Chapter 23 #2
“What sorts of visions?” Velden asked.
“Little snippets of memories, or maybe future memories. I can’t remember them all, and they faded soon after I saw them.
But I remember seeing Durriken with his collar removed.
When we took it off, that vision came back to me as if confirming it had been prophetic.
It gave me peace that I was always meant to free him. ”
Sylmar’s face grew more somber. “What else did you see?” he asked.
She shook her head. “I remember so little. I saw Cyrus dead in the water, just like he was that night by Lovers’ Falls.
I saw a girl Arvid and Vera had killed back in Lorvandas.
I saw the sprites and the winex. I saw people I don’t know.
The visions have all become too blurry for me to recall unless they’re things that have already happened. ”
Sylmar’s eyes closed. “That could still be a symptom of your bloated magic at that time. It doesn’t necessarily mean anything.”
“Same for the things Durriken showed me?” she asked.
His brow furrowed, and his scars puckered.
“That could be his magic, like you suggested. Even if we retest you and you show an affinity for noetic skills, it could just be a result of your brand on him. Although the distance should be impacting it. The closer he is, the easier it would be to use his magic.”
She shivered. “Then I’ll remove it. Free him. If nothing else, it will help us know for sure if that was the cause for the change.”
Sylmar opened his eyes and studied her. “You could. But he may want the brand for his own protection now that Mayvus is back.”
Aeliana winced. She’d put off updating Durriken, but she couldn’t wait any longer.
“At this point,” Sylmar said, “I’m not sure we can test you again.
Not if your brand is interfering with your magic.
The tests were already going to be skewed toward constructive somatic skills because that’s what you’ve learned.
But if your true primary spoke lies on either side, we should be able to get a sense of that.
We may never know whether this new spoke or the constructive somatic spoke is your primary until you’ve trained more.
One will eventually outpace the other, and you may show affinity for skills on the opposite side of your primary spoke.
But until then, we’re likely going to be stuck training and developing both spokes equally. ”
Velden rolled his eyes. “I’m sure you’re terribly disappointed to have to do that.” Then he leaned toward Aeliana. “It’s like Winter Solstice for him, being told he can train someone along two spokes simultaneously. You’ve made his entire year.”
Aeliana tried to smile, knowing Velden was lightening the mood for her sake. It was something she always appreciated about him, but this time it wasn’t working. “So, now what?”
“Like Gaeren suggested,” Sylmar said, “if it’s not coming from Durriken, I’m inclined to believe you rest on the constructive noetic spoke.
It’s adjacent to the constructive somatic spoke, and it’s clear you’re showing an affinity to tune in to memories.
We’ve likely switched your primary and secondary spokes. ”
Aeliana frowned at his choice of words. Noetic progenies usually spoke of tuning in to the mind, whether it was memories, emotions, or thoughts.
But she’d been training as a somatic progeny up until now, and she’d learned to adjust the body, whether it was healing or creating protective barriers.
It would be hard to change her thought process.
“What if I’m…” She trailed off, picturing the Wheel inside her mind and tracing the other spoke adjacent to the constructive somatic spoke. “What if I’m a destructive pneumatic and it’s all still muddled from how much magic I had in the beginning?”
“That’s why instead of testing all the spokes, we’re going to do a single test to rule out pneumatic skills.
” Sylmar gestured for Lukai to sit on the desk.
“I’d offer you the bed, but everything’s nailed down and this is the easiest way for you two to sit close—unless you’d both rather sit on the floor. ”
Lukai eyed Sylmar warily. “It’s not the desk I object to. What exactly are we doing?”
“I want Aeliana to try sifting your soul.”
Lukai laughed uncomfortably, then shrugged, settling on the desk so his knees brushed Aeliana’s hands. She pulled them back nervously, glancing at Velden and Gaeren, who both seemed far more interested in the results than Aeliana.
“The bond should help.” Sylmar gestured for them to hold hands. “It could give us a false positive result because in general you can sense each other’s well-being, but if you can’t even sift the soul of your bond, it’s clear you’re not pneumatic.”
Their awkward positioning left their clasped hands resting on the tops of Lukai’s thighs, and Aeliana willed her hands not to grow even more clammy. She closed her eyes, more to block out Lukai’s proximity than anything else.
“I’ll let Velden take over.” A thump against the wood floor gave Aeliana the sense that Sylmar had backed up with his staff, leaving room for Velden to step in. Sure enough, the half-Sayhleen’s low voice came close to her ear, as if he kneeled beside her.
“Sifting the soul has a bit more art to it than the crude simplicity of adjusting the body.”
“Velden.” Sylmar’s expected warning tone made Aeliana smile, and her entire body relaxed a fraction.
“What? You teach your way, and I’ll teach mine.”
Aeliana peeked between her lashes to catch Velden’s grin.
“Where was I? Ah, the artistic quality of sifting souls. It’s about separating truth from lies, confidence from guilt, humility from pride.
It’s easiest to sift the things that weigh heaviest on our souls, which is why novices often find lies and guilt more quickly, even if their eventual strengths lie more on the constructive side that sifts truth or possible paths in the future. ”
She closed her eyes again and tightened her grip on Lukai’s hands. “But I would have destructive pneumatic skills anyway, wouldn’t I? I’d sift to find the lies and guilt in a soul.”
“Exactly,” Velden said. “And the lies of the past.”
Aeliana frowned. “How is seeing the past different from seeing memories?”
“How is sifting the past different from tuning in to memories,” Velden corrected.
They still sounded the same to Aeliana.
“Sifting someone’s past is far more about sensing the state of their soul during their past experiences.
So while tuning in to a memory might give you a sense of that person’s emotion or senses during the memory, you’re not catching the way it affected their soul.
A destructive noetic might tune in to someone’s sadness during the memory of attending their mother’s funeral, but a destructive pneumatic would sift through the soul’s past to know if the sadness was fueled by guilt or if losing their mother shifted how they viewed their father.
The destructive pneumatic will never even see the memories the way a destructive noetic would.
They’d simply feel the status of the soul. ”
Aeliana bit her lip. Velden’s claim that this was a far more artistic spoke wasn’t as far off as it had originally seemed.
“So I reach in to get a sense of his past, not the memories, but the heart behind them.”
“Exactly.” Velden’s voice brightened, making Aeliana wonder if even he’d thought his own words were too abstract to be understood. “Lukai, make it a bit easier for her by sitting in something you feel guilty about in the past.”
The memory of Lukai handing over her blood to Sylmar, his willingness to go against her wishes so he could protect her, flashed through her mind, but that was her memory, not his.
Lukai shifted on the desk. Was he thinking of the same thing—and feeling just as uncomfortable?
It still sat between them, this ugly history that made it impossible for them to work at growing their bond.
Or at least, it made it impossible for her.
The tension in the room thickened as the silence went on, but Aeliana was hesitant to truly try. She didn’t want to sense his guilt and shame. It might make it too easy to forgive him.
“If she’s getting nothing, is it safe to assume she’s not a destructive pneumatic?” Lukai’s hands twitched in hers as he spoke.
She opened her eyes and frowned, taking in the sheen of sweat on his forehead. He wouldn’t be this stressed about her seeing his guilt and shame over the blood. It wasn’t like it was a secret she was about to discover. Unless… was there something else he’d kept secret?
Velden still kneeled beside her, and he cocked his head with a knowing glance. Hadn’t Orra said everyone had secrets?
A desire to know filled her, and this time when she shut her eyes, she felt her starlock warm against her chest. She let that warmth travel across the thread of magic, but instead of letting it look for things physically broken and in need of fixing, she urged it to look for other forms of dissonance.
It felt unfocused, like fingers blindly reaching for what might be within their grasp.
But when she finally latched on to something, the focus became far too clear.
Kendalyhn sat before her, slightly younger, her face holding none of the contempt Aeliana was used to seeing.
It was amazing how beautiful the other woman was when her lips weren’t tugged down in a frown.
Smooth light brown skin, dark braids holding the hair from her eyes, but the rest curling around to frame her face.
Without warning, Kendalyhn bent forward, as if she might kiss Aeliana. Except this was a memory, which meant she was leaning in to kiss…
“I love you, Lukai,” Kendalyhn whispered, but before their lips could brush, Aeliana felt Lukai’s body jerk away.
“I’m sorry, Kendalyhn. It’s not right.”
Aeliana caught a brief glimpse of Kendalyhn’s frustration before Lukai rubbed his palms over his face and blocked her view.
“What if she’s dead?” Kendalyhn asked.
“I’d know if she were dead.” He rubbed the mark on his palm, the motion all too familiar to Aeliana since she’d rubbed the same mark on her own hand hundreds of times.
“What if she never returns? What if Rildan lost the starbridge?” Kendalyhn’s face held a strange mix of hope and fear. “When will you decide you’ve waited long enough and live your life?”
The memory cut off abruptly, and the sway of the ship left Aeliana disoriented. She pulled her hands from Lukai’s, her gaze resting on his chest. She didn’t dare meet his eyes for fear of the truth being written in hers.
The thump of Sylmar’s staff sounded beside her, and Sylmar nearly shoved Velden aside. “Did you sift his soul? Did you sense his shame?”
She was more confused than she’d been before. Sylmar said it wouldn’t come in the form of a memory, but this was clearly the thing Lukai felt guilt over. Was her history of blood magic still affecting the way her magic worked?
“I sensed no shame or lies,” she said slowly. “I don’t think I’m able to sift his soul.”
Lukai’s shoulders dropped, his relief palpable. Sylmar stepped back and grumbled about how they’d have to start training her constructive noetic spoke simultaneously with her somatic skills even though, like Velden had said, Sylmar was likely thrilled at the prospect.
She continued to carefully avoid Lukai’s gaze, which meant she soon found herself looking at Gaeren. He studied her, then raised his eyebrows as if challenging her words.
But they hadn’t been a lie. It was clear she hadn’t sifted Lukai’s soul. She’d gotten a memory. And she hadn’t sensed guilt or shame in the memory.
She’d only sensed frustration and longing.