Chapter 48
Most everyone in the fortress was asleep, but Orra sat out on the northern keep’s balcony, her eyes to the Stars.
Her habits were almost as nocturnal as the winex, which was why she’d waited until this evening to approach them.
Their numbers had dwindled this cycle. Even though they’d mated and buried their eggs in the eastern garden, several had left.
More chose to return to their natural, nomadic ways than maintain the domesticated farce in the fortress.
But Felk, Lilik, and their small faithful clan remained.
Orra suspected this final bit of rejection might be too much for them, and her heart ached over what that might mean for Felk and Aeliana and the bridges they’d crossed between two seemingly rival species.
She folded up the letter she’d written, unsure in its wisdom, then made her way down the steep tower steps and through the halls to the eastern garden.
When she first arrived, the winex were out, likely hunting for their evening meal.
The guards were always more than eager to let them go, but they were more hesitant to let them back in.
She waited near the eggs they’d recently laid, placing a hand on the smooth surface and imagining the tiny creature growing inside.
It was a wonder how the winex were designed.
She wasn’t surprised that Mayvus had been intrigued by their rebirth process.
She would love to understand it as well.
But not because she wanted to use it like Mayvus did.
“What are you doing?” Lilik’s voice came out sharp and wary.
Orra turned slowly with a smile, not wanting to distress the winex further. “I’m simply marveling at your species. It’s a blessing from the Sun to be born again the way you are.”
Lilik’s eyes narrowed, and the tension in her shoulders didn’t ease until Orra removed her hand from the egg. “Why are you here?”
“I’ve come to see Felk,” Orra said. “But I admit my news affects you all.”
Lilik dropped to all fours and slunk across the room toward the eggs. Her eyes hardly blinked as she assessed Orra. “What sort of news?” Once she reached the eggs, she stood, placing her palms on the eggs as if testing all of them for the life inside.
“I would prefer to share the news with Felk, but I don’t mind if you all listen together.”
“All six of us?” Lilik muttered.
Orra faltered. “There are only six of you now?”
“The others all left. Said they felt stifled by this confined space.”
“But you stayed…” Orra let the words hang.
Lilik sighed. “I stayed for Felk. But I want to leave. In my next life, I might not be able to stay. It makes me sad for him.”
“The connection you have across lives is beautiful,” Orra said.
Lilik eyed her strangely as if questioning whether or not it was truly a compliment. “He’ll come soon. The smallest in our group hadn’t made a catch yet.” She turned back to the eggs. “I was worried about the eggs. He let me return alone.”
Orra smiled in an effort to hide her pain for this creature who seemed to know the eggs had been in danger in the past, even though that had been a previous lifetime, something Emeris hadn’t bothered sharing with them.
It reminded her of Marnok and the way his memories seemed to be in there somewhere, just inaccessible.
She and Lilik awkwardly shared the space in silence until the light gallop of the other winex was heard. Sure enough, only five entered the room, including Felk.
For the first time, Orra suspected her news might be better received than she’d anticipated.
“Orra?” Felk asked. “You’re awake late.” He glanced up at the moon, barely visible through the garden’s open roof.
“I’m leaving in the morning.” Orra adopted their preferred direct approach.
A few of them stood a little taller, raising their noses as if sniffing out the danger in her words.
“Why?” Felk cocked his head.
“We’ve learned that Mayvus is bringing people from Ahmranas. She’s building another army.”
A few of the winex snarled, dropping to all fours.
“So you’re running,” Felk said.
Orra weighed his words, not quite sure she could say yes or no to the accusation. “We’re traveling to warn Aeliana. But yes, we don’t want to be here when she returns.”
Felk and Lilik exchanged a glance, both reflexively leaning in closer to the eggs. “You’re all leaving?” he asked.
Orra shook her head. “The army is staying behind. I suspect General Nels will give each soldier the option, and many might go home to protect their families and avoid a worse fate.”
“But some will stay,” Felk said.
Orra nodded. “However, they have not invited you to stay with them.”
A flash of pain crossed Felk’s face, but he quickly schooled his features. “They never wanted us here.”
“Some of us did,” Orra corrected softly.
“It’s not our way.” Lilik placed a hand on Felk’s arm, her serenity crossing through to him until he visibly drooped.
“I understand,” he said. “I wanted to meet Aeliana. The memories… confused me. I think she would have wanted to say goodbye.”
Orra hesitated, then pulled the paper from her pocket. “I know you’ve worked on your letters in past cycles, but this one, we didn’t spend enough time on them. I wrote this for you in case it helped.”
Felk took the parchment, opening it and scanning the words. He’d maintained the ability to read ever since the first time Aeliana had taught him, but each cycle he had to regain the dexterity of forming the letters himself. It was one more way in which their rebirth each moon fascinated Orra.
“It will be your choice,” she said. “You can place the letter in your nest on your last night and retain a connection to us, or you can throw the letter in the sea and move on. Aeliana will not blame you for living the life the Sun created you for. You were not meant for these walls.” She glanced at the minimal trees around them, the atmosphere they’d hoped would be enough like the woods to appease the winex.
But it hadn’t been enough, and the winex could not be forced to be something they were not.
“The decision I make on my last night might not be the decision I make next cycle.” Felk dug his toe in the dirt at their feet, looking far younger than one week shy of his rebirth.
Lilik wrapped an arm around his shoulders.
“It’s not fair to my future self if I make the wrong choice,” he added.
Orra smiled. “I could say the same of each of my lifetimes. It doesn’t matter that I remember my past experiences.
I still make different decisions, and I still have to live with the consequences.
We each have to make the best of what we’re given.
I know you’ll make the right choice, because neither choice is wrong, Felk.
It’s less about which choice you make in this moment and more about who you are in each of your lifetimes.
” She stepped forward, tapping him on the chest. “Aeliana sensed something in you that has carried through every lifetime she’s known you. That’s what matters.”
His face flickered through a number of emotions as he and Lilik exchanged a glance. When he regained control of his mask, Orra stepped back, clasping her empty hands behind her.
“If you’d like to say goodbye to the others, we’ll be gathered at the gates in the morning. But if you choose to leave during the night, I’ll understand. Regardless of which choice you make, may the Sun’s light always guide you.”
Felk nodded but didn’t return the farewell. It wasn’t his way, and she didn’t expect him to.
The next morning, when the soldiers gathered at the gates to send her off with Rildan, Emeris, and Marnok, the winex were nowhere to be found.