Chapter 11 Emma
EMMA
“Where did you sleep Friday night?” I ask my sister who’s making a smoothie.
I was not surprised when she texted Saturday morning saying she’d be home in time to watch Laddie before my shift.
She’s been saying for weeks that she needs to get laid, and honestly, good for her. I just haven’t had a chance to ask how it went.
“I didn’t sleep,” she says as she pours the mixture of fruits, vegetables, and yogurt into a big, plastic tumbler. She turns and wiggles her eyebrows at me.
“Oh God,” I groan. “Please don’t.”
“Oh, I did.” She grins, wicked. “ On his fingers, on his face, on his—”
“Nope.” I clap my hands over my ears. “Absolutely not. I don’t need that mental image before coffee.”
“Just sayin’,” she says. “I got way more than a boob grab. I’m sorry you got cockblocked by your ex, though. I wasn’t paying close enough attention, or I’d have swatted him away sooner.”
“You’re not my keeper,” I say. “And honestly, I didn’t mind dancing with him.”
And other things, but I keep that thought to myself.
Or, I think I do.
Talia narrows her gaze in a way that tells me I may not have as good a poker face as I think.
“Who was he?” I ask, spearing at my cereal with my spoon, trying to get her off the subject of Liam Callaghan.
“I think one of your dumb exes’ teammates, actually,” she says. “Connor something? Big red-head with a firecrotch.”
My eyes go wide, and I whip around to make sure Laddie’s still glued to the TV, blissfully absorbed in his cartoons.
“Jesus, Tal. Can you not say that word within ten feet of my child?”
She grins even wider. “Dude. He’s super hot. Has a dirty, dirty mouth and a giant cock. Big man, big dick, big mouth. Definitely not a settle-down kind of guy, but fun for a night. Yum, yum.”
She makes an exaggerated slurping sound with her smoothie straw, and I cringe.
“Firecrotch, though?”I mutter.
She shrugs. “I call it like I see it.”
Rolling my eyes, I open Instagram and search for Reaper’s players named Connor. And yep, there he is, all shirtless and ripped and cocky-looking.
“Damn,” I say before I can stop myself, scrolling through the photos. “He’s… really good-looking.”
“Right?” she agrees, peering over the kitchen island to take in the images. “He really knew what he was doing. All. Night. Long.”
My cheeks go up in flames. I fan myself and giggle like a teenager, which only makes her cackle harder.
“So I told Liam to fuck off and you, what? Stalked home to brood about it? No, wait, he’s the broody one. He stalked off to brood, and you caught an Uber and came home and went straight to bed with your phone volume set to extra loud so you wouldn’t miss a call if Laddie needed you.”
I blush even harder. “Um. Not exactly.”
Talia’s grin fades into suspicion. “What does that mean?”
“Well, um, Liam followed me outside.”
“And?” She purses her lips.
“We just...”
She blows out a sigh, exasperated. “Emma Dawn Reyes.”
“What?” I ask, trying to look innocent. “We just kissed.”
Her look of disappointment almost makes me laugh.
“Okay, it was hotter than just kissing.”I add as she groans, “But it only lasted a minute. Two, tops. And I may have had my legs wrapped around his waist.”
Her jaw drops. “In public?”
I wince. “Against the side wall of the club?” It comes out like a question, small and sheepish. I give her a weak smile. “Oops?”
“What is it with you two?” she asks, her expression adding disgust with disappointment.
“I’m still really, really attracted to him,” I admit.
“Yeah. That much is obvious.” The snark is on full blast. “But seriously, Em. What’s the point of starting that mess up again? You made a decision. Stick to it. Let sleeping dogs lie.”
“The dog’s not sleeping anymore,” I say, my voice firmer than I expect. “We’re in each other’s orbit again, whether I like it or not. And what we had before? It’s still there. Maybe it’s different now. Maybe we’re different. Older. Wiser. The circumstances aren’t the same.”
“Are they?” she shoots back, eyebrows arched. “Because last I checked, he’d just been beaten half to death when you ran into him again. You think that screams ‘healthy life choices’?”
I feel myself getting angry on Liam’s behalf, that old desire to protect him rising inside of me, just like it did when we were young.
“You do realize that nothing that happened to him when he was a kid was his fault, right? He had a deadbeat dad and an addict mom. And his mom had a rotating cast of boyfriends who were not nice to him. He was trying to break free from that cycle, to make something of himself. Hockey was his only way out.”
“A gift you allowed him to keep by choosing to walk away and be a single mom,” she says. “You sacrificed for him, and now what? Now he gets to waltz back into your life, and you’ll all just be a happy family? It doesn’t work that way, Emma.”
“Why not?” I ask. “Why can’t it work that way? He’s in the NHL. I have a job. Things are stable. We’re not teenagers anymore; we’re adults.”
“So tell me, are you just going to march in and be like, Oh, by the way, you have a son I never told you about?” she asks. “And what about Laddie? How does this affect him? And what if you introduce them and then Liam really is a mess? What then? What if Liam rejects him?”
“He wouldn’t,” I say firmly. “Liam wouldn’t walk away from his kid.”
She scoffs. “And how do you know that, Em? He had a deadbeat father. He’s got no frame of reference for what being a good dad even looks like.
And let’s be real, he’s a professional hockey player.
He could be dick-deep in pussy all over the place.
He travels a lot. He may not want his life upended by his ex and a kid. ”
I feel like she’s slapped me in the face, and my expression must show it because she sighs and calms her tone.
“I’m sorry,” she says. “I am. That was crass. I just… I worry.”
“Tal,” I say, taking a moment to consider how to respond.
“I didn’t want to leave Liam. I loved him.
I believed in what we had together. I just wanted him to have a chance at a different life.
I believe he loved me, too, and I think I knew him well enough to know if I’d told him I was pregnant, he would’ve stayed.
He would’ve given up everything for me. For us. ”
She makes a weird, slight, dismissive motion with her hand. “Whatever, Emma. You’re going to do what you’re going to do. Just know what I think you’re taking a serious risk by opening yourself back up to him.”
“I need to talk to him,” I say. “I won’t mention Laddie, at least not at first. I do want to know who he is now, what he’s been up to. If he seems stable and things are good, then maybe. I’ll take it slow.”
My sister just shrugs. “It’s a messy idea at best, but I’m always here for you. You know that.”
“I do,” I say.
“Does he have social media?” Talia asks. “I bet you can tell a lot about him if he has social media.”
I lift a shoulder. “I already looked. Barely anything there. Just hockey stuff and the occasional charity post.” I try to sound casual.
Talia smirks like she knows exactly what I did, then announces she’s going to take a shower.
Once she disappears down the hall, I load my breakfast dishes into the dishwasher and wander over to the couch. Laddie cuddles up into my side like it’s instinct.
I kiss the top of his head. “Hey, buddy. What do you say we do something fun later today instead of turning into couch potatoes?”
He looks up at me, his eyes bright. “Like what, Mama? Can we go to the library? Please, please, please?”
I grin. “Storytime at the library, it is.”
He pumps a little fist in the air. “Yes! I love storytime. Maybe they’ll read about dragons again. Oh! And can we stop by the costume box after? I want to be the knight this time.”
“The knight, huh? Not the dragon?” I tease.
He shakes his head, serious. “No way. Knights get the sword. And the horse. And the crown sometimes.”
“Well, obviously,” I say, trying not to laugh. “We’ll go, and you can save the kingdom again. Maybe this time, the dragon can be your friend instead of the bad guy.”
He thinks about it, his little brow furrowing in concentration. “Hmm. Maybe. But only if he promises not to breathe fire on the castle this time.”
I smile against his hair. “Sure. No flaming castles today.”
“Mama, today I’m Sir Laddie the Brave! And I’m gonna rescue Princess Mom from the evil swamp monster of boredom.”
I snort. “The swamp monster of boredom?”
He nods fiercely. “Yeah! ’Cause he lives in a big goo puddle and he throws boring slime on people, and then you get all sleepy, and your brain turns into oatmeal. But I’m gonna jump in with my knight sword and be like—Hi-Yaa!—and save you.”
I laugh, pulling him into a side hug. “Well, Sir Laddie, I am honored to be your princess.”
He beams up at me, missing tooth and all. “You’re the prettiest princess, Mama. But you gotta let me do the sword fighting part, okay?”
“Deal,” I say, pressing a kiss to his cheek.
When his focus drifts back to his shows, I pull out my phone and look up Liam Callaghan’s social media pages again.
His page is still the same wall of hockey, but I scroll anyway, slowly this time, studying little details I didn’t take in before — the way his smile never quite reaches his eyes in press photos, how he always stands a little apart in group pictures, like he’s there but not really with them.
That familiar ache curls low in my chest.
He’s still hard to read. Still closed off. Still carrying the weight of whatever he never says out loud.
And I hate how much I recognize it.
How much I miss it.
How much I want to know what’s underneath.
I sigh, staring at the blank text screen for too long before finally typing: How are you?
The reply comes almost immediately.
Liam: Like, generally? Or existentially? Or...
Emma: Ummm...whichever?
Liam: I’m fine. Trying to motivate myself to do some laundry.
Emma: Sounds exciting.
Liam: Absolutely.
Emma: …
Liam: It was really good seeing you the other night.
Emma: I agree, same.
My heart beats faster.
Liam: I’ve been thinking about you a lot since then.
Emma: Oh?
Liam: Yeah.
Emma: Me, too. I’ve been thinking about you a lot since I saw you in the hospital.
My pulse trips. I stare at the screen, fingers trembling.
Liam: I’m not really sure where this goes from here.
Emma: Yeah.
Emma: Maybe we should get a cup of coffee sometime? Just talk?
Liam: Sometime?
Emma: ...
Liam: How about now?
Emma: Right now?
Liam: Right now. What part of town are you in?
Emma: Evanston. You?
Liam: Highland Park. So… not far.
Emma: Like half an hour by train.
Liam: Easy. I’ll come your way.
Emma: You don’t have to do that.
Liam: I want to. Pick a coffee shop you like.
Emma: Okay.
Liam: See you in about an hour.
I set the phone down and take a deep breath. Try not to freak out. Try not to sprint around like a teenager before prom.
Instead, I look over at Laddie. “Hey, buddy, I’m gonna hop in the shower real quick after Aunt Tal.”
He glances at me, already half-absorbed in his show. “Okay! Don’t forget to clean your pits good!”
I pretend to sniff under my arm and make a face. “Oh no. You think I stink?”
He collapses into giggles. “You always stink after coffee!”
I laugh, ruffle his hair, and head for the bathroom. My heart’s hammering like it’s my first date all over again.
I throw on an oversized Taylor Swift concert t-shirt, leggings, and tennis shoes. This outfit won’t rouse Talia’s suspicion, and it looks casual enough that it won’t send Liam the wrong message.
When I pop back out in the living room, Talia is on her laptop.
“Hey,” I say, grabbing my purse. “I’m going to run to the store and get the stuff on our list.”
She nods, but doesn’t look up. “Can you add peanut butter on there?”
“I can. Are you good if Laddie stays here? He always wants a thousand snacks when I take him with me.”
She snorts, because this is true, and we’ve both been hosed into buying some truly, heinously unhealthy snacks during our grocery runs with him. “Yup.”
“Thanks,” I say.
The second I’m in the hallway, my composure cracks. My heart’s a hammer in my chest.
Only ten minutes later, I am standing outside my favorite coffee shop.
Taking in a deep breath, I wonder, not for the first time, if I’m about to make a huge mistake.