairs. Mackenzie was getting her ankle wrapped. She's okay. It's just a sprain," Lauren offers from the chair she claimed on the other side of the hospital bed.
Thank god for small miracles. Connor would be beside himself if something happened to Mackenzie. "Okay." I lean down and kiss Cameron's forehead. "I'll be back. I love you."
"I love you too, Ev," she says as I leave her side, and my heart fucking soars. She still loves me, and that's the beginning and the end of everything. As long as I have that, nothing else matters.