Chapter 25 #2
Her gaze drifted toward Kendalyhn and Lukai.
He had a shell on his knuckles that he kept flipping around to his palm, entertaining her with his sleight of hand.
She smiled and shoved his shoulder, a lightheartedness in her actions that Aeliana rarely saw.
Lukai glanced up, his brow furrowed, and he rubbed his palm when he caught Aeliana’s gaze, then stepped nervously away from Kendalyhn.
“Ah,” Velden said. “Something tells me you’re no longer talking about brands.”
“Or maybe I’m realizing bonds and brands are more similar than everyone makes them out to be.”
“Maybe. But don’t ever forget that a bond goes both ways.” He raised his eyebrows, but she still didn’t see much difference.
“Is my bond with Lukai not taking because he and Kendalyhn are in love?”
Velden gave a nervous laugh and shot a glance in the couple’s direction. For that was how Aeliana thought of them now. Now that she was looking, they were always together—always talking, training, assisting each other.
Before, when they’d traveled to the Myndren mountains, she’d thought it was more out of habit from their growing up years, especially after Aeliana had accidentally injured Kendalyhn while training.
She thought Lukai had been such a gentleman to offer to be friends with Aeliana instead of more despite their bond, but now she suspected it was because he didn’t want the bond. He never had.
“There’s always been a mutual attraction,” Velden said, “but it was understood that he was bonded to you.”
“Well, that makes me feel worse.”
“Why?” Velden asked
“If he’d never been bonded to me, maybe they would’ve bonded and sealed it with marriage ages ago.”
This time Velden’s laugh was more genuine. “They’re only a few years older than you. I doubt they would have done that ages ago.”
“You know what I mean.”
His smile fell. “I do. Their feelings for each other certainly don’t help your bond.”
His admission and acceptance of her accusation made the revelation raw and fresh once more.
Heat bloomed in her chest, a strange sensation that left her unsettled.
She didn’t like the idea of a magic mark on her palm stirring up jealousy, and she didn’t need any more reason to feel a growing dislike for Kendalyhn.
“It would explain a lot about why Kendalyhn hates me.”
“Bonds are complicated enough when they’re done by two adults who are in love and fully aware of the decision they’re making.” He turned over his palm, revealing a scar running along its edge, nearly hidden by his webs. “I can only imagine the added complication of a loveless childhood bond.”
“You were bonded?”
A wistful smile flitted across his face. “The point is, instead of asking why it’s not taking, maybe you should be asking what would help it take? Or maybe why it was done in the first place? Or maybe whether or not it’s even needed now?”
Her surprise must have shown on her face because he gestured to her hand.
“You’ve found a purpose for your brand, so you’re keeping it around. Seems the same logic should be used on your bond.”
She ran a finger over the bond mark once more. “I thought my parents bonded us for my protection.”
Velden nodded. “And maybe that will come in handy someday. Maybe Lukai will save your life. I don’t know.
But if you decide it’s worth keeping for that, then you need to ask how to make it take.
And remember my initial point: a bond goes both ways.
You’ll have to be ready to give him your heart just as much as he’s ready to give you his. ”
She frowned, well aware that he’d neatly avoided her question about his own scar. “What about Kendalyhn?”
“Kendalyhn isn’t bonded to anyone.” Velden’s words were soft with a gentle warning. “Her heart is free to choose, but even then, the choice isn’t always an easy path. Sometimes it requires stepping back to let someone else take the journey you want.”
“Everyone’s heart should be free to choose.” Her words lacked conviction, her thoughts muddled by their conversation.
Iris and Holm had chosen to be bonded, and it seemed to have made all the difference in the health of their bond and marriage, even if lately she’d caught them fighting more.
Perhaps that was expected in any relationship.
But had her parents really believed the protection of a bond was worth losing that right to choose?
For the first time, she felt a pang of frustration with her parents, a sense that maybe they’d made mistakes just like she had.
“Bonds used to be used between parents and children, not just couples,” Aeliana said, recalling her lessons from Sylmar. “If it can be used solely for protection, can’t Lukai and I be bonded for protection, but each choose someone else to marry? Can’t he choose Kendalyhn?”
Velden winced. “I can’t imagine that would work, but feel free to give them permission to try.” He chuckled and went back to squirting the deck with water. “Then let me know how that goes.”
Aeliana lifted her chin, ignoring Velden’s laughter as she made her way to Lukai. Kendalyhn’s eyes narrowed with Aeliana’s approach, but she didn’t budge from her spot beside Lukai.
“Could I speak with you…alone?” Aeliana asked Lukai.
He glanced nervously between the women, and when he didn’t respond, Kendalyhn let out a huff before mumbling something about Sylmar needing her. As she disappeared below deck, it should have gotten easier to confront Lukai, but instead Aeliana’s tongue felt too dry to form words.
“Are you wanting to train?” he asked.
She shook her head. “I wanted to ask you about the memory I saw. The one with Kendalyhn.”
His face heated, and he dropped his gaze. “I’ve never acted on it, and I never will. I swear on the Sun and Stars.” He flexed his palm, studying his bond mark. “It’s changing things anyway. I don’t—I’m not sure how I feel anymore.”
“If you love her,” Aeliana said softly, “you can’t let me get in the way.”
His gaze shot to hers, surprise flickering across his face before being replaced by confusion. “But you’re my bondmate.”
“Cut it out.” Aeliana pulled her dagger out from her belt and offered it up.
Lukai shuddered and backed away. “I know stealing your blood was wrong. I don’t expect you to forgive that anytime soon.
But even if neither of us is ready to let our bond grow, I’m not going to remove something your parents put in place for your protection.
Our parents made a promise to each other when we were young.
I made a promise to your parents to uphold the bond to keep you safe. I won’t go back on that.”
Aeliana shoved the dagger back in her belt and pursed her lips. “So we keep this awkward friendship that’s supposed to be more, and I just let Kendalyhn hate me for it?”
He winced. “I guess so.”
She studied the mark on her palm, contemplating cutting it out on her own. It wasn’t like Lukai could single-handedly protect her from Mayvus. How necessary could their bond be?
They stood in an uncomfortable silence for a few more moments until Lukai tugged on the collar of his shirt and made some excuse about helping Thallahan with the sails.
A cheerful whistle carried across the ship, and Aeliana turned to find Velden dancing her way with his mop.
He winked at her before dipping his imaginary partner.
“How’d all that work out for you?”