Chapter 10 #2
“That’s my friend Miriam,” June said. “She’s wonderful, and she means well, but she’s a meddler. I am going to hear a lot about how handsome you are when I see her next.”
Levi’s eyes twinkled at her. “You think I’m handsome?”
June playfully hid her face behind her menu instead of answering.
Levi laughed and turned his attention to his own menu.
When the waiter returned, Levi ordered braised beef short ribs with a side of roasted and herbed root vegetables.
June ordered a mushroom bourguignon served over house-made egg noodles, an upscale nod to a comfort classic that was widely touted as being the perfect winter meal, even for those who weren’t vegetarians.
Levi talked June into ordering an appetizer: baked brie en croute, which was served with fig jam and thyme, along with little rounds of herbed bread to spread the delicious jam upon.
“Oh my gosh,” June moaned happily around the first bite, covering her mouth in hopes of obscuring her bad manners. She couldn’t wait to express this, however. “This is so good. I never order an appetizer, but this is so good.”
“Not to be too forward, but I would like to marry this jam,” Levi joked. “I am in love, and we shall be married.”
June chuckled, nearly choking on her bite of food.
Their conversation flowed easily from there, at least in part because Levi asked June about one of her favorite topics: Benjamin.
“So, you have a son, right?” he asked when their entrees had arrived. “I saw you with him at the diner. Sorry if that seems creepy or something.”
She laughed. “It’s not,” she reassured him. “Small towns mean that everybody knows everything about everyone. And yes, in my totally unbiased opinion, I have the greatest son in the world. Benjamin. He’s seven, and totally hilarious and perfect and wonderful.”
“In your unbiased opinion,” Levi mimicked jokingly.
“Exactly,” she said.
“So,” Levi went on, “is your son with his dad tonight? Sorry,” she added, wincing. “I feel like that crossed back over into creepy again. I guess what I’m looking for is a slick way to ask about your history, but I’m totally missing the ball.”
His slight awkwardness made June feel so much more comfortable.
“It’s okay,” she said. “I’m out of practice with dating, so I couldn’t be slick if I tried. But no,” she continued, reflecting on how there was never an easy way to have the ‘dead husband’ conversation. “Benjamin’s father is my late husband; he passed a few years ago.”
“Oh, June,” Levi said, his expression creasing with sympathetic dismay. “I’m so sorry. That’s… it’s horrible.”
She gave him a sad smile. “Yeah, thanks. It… it is horrible. There’s no real other way to put it.
And his passing was sudden, so those first few days were…
” She shook her head. “Honestly, I can barely even remember them properly. It’s like my head was stuck inside this dark cloud, and all I could focus on was keeping Benjamin safe. Fed. And gradually, we figured it out.”
“It’s not the same,” he said, “but my dad is actually my mom’s second husband, because she lost her first spouse too. And I know she still keeps him with her. They didn’t have any kids together though, so I can only imagine that losing your spouse with your son so young was even tougher.”
“It was,” she agreed. “But in some ways, having Benjamin also saved me a bit, I think. He gave me a reason to get out of bed and face the day when I woke up and wanted nothing more than to curl up and sob the hours away. And I think that doing things was probably better for me than just letting grief carry me away.”
He considered these words in a thoughtful, kind way that made June’s heart skip a beat. He really was so lovely and considerate.
“That makes sense,” he said after a long moment. “He’s clearly a blessing. I mean, all kids are a blessing, but as you reported—”
“In my totally unbiased way,” June interjected with a watery little laugh, needing a little levity after all the weighty, emotional talk.
“Exactly,” Levi said. “Your Benjamin is the best kid ever, and having that memory of your husband must be so special. But some blessings come with unexpected challenges and heartache.”
June gave him an assessing look. “You’re wise, do you know that?”
He looked slightly bashful. “Nah,” he demurred. “I just listen to a lot of sad songs.”
“No, I don’t think so,” she said. “I think you’ve maybe faced some challenges and heartache of your own. With your career, maybe?”
He paused, and this time it was June’s turn to worry that she’d gone too far. But after another slow, contemplative bite of his food, he nodded.
“Yeah, maybe,” he said. “I would feel like a jerk even comparing it to what you’ve been through, but I think that maybe every good thing has a little bit of a counterpoint to it.
My career has been great. I love music. And I love that I get to play music and make a living, a good living, doing so.
But the other stuff, the part where I’m off the stage but still feel like I have to always be performing?
” He rubbed the back of his neck. “It isn’t easy. ”
On impulse, June reached out to touch the back of his hand where it was resting on the table.
He flipped his grip just long enough to squeeze her hand in appreciation, then they both went back to their meals, as if detecting that they both needed a brief break from the intensity of their conversation.
When they started speaking again, it was to discuss easier topics. They talked about the ambiance of the restaurant, of the supposed ‘warm snap’ that was supposed to hit them the next week.
“It’s going to be in the high forties, or at least that’s what the weather report says. I don’t buy it though,” June insisted.
“Stop saying ‘forties’ like that’s warm!” Levi insisted laughingly. “That’s cold! It’s still really, really cold!”
“Welcome to New England, Levi,” she said, raising her glass of red wine, which paired perfectly with her dinner, in a toast.
He clinked his glass, which contained an old fashioned, against hers.
“Sometimes, I like to torture myself a bit by looking at the weather report in Nashville,” he admitted.
“But then, before I start to think about booking a flight back to Tennessee… or Florida… or Central America, I look at the social media of some of my friends in the music scene, and then I remember that I spent the last night snug in my own house, and the jealousy fades.”
June grinned. “You know, I think most people see that kind of stuff and they start to feel jealous,” she pointed out.
Levi shrugged. “We were talking about things that I sacrificed for my music career. And I think the number one thing that I lost was silence. Peace. Quiet. So, I’m soaking in every minute.”
“As the mom of a small kid, I can relate to that,” June said, and they clinked glasses again.
The conversation flowed so easily between them that June was surprised when she noticed that her plate had been cleared of every bite almost without her noticing, and that Levi’s meal was entirely gone too.
“We could order dessert?” Levi suggested.
June pressed a hand to her stomach. “I want to say yes, because I’m having a really nice time, but…”
“I’m pretty full too,” he said. “For what it’s worth though, I’m also having a really nice time.”
When they grinned at one another, June suspected that they both looked a little dopey. But she didn’t mind. That was nice too.
Levi flagged down the waiter for the bill. June mentally tried to do math as she dug through her small purse for her credit card, but Levi waved her off.
“June, no,” he said, holding the bill close to his chest as though he worried that she might try to steal it out of his hands. “Please. It’s my treat.”
“I can pay my half,” she insisted, even though she knew that the dinner would put a dent in her budget for the week.
“Nah, no chance,” he said, slipping his own card into the leather folder and handing it back to the waiter before June could protest further. “I invited you on a date. The inviter pays. Those are the rules.”
She scrunched her nose at him. Her pride nagged at her to insist, but she had to admit that his logic seemed sound.
“Don’t argue,” he said, waving his hand in front of her like he was trying to hypnotize her. “Just let me do this.”
She laughed.
“Okay, okay, you win,” she said. “I guess it’s just been a while since I let a man in my life do something nice to take care of me. I’m not used to it any longer.”
“I’m a man in your life?” Levi asked with a grin. “I like that.”
“Oh my gosh,” June said, pressing a hand to her cheek. “Can we just forget I said that?”
“No way,” Levi said. “Now, come on. Let the man in your life help you into your coat. It’s cold out there.”
He continued teasing her all the way back to her house, which June found not at all unpleasant. When they got to her house, he walked her to the door, every inch the Southern gentleman.
It might have been freezing now, with the sun gone down and the wind picking up, but both June and Levi hesitated on her stoop.
“I… would really like to see you again, June,” he said after a pause that wasn’t quite awkward, but not quite comfortable either. Anticipatory, June decided was the word.
“I would like that too.” She was amazed by how easily the reply sprung to her lips.
But she found that the idea of refusing him was…
unthinkable. She was definitely still feeling the nerves of letting someone in, this time in a different way than before they’d gone out tonight.
Now, it was more the flickering anticipation that this could really… be something between them.
And with everything in both their lives so uncertain, that was a worrisome idea. But not so worrisome that she even considered turning him down.
“Okay,” he said happily. “Great.”
And then, before June had a chance to fret about it, he leaned down and pressed a kiss to her cheek, then practically skipped down the stairs of her porch back to his car.
“I’ll see you soon,” he said, and the words sounded like a promise.
He remained parked in the driveway until she got inside and closed the door. As June leaned against the inside of her front door, her hands clutched to her chest in glee, she heard his car engine start, then disappear as he pulled out of the driveway.
Soon, she thought giddily to herself, couldn’t come soon enough, not when it came to seeing Levi Hawkins again.