Chapter 56
Gaeren had never been so relieved to feel solid ground beneath his feet.
As his senses recovered from the shift, waves broke on a shoreline and the salty scent of the sea brought him a nostalgic comfort.
He dropped to the ground and buried his hands in the sand, shocked that he had survived and grateful that he had yet one more day to live.
But next to him, Aeliana fell to her knees with a shuddering sob. He wrapped his arms around her, and she clung to him as though his presence was the only thing still anchoring her. The image of Nori’s blank eyes came back to him, and his heart broke right alongside Aeliana’s.
Lukai approached, his eyes rimmed red, and Gaeren felt an odd sense of possession.
But his bond mark twinged, and he released his hold on Aeliana, allowing Lukai to step in and comfort her in his place.
He clenched his jaw and looked away, his chest burning with all they’d been through in the last hours.
He’d thought he was going to die for her.
He’d thought it was his moment to sacrifice for all of Rhystahn, that his death would somehow eventually bring about peace for both Enla and Aeliana.
But now that the moment had passed and he was here and alive, he was no longer sure what any of Lady Merinnia’s visions had meant or how they connected to the sprite’s deal.
The others seemed just as lost. Iris took herself to the edge of the water and sat, burying her face in her hands, Holm’s sword tucked against her side. Sylmar and Velden approached the tree line, likely to guard from any unwanted visitors and assess their surroundings.
Without the Sun’s light, it was difficult to get a sense of direction, but with the moon closer inland than to the shore, Gaeren suspected they were on the western side of Vendaras. The landscape even looked familiar enough that he suspected they might be near Rykarn.
Cyrus and Kendalyhn awkwardly sat together, her eyes not leaving Lukai and Aeliana while Cyrus attempted to engage her in conversation. It left Riveran and Gaeren alone for the first time since they’d traveled to Sayhla Island.
“She knew it would happen,” Riveran said, “and she chose it anyway.” There was a strange glint in his eyes that made Gaeren suspect he might not actually be talking about Nori.
“What did the Seer show you?” Gaeren asked.
Riveran blinked. “What did she show any of us?” he muttered, then shoved his hands in his pockets and looked to the moon.
“I thought her visions were ridiculous until proven true by Iris and Holm.” He dropped to a heated whisper as though afraid Iris might overhear them.
“I have no claim on Enla, but she will always be mine to protect. And yet the visions I saw make that seem impossible. They don’t even seem realistic. ” He gave a short laugh.
Gaeren’s heart pounded as a new fear overtook him. How did Riveran’s visions match Gaeren’s? If they combined their knowledge, would it improve their understanding? “What do you mean?”
“I saw two paths,” Riveran said. “One where I handed her an egg, a dragon hatchling.” He shook his head. “The absurdity of it made it impossible for me to take anything seriously. But now I don’t know what to think.”
“How old did she seem?” Gaeren asked.
Riveran squinted at him. “How old?”
“In my visions,” Gaeren said, “she looked five years older, maybe ten in one, but far older and almost sickly in the other.”
Riveran’s face went slack. “You saw Enla too.”
Gaeren hesitated. “The Seer knew I wanted to keep both Enla and Aeliana safe. Despite how crazy a dragon egg might seem, that woman’s visions are frighteningly accurate.” He glanced at Iris. “I don’t think any of us can deny that now.”
“She looked older to me,” Riveran admitted, “but it was hard to say. She seemed… broken.”
Gaeren nodded. “It was the same for me in one vision, but in the other, she was still young. Something still seemed off in that one though. She seemed cold and alone.” He was hesitant to mention Riveran’s presence in the first vision, knowing that might make it seem better to Riveran in some way.
He would never wish that sort of brokenness on his sister, but in the other, she’d seemed so much like his father, and he wasn’t sure he could wish that on her either.
“In many ways, it was like one path showed me my family’s continued domination, and another showed me their downfall. ”
Riveran’s lips pursed, and he dug the toe of his boot into the sand. “Even so, neither future looked very promising for her.”
“But she was alive,” Gaeren whispered.
Riveran’s gaze shot up to meet Gaeren’s. “Was Aeliana not?”
Gaeren glanced at Lukai and Aeliana, taking small satisfaction in the way she seemed stiff at his side, his arm wrapped around her shoulder. Then he hated himself for it, because it meant she wasn’t receiving the comfort she needed.
“She was alive in one path. Alive and happy.”
“With you?” Riveran asked.
This time, Gaeren couldn’t hide his shock. “Sun’s fire, no. I mean, I don’t know. Why would she be? She’s bonded to Lukai.”
Riveran rolled his eyes. “At first I thought you might be interested in her because of her low starblood concentration. Anything to defy the ways of the crown.” Riveran pulled his hands from his pockets and studied the scar marring his palm, the evidence of the bond he’d once had with Enla.
“Although after seeing Aeliana’s magic, I don’t even know if your parents would care that her father is Lorvandan. ”
“You’re being ridiculous,” Gaeren said, even though Riveran’s words only echoed thoughts Gaeren had had throughout their journey to Andel and Sayhla Island.
“Then I think I was jealous that you were bucking the system,” Riveran went on as if Gaeren hadn’t said anything. “That despite the bonds, you were choosing who you wanted. And part of me hoped that Enla might do the same.”
“Enla has never bucked any system,” Gaeren muttered.
“Maybe not,” Riveran said, “but she would encourage you to do this. She already has. She wanted you to break your bond, and yet you haven’t done it.”
Gaeren frowned and studied his bond mark, its edges faded and distorted. He suspected over time it would go away just like Enla had said. It was the easy way out. But what opportunities would he miss in the meantime?
“Even if I cut it out, she still has hers.” It felt strangely close to an admission that maybe something else held him back.
“What if she’s saying the exact same thing about you?” Riveran asked. “It seems like a neat enough solution to me. Kendalyhn loves Lukai. You love Aeliana.”
The bold statement startled Gaeren. “I care about Aeliana, but she’s like a sister.” The words felt like a lie as they left Gaeren’s lips.
Riveran’s laugh rang out across the shoreline, drawing everyone’s attention.
He cut it short as though it was disrespectful in the wake of all they’d experienced.
But he still shook his head and smiled. “You’re in denial.
Maybe it’s the bond that does it to you; I don’t know.
Maybe you’ll never really know until you break that bond and see what your heart does without its influence. ”
“What did your heart do?” Gaeren tried to keep the anger out of his voice, knowing it was his parents who had forced them to break their bond instead of it being Riveran’s choice.
But it was hard to forget the pain Enla had experienced, the pain he was likely to inflict on Lenda and maybe even himself.
“I hated her when it was broken, but I also loved her.” Riveran frowned at the coastline, clearly seeing something else in his mind, tempting Gaeren to reach for his friend’s memory.
“I thought maybe I could stick around and work in the stables or in the aviary with Gullet. I think your father even considered it because of how easily I calmed the animals. But when he had Enla bond with Croft, everything got mixed up again. It took time for things to settle. It still probably isn’t quite right. ”
Sylmar and Velden approached, cutting off their conversation.
“The Sun’s rise will be coming soon,” Sylmar said. “We can’t remain on this beach. Are these western shores familiar to you?”
Gaeren and Riveran both nodded.
“We’re likely two or three days from where we left Bayla, Rox, and Breeve’s family,” Riveran said, and as he did, the familiar coastline fell into place in the map in Gaeren’s mind.
Sylmar’s irritated frown disappeared in his relief. “Good. We’ll find a place to rest for a spell, but we’ll aim to get at least half a day’s travel in. Any town nearby that might have supplies?”
Gaeren let Riveran and Sylmar hash out the details while Cyrus approached Velden and passed off the silver fish.
It was fitting for the half-Sayhleen to be in charge of it, which made Gaeren wonder if he should pass the golden arrow off to Cyrus.
But Orra had charged him with guarding it, and he’d promised the Recreants he’d use it to remove his family from the throne as a last resort. He’d hang on to it for now.
His mind and gaze still strayed to Aeliana and Lukai. Riveran’s words left him on edge, almost angry at the potential for their truth.
He’d thought love would be quick and obvious. Thallahan had described it as being like an Awakening. But understanding dawned as Gaeren realized that didn’t mean it had to happen in an instant.
That same triumphant fire that had woven through him as he’d first gripped his starlock now reared again in his belly, but it was muted by circumstance.
The realization that he loved a woman he was supposed to have hated because of her bloodline—a woman who was not his bondmate—left him reeling.
It almost made the idea of breaking his bond worse.
Because that meant he was doing it for himself instead of to free Lenda, like Enla had suggested.
But it also filled him with a dangerous hope. And yet that hope was tempered by the fact that she was currently in another man’s arms.