Chapter 16. Childhood Crushes Do Matter, Damn It
CHAPTER 16
Childhood Crushes Do Matter, Damn It
When I got home that afternoon, Alec was lounging on the sofa, staring at the TV. He was wearing the same pair of shorts from this morning, although the glasses were gone, and the T-shirt was different. His hair was damp, as if he’d just stepped out of the shower.
“Judging from your clothes, I’m guessing you haven’t left the house the whole day.”
He made a noncommittal sound, not taking his eyes off the TV.
“What are you watching?” I adopted a cheerful tone, then glanced at the screen and made a mock gasping sound. “ The Bachelorette ? I thought you hated reality TV shows. See how good of a fake girlfriend I am? I remembered that useless trivia about you.”
Alec sighed, my quips clearly testing his patience. “Well done.”
I sat down next to him, pointedly ignoring his sulkiness. “Having a lazy day off today? Thought you’d be at the gym, or hiking, or canoeing, or whatever it is you do on the weekends. Your girlfriend’s busy again?”
“She’s not my girlfriend.”
“Sorry. Your potential girlfriend.”
His jaw ticked. “She was working. Not that it’s any of your business.”
I ignored the small thrill I felt at realizing that he wasn’t spending time with the woman he was interested in. “Are we back to being frenemies? I thought we’d gone past that.”
He finally glanced up at me. “How was your coffee date?”
I gave him a teasing grin. “Jealous, are we?”
He gave a low scoff. “In your dreams.”
“Relax, sweetheart. My heart belongs to you, at least until our fake courtship is over.”
“I’m not jealous. I’m upset, because you don’t seem to care that your date with Mike could jeopardize the deal with Jacqui. Did you ever stop to think about that?”
“Nobody saw us,” I said. “Even if they did, we didn’t do anything. He’s just a friend. We went to a café, I drank some tea, we had a chat. I didn’t make out with him in public.”
Annoyance flashed in his eyes, and the jaw tics became more pronounced. “I’m respectfully asking you to refrain from making out with him in public until our agreement is over. After that, you’re free to see and do anything with anyone.”
An unexpected flurry of frustration swirled inside my head. He didn’t care who I’d be seeing once this fake relationship was over? That annoyed me more than I thought it would.
“Actually, I’m seeing him again next week. I could use more friendly faces in this city, since the company I’m presently in is so insufferable.”
This time, a vein popped in his neck. “Is that so?”
Mike’s words from earlier came back, shaming me and reminding me again that after everything Alec had done for me, I shouldn’t be behaving this way.
“Listen, I don’t want to fight. I got you something.” I placed the brown paper box I’d been holding on the sofa. “I’ve been wanting to check out the place, and their pastries are highly recommended by Kim and Jenna. I was going to bake you some brookies, but I got sidetracked and didn’t have enough time.” I pointed at the box. “Open it.”
His gaze was suspicious. “Are they poisonous?”
“I won’t lie, the thought did cross my mind.”
“You do realize that if you tried to poison me, Rob knows you live here, so you’ll end up becoming the first and prime suspect.”
“Naomi’s going to help me get rid of your body. No one’s going to suspect anything.”
He rolled his eyes. “Pretty sure that’s not how it works.”
“Just open the damn box already, will you? Fine, I’ll do it.” I lifted the lid with a flourish, revealing a dozen mini éclairs inside. “It’s from the French patisserie inside the Plaza. Wasn’t too sure what your preferences are, so half is chocolate, because you can’t go wrong with chocolate, and the other half is mocha, seeing how you inhale coffee every morning. I don’t know how to make these myself, so I thought these would be a nice treat for you.”
His eyes narrowed. “What’s this for?”
I took a deep breath. “If I tell you, promise you won’t be angry at Mike.”
“Really? We’re still talking about Mike?”
“He told me you paid for some of my car repair fees.”
Alec pursed his lips. “Did he, now? First date, and you’re already sharing your innermost secrets with each other?”
Deciding to ignore the snarky comment, I reached into my bag and took out the check I’d written for two thousand dollars. “This is yours. I appreciate your help, but I’m paying you back. Did I tell you, by the way, how I got hired at my last job?”
Confusion crossed his face at my abrupt change of subject. “No.”
“My mother secretly paid them. To hire me.” I chewed on my lower lip, trying to keep my bubbling anger in check. “And then to fire me, too.”
The confused look slowly cleared, replaced by understanding. “I didn’t know.”
“Neither did I, until a few weeks ago. I know you were just trying to help, and I really, truly, appreciate you so much. That,” I pointed at the box of éclairs, “is me saying thank you. But in the future, please don’t go around paying people behind my back without letting me know about it.”
“I won’t. I promise.” His face turned sheepish. “I’m sorry. I was only trying to help because you’ve been having a rough time with your finances. Eric—”
“Would have done the same for your sisters, I know.”
Alec nodded, his expression slowly softening. “Why don’t you hold on to this for now? Pay me back once you’ve made some money.” He handed me the check. “I’ll keep the éclairs.”
“Please take the check. And the éclairs. You’ve done more than enough.”
“Actually, you know what?” A wide grin split his face, showcasing his dimple, and he let out an evil chuckle. “I should probably charge the repair costs to Eric, plus interest. God knows he owes me from all those times I lied to your parents, covering for him.”
I couldn’t respond, because the grin had transformed his surliness into sunshine, inviting me to come closer and bask in his warmth. Maybe he’d done me the favor because of Eric, but right now, I didn’t really care. I just wanted to stay in this spot and be on the receiving end of his smile and kindness.
Before it was time to say goodbye.
I forced myself to snap back into the present and pushed the check back at him. “I’m sure he’ll appreciate that. But it’s my car, so I’ll pay for it.”
Alec sighed, then nodded. “Okay. Thanks again for the éclairs.” He suddenly perked up. “Which reminds me. I’ve got something for you, too. Wait here.” He leapt up the stairs to his room and came back a few minutes later with a blue paper bag.
It was my turn to be suspicious. “What’s that?”
“Your present. Happy birthday.” He handed it to me.
My eyes widened. “You… remembered?”
“Yeah.” Red tinted his cheeks as he gestured for me to open the bag. “I didn’t know what to get you. I hope you like it.”
My jaw went slack when I pulled out a plaid pajama set.
In mint green.
My favorite color.
Here’s the thing: most—90 percent, maybe—of my wardrobe consisted of striped and plaid designs. On any given day, I’d be wearing either a striped tee, or a plaid shirt, or a dress in any of those motifs. I’d been known to own other types of clothing, but if one took a sweeping look at my closet, the emerging pattern would be clear as day.
Which meant Alec had been paying attention to what I’d been wearing.
I swallowed to get past the thick lump of emotions lodged in my throat. “You shouldn’t have,” I whispered.
“Too late, I already did. You can retire those holey Hello Kitty pajamas.” His cheeks now resembled a ripe tomato. “Anyway, when I asked about your plans this morning, I thought we could go for lunch to celebrate your birthday. There’s an awesome Italian restaurant that makes the best wood-fired smoked salmon pizza in the entire city. The entire country, even. You haven’t lived until you’ve had one of those.”
Oh.
“Then fucking Mike Chang had to go and ruin my plans.”
OHHHHH.
That’s why he was upset this morning.
He quickly clarified, “I was really looking forward to that pizza.”
I reached out and gave him a hug. “I love this, Alec. Thank you.”
His fresh soap smell surrounded me, and I greedily inhaled it, not even stopping myself from burying my nose in his neck, or caring if he could hear the brass band booming behind my rib cage. My heart was full, overflowing with awe and gratitude. This man not only remembered my birthday, but gave me an extremely thoughtful gift (in my favorite color), and had even planned a birthday lunch (of my favorite food, too) for me. I could feel my self-control slowly slipping, falling more and more under his spell, as his hand gently, absentmindedly, rubbed my shoulders.
Brain to Ellie , a small voice addressed me. Remember the Stay on Track Plan?
Yes. Yes, I do. I reluctantly pulled away, not meeting his eyes. He got up and padded toward the kitchen, beckoning me to follow him.
“I hope you have no plans tonight. Because what you’ll be doing,” he announced with a wink, “is celebrating your birthday with me.”
“Whatever happened to limiting our social interaction?”
“It’s your birthday. We’ll make an exception.” He uncovered a dish on the kitchen counter, revealing mouthwatering fried noodles, with sliced chicken, eggs, prawns, and veggies. “I made some mie goreng earlier, because we have to have noodles on our birthdays, right?”
I was the human equivalent of a goldfish. Eyes bigger than five-cent coins, mouth hanging open, at a loss for words.
“I also ordered some food from Java Spice.” He pulled out a few takeaway containers from a brown delivery bag. “We’ve got some sate ayam, oxtail soup, and gado-gado with extra peanut sauce. When Mr. Tanujaya heard that it was your birthday, he even threw in some pandan cakes for free.”
I closed my mouth and opened it again to say something.
Only my brain wasn’t capable enough of forming a lucid, thoughtful sentence. Instead, what came out was, “What about that pizza you really wanted?”
He shrugged. “That can wait. I’ve also got some wine. Plus, I remembered how your mom used to freak out whenever there was a birthday. So,” he opened the freezer with a flourish, “I present to you, a low-carb ice-cream cake. You can probably make your own, but birthday girls shouldn’t be making their own cakes.”
I croaked out, “You did all this for me?”
“Well, it’s not my birthday.”
Peering at him, I touched his forehead with the back of my hand. “You don’t feel feverish. Are you okay? You’re not dying or anything, right?”
“I’m perfectly fine. This is my thank-you for being such a good sport and for charming Jacqui last weekend.” A satisfied grin lit up his face as he closed the freezer. “How did I do? Your mother would be proud of me for choosing the low-carb cake.”
“She’d be so proud, she’d probably adopt you into the family in a heartbeat.”
Alec snorted. “She wouldn’t.”
“You’re right, she wouldn’t.” We both laughed at that, although a twinge of sadness filled me at the realization: that it would take a divine miracle for my mother to like and accept Alec and his family in this lifetime. “By the way, just so you know, I don’t have to totally cut off cakes and cookies and other sugary stuff.”
“You don’t?”
“Yep. I’m not limited in what I can or can’t have, as long as I take the correct amount of insulin to balance the carb intake. Although of course, healthier options are always better.”
Alec gave me a puzzled look. “Then how come your mother used to go berserk whenever you got invited to a birthday party?”
“Because she was being a control freak, even though she knew that if my level was high, I can give myself a correction dose to bring it down to an acceptable range.”
“Right. Looks like I still have a lot to learn.”
Ignoring the way that made me warm all over, I gave him another hug. “This is so thoughtful of you. You’re not so bad, Sir Grouchiness.”
His arms wrapped tightly around me. “I know. I’m the best.”
“Your potential girlfriend doesn’t mind that you’re hanging out with me tonight?”
“No.” This time, he was the first to pull away.
Immediately missing his closeness, I cleared my throat. “So, she knows about us? About our agreement, I mean.”
“She does.” He started opening the takeaway containers.
“And she’s okay with her boyfriend pretending to date another woman?”
“I’m not her boyfriend yet. And yeah, she’s totally fine with it.”
“Sounds like a keeper.” I squashed the jealousy nibbling at the edges of my heart and helped him plate the food. “When are you going to introduce us?”
“One day. You two have a lot of things in common. I think you’re going to like her.”
Don’t be so sure about that . “I’m sure I will.”
Right then, my pump beeped urgently, needing my attention. “The insulin in my pump is running low. Give me a few minutes while I change my pump site.”
Alec stopped plating the gado-gado. “Is it okay if I… observe how to?”
I gaped at him. “Why?”
“So I can learn.” He looked dead serious. “Just in case you needed help.”
My brain wasn’t fast enough to come up with an answer, so I just stood there, staring at him. Nobody else, not even my brother and Naomi, had ever said that to me, even though they’d seen me do it a lot of times. If something were to happen and I needed someone in my family to change my pump site, I’d probably be dead before they figured it out, because none of them had done it before.
And this man… wanted to learn how ?
“Let me go grab my stuff.”
When I got back to the kitchen, he’d already finished plating the food and was wiping the counter with disinfectant wipes, preparing the space for me and all my supplies, then went around to stand next to me.
“Okay. First, I need to suspend the insulin delivery on the pump.” I leaned toward him so he could have a look. “Then I need to remove the old line. It’s currently at my back.” I felt around my lower back and unplugged the pump, then tried to pull out the steel needle that was inside my body.
“Here, let me.”
He moved closer, his breath warm on my neck. One of his hands pressed at my spine, spreading heat as he held me steady, while his other hand gently peeled off the adhesive around the thin metal needle, then pulled it out. He did the same with the connecting piece, then wordlessly used alcohol wipes to clean my skin.
Damn. This felt intimate on a whole ’nother level. My back felt like it was on fire from his touch, and my cheeks were burning, and I had to concentrate on what to do next, even though I’d done this so often I could probably complete the process with my eyes closed.
“Now we’re going to fill a new cartridge with insulin.” I reached for a sterile syringe and showed him how to use it to draw insulin from the vial. “Make sure you get rid of any air bubbles in the syringe, because that could affect the insulin that gets delivered into my body. Then we fill the cartridge, and once that’s done, we load it onto the pump.”
Alec didn’t say anything, just intently watched what I was doing. He looked so serious, I was half expecting him to whip out a notebook to jot everything down or record the entire thing on his phone.
“Now I’m inserting the new site.” I lifted my top a little, pinched a bit of skin on my stomach, then stuck the new steel needle in, ignoring his wince. “Finally, I’m resuming the insulin delivery. And we’re done. Did you remember all that?”
“Most of it. I might have to see it a few more times before I can remember everything. How often do you have to do that?”
“Every two to three days. My CGM, every ten days.”
He nodded, looking like he was processing all the information as I cleaned up and safely disposed of the used needle and syringe.
“By the way,” he tilted his head at me, “what on Earth is a brookie?”
“You don’t know what a brookie is?” We each pulled out a kitchen stool and sat down. “You’ve never had one?”
He shrugged. “Can’t say that I have.”
“It’s a mash-up of brownies and cookies. And you’re in luck, because there’s a recipe for peanut butter cheesecake brookies that I’ve been wanting to try. I could use another taste tester.”
“Sign me up.”
“Anyway, how are things with GPG?”
“Jacqui is looking over the final numbers. We should be signing the deal soon.”
“That’s great. I guess she’s convinced we’re a real couple, then.”
He grinned. “Yeah. Those lovey-dovey eyes you’ve been giving me paid off.”
But as he said that, his eyes sparkled, and for the first time I realized what Kim and Jenna had been talking about: that he was also making lovey-dovey eyes at me.
That night, after slipping under my comfortable blanket, I finally did what I should’ve done weeks ago: I Googled the hell out of him.
His entire career history was on LinkedIn. He’d started Mackenzie Constructions seven years ago, and more cyberstalking unearthed articles about how his company had won awards three years in a row for building environmentally sustainable homes. They were also a major supporter during a fundraising drive for a local children’s hospital. I found pictures of him dressed as the Easter Bunny, smiling with his arm around a bunch of cute little kids, and my heart melted into a puddle on the floor.
I saved the articles—for research, obviously, so if someone quizzed me on my fake boyfriend’s company, I could recite the answer like it was implanted on a chip in my brain—when my phone pinged several times in a row, notifying me of a social media tag.
Alec had posted pictures from Jacqui’s party and the morning brunch with Phil on Facebook. There were also photos from a few hours ago, of me blowing the candles on the ice-cream cake, and a selfie of us making funny faces at the camera. Ninety-two people had liked the selfie, including one Jacqueline Goodwin and one Robbie Carmichael (who’d left heart-eyes and fire emojis in the comment). Neither Eric, Naomi, nor his sisters had liked it or left any comments, so Alec must have remembered to exclude our families in the post.
A tiny part of me was slightly disappointed because he’d turned my birthday dinner into a social media opportunity, no doubt in the name of further convincing Jacqui. But at least it reminded me that I should curb my growing feelings.
Because this. Was. Not. Real.
Still, that didn’t stop me from liking all his pictures and downloading a few good ones. If anyone asked, I’d be able to show a picture of me and my fake boyfriend.
Oh, who am I kidding? He was signing his deal soon, and the work on the store was nearly completed. In a few weeks, these photos would be my only memories of him.
Even though it was late, I started scrolling through his older posts. One photo became two, then five, and then I moved on to his other social media accounts, and went down the dark, deep rabbit hole of scrolling through all his pictures. There were lots of him with his mother and younger sisters, from when they visited him in Port Benedict. Shots of him and Rob with their group of friends. There were even a few funny throwback photos with Eric in them, and I chuckled at how young and innocent they looked. An hour later, I’d gone back and liked his very first post from many, many years ago. My excuse was that it would show Jacqui—or anyone else who bothered to check—that we really did have a genuine relationship from way back when.
Yep, I took everything in life seriously, including my fake girlfriend role.
Speaking of girlfriends… I scrolled back up to his latest posts. Maybe I could find this so-called potential girlfriend that he’d been so secretive about. There were several recent pictures of him at a group lunch with Rob and a few other people. Alec sat next to a cute, petite brunette, and could be seen chatting and laughing with her in the background in a few other photos, looking very cozy together. She was tagged in one of the pictures, so I clicked on her profile and saw that Alec had liked every single one of her posts from two months ago.
This had to be her. The potential girlfriend he was taking things slow with.
Or she could be anyone , my brain argued. She could just be a very good friend.
I huffed out a frustrated breath, pushing thoughts of him and her out of my mind. Whatever, not my business, because I shouldn’t be thinking about and obsessing over Alec.
Finally turning off the lights, I snuggled deeper under my blanket and tossed my phone on the bedside table when it pinged, alerting me to a WhatsApp message. It was past one in the morning, so I ignored it, only for it to ping again.
Did you just do a deep dive into my Insta and Facebook accounts?
You did. All the way to the first photo I’ve ever posted.
Sighing, I typed back a reply.
It’s one in the morning, Alec. I’m sleeping.
The two blue check marks immediately appeared, followed by his response.
You just spent the last hour liking all my photos.
Are you okay?
Stop exaggerating. I only liked a few.
A FEW? Sending cold hard evidence now.
I snorted when his photos popped up—screenshots of rows and rows of notifications that I’d liked photos after photos, all within seconds of each other.
Busted.
Okay fine, more than a few. Happy?! But it was an hour well spent.
I’d forgotten about your rockstar wannabe period. That pic of u and Eric with the matching bandannas was sooooo cute!
Not me. Must’ve mistaken me with someone else
My cheeks were hurting because I was grinning from ear to ear.
Thanks again for today though.
One of the best bday dinners I’ve ever had.
Not THE best?
Okay, challenge accepted.
What challenge?
I never challenged you to anything. Are you hallucinating?
Making your next birthday THE best you’ll ever have, what else?
My heart stumbled. Was he implying that he’d be around for my next birthday?
As friends, Ellie. As friends. Remember the Stay on Track Plan?
Yours is in October, right?
Very impressed you remembered.
Of course I did. I remembered everything about him.
I memorized everything.
All the mostly useless facts about my fake boyfriend.
Although there are still things I don’t know about you.
Like what?
Your favorite book,
favorite movie,
What your last meal would be,
And I still don’t know who your childhood crush was.
There was a long pause before his reply popped up.
Maybe I’ll tell you that last one, if you tell me yours too.
I hesitated, then typed my reply.
You know who mine was.
The blue check marks appeared, followed by the longest, the most excruciating silence.
But that’s ages ago and doesn’t matter anymore! So we can forget about that, right? Also, Zac Efron. Not ashamed to say I can recite every line from high school musical 1 2 and 3…
I released a relieved breath when he started typing back.
Good choice
Even I think he’s gorgeous.
Your turn now
Childhood crushes don’t matter anymore.
Didn’t you say that?
That only applies to MY answer.
Wait let me guess. Angelina Jolie?
You seem like the type that would go for Jolie.
Wrong.
J-Lo? Jen Aniston?
Sandra Bullock! Cameron Diaz?
Nope.
okay, now I REALLY HAVE TO KNOW!!
Why are we still talking about this?
Because u said you’d tell me if I told u mine!
I’m going to sleep now
Your messages will remain unread and unanswered.
No! You’re not playing fair Don’t make me come and kick down your door. You’ve got 2 mins! Alec I’m warning u!!
The two blue check marks appeared, but there was a long silence until, finally, his reply popped on my screen.
And nearly sent me into cardiac arrest.
You. My childhood crush was you.